


RA-2187

by Yusuke_Uchiha



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 23:21:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 101,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21107660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yusuke_Uchiha/pseuds/Yusuke_Uchiha
Summary: A retelling of the sequels in which Rey is the Stormtrooper who escapes the First Order. Expect major changes to the overall story of the sequels. I will add characters and tags as they become necessary.





	1. Chapter 1

It was her first mission.

Battle simulations were part of her day to day life on The First Order’s starships, but she’d never been sent on an actual mission where she was expected to fight, and kill, real people.

She was sitting on the transport along with at least a dozen other Stormtroopers while her commander stood by, his face covered by a mask as black as his clothing. A long cloak hung off of his back and leather gloves covered his hands. She’d never seen his face. He didn’t allow it. There were whispers that he was trying to emulate Darth Vader, but none dared say it within his earshot.

He felt her looking at him, as he always did, and she turned away as soon as he looked at her.

“Keep your eyes to yourself, RA-2187,” he snapped, his voice slightly distorted by the mask. “And put on your helmet. We’ll be landing soon.”

She knew better than to disobey him. A slow, agonizing Force choke had been the fate of the last Stormtrooper who had tried that.

“Yes, Master Ren,” she answered as she slid on her white helmet.

From beside her, one of her fellow Stormtroopers elbowed her in the side. She turned to look at him, wondering what he was thinking. Kylo Ren hated it when any of his subordinates spoke while preparing for a mission.

“You fancy him, don’t you?” FN-2199 asked her, and while she couldn’t see his face, she knew he was smirking.

She’d never wanted to hit him as badly as she did right then.

“I fancy getting out of this mission alive,” she answered curtly. “Do you think you can manage to actually watch my back this time?”

He shrugged. “I told you that was a glitch in the simulation. That enemy just appeared behind you out of nowhere.”

She sighed. “It was an ambush scenario. That’s how ambushes work, you moron.”

He elbowed her again, and his tone was playful when he said, “If you want me to watch your back, shouldn’t you be nicer to me?”

She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to respond when she was silenced by Kylo Ren snarling, “Quiet. We’re landing.”

She’d been slightly nervous before, but now her heart was pounding so hard she feared Kylo Ren might be able to hear it. She gripped her blaster tightly to try to stop her hands from shaking as the transport landed.

She heard the sound of blasters firing as soon as the hanger door opened, and as they were funneled out ahead of Kylo Ren, she tried to remember her training. Aim, breathe out, fire. Don’t miss. And always remember that you are expendable.

It didn’t take long for the first two parts of her training to disappear into the third when she saw her fellow Stormtroopers start to fall as they tried to clear a path for Kylo Ren to exit the transport. She looked behind her, making sure FN-2199 was behind her like he was supposed to be, and she was momentarily relieved to see that he was.

And then he wasn’t. He was on the ground, blood pouring out of his neck. Her training was forgotten, and she was on her knees beside him in an instant, trying in vain to stem the flow of blood.

They’d always known this could happen. This was what they were for. This was all they were for. Expendable. Cannon fodder. Replaceable pawns. FN-2199 had known that. She’d known that. So why was her stomach turning at the sight of his blood spurting onto her white chest plate? Why did her chest wrench when FN-2199 stopped moving?

By the time she’d managed to get back to her feet, the shooting had mostly stopped and Kylo Ren was walking out of the transport. She followed the remaining Stormtroopers to stand behind him as he approached a thin, white-haired old man wearing brown robes.

Surrounding the man was the remaining townsfolk from the town she’d just invaded, all of their faces white with fear. One of the children clutched a white stuffed cat to her chest and held tightly to her mother’s hand. Her skin was the same shade of brown as RA-2187’s, and RA knew she’d been that little girl once, but she couldn’t remember it. 

“Where is the map?” Kylo Ren snapped at the old man.

The old man’s look of resignation was matched only by his pity as he looked upon Kylo Ren and answered, “Did you truly think an old man like me would be trusted with it for long?”

RA almost respected the old man’s nerve. If only nerves could be worn as armor. After trying and failing to extract the information he wanted from the old man, Kylo Ren drew his red lightsaber. He cut the old man down where he stood, drawing shrieks out of the crowd of onlookers.

The sound of a blaster firing pierced through the shrieks, and Kylo Ren turned, holding his hand out and catching the blaster shot in midair. With his other hand, he dragged the shooter closer, a man RA could now see was around her age. He was dark of hair and his eyes were just as fearless as the old man’s when Ren forced him to his knees.

Ren looked down at him for a few seconds until the man said, “So, who talks first?”

His sarcasm was met with Ren holding his hand out toward his head and using one of the mind-tricks force-users were known for. The man’s face twisted in agony, and it looked like he was about to scream when Ren’s attack suddenly ceased.

Ren knelt down to the man’s level and said, “He gave the map to you.”

Ren then glanced over his shoulder, and RA felt as if he were looking right through her when he barked, “Search him.”

She slid her blaster into the holster on her leg and did as she was told. Starting from the man’s brown jacket, she searched the pockets and found nothing.

When she moved on to his black trousers, he said, “Moving a little fast, aren’t ya?”

As much as she didn’t want them to, her cheeks burned, but she tried to ignore it and completed the search. She glanced up at Ren and shook her head before returning to stand behind him. It wasn’t until then that she noticed she’d left FN-2199’s blood all over the man’s jacket and pants. Some of the blood still remained on her hands, and she clenched them into fists.

“Where have you hidden it?” Ren snarled.

The man didn’t answer and even went so far as to smirk at Ren, an action no Stormtrooper in their right mind would dare. Ren got back to his feet, looked at the blaster beam that he was still holding in mid-air, and slowly turned it so that it was facing toward the townsfolk.

“Very well,” Ren said as he used his other hand to wave in front of the man’s face.

The man fell instantly unconscious, and Ren turned to RA and the others. He motioned toward the townspeople, and RA knew what it meant. She readied her blaster along with the other Stormtroopers, and right after Ren loosed the blaster beam toward them, everyone open fired.

Everyone but RA. Her eyes were locked on the chocolate-skinned little girl, whose mother was desperately scrambling to shield her daughter from the incoming blaster fire. The cat dropped from the girl’s arms as her mother took a blaster to the back and fell over top of her.

It was only then that RA remembered she needed to fire her weapon, lest she be caught disobeying orders. So she fired, right over the heads of the townsfolk and at one of the buildings nearby.

That was when she felt the eyes on her. It gave her the same chill that it always did. Kylo Ren was watching her. But she still didn’t let any of her shots land. If Ren wanted these people dead, he’d more than proven he could do it himself.

The blaster fire ceased after only a few more seconds, and some of the other Stormtroopers went over to the townsfolk to search their bodies. RA followed close behind them, only stopping when she glimpsed the stuffed cat, dyed red. The little girl’s hand poked out from underneath her mother’s corpse and her open, empty eyes stared up at the sky.

She felt it again, the wrenching in her chest she’d felt when FN-2199 had died. She wasn’t supposed to be feeling this. She wasn’t supposed to feel anything but fear. Fear was the only emotion that was allowed.

But it wasn’t fear that drove RA when she knelt and picked up the cat from the puddle of blood and shoved it into one of the deep pockets inside of her armor. The consequences would be severe if she was caught with it, but she couldn’t leave it and she couldn’t say why.

She followed Ren and the others as they returned to the ship. The blood from the cat soaked through her pocket and left a trail as she went, but it ceased as soon as she sat in her seat and buckled her belt.

The whole flight back to the base, she continued to feel the chill of Ren’s eyes.

*****

RA reported to her captain as soon as the transport returned to base. It was only when she made it through the doors to the barracks that she stopped feeling Ren’s eyes. She didn’t know why he was both watching and following her, but she would be free from him for a time since he would need to interrogate the prisoner he’d taken.

The Captain approached each Stormtrooper individually and bid them remove their helmets. Her silver armor shone under the light of the room, and when she finally approached RA, she was able to see her reflection in the chest of the armor.

RA knew the Captain wasn’t given her position because of her size, but it only served to make her more intimidating. What Kylo Ren could do with the Force, Captain Phasma could do with her bare hands just as easily.

“RA-2187,” the Captain snapped. “Stop daydreaming and remove your helmet.”

RA moved to obey and held her helmet down at her side. The Captain leaned in, like she always did, searching RA’s face for even the slightest sign of emotion. RA had long since learned to remain stone-faced in front of Phasma, so it didn’t take the Captain long to move on to the next soldier in the line.

When Phasma finished with the last soldier, she said, “You’re dismissed. Except for you, RA-2187. Kylo Ren wants to speak with you.”

RA’s blood had never run so cold.

She found a Stormtrooper waiting for her outside the barracks to lead her to Ren. She followed, putting her helmet back on as she went. As soon as she realized which direction they were walking, she figured out where they were going: the prison ward. She’d dragged more prisoners into those interrogation cells than she cared to think about, so she knew what the man Ren had captured was in for.

The Stormtrooper stopped in front of one of the doors and pushed a button on the nearby keypad to open it. Three other Stormtroopers walked out before RA was able to go in.

She found Kylo Ren standing before the prisoner, whose white shirt was torn open and stained with blood that was dripping from his nose. Running down his chest were three long, puffy blisters.

“I didn’t know we had the best pilot in the Resistance on board,” Ren said sarcastically. “I suppose that explains why the torches couldn’t break you. The General wouldn’t deign to promote a weakling.”

RA stood by as the door closed behind her, and only then did both Ren and the pilot turn to look at her. She saluted Ren, as she was supposed to, and found she couldn’t form the words to ask what he needed of her. Ren stepped up to her and she hated how he was able to pierce her with his gaze despite keeping his eyes hidden.

“Take off your helmet, RA-2187,” Ren commanded.

She glanced momentarily at the pilot, knowing that she wasn’t permitted to show her face to an enemy.

“Master Ren?” she said shakily.

“Now.”

Every scenario that played through her head was worse than the one before it as she raised her trembling hands to pull the helmet off. She held it down to her side as she did with Phasma, except when Kylo Ren looked at her, she couldn’t keep the fear from her eyes. Phasma’s punishments were always harsh, but they were physical and broken bones will heal. Ren was capable of worse. Much worse.

“Did you think I wouldn’t notice?” he said, his voice laced with spite. “You missed.”

Her throat dried instantly, and she found the only thing she could do was clench her other fist.

“Sharpshooting is your specialty,” Ren said, beginning to walk around her. “So would you care to explain how you managed to miss targets that were clustered up and not moving?”

He was standing behind her at this point, and every hair on her body stood on end as she scrambled to try to figure out something to say. She could lie, say that it was her first mission and that she’d cracked under pressure. But they weren’t supposed to crack, so she would still be punished. The more she thought, the more she realized her small bit of rebellion had backed her into a corner she couldn’t escape from.

She heard Ren’s voice coming from right next to her ear when he said, “That was a trick question. I felt your conflict and your hatred for me when you raised that blaster away from the townsfolk.”

The wave of pain came on so quickly RA wasn’t able to keep hold of her helmet and it crashed to the floor. She’d seen Ren do this to prisoners before, but never could she have imagined this level of agony. It was as if Ren was splitting her skull in half and pulling her brain out piece by piece.

“It seems,” Ren growled, “that you’ve forgotten your place, RA-2187. What are you?”

She’d never been so grateful for the months of conditioning when she answered, “Expendable. Cannon fodder. A replaceable pawn.”

Her voice sounded pathetic, but the wave of pain stopped, and it was only then that she realized she’d fallen to her knees. Ren moved in front of her, and she heard him summon another Stormtrooper before the door opened again.

“Good,” Ren said tauntingly. “Now take her to re-education so that she doesn’t forget again.”

__Re-education__. RA knew every human had a fight or flight response, but she’d never experienced it before. She never knew she could. But it came out then, in full force, when she grasped her helmet, turned to the Stormtrooper Ren had called, and clubbed him in the side of the head with it. He flopped to the ground, but before RA could take even a step, her throat constricted and she couldn’t breathe.

Her whole body was dragged toward Kylo Ren, and he replaced the Force choke with a physical one, his gloved fingers gripping her so tightly she was sure he would break her neck. She should have been afraid, but relief was the only thing on her mind at that moment. There were worse ways to die, and if this was the only way she could avoid re-education, she decided it was worth it. So her eyes fell closed and she let her arms hang to her side as she waited for consciousness to leave her.

“The map’s in a droid,” came the voice of the pilot.

All at once, the constriction on RA’s neck was gone and she was on the floor, gasping for the air that had been denied her.

At the same time, Kylo Ren turned back to the pilot and said, “What?”

RA’s blurred vision began to clear, and she looked up at the pilot as he answered, “I put the map inside of a BB unit and set it loose on Jakku.”

RA’s jaw hung open as she continued to gape at the pilot. Why? The question died on her tongue before she could ask it when Kylo Ren turned back to her. She averted her eyes and looked at the floor. Her hands clenched and her feet twitched with the desire to get up and run, but she’d lost all strength to do so.

“Take her,” Ren barked at the Stormtrooper she’d knocked over before. “See to it that she makes it to re-education.”

The Stormtrooper took her by her upper arm, his grip oppressively tight as he yanked her to her feet. By instinct, she grabbed her helmet as she stood and looked briefly at the pilot, whose sympathetic eyes were following her.

She pushed past the knot in her throat and told him, “You should have let me die.”

The pilot’s sympathy turned to shock before RA looked away and followed the Stormtrooper out of the room, her feet getting heavier with every step. She slid her helmet back on as he led her down the hallways and toward the re-education wing. They found Captain Phasma standing at the entrance to the wing, talking to another Stormtrooper.

She turned to look at RA as soon as they approached, and asked, “What is it?”

The Stormtrooper holding RA answered, “Kylo Ren has ordered she be sent for re-education.”

Phasma’s annoyed sigh made RA flinch. She dismissed the Stormtrooper she’d been talking to and said, “Kylo Ren has filled up this wing with new conscripts, so there isn’t room for her right now. Take her back to the barracks and she will go in tomorrow.”

RA was relieved for only a few brief seconds. All this was doing was prolonging the inevitable, and now she had a whole twenty-four hours to think about that. She wished, again, that Ren had just killed her.

The Stormtrooper led her back to the barracks, and she went to her bed. She sat down heavily and pulled the helmet off of her head. She let it crash to the floor and moved on to the rest of her armor, peeling it off one piece at a time before sprawling out onto the bed. It was cheaply made, but it felt much harder and more uncomfortable than it ever had before.

She closed her eyes, hoping that maybe she could escape from this reality for just a few hours, but noisy voices from the other side of the room prevented her from falling asleep. After a few minutes of trying to sleep despite them, she rolled over to see what her fellow soldiers were up to.

A single Stormtrooper stood in the middle of a group who were all watching and laughing as he or she spoke through their helmet. Different voices came out every time the person spoke, which meant RA couldn’t tell their identity. It wasn’t until the helmet came off that RA realized she was a woman.

RA turned her eyes to her own helmet, and thoughts started running through her head, thoughts she shouldn’t have even been entertaining. _The best pilot in the Resistance_, Ren said. As RA reached for her helmet, she thought to put that statement to the test.


	2. Chapter 2

She ought to be grateful to Captain Phasma, RA thought as she slid her armor out from under her bed. Phasma hadn’t permitted RA to leave the barracks, even going so far as to pass her duties off to another soldier. If she hadn’t done that, RA might not have had so much time to plan her escape.

Stealing the voice modifier from that female Stormtrooper’s helmet had been easy enough, but reaching the pilot was another story entirely. She knew the routine of her fellow soldiers well enough to know that patrols were thinner during their brief sleeping hours, but having such an important prisoner on board might change that. She could only hope that her plan would work out so that the patrols wouldn’t matter much. While she had a silencer for her blaster, she didn’t want to use it.

But she wasn’t going to kid herself about her chances. This plan was more luck than skill, and death by blaster was a far more likely outcome than escape. Still, even if the former came to pass, she’d already decided she would count herself lucky and die content in knowing she’d successfully disobeyed Kylo Ren one more time.

With her armor on, she had only one more hurdle to cross before her plan could begin: incapacitating the soldier meant to take over for the one guarding the barracks. Her timing would have to be perfect. The starship was never fully silent, but the machine that would cycle out the oxygen once every few hours was one of the loudest parts of the ship. If she could hit him right as the cycle started, she could likely incapacitate him without alerting the sleeping soldiers around him.

She drew the blaster from the holster on her leg and readied it while she used her other hand to reach down and stir him.

“FX-9173,” she whispered. “Wake up. You’re late for your patrol.”

As he began to wake, she glanced around, grateful that her whispers had awakened no one else. The blanket fell from his chest as he shakily sat up, pushing his blonde locks out of his eyes. She flung the blaster toward him right as the oxygen machine kicked on, nailing him in the temple, and causing him to flop to the side. She breathed a sigh of relief and moved to lay him back down when she almost leaped through the ceiling at the sight of him moving again.

Left with no other option, she drew a cord from her pocket. She really hadn’t wanted it to come to this. __Please, please don’t die__, she silently pleaded as she looped the cord around his neck and pulled it tight. As she’d expected, he wasn’t able to struggle much since he was still dizzy from the head injury. Her eyes stung from the sweat dripping into them as she waited the long, agonizing seconds it took for him to stop moving. Once he was still, she tucked him back under his blanket, making sure to cover his head. She felt a sting of guilt at the prospect of him being punished for allowing himself to be ambushed, but those types of punishments were nothing compared to re-education.

While her heart was still hammering her chest, she couldn’t wait around. There was no telling how long he would actually stay knocked out. She went for the door to the barracks and opened it, pleased to see that the Stormtrooper standing there was wobbling from fatigue. Good. He wasn’t likely to notice that she wasn’t FX-9173.

Turning the voice modifier to a male one, she said, “I’m here to relieve you.”

He sounded ready to fall asleep where he stood when he answered, “About damn time.”

He shoved past her and went into the barracks. She made sure he was out of his armor and into bed before looking around to see what she was dealing with. As she’d expected, she saw very few patrols, and the ones she did see were hardly following protocol. They could get away with slacking off during sleeping hours since Captain Phasma wasn’t awake. After taking one last peek into the barracks to make sure both men were still in their beds, she walked away, heading toward the prison ward.

She needed to hurry, but she couldn’t let herself move too fast, lest she draw attention to herself. It was torture being forced to move so slowly when all she wanted to do was run and never stop.

She reached the ward after what felt like hours and peeked through the door to check for patrols outside of the cells. She saw only one soldier, and he was walking away from what she knew was the pilot’s cell. She didn’t like how lucky she was getting with this. It only made her think something was gonna go horribly wrong soon.

She waited for the soldier to round the corner down another hallway and opened the door to the ward. Taking silent steps, she approached the pilot’s cell and peeked inside. A single Stormtrooper stood beside the pilot, who was still restrained in the middle of the room.

She breathed out heavily, trying to prepare herself as she activated the voice modifier again, this time cycling through to a voice that she hoped would sound close enough to the one she needed.

After pressing the call button on the keypad nearby, she heard the soldier within say, “DY-4921, reporting. Rank and number?”

“Captain Phasma, CR-0010,” RA answered, taking care to fake her accent as best she could.

The man within didn’t say anything more and gave RA access to the cell. Before she opened the door, she drew out her second weapon, the one she would have to use on any other soldiers who got in her way. It was a small, almost silent taser that was meant to be used on infiltration missions. How ironic that this would be her first time using it outside of training.

She pushed the button on the keypad and the door opened. She heard the footsteps of the soldier approaching, but she didn’t want to give him time to even register what was happening and bolted inside. As the door closed behind her, she snatched the soldier by the collar of his black undershirt and pulled him closer, pressing the taser against the skin she’d exposed on his neck.

He fell to the floor and his body erupted in convulsions. Before he could regain any semblance of control over his vocal cords, she tore off his helmet and hit him over the head with her blaster just like the first man. Only this time, this soldier didn’t move, and she didn’t miss the fact that he had only slightly lighter hair than the pilot. That would prove useful.

The pilot’s eyes were on her, and she gestured for him to wait while she stripped the soldier out of his armor. Upon closer inspection, it would be slightly big on the pilot, but that was better than it being too small. She fished the keys out of the soldier’s pocket and set to freeing the pilot from his restraints.

As soon as he was free, he said, “RA-2187?”

She nodded, shoving the armor against his chest. “Take off your jacket and put that on.”

“Take off your helmet first,” he said. “I heard a different voice come outa you a minute ago.”

She thought it was a waste of time, but she still did as she was asked. She met his eyes, which she could now see were alive with awe.

He smiled at her. “You’ve got some stones on ya, you know that?”

She scoffed. “Yeah, the “stones” to run away. Now shut up and do what I said.”

He didn’t answer, but he stripped out of his jacket. He then reached inside of one of the arms, and she heard a ripping sound. His hand emerged holding what looked like a small, silver button. He slid the button into his pocket and tossed the jacket to RA. The blood from before was still there, and it made her chest ache again. FN-2199. She’d forgotten what it was like to miss someone.

Once the pilot had the armor on, he helped her drag the unconscious soldier to the restraints and she put the jacket on him. After they secured him, RA took off both of his socks, folded them together, and shoved them into his mouth, lest he wake up and try to call for help. Meanwhile, the pilot had taken all of his weapons, including his taser.

But before they could leave the cell, she had to make sure the pilot was clear on what needed to happen. Pulling him to the side, she looked toward the window on the cell’s door, making sure the patrol hadn’t come back.

Satisfied, she turned to the pilot and said, “Okay, first thing’s first. That ‘best pilot in the Resistance’ thing. Is that just lip service?”

He looked mildly annoyed when he answered, “What is this “Resistance” crap? There is no “Resistance.” There’s the Republic, and I’m in its military.”

She was legitimately taken aback by that statement. As far as she’d been told, the Resistance was a Republic splinter group led by General Leia Organa. But she shouldn’t have been surprised to learn it wasn’t true.

“Whatever,” RA said. “It doesn’t matter. Can you fly one of the fighters in the hangar?”

“I can fly anything,” he said without showing a hint of shame at how arrogant he sounded. But she’d take arrogance over cowardice any day.

“Good,” she said. “Then listen up, pilot. We-”  
  
”Poe,” he interrupted.

Slightly irritated, she asked, “What?”  
  
”My name is Poe Dameron,” he clarified. “Do you have a real name?”

“I’m sure I did once,” she huffed, “but now I’m RA-2187.”

“Well, I’m not using that again,” he said, pausing for a moment to think. “RA, huh? How about Rey? If we manage to get outa this alive, you should at least have a real name to use after.”

A name. She couldn’t remember a time when she even thought about having one. It had never seemed like something that mattered. She was expendable. Cannon fodder. A replaceable pawn. Why should someone like that need a name?

The thought made her chest burn with the resentment that had been stewing there since Kylo Ren ordered her to kill those people.

“Rey,” she repeated. “Yeah. That’ll do nicely.”

He smiled at her again, but she couldn’t smile back. She’d lost that ability a long time ago.

“Now listen,” she said. “During sleeping hours, a patrol always gets sent out in the fighters to check for anything the scanners might miss. It’s usually only one pilot and gunner. The next patrol will be starting soon, so we have to get to the hangar and knock them out right before they get into their fighter.”

Poe’s eyes narrowed. “Knock them out?”

She didn’t like his tone. “Yes, knock them out. Because I’m not killing them and neither are you.”

He crossed his arms. “Is that right?”

“Yes,” she snapped. “Because if you kill them I’ll kill you.”

His face contorted into a scowl. “Yeah? You kill me, and you’re not getting off this base.”

She shrugged. “Guess I’ll be eating a blaster, then.”

He looked genuinely shocked and his arms fell to his sides.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” he asked. “You know they’d turn you over to Ren in a second, right?”

“You think they have a choice?” she bit back. “If they don’t turn me over and Kylo Ren finds out, they’ll be the ones shipped off to re-education.”

Poe didn’t answer, and Rey’s patience had just about run its course. She took a step closer and told him, “We don’t kill them unless we absolutely have to.”

She was surprised when he not only backed down, but a look flashed over his face that she could have mistaken for guilt.

“All right,” he said. “Lead the way.”

She gave an acknowledging nod and slid her helmet back on. After checking one more time for the patrol, she opened the door and slowly led Poe out of the cell. Goosebumps pricked her skin at the sound of approaching footsteps, and she quickly motioned for Poe to hurry up. They slipped through the door that led out of the prison wing and the door closed behind them just as the patrol rounded the corner.

She shoved Poe to the other side of the door and stood perfectly still, trying to show him what he needed to do. He followed suit, and they pretended to be on guard until Rey looked over her shoulder and saw that the patrol had left again. She silently blew out a breath, and looked around the immediate area.

The guards and patrols no longer worried her as they did before. Most patrols consisted of two people, so as long as she and Poe stayed inconspicuous, they could easily pass as one. She motioned for him to follow, and they moved painstakingly slowly toward the hangar. When they reached the wing beside the hangar, they went down a short, empty hallway and toward the hangar's large double doors. Rey was thankful for the hallway. As long as no one passed directly in front of it, they weren’t likely to be seen from this side.

Keeping her voice as quiet as she could, she said, “There are always guards posted on this door, so ready your taser.”

She made it sound easy, but if the hangar had even a fraction of the guards it had during waking hours, she knew how easily they could be seen. Her luck had been good thus far. She could only hope it would hold.

“Now go to the other side of the door,” Rey said. “Hopefully, they’ll come through on their own once they hear it open.”

“Hopefully?”  
  
“You got a better idea, Dameron?”

He sighed and did as he was told. With both of their backs pressed into walls, Rey pushed the button on the nearby keypad and the doors slid open. She tried desperately to control her breathing as she heard the approaching footsteps of the two troopers outside.

As soon as the one closer to her came into view she pounced, hitting him in the neck with the taser just like the one in the cell. She was pleased when Poe also managed to down the other one just as quickly. After making sure both of them were unconscious, Rey and Poe shoved them against the walls next to the door and passed into the hangar.

The patrols were only barely more plentiful, and she and Poe were able to duck into a hiding place behind some crates while Rey scanned the room for the fighter that was scheduled for departure. The droids were always prepped at least half an hour before the patrol was meant to leave, and Rey had to hold back a groan when she saw a droid poking its head out of a fighter all the way on the other end of the hangar.

“Third fighter from the end on the other side,” she whispered to Poe.

Poe looked at the fighter before also scanning his eyes across the room.

“Looks like there’s enough crates in here that we can stay hidden pretty well,” Poe answered. “But where are the troopers that are supposed to be taking that fighter?”

Rey had to admit even she was a little worried about that. They should have already been at the fighter, making final preparations for departure. It was possible they were running behind schedule. Despite the harsh punishments, no trooper in The First Order was perfect.

She was going to tell Poe not to worry about it when her eardrums started throbbing at the sound of a piercing alarm echoing all throughout the room. Red lights began flashing as Phasma’s voice came over the intercom.

‘__Red alert. A prisoner has escaped. Lock down all doors and close the hangar.’__

Rey’s eyes bugged, and she grabbed Poe’s hand, yanking him out of their hiding place and toward the fighter. It would take them minutes, at most, to seal the hangar doors and end the escape right here.

They reached the fighter, and while Poe was scrambling to climb inside and get it started, Rey rushed to the back to unhook the fueling line. She heard the fighter’s engine fire up, and she turned to the ladder to climb inside when she was halted in her tracks by a glimpse of white.

"Stop!” came the voice of the female Stormtrooper as she shot off a blaster in Rey’s direction.

Rey’s hand moved before her mind had made a decision, and she aimed her blaster right at the other woman. Her finger squeezed the trigger, and the blast ripped right through the woman’s neck as she tried to fire another shot at Rey. The wet choking sounds coming from the dying woman made Rey’s stomach turn as she shakily climbed the ladder and sat in the gunner’s seat of the fighter.

“You ready?” Poe called out.

She wanted to answer, but a knot had formed in her throat and she feared that she would sob if she tried to make a single sound. Poe didn’t ask again and took off toward the already-closing hangar doors. The fighter slipped out of the doors right before they could seal, and Poe turned the it toward Jakku.

Panic shot through Rey as she shouted, “What are you doing? We have to get away from here!”

Poe shook his head. “I gotta finish my mission, Rey.”

“Your _mission_?” she said, exasperated. “You won’t be alive to finish it if they catch up to us!”

He ignored her and continued his course straight to the planet’s surface. She felt as if her heart was going to burst through her chest, and she was only moments away from begging him to leave when she heard beeping coming from the fighter’s dashboard. She’d only been in a fighter one other time, but she knew that beeping all the same. Poe had activated the self-destruct system.

“What are you thinking?” she shouted. “This fighter is our only way out of this system!”

“No, it’s not,” Poe said. “Now shut up and get ready to eject when I say so.”

She couldn’t reach the controls, and even if she could, she had no idea how to shut off the self-destruct, so she had no choice but to do what he said. They descended for only a few more moments before they broke through the planet’s atmosphere and the thirty second countdown to self-destruct started.

Poe glanced over his shoulder and shouted, “Now!”

Her whole body was wracked when she pulled the ejection lever and she was launched out into the skies of Jakku, still buckled to her seat. It took far too many seconds for her parachute to loose, but once it did, she was able to see a huge section of Jakku beneath her. She stared at the landscape with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. She hadn’t been allowed to simply look at the planet on her way to the mission, so she’d seen nothing outside of the arid desert-like areas.  
  
She was floating toward a bright green forest that likely contained all manner of wild creatures. Had she not been dealing with Kylo Ren as long as she had, the thought of being surrounded by potentially unfriendly wild animals might have bothered her, but as it was, such a thing would be a vacation.

She heard the ship crash to the ground behind her several seconds before she landed on a field of grass outside of the forest and scrambled to get out of the seat. Poe touched down a few yards away, but she was far too angry at him to seek him out herself, so she set to pulling off her armor. Even if it might be useful, she wouldn’t wear it any longer.

It was hot on the planet, so she proceeded to tear the sleeves off of her black overshirt and the legs off of the black pants so by the time Poe reached her, she was feeling much less uncomfortable.

“Hey,” he said. “You all right?”

She glared at him. “Not while we’re still so close to The First Order. So you’d better tell me what your backup plan is for getting us off this planet, Dameron.”

He similarly started taking off the Stormtrooper armor he’d been wearing when he responded, “My droid can send out a distress signal on a special frequency that can only be picked up by the Republic’s military. They know I’m on the mission to deliver the map, so they’ll get here fast.”

“The map,” she said mockingly. “What the hell does it lead to that is so important?”

Poe shrugged. “No idea.”

She had been in the process of making sure all of her weapons were secured to her belt, but she stopped and looked at him.

“No idea?” she repeated. “You’re risking your life, and _mine_, for a map when you don’t even know what it leads to?”

“Yeah,” he answered in a slightly snippy tone. “Because when Luke Skywalker tells you something needs to be protected, you don’t waste time worrying about why.”

Her eyes widened. “Luke Skywalker?”

He nodded, and Rey was all at once terrified and mystified. She knew the story of Luke Skywalker as well as every other Stormtrooper, but after the revelation about the Resistance, she suspected her version was not entirely accurate.

Poe had shucked the rest of the armor when she stepped up to him and said, “All right. Let’s find that droid, then. But if the First Order finds us before the Republic gets here, I’m __not__ going back.”

He looked momentarily bothered by her words, but a playful smirk quickly curled on his lips and he answered, “Then let’s hope they don’t find us because that would be one hell of a waste.”

He then set her cheeks to burning again when he winked at her and walked away. She picked her weapon belt back up and looked over what she had. A blaster, a taser, and a knife. None of them would be particularly useful against Kylo Ren or Phasma, but against other Stormtroopers… She had to swallow back another knot in her throat. They had to get away soon because she wasn’t sure she could bring herself to kill another one.

“Hey!” Poe called out. “You comin’?”

She blew out a breath and put her belt on. Standing around wasn’t going to get her off the planet any faster, so she caught up with Poe, who was holding the silver button he’d pulled from his jacket. He pressed it, and a small projection shot out of it, showing coordinates and what appeared to be an arrow pointing in their direction.

“Is that where the droid is?” she asked him.

He nodded. “I told him to find somewhere to hide and stay put until I could come back for him, but he’s too far away. I’m gonna have to tell him to meet us.”

He tapped at the button three times in quick succession, and Rey heard beeping followed by Poe saying, “BB-8. I’ll leave the tracker on. Come find us if you can.”

The word ‘tracker’ set Rey’s heart to thumping. “Won’t the First Order be able to track us, too?”

“I don’t know,” Poe answered. “But we have to get out of here soon, and BB-8 can move a lot faster than we can.”

She didn’t like how dismissive he was being, but she didn’t say anything else and followed him as he led her toward the droid.

***** 

The walk was long, far longer than Rey would have liked considering she hadn’t eaten since dinner and her stomach was grumbling loud enough that it even had Poe turning his head. She knew they had to have been walking for at least an hour before they reached a clearing in the forest, and Poe stopped, looking around for a moment.

“You sound as hungry as I am,” he said as he turned to her. “So let’s stop here. You think you can manage the fire while I go find some food?”

“Yeah,” she answered, “But how about we let the one who was trained in infiltration do the hunting instead of the one who ran, guns blazing, into Kylo Ren?”

He flashed her an irritated glare. “You’re a hard ass, do you know that?”

She hadn’t really thought about it before, but she supposed she must have been. All she ever did was insult FN-2199. It was a wonder he hung around her as much as he did. She felt the sinking feeling she felt every time she thought of him and left to go into the woods while Poe was preparing the ground for a fire pit.

She moved as silently as she could while still keeping a decent pace. She couldn’t be away from their camp for too much longer since the sun was beginning to set on this half of the planet. As she walked, she began to notice things she hadn’t before. Scents were filling her nose that she couldn’t remember ever having smelled in the past. The water, grass, and earth were so different from the smells of machinery and human body odor that permeated the First Order’s starships, but the more she smelled them, the more relaxed she felt.

She kept walking until another smell hit her, a smell that was so sweet it had her turning her head. Her eyes fell on a small patch of bright yellow flowers that were growing around a larger, blue flower. As she stepped closer to them, it became clear they were releasing the heavenly aroma, so she knelt down. She gently grasped the stem of the blue one, pulling it slightly closer to her nose so she could inhale deeply. When the scent poured into her nose, a warm feeling moved through her chest that made her legs wobble beneath her.

Then a twig snapped behind her, and she was made all at once cold by the sound of a low, rumbling growl. Footsteps crunched the grass as whatever it was drew closer, and Rey’s trembling hand reached for her blaster. The growling turned into a loud, guttural snarl, so Rey blew out a breath and turned swiftly. She caught a quick glance of grey and white before she fired at the creature.

The blast hit it right in its furry grey chest, but it didn’t seem to feel it. She tried to fire another blast, but the creature had closed in. So the only thing she could do was raise her arms and try to protect whatever parts of her she could from the sharp teeth and claws.

But she heard a crack followed by a whimper as the creature was flung backward and crashed into a nearby tree. Her eyes bugged and she looked around, trying to see what might have caused the creature to fly away like that, but she saw nothing and no one. She shakily climbed to her feet and continued to look around, not entirely convinced she was alone.

The creature’s twitching legs grabbed her attention, and as she looked at it, she had to cover her mouth at the sight of its ribs poking clean through its skin, staining its white underbelly red. Its whimpers had only grown more pitiful, and despite it trying to kill her, her chest stung with sympathy.

She stepped up to it and aimed her blaster square at its head. After the third shot, the whimpering stopped, and she was able to take a good look at the creature. It wasn’t terribly big, but it had a good bit of meat on its bones, more than enough to feed both her and Poe. She was ready to hoist it up and carry it back to camp, but the scent of the flower drew her in again.

She knew it would eventually lose its scent if she picked it, but she wanted to have it with her at least for a little while, so she plucked it and held it up to her nose again. The smell was just as relaxing as it had been the first time.

The sound of more footsteps had her quickly spinning around, but she was relieved to see Poe standing next to the felled creature.  
  
”Hey,” he said. “I heard growling, but I guess you didn’t need help.”

She slid the flower into her pocket, and it was only then that she remembered that the stuffed cat was still there. She had tried to clean the blood off of it while she was confined to the barracks, but it was permanently stained brown.

“How’d you manage this?” he asked, pointing at the creature’s exposed ribs.

“I didn’t.”

He looked confused. “What do you mean you didn’t?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know, Dameron. The thing was about to pounce, and then it was wrapped around the tree. I sure as hell didn’t do it.”

His eyes moved between her and the creature before they settled on her, but she could see calculation behind his gaze. She didn’t like it.

“All right,” he said. “Well, help me carry this thing back to camp.”

She did as she was asked and picked up the creature by its back legs while Poe took the front. They lugged the creature back to the fire that Poe had gotten started while she was gone.

After they dropped it, Poe asked, “You wanna prep some roasting sticks or clean the meat?”

The thought of carving up the creature made her stomach lurch, so she answered, “Sticks.”

Poe didn’t seem bothered and set immediately to work. After she gathered the branches and started carving at them, she was forced to move away from Poe. The smell of the creature’s corpse was intolerable. She’d managed to carve out half a dozen sharp sticks when the crunching of grass and twigs grabbed her attention.

She looked up in time to see a small, orange and white droid come rolling into the clearing, beeping wildly. Poe’s knife dropped from his hand and he rushed to the droid’s side.  
  
”BB-8! Man, am I glad to see you.”

BB-8 beeped cheerfully and its round body rolled a circle around Poe as its half-circle head moved back and forth. It stopped in front of Poe again and Rey saw a small slot on its body open up.

Poe blew out a breath. “Good work, BB-8. Send out a distress signal to the Republic, and we’ll get that back to Luke.”

A small, black circle on BB-8’s head glowed red and the droid released a deeper toned beep.

“Why not?” Poe asked.

More beeps followed, and Poe answered, “Tracker? Yeah, I know. I’ll turn it off. Just give me-”

BB-8 interrupted with more beeps, and Poe’s face paled slightly. He slowly turned his head toward Rey, and the discomfort in his eyes was matched only by her own.

“What?” she asked.

He looked back at BB-8 and asked, “Are you sure?”

More beeps.

“Where is it?”

Even more beeps, followed by BB-8 rolling closer to Rey. She watched as the black spot on its head glowed white and a light blue scanning ray shot out and moved up and down her body.

Her heart was pounding by now, and she shakily asked, “Dameron. What’s going on?”

BB-8 stopped him from answering right away when it beeped again and rolled back toward him. Poe looked more devastated than she’d ever seen him when he turned to her.

“You’ve got a tracker on you, Rey.”

All of her limbs felt, at once, fifty pounds heavier. Where? She wasn’t wearing the armor anymore, and it couldn’t be the weapons because Poe had them, too. A horrible chill ran through her body as she figured it out, but she had to know the location. So she met Poe’s eyes, asking the question with her expression.

“It’s in your eye,” he said. “The left one.”

Her stomach lurched as Poe looked back at BB-8 and said, “Can you shut it off?”

BB-8 beeped in response, and Poe immediately bit back, “Come on! There’s gotta be something you can do!”

The droid beeped again, but Rey had already turned away. Poe’s pleas became little more than background noise as Rey looked down at the knife in her hand. In that knife’s reflective sheen, she saw Captain Phasma, Kylo Ren, and a grey room with blinding lights shining down from the ceiling. She saw herself in the center of that room, trapped inside and screaming at the blood covering her hands. She picked up one of the sticks she'd been sharpening and shoved it between her teeth. If blood had to stain her hands, let it be her own.

She raised the blade and, with a perfectly still hand, sunk it into her eye socket. Warm blood poured down the side of her face as she sliced at the thin line of tissue that attached her eye to her head. The pain was excruciating, but she bit down on the stick as hard as she could, reminding herself that re-education would be far more painful than this could ever be.

“Rey!” Poe exclaimed. “What the hell are you doing?”

Her eye dropped from one hand and the knife from the other as she looked up at him, only barely catching a glimpse before the blood loss and the pain drained her consciousness.


	3. Chapter 3

The pain woke her. The sharp, gut-wrenching pain that seemed to move through her entire head as she opened her remaining eye. The lack of peripheral vision was immediately disorienting, and she found herself blinking over and over as her mind tried to make sense of the situation.

She caught a glimpse of Poe, sitting next to the fire and turning a few pieces of meat that were impaled by the stakes she’d made. She felt a softness beneath her, and when she moved her hand, grey and white fur slid between her fingers. That hand raised and she found a piece of cloth wrapped around her head and covering her empty eye socket. One look at the bottom of Poe’s shirt showed her where the cloth had come from.

Her movement was noticed by Poe who abandoned the food and went to her side.

“Rey?” he said, sounding genuinely worried. “How are you feeling?”

She began to shakily sit up. “Fine, as long as you tell me you got rid of that tracker.”

He looked relieved. “Yeah, no worries. I told BB-8 to take that thing as far away as he could. I’ll have him send out the distress signal when he gets back.”

Smart, Rey thought to herself. The tracker being so far away might throw off the First Order, but discomfort was still picking at her mind. If they’d been able to track her all this time, why hadn’t they come for her yet?

“What were you thinking?” Poe asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.

She was annoyed by the obvious question but still answered, “I was thinking that I didn’t want the First Order to be able to track me wherever I go.”

“We could have figured something else out,” he rebutted. “What if you get an infection? We don’t have any medicine out here.”

She shrugged. “Then I get an infection.”

He sighed and he shook his head, utter bewilderment on his face. “You really don’t care if you die, do you? I don’t know what re-education is, but it can’t be worse than dying.”

“You’d like to think so, wouldn’t you?” she said spitefully.

Her voice came out louder than she’d meant it to, and she flinched as her head throbbed. He took a step closer, but when he reached for her, she slapped his hand away.

She glared at him and said, “Did you never wonder where the First Order gets its soldiers?”

She was getting light-headed, so she leaned her back against a log that Poe must have dragged over while she was sleeping. Meanwhile, Poe sat on a nearby rock, curiosity painting his face.

“Your Republic might be on top,” she said. “But there are still plenty of places that are out of its reach, like the Outer Rim. Slavery is still legal out there.”

Poe’s face went pale. “You were a slave?”

She nodded. “I might have even had parents. A lot of us did, and they gave us up willingly. If Phasma was telling the truth, we also __went__ willingly.”

“Why?” he asked, looking floored.

“The Resistance,” she answered. “The First Order comes in and convinces the slaves that the only reason the Republic hasn’t come to free them is that the Resistance is stopping them. Then the First Order gives some pretty speeches about how they plan on stopping the Resistance. I’d imagine most children and young people jump at the opportunity to free their families from slavery. Of course, once the First Order has you, they stop lying.”

Poe’s eyes darted about the ground for a few seconds. “But… if the Stormtroopers know that, why don’t they rebel? Go back to their families.”

“Because we don’t know our families,” she said, her voice cracking so pitifully that she wanted to kick herself. “We’re not even supposed to know how we wound up with the First Order. That’s the first step of re-education. They purge your mind of everything that happened before you went to them.”

Her eye started to mist over, so she looked away from him. “And that’s the easy part.”

She willed herself to hold back the tears. She wasn’t able to weep for FN-2199, so she wasn’t about to let herself weep over this. Poe was still looking, wide-eyed, at her with expectation on his face. She couldn’t look at him, but she blew out a breath and managed to continue.

“They hook you up to this machine that can read your facial expressions,” she said flatly. “Then they start bringing in tiny animals, usually babies, and a droid kills them, slowly, as painfully as possible. You can’t close your eyes or cover your ears to keep from hearing the poor things scream. If you do, you get electrocuted. If you make a single facial expression, you get electrocuted. If you try to escape, you get electrocuted. I assume you get the idea.”

He didn’t say anything.

“And then,” she went on. “Once you don’t flinch at the animals, they move on to children. They don’t kill the children, of course. The First Order is many things, but it’s not wasteful. They just torture the children. Usually with torches. And if you don’t turn into the emotionless drone that they want, you do one of two things. You become really good at faking or you disappear into yourself so that you don’t have to feel anything.”

Poe’s sympathy was potent when he said, “You disappeared.”

“I had to.”

He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “But something brought you back. What was it?”

Her hand slid into her pocket, bypassed the now crushed flower, and grasped tightly to the stuffed cat.

“FN-2199,” she answered. “I don’t know how he did it, but he made it through re-education with a damn sense of humor. He was always trying to make me smile or laugh. He never managed it.”

Talking about him only forced Rey to relive the moment he died, and it hurt just as much now as it did then.

“It all flooded back after he was killed,” she said as she pulled the stuffed cat from her pocket. “Everything I wasn’t supposed to feel anymore. I couldn’t have stopped it even if I’d tried to. So when I saw that little girl… ”

Poe’s eyes had fallen on the stuffed cat, but they didn’t stay there long. They moved up to Rey’s remaining eye as he said, “You didn’t shoot the townspeople. That’s what Ren was talking about.”

She nodded. “And disobedience is the one thing the First Order won’t tolerate. You get punished if you make mistakes or fail while following orders, but only disobedience gets you sent back to re-education. And the second time, they want to make damn sure you don’t disobey again.”

The glare from before returned to her eye, and anger boiled in her chest as she said, “The second time, there’s no droid. They bring __you__ the animals and an assortment of tools, and the whole cycle plays out the same way… until you get to the child. At that point, their desire to break you outweighs the usefulness of the child.”

Despite her attempts to stop it, a tear leaked from her eye. “So you tell me. Is being forced to torture a child to death worse than dying?”

But he didn’t say anything. From the look on his face, she wasn’t sure he could.

The smell of burning meat drifted into her nostrils, and Poe apparently smelled it too since he spun around to pull their dinner away from the fire. He took two of the skewers and impaled them in the ground right next to her.

As he backed away, he said, “If I promise that I won’t let them take you back, will you stop talking about killing yourself?”

“And what makes you think you can stop them?” she asked sincerely. “Kylo Ren has more power than you can possibly imagine.”

“So does Luke Skywalker.”

“Well, then wouldn’t _he_ be the one protecting me, not you?”

He shrugged. “Maybe. But who’s gonna get you to Luke Skywalker?”

He pointed at himself with both of his thumbs as he flashed a smirk, and despite how difficult the conversation had just been, she felt the same warmth she’d felt when she smelled the flower.

Poe’s smirk turned to a gentle smile and he said, “You should smile more often, Rey. It looks good on you.”

Smile? She hadn’t even realized she was doing it. She hadn’t done it once since re-education, so the sensation was completely foreign.

“It does?”

He nodded. “Maybe that’s why your buddy always tried so hard to make you smile.”

FN-2199. She wanted so badly to know his real name. Maybe she could give him one, just like Poe had given her one. FN. Finn. His name was Finn. And every time she felt that warm feeling, she would try to smile. Not for herself. Not for Poe. For Finn.

She heard a familiar beeping, followed by BB-8 rolling back into camp. She didn’t miss the smears of what was probably her blood on the little droid’s body. BB-8 beeped at Poe a few times, and Poe patted its head.

“Good work, buddy,” Poe said. “Send out the distress signal as soon as you can. Rey needs to see a doctor.”

BB-8 beeped again and Poe knelt to pick up what Rey could now see was a cup made of thick leaves and bones, woven together with small vines. He brought it over to her, and she saw it was filled with water.

She took it from him, and said, “Thank you.”

He nodded and walked back to where he’d been. Her eyes followed him and she caught a glimpse of another, larger container that was built in a similar way, except he’d used animal skin instead of leaves. As she took a drink of the water, she thought back to what she’d said to him right before she went off to go hunting.

“I’m sorry, Poe,” she said softly.

His eyebrows raised. “Oh, so I’m ‘Poe’ now?”

Her cheeks burned. “I guess so.”

He grinned and picked up another cup before moving to sit on the rock he’d sat on earlier.

“What are you sorry for?”

She looked at her own cup. “For being a hard ass. You obviously know what you’re doing out here, and I don’t.”

He shrugged. “You hunted down dinner, didn’t you?”

Did I? She wondered. She definitely finished the creature off, but something else had thrown it against the tree. She hadn’t wanted to think about it, but the more she did, the more certain she became that it was some sort of creature that could cloak itself. It was the only explanation she could think of.

But the smell of the meat quickly pulled her out of those thoughts and she reached for one of the skewers Poe had given her. She sunk her teeth into the meat, which was far more tender than she’d expected it to be. It was slightly bland, but she hardly cared.

“Yeah,” she answered. “I suppose I did.”

He smiled and reached for one of his own skewers. They both tore into their own portions of the dinner until all of their skewers were picked clean and all of their water drained. Poe then gathered all of the skewers and picked up the makeshift water pail.

“Get some more rest, Rey,” he said. “I’ll take the first watch. I think we’re gonna need one now that BB-8 has started sending out the distress signal.”

Confused, she said, “I thought you said only the Republic would be able to pick it up.”

“The First Order put a tracker in your eye. I’m not putting anything past them.”

“Good point,” she said, shifting so that she was lying back on the fur. “But I don’t know how well I’m gonna sleep.”

She pointed at her empty eye socket, and Poe chuckled.

“Well,” he said with a jovial tone, “that’s your own fault. I didn’t tell you to cut your eyeball out.”

This time, when she smiled, she felt it, and her first instinct was to banish it from her face. But she let it come back and held it there as she closed her eye. She wasn’t expecting to sleep, but the fire was warm and the fur soft, so she didn’t mind trying.

*****

Grey walls surrounded her and lights shone down on her from the ceiling above. Both of her wrists were held by restraints, and she could hear, beyond a door, Phasma and Kylo Ren talking about her upcoming re-education. Her stomach was in knots, and she pointlessly tugged at the restraints while a Stormtrooper stood by with the key. She pleaded with him to free her, offered him anything he wanted if he would save her from this. He shook his head, keeping to his post like a good soldier.

_Free yourself._

The voice was barely above a whisper, but it was warm, gentle even.

_Free yourself._

She didn’t understand. How was she meant to do that? The key was well out of her reach.

_Remember the forest._

Her mind swam with images. An image of the creature lunging at her. An image of it flying backward and slamming into the tree. The images played over and over again until her head was throbbing.

_Remember the forest, and free yourself._

Her chest ached from how fiercely her heart was pounding. Remember the forest, it said. Was it truly her? Did she fling that creature against the tree? But how? It wasn’t possible.

_Free yourself._

Her arms felt like they were weighed down by lead, but she still shakily raised one of them. She held it out toward the Stormtrooper and willed the key to come to her. If she could fling something away, perhaps she could also pull something in. Her eye zeroed in on the key, and she saw it twitch.

A little more. If she could pull it a little harder, she could free it. She tried again, her head throbbing harder from the strain. This time, the key rose a few inches and came off of the trooper’s belt.

Her relief was swiftly interrupted by a loud voice shouting, “Rey!”

That wasn’t the same voice. No, wait. That was-  
  
”Rey! Come on! Wake up!”

Her eye flew open and fell on Poe’s frantic face.

“Do you have any idea what you’re doing right now?” he asked.

With a furrowed brow, she sat up, only to almost fall back over when she saw not only BB-8 but also the water pail, both cups, Poe’s weapons, and all of the stakes floating a few feet in the air. Fear shot through her, and everything instantly crashed to the ground. She thought her eye might pop out of her skull to join the other one, and her chest ached again as she started hyperventilating.

Poe was kneeling in front of her in an instant, and he took both of her shoulders gently.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Easy. You’re okay.”

She darted her gaze around the camp, checking to make sure nothing else was floating. Poe’s hands were warm when he cupped her face and turned her head so she was facing him, but she couldn’t stop her eye from wandering.

“Look at me.”

She reluctantly did as she was told, and when she did, her breathing almost instantly slowed.

His voice was soothing when he said, “It’s gonna be all right.”

She took a few more seconds to let her breathing return to normal, and once it did, she glanced around the camp again.

As she raised her shaky hands to lightly grasp Poe’s wrists, she asked, “What was that?”

Poe was positively beaming when he answered, “_That_, __Rey, was the Force.”

She knocked his hands away from her face. “Don’t be an idiot. I’ve never used the Force in my life.”

“Yeah, you have,” he rebutted, motioning toward the animal carcass on the other side of the camp. “And for all you know, you could have been using it before you went to the First Order.”

No matter how much sense it made, her mind couldn’t accept it. That she, of all people, would be Force-sensitive was completely outside the realm of what she ever believed to be possible.

“I can’t…” she said, unable to finish the sentence.

“I know,” he answered. “This is a lot to take in, but I’ve seen Luke and his students use the Force, so I know it when I see it.”

She shook her head, knowing what he was saying was probably true, but still not wanting to accept it. From what memory she had left, the Force had been nothing but a tool used to cause pain to her and the other soldiers. 

“We definitely need to get you to Luke,” Poe said. “He can help you learn to control it.”

Control it? That thought only frightened her more.

“Why would I-”

A sound cut her off, one that Poe evidently hadn’t heard. BB-8 was still behind him and they were supposed to be alone, so whose footsteps were those?

“Rey?” Poe said. “What’s-”

She raised a hand to silence him while the other one slid down to grasp her blaster. BB-8 starting to beep frantically let her know she was right. The footsteps had come from behind her, so she swiftly turned to face whoever it was. She saw a flash of white, just as she had on the starship. Her blaster was aimed square at the trooper, but the voice of the woman she’d killed rung through her ears. Her hand shook wildly as she pulled the trigger…

And she missed. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d missed. The trooper she’d shot at, responded by whipping her on the right side of her face with his own blaster. She fell to the ground, only to be grabbed by two pairs of hands and hoisted back up. Looking up, she saw at least two other troopers had joined the first.

From behind her, she heard Poe grunt, and when the troopers turned her, all of the air was expelled from her lungs at the sight of at least half a dozen more troopers, spear-headed by none other than Captain Phasma. She had Poe pinned on his stomach with one of his arms twisted behind his back. Meanwhile, one of the troopers had picked up BB-8, who was frantically trying to escape.

Phasma glanced at the trooper and said, “Find that map. I don’t care if you have to take that droid apart piece by piece.”

Rey’s teeth ground as Phasma then dragged Poe to his feet and passed him off to three of the troopers behind her. He momentarily struggled, but they put a stop to that quickly by kicking him to his knees and clubbing him over the head with a blaster.

Phasma then stepped up to Rey, and the troopers that had been holding her backed away as the Captain tightly grasped Rey by her neck and slammed her against a nearby tree. Rey grunted from the pain, but she didn’t attempt to resist. She knew better.

“I told Ren that you had probably cut your tracker out, but he didn’t listen,” Phasma said. “He didn’t think you were strong enough, but I knew you were. I’ve always known how strong you are, even if you and Ren never believed it. If I’d had my way, you’d have been sent for another round of re-education months ago.”

Phasma then sighed in annoyance and went on, “Well, at least his little plan worked.”

Rey’s eye widened and her hands clenched into fists.

Phasma’s head cocked slightly to the side. “Surely you didn’t think your easy escape was a result of your own skill. You’re still little more than a child, RA-2187, and it’s time you remembered that.”

Where the defiance came from, Rey wasn’t sure, but she growled, “My name is Rey.”

Phasma leaned in, her silver helmet only a few inches from Rey’s face. “You are expendable. Cannon fodder. A replaceable pawn. And you’ll remember that, too.”

Phasma made a hand signal at the troopers behind her. Rey’s stomach tightened when one of the troopers aimed a blaster at Poe’s head while two other troopers held his arms tightly. Using her monstrous strength, Phasma forced Rey away from the tree and kicked her to her knees in front of Poe. The troopers from before took Rey’s arms again, while Phasma grasped Rey by her hair, forcing her to look.

“Is he the one who gave you that name?” Phasma asked tauntingly.

Rey didn’t answer. She couldn’t answer. All she could do was stare at Poe in utter desperation. No. Please, no. 

“Good,” Phasma said, her question answered by Rey’s silence. “Pay attention, RA-2187. This is the first step in your re-education.”

BB-8 began to beep frantically, and Rey’s eye was filling with tears. No. Not again. Not again!

But the trooper lowered the blaster, aiming it at Poe’s leg. The beam ripped through Poe’s flesh, and he released a gut-wrenching scream that pushed the tears out of Rey’s eye. Stop! Stop it! No more!

His other leg was the next target, and she heard the crack of the blast shattering his femur right before he screamed again, much louder this time. She wasn't in the grey room. There was no machine electrocuting her. But she was in no less pain now than she'd been then. In that single scream, she could hear every creature they'd tortured and every wound they'd inflicted on the children to try to break her, maker her their slave. But she wasn't broken. Phasma knew that. That's why she was doing this.

The blaster pointed at Poe’s arm next, and Rey’s desperation began to turn to anger.

_Who does Phasma think she is? Who do _any_ of them think they are? I broke away, so they can too. But they won’t, will they? They’re just gonna follow her, like they always have._

__Free yourself__, the voice had said. No. Not herself. Poe. She had to save Poe.

The stakes raised off the ground again right as the third blast tore through Poe’s arm and splattered his blood on her face. His scream only made Rey’s anger boil hotter.

“Captain?” came the voice of one of the male troopers.

A quick glance around the camp showed that the stakes were not the only things floating anymore. Every loose item in the camp was rising off of the ground. Rocks, sticks, and even the log Rey had been leaning on earlier.

Phasma let go of Rey’s hair and called out, “Move!”

But it was too late. The troopers holding onto Poe and Rey, as well as all of the others, were flung away, rag-dolling through the air just as the creature had. Rey heard the crunch of a few of them hitting trees, but she couldn’t be bothered to care. She snatched one of the rocks that was floating nearby and flung it up, smashing it into Phasma’s helmet and knocking it clean off of her head. 

With her other hand, Rey went for her taser and swiftly shoved it right into Phasma’s neck. The Captain’s body erupted in convulsions while Rey used her other hand to snatch the rifle-style blaster from her belt.

After Phasma hit the ground, Rey’s only remaining worry was Poe, so she went to him as some of the stunned troopers around her began to climb to their feet. BB-8 rolled up to her, beeping wildly, and with him out of harm’s way, she rushed for the closest trooper, firing a shot at his neck.

It was so easy, easier than she’d ever imagined it could be. Why had she never fought back before? Why had she let herself be kowtowed for so long? It didn’t matter. Never again.

She disappeared into the battle, running on instinct and adrenaline until a blast ripping through her exposed leg sent her down to one knee. Only three troopers were left standing, and two of them were helping Phasma to her feet while the third limped up to Rey. She tried to aim at him, but he fired at her hand, causing the blaster to fall into the dirt.

“Enough!” Phasma shouted. “Kill her! Kill them both!”

The trooper raised his blaster so that it was aimed squarely at Rey’s head, but she wasn’t afraid. Even if these were her last moments, she wouldn’t give them that control over her ever again. So she glared directly into Phasma's icy blue eyes and didn’t even flinch when the trooper pulled the trigger.

But she felt nothing and her vision didn’t go dark. She looked up at the trooper, only to see the beam from his blaster caught in the chamber. The blaster shook wildly before it lurched from his hand and the beam was sent flying off into the sky.

Then the trooper was in the air, hurling toward Phasma and the others. His body crashed into them, knocking them all to the ground.

Footsteps from behind her had Rey turning her head, and she was met with a man she didn’t recognize. He had a great grey and brown beard, piercing blue eyes, and he wore white and grey robes that stretched all the way to the ground.

He tossed the blaster he’d taken from the trooper and said, “Get up.”

He grasped her upper arm and yanked her to her feet. Her injured leg screamed at her, but she managed to stay standing by gripping his arm in return.

“Kylo Ren is coming,” he told her. “Get to the ship.”

He then released her arm and started walking toward Phasma and the others. She looked around and was blown away by the sight of a giant, furry creature walking on two legs and carrying the injured Poe out of the clearing. It was walking in the direction of several lights that were shining through the trees. How lost in the battle had she been to not hear the ship or see those lights?

She limped after the creature as another man came rushing toward her. He looked a little older than the man who had saved her, but he was beardless with completely grey hair.

“Hey, kid,” he said as he took her arm. “We came as soon as we got the signal, but this place really is at the ass-end of nowhere, isn’t it?”

She didn’t know what to say, so she simply let him lead her toward the lights. When they made it to the much larger clearing that the ship was parked in, her mouth hung agape at the sight of it. She’d seen projections of this ship dozens of times. It was always described as the prized ship of the Resistance.

“The Millennium Falcon,” she said under her breath.

One name was inextricably linked with that ship, and with the appearance of the furry bipedal creature, Rey was certain she was being half-carried to the ship by Han Solo.

They made it to the ship’s ramp, and the furry creature, no, Chewbacca, his name was Chewbacca, rushed to help Han carry her the rest of the way. They brought her to a room with two medical droids where Poe was lying on a bed, an oxygen mask over his face. One of the droids was already working on his injuries while BB-8 sat by.

Han and Chewbacca placed Rey on another bed next to the second droid, who proceeded to place a similar mask over her face. Before she lost consciousness, she barely caught a glimpse of the robed man stepping into the room.

She’d never seen him before today, but his name was on her lips as her vision went dark.

_Luke Skywalker._


	4. Chapter 4

When Rey awoke, she felt worse than she had after her very first day of training. Every muscle was stiff and sore, and every movement brought with it stinging pain. She made herself sit up and she was beyond relieved to see Poe not only awake but flashing that cocky grin of his. He was missing his shirt, the legs of his pants had been cut off, and all of his wounds were wrapped in white bandages

“Hey,” he said, his voice sounding slightly haggard.

It was probably from all of the screaming he did, and her chest stung at the thought. She let her legs hang over the side of the bed and pressed both of her palms into the mattress as she stared at the floor.

“I’m sorry, Poe.”

“What are you apologizing for _now_?”

She swallowed. “Phasma did that to you because of me.”

There was a brief pause before Poe said, “Rey, look at me.”

She didn’t want to, but she wasn’t about to deny him and raised her eye to meet his.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said.

She shook her head. “It was. Kylo Ren knew I was going to break you out. It was what he wanted. And Phasma knew she’d be able to use you to try to break me. I played right into their hands.”

“And?” he responded. “You did the best you could, and you held them off until Luke got there. How much more are you expecting of yourself? You’re not a god.”

She hung her head again, but she didn’t have a rebuttal. The only thing she knew was that she hadn’t wanted Poe to get hurt like that.

“Rey.”

She looked at him again, and his warm smile made her chest burn.

“You were incredible, back there,” he said. “Seriously. So don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“_Incredible_,” came another, lower-pitched voice. “That’s a word for it, I suppose.”

Rey turned and was met with the same blue eyes she’d seen on Jakku. He was standing in the doorway, arms crossed and looking very sour-faced.

“I think the better phrase would be _dumb luck.”_

Rey was immediately put off by his condescending tone and said, “Maybe if you’d been a little more careful with your map, Skywalker, then Poe and I wouldn’t have been put in that situation in the first place.”

Luke shrugged and stepped into the room. “But then you’d still be with the First Order, wouldn’t you?”

She didn’t have a response to that and stayed silent while Luke pulled up a chair and sat between the two beds. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and looked at Poe.

“I’m sorry about this, Poe,” he said. “But the map you had was a fake.”

Poe didn’t look even remotely bothered and after a brief moment of thought, he answered, “You think we have a traitor.”

Luke nodded. “Leia has suspected it for a while, but this confirms it. Someone’s been feeding the First Order information.”

Luke then turned his gaze on Rey.

“Poe told me everything that you told him about the First Order,” he said. “But do you have any idea who might be feeding this information?”

She wished she could tell him yes, but all she could say was, “No. I’m- I mean, I _was_ just a Stormtrooper. We were told what we needed to know and nothing more. Anything else you had to overhear, and not many of us were in any hurry to actively eavesdrop on Phasma or Kylo Ren.”

Luke looked slightly dejected, but he didn’t press the matter further.

“Well, then I have another question for you, Rey,” he said with a more gentle tone. “If we could find out who your family is, would you want to go back to them?”

She felt as if Luke had dropped a boulder on her chest. The thought of ever finding out who she was or who her family was had never once crossed her mind. You learned quickly to abandon such pipe dreams after re-education. The more she thought about it, the more anxious she felt until she shook her head.

“There’s no point.”

Poe looked at her and repeated, “No point?”

“Yes, Poe,” she said curtly. “It’s not just that I don’t know them, they’re not gonna know _me_. If they can be found, it will be easier for them if they just think I’m dead.”

Poe looked like he was gonna respond, but Luke raised a hand to stop him. Luke then stood and turned to Rey, eyes full of understanding.

“Things were easier when I thought my father had been killed by Darth Vader,” he said. “But if I hadn’t been told the truth, I might not have tried to redeem my father and _he_ might not have defeated Darth Sidius.”

Once again, Rey didn’t have a response.

Luke took a step closer, his eyes still free of judgment when he went on, “Easier is not always better, Rey. That’s a lesson you’ll have to learn quickly if you want me to teach you how to use the Force properly.”

Rey’s eyebrows narrowed. “And what makes you think I want you to teach me anything?”

Luke gave a knowing smile. “Because I felt your thoughts when we passed through Jakku’s atmosphere. You knew then that the Force was your best means of defense, and you know that now.”

Rey could already tell that the man was going to be insufferable with his apparent ability to sense her feelings. It was just as discomforting when he did it as it was when Kylo Ren did it. But one thing had to be discussed before she would agree.

“I’ve heard Kylo Ren talk about how he’s killed his emotions in order to increase his power,” Rey said. “I’m not doing that. I won’t disappear again.”

She instinctively glanced at Poe, and his lips curled into a pleased grin.

Luke smiled as well and said, “Good. The Jedi’s greatest folly was telling my father he had to kill his emotions. Had they not done that, he might not have become their downfall.”

His expression turned serious, however, when he went on, “But you will face a great challenge. The Dark Side can play off of your emotions to lure you in, so you will have to learn the Force while also resisting the Dark Side’s pull. So you tell me right now if you think you can’t handle that.”

The Dark Side. She knew of it from Kylo Ren. The way he talked about it, the Dark Side was the only true path to enlightenment. But if enlightenment led her down a path where she would order the torture of children, she decided she’d rather remain ignorant.

“I can handle it,” she said. “I won’t be like Kylo Ren. Ever.”

At the repetition of the name, Luke’s eyes darkened a bit and he looked away. She was confused by his reaction, but not enough to question him about it.

His lips trembled slightly when he said, “Speaking of Ren. Tell me, have you ever seen his face?”

She shook her head. “He never allowed it. I think the only person who is allowed to see him unmasked is Phasma.”

Luke hummed. “I see.”

He then turned to head for the door. He stopped part-way and looked at Rey as he said, “We’ll begin your training after you’ve recovered. I think we can manage a new eye, as well, if you want one.”

She had to admit it was an attractive idea. Not having peripheral vision had not stopped being disorienting, yet. So she nodded in agreement as Luke went to leave the room.

“Hang on, Luke,” Poe said.

Luke turned to look at him, and Poe asked, “I know it’s strictly need-to-know, but I think after what me and Rey went through, I _do_ need to know. Where does the actual map lead?”

Luke crossed his arms. “I’m afraid you’re going to be disappointed, Poe, but as far as we can tell it’s just a cave on the planet Bal’demnic.”

Rey cocked her head slightly to the side. “A cave? That’s it?”

She heard Poe shift in his bed, and when she turned to him, his bandaged legs were hanging over the side.

“It can’t be,” Poe said. “There’s gotta be something in there.”

Luke nodded. “I agree, but whatever it is, we can’t find it. But the First Order wants it, so that means we have to keep it away from them.”

Rey thought long and hard, trying to remember if there was a single time Kylo Ren or Phasma mentioned a cave. But nothing came to her. She didn’t like the idea that there might be something in that cave that could make Kylo Ren stronger. He was already a monster.

Luke grabbed her attention by saying, “Relax, Rey. As long as we have the map, the First Order isn’t getting to that cave.”

_As long as you have it. With a traitor within the Republic, it’s possible you won’t have it for much longer_. She didn’t bother saying these things out loud, not wanting to cause an argument, but the thoughts would likely pick at her mind until the traitor was found.

“We’ll be docking soon,” Luke said. “Jemma will help you get settled in, Rey. She’ll be waiting outside of the ship.”

He left the room, closing the door behind him.

*****

It wasn’t until she was limping out of the ship on crutches that Rey realized she had no idea what this Jemma person even looked like. Luckily, the woman approached on her own, and Rey saw she was wearing simple clothing and had the brightest green eyes she’d ever seen. Her hair was brown and tied into a sloppy bun and she flashed a wide, toothy smile.

“Hello, Rey,” she said cheerfully. “Master Skywalker has asked that I show you around.”

Jemma made a hand motion and Rey saw another woman come forward pushing a wheelchair. As Rey made her way to the chair, she saw four men walk by carrying Poe on a stretcher, BB-8 rolling behind them. Poe met her eyes for only a second and waved at her, a grin on his face. She raised her hand to wave back, but he was gone far too quickly, taken into the large building the ship had docked next to.   
  
She sat in the chair and looked around as Jemma passed the crutches to the other woman. As Jemma started pushing her toward the building, Rey realized it was a docking port. Ships were flying in and out while she could see people through the glass windows running around inside. The closer she came to the building, the more nervous she became. Up until recently, she’d seen all of these people as an enemy. How would they react to her?

But as Jemma pushed her through the door, she found no one paid her one bit of attention. They were all too busy with their own lives, and Rey had to admit she was grateful.

“This is the most popular port in Republic space,” Jemma explained. “It’s also the port that houses the vast majority of the Republic’s military vessels. So this is where Poe spends most of his time.”

Rey glanced back at Jemma, questioning her with her eyes. Jemma smiled knowingly.

“You looked awfully disappointed when he was taken away,” she said with a wink.

Rey looked away, glad that her skin would not allow the heat in her cheeks to show. Jemma pushed her straight through the building and out into a long, open walkway that made Rey’s mouth hang agape.

It was paved with white panels and ten foot long planters of green foliage were lined up along the sides, benches between each one. Past the foliage, Rey could see out over the giant city beneath her. Cars flew through the air, straight over the rooftops, and Rey couldn’t help feeling daunted. She didn’t know anything about her life before, but she was certain she’d never seen anything like this city.

In the very center of the walkway sat a statue of what Rey could only assume was a Jedi. He was holding a lightsaber straight up over his head with both hands while a young woman and a young man stood to his right and left respectively. As Jemma wheeled her closer, Rey was able to see a plaque that let her know the statue was of none other than young Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, and Han Solo. She couldn’t imagine how strange it had to be to have statues built of you while you were still alive.

Jemma pushed her along, through a couple more buildings until they reached a smaller, simpler one that was guarded by two young people, a man and a woman, who were dressed in robes similar to the ones Luke had been wearing. They had lightsabers on their belts and serious scowls on their faces.

“Eva, Pierce,” Jemma greeted warmly. “Your Master has brought a new recruit.”

Pierce’s heavy gaze bore down on Rey when he said, “Yes. The Stormtrooper. We’ve prepared a room for her. Upstairs. Last room on the right.”

If he’d been trying to hide his disdain, he’d failed, but Rey tried not to let it bother her. She had to seem suspicious at the very least. Jemma pushed Rey past the two trainees, and the wheels of the chair retracted before a gravitational field shot out from under it and it levitated up the stairs.

But Jemma didn’t take her to the bedroom. Instead, they bypassed a large room where a blonde-haired young man was standing before a group of half-a-dozen children. The children’s eyes were covered and they all held small lightsabers as tiny droids shot beams at them and they attempted to block them.

Jemma brought Rey to another medical wing, where ten more advanced-looking medical droids stood by. She wheeled Rey up to one of the beds and bid her climb up. Rey did as she was told and after she was comfortable, Jemma pulled up a rolling chair.

She motioned toward the bandage covering Rey’s empty eye socket and asked, “May I?”

Rey couldn’t pretend that the injury being exposed didn’t bother her, but she nodded anyway. Jemma was gentle when she slowly unwrapped the bandage from Rey’s head and set it to the side. The cool air flowing into the empty socket was almost as discomforting as Jemma’s eyes scanning over it.

“I’m sorry about this, Rey,” Jemma said. “But if I’m going to have you an eye made, I need to see what I’m dealing with, so I have to take a closer look.”

Rey’s stomach turned, but she nodded again. The sooner Jemma got on with it, the sooner it would be over with. Jemma plucked a small flashlight out of her pocket and leaned forward, gingerly pulling the skin around the socket back so she could shine the light into it. After a couple of seconds, she pulled back, looking pleased as she put the flashlight away.

“It’s a very clean cut,” Jemma said. “Impressive considering the pain. You’re made of stern stuff, Rey.”

Rey scoffed. “No, I’m not. I’m only here because I got scared and ran.”

“Well, I should think so,” Jemma said matter-of-factly. “Master Luke updated me on the situation. I can’t imagine living my life being called RA-2187. Taking a person’s name is one of the worst forms of dehumanization.”

The sound of her number made Rey shiver, and she said, “Well, I have a name now.”

It came out more curt than she’d meant it to, but Jemma just smiled.

“I understand,” she said. “I’m sorry. I won’t use that number again.”

She then went to a nearby door and pulled out a pair of crutches. She held them out to Rey and pushed the wheelchair out of the way.

“Come with me,” Jemma said, “I’ll show you where the mess hall is. Dinner should be starting soon.”

Rey shook her head. “Thanks, but no. I’m not hungry right now. I’ll find it later.”

Jemma looked like she wanted to argue, but she said nothing and reached into her other pocket.  
  
”Very well, then,” she said as she held her hand out to Rey, giving her a communicator.  
  
The small earpiece sat next to the silver wrist band that held the control panel.

“There are two contacts saved to it already,” Jemma told her. “The first is Master Luke’s and the second is Poe’s. You may, as of tomorrow, have General Organa’s added to it as well.”

As Rey slid the earpiece into her ear, she asked, “She wants to see me?”

“Indeed,” Jemma answered. “She has some questions for you about the inner-workings of the First Order.”

Rey had attached the wristband when she said, “I don’t know how many of her questions I’ll be able to answer. I wasn’t anyone important.”

Jemma nodded. “She’s aware. Still, there may be something you can tell her that she didn’t know before.”

Rey didn’t think it was likely, but she didn’t mind talking to the General, so she just nodded and leaned back in the bed.

Jemma took hold of the handles of the wheelchair and said, “All right. Last thing for now. The showers are down the hall to the left. Third door on the right. You’ll find robes of several sizes inside should you wish to get out of those clothes.”

Now that piqued Rey’s interest. Being covered in dirt, blood, and sweat for so long had been less than comfortable.

“Okay,” Rey answered. “Thank you.”

Jemma bowed her head slightly and started wheeling the chair to the corner of the room where Rey saw several other wheelchairs were sitting. With one more wave, Jemma disappeared through the door of the infirmary, and Rey found the silence that followed more calming than any other silence she’d experienced. Even if the other Jedi trainees never liked her, she had a place here, and the thought was almost as relaxing as the idea of a shower.

She took the crutches Jemma had left her and didn’t even bother to cover her empty eye socket as she limped down the hallway and toward the showers. She went into the room labeled for women and found it blissfully empty. A nearby cabinet contained the robes Jemma had talked about and after picking out some that looked like they would fit, Rey went to the nearest shower.  
  
Taking the old clothes off was just as heavenly as washing away the dirt, and when she stepped out of the shower, she felt even better than she had before. She dressed herself and made the long trip back to the infirmary when the communicator bracelet started to beep.  
  
She waited until she was seated on the bed to answer it, and when she did, she was greeted with the voice of Poe saying, “Hey, Rey.”

She was smiling before she realized it and answered, “How are you doing, Poe?”

“Better now,” he answered. “They said my bones weren’t broken too badly so I should still be able to fly.”

It hadn’t even occurred to her that the injuries might end his flying career, but she was pleased to hear that they hadn’t.

“What about you?” he asked.

“I think I’m all right.”

Concern laced his voice when he asked, “You_ think_?”

She shrugged, not even registering that he wouldn’t be able to see it. “What do you want me to say, Poe? This is a strange place full of strangers.”

“All right, yeah,” he answered, sounding dejected. “I see your point.”

She wasn’t sure what else to say, so she was prepared to go ahead and say goodbye when she heard Poe blow out a breath.  
  
”Well,” he said, “If everything goes well, I’ll come and see you tomorrow. Is that okay?”

She hated how relieved the suggestion made her and how eager she sounded when she answered, “Yeah. It’s okay.”

She could almost hear him smirk when he said, "All right. See you then."

Too embarrassed to say anything else, she just hung up and took out the earpiece before depositing it on the bedside table. She still wasn’t hungry, so she leaned her head back onto the pillow and let her eye fall closed. This bed was far more comfortable than any other one she remembered.


	5. Chapter 5

She hadn’t planned on sleeping for so long, but when she finally woke up, she realized it was well into the night and long past dinner time. The building was completely silent, and all of the lights were out, but she was able to see well enough to find a plate of food and a cup of water sitting on the bedside table next to her communicator.

At first, she thought Jemma might have left it for her, but she found a note tucked under the plate. She unfolded it and read:

‘_I heard your welcome was less than warm, so I saved you some dinner. For what it’s worth, welcome to the Jedi Academy, Rey._’ -Ben Skywalker

Skywalker? She wasn’t aware that Luke had a son, but considering his age it wasn’t terribly surprising.

She picked up the plate of now very cold food and went for the meat first. It was much easier to chew than the meat she’d eaten on Jakku, which was a relief. She didn’t like the oval-shaped green vegetables she tasted next, so she bypassed those and went for what looked like some sort of mashed orange fruit. One bite of it had her eyes sparkling and she devoured it as if she hadn’t eaten in days. The last thing on the plate was a dinner roll of some kind, so she went to take a bite only to be stopped by what sounded like a lightsaber being activated.

Curious, she picked up a nearby roll of bandages and used them to cover her exposed eye socket before taking the dinner roll and the cup of water. She held the roll between her teeth and used her free hand to lean on the walls as she slowly limped toward the sound of the saber. It led her to the front entrance, and when she pushed the door open, she saw the same blonde-haired man who had been training the children earlier. She had to grab the roll to stop it from falling when her mouth fell open. A green lightsaber lit up the darkness around him as he practiced, and he was moving much more gracefully than she’d ever seen Kylo Ren move. His every movement was precise, clean, and controlled. It seemed, to her, more like a dance than a style meant for combat.

When he turned, he saw her, and he lowered his lightsaber as he powered it down, leaving them with only the lights from the city and the moon.

“Rey,” he said. “I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“You didn’t,” she answered, clumsily stepping down so she could sit on the stairs. She held the roll up next to her head. “Thanks, by the way.”

He didn’t answer, so she took the opportunity to finish the roll and drain the cup of its water. After she sat the cup to the side, she noticed he’d walked closer and he was standing next to a nearby lamp post. She saw him flick a switch on the side of the post, and the bright light at the top illuminated the entire front yard of the building.

She was, at last, able to get a better look at his face, and it was now blatantly obvious he was Luke’s son. He was almost a dead ringer for the statue she’d seen on the walkway. He then moved to sit beside her on the stairs, keeping a good foot of distance between them. Whether it was for her sake or his, she couldn’t say.

“I’m sorry for how Pierce treated you,” he said kindly. “He had no business being so rude.”

She shrugged. “You shouldn’t apologize for someone else. Besides, it’s gonna take more than that to upset me.”

“I have no doubts,” he answered. “Still, my father is the Master of this academy, and he’s allowed you to be among us. That means you at least deserve the courtesy of basic common decency.”

She had no idea why he was so offended on her behalf, but she didn’t care enough to ask him about it, so she let the subject drop. Her eyes traveled to the lightsaber at his waist, and she found it didn’t give her chills like Kylo Ren’s had.

“I don’t suppose you’ve ever used one of these,” he said, plucking the saber back off of his belt.

Her eyes followed it. “If I have, I don’t remember it.”

His expression soured slightly. “Yes. Father told me about your… circumstances. He also told me he means to train you personally rather than allow the other higher-ranking instructors to assist. You must have a gift, because he’s only ever done that with me and-”

She cocked her head to the side, wondering why he’d stopped, only to see an extremely melancholic expression come over his face as if he’d just experienced a painful memory.

“Anyway,” he said, clearing his throat. “Father doesn’t give students such special attention unless he sees great potential.”

She wasn’t sure if he was expecting her to be flattered, but what she felt was closer to embarrassment. Being treated in a special way… she wasn’t sure she liked it.

Ben stood and looked down at her as he said, “But, it still couldn’t hurt to get a head start. Would you like me to teach you?”

He motioned toward the lightsaber as he talked, and she couldn’t deny she was interested. She’d always found Kylo Ren’s weapon fascinating, even if it was often being used to threaten her or other Stormtroopers.

“Why not?” she answered. “But I don’t know how much I’ll be able to do. My leg still hurts pretty badly.”

“That’s all right,” he said. “The very basics don’t require much movement, anyway.”

He went into the building to retrieve another lightsaber. When he came back outside, he passed it to her. It felt foreign to hold such a weapon after spending so long using a blaster, and when she pushed the button on the side, it lit up bright blue.

Ben shifted his feet slightly and said, “First, take this stance.”

She looked down and mimicked him as best she could without causing herself too much pain and then watched as he raised his lightsaber and held it with both hands. She followed those movements, as well, and when he stopped, she did too.

“Now,” he said, “try to hit me.”

She quirked an eyebrow. “Why should I do that? You know I wouldn’t be able to even if my leg wasn’t messed up.”

He smiled. “Trust me.”

She didn’t see what this was going to accomplish, but she did as he asked and clumsily swung the weapon. He easily side-stepped, and when she painstakingly spun on her toes to try again, he ducked and rolled away, a slight smirk on his face.

A spark of competitive spirit moved through Rey in those moments, and she became determined to at least force him to guard. So she moved in again, trying to fake him out by taking a higher stance only to swing lower. She thought she might have succeeded when he jumped over her swing and front flipped right over her head to land behind her.

But she felt it as his body passed overhead. It was the same sort of pressure she would feel when Kylo Ren used the Force on her. Except, instead of hurting her, it felt like little more than a gentle push. She retracted the lightsaber and turned to look at him.

He looked pleased and said, “Figured it out?”

She nodded, and he retracted his lightsaber as well.

“Lightsaber combat is just as reliant on the Force as it is on your physical prowess,” he explained. “Perhaps even more so in some regards.”

He motioned for her to follow, and he led her back to the steps. She was about to question why he’d suddenly stopped the lesson when his expression shifted to concern. They sat in silence for a few seconds as Ben seemed to be thinking very hard about something.

When his lips finally parted, he said, “You’re afraid of the Force.”

The thumping of her heart had her averting her eyes. She wanted to deny it, but her voice had left her.

“I’m sorry to be so intrusive, but it’s obvious to one who is familiar with it,” he said. “Normally, a trainee can let the Force guide their movements out of instinct due to their connection with it. But the Force can’t guide you if you don’t actually want it to.”

She found her voice again and said, “But I _do_ want it to.”

He smiled solemnly. “You do and you don’t. You want to use it to protect yourself and those you care about, but you’re afraid of what it can do. Am I right?”

The memories flashed through her mind before she could stop them. All of the times she’d seen Kylo Ren force choke someone or torture them with his brutal mind tricks. Even the moment in Poe’s cell where Ren almost strangled the life out of her made itself to the forefront.

And then she saw herself flinging the Stormtroopers across the forest clearing as if they were nothing more than straw rag dolls. She’d killed almost all of them; the people who were victims of the First Order as much as she was. And at the time, she hadn’t cared. Fighting back after kowtowing for so long had felt too good. If having such power was going to turn her into that…

“Rey,” he said gently.

She looked at him again, and his expression was warm. He reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s all right,” he said. “I understand. But in light of this, it might be best to wait for Father, after all. He can help you with this far better than I can.”

The thought gave her chills, not because she was afraid of Luke but because she knew his “help” would require more of him delving into her thoughts. She wasn’t sure that she would ever get used to Force-users doing that to her.

Footsteps coming from inside drew her attention, and Ben stood as the front door opened. Standing in the doorway were the young man and woman Rey had passed earlier. She recalled their names were Eva and Pierce. Both were wearing what looked like sleeping clothes.

“What are you doing, Ben?” Pierce asked with a snippy tone. “You know that light is right outside of my window.”

Rey raised an eyebrow and looked back and forth between the two before her eyes rested on Pierce. His face was turning redder by the second and his gaze was hateful.

“Why don’t you look somewhere else, Stormtrooper?” he asked as he pushed past her to turn off the light, Eva close behind him.

Ben crossed his arms and said, “Your curtains were drawn, Pierce. Had you been asleep, the light would not have disturbed you.”

Ben had, evidently, reached the same conclusion Rey had. It wasn’t likely that Pierce had gone out of his way to visit Eva’s room and wake her so that she could come outside with him.

Eva smirked and sneered, “Jealousy doesn’t become you, Ben.”

Rey thought she saw a hint of fire burn behind Ben’s eyes when he retorted, “Such pettiness doesn’t become you, Eva. You’ve both made terrible impressions.”

Eva glanced at Rey with utter disgust. “The day we give a damn what a Stormtrooper thinks of us is the day we throw away our lightsabers and return to the mills.”

“Interesting that you think I was talking about Rey.”

Pierce took a step closer, and though he stood almost half a foot taller than Ben, Ben didn’t look even remotely intimidated.

“You can play along if you want to,” Pierce said with spite in his voice. “But she’s the Stormtrooper RA-2187, and by the time you and Master Luke realize that, she’ll already have daggers in your backs.”

Hearing her number set Rey’s face immediately to burning and her fists clenched despite herself. Eva glanced at her, and Rey’s anger worsened at the smug smirk that came over the woman’s pale, freckled face. Rey tried to force herself to calm down. She wasn’t about to let such immature behavior bother her if she could help it. She had to remember she’d been through worse.

“Nothing to say, _RA-2187_?” Eva asked sarcastically. “You’re not even gonna deny it?”

Rey felt it again. The same anger she’d felt when Phasma had called her by that number in the forest. She had to get out of this situation before her anger built any more. The last thing she needed was to accidentally hurt Eva and Pierce over something so trivial. So she turned, preparing to limp back inside the building.  
  
But before she could make it more than a step, Pierce said, “You won’t even face us? Coward.”

“Enough, Pierce!” Ben snapped. “You both go too far!”

But the damage was done. Nearby pebbles, twigs, and loose blades of grass were beginning to rise off the ground, and when Rey looked over her shoulder, she glared intensely at Pierce. He looked genuinely taken aback, and Rey was glad for that.

“I’m walking away for _your_ sake,” Rey snarled at him. “Not mine.”

She tried to leave again, but this time, it was Ben who stopped her by putting a hand on her shoulder.

She looked at him, and his face was full of resolve when he said, “Stay. _They_ can go.”

Pierce took another step closer to Ben. “Do you plan on making us?”

“If I have to.”

As much as she didn’t want Ben fighting her battles for her, Rey was impressed by his nerve. And judging by how quickly Pierce and Eva backed down, Ben had to have the skill to back up his confidence.

Eva took Pierce by the bicep and lightly tugged at him, “Forget it, Pierce. If he wants to make friends with a viper, let him.”

While he looked reluctant, Pierce turned and followed Eva back into the building. He slammed the door behind them, and when Rey looked at Ben, she saw the rage behind his eyes. He stayed completely silent until she could no longer hear Pierce and Eva’s footsteps.

“Forgive them if you can,” he said, his eyes still locked on the door. “I often have to remind myself that the universe has not been as kind to them as it has been to me. It taught them long ago that they could only trust each other.”

She knew a thing or two about the cruelty of the universe, and as angry as she’d been a few moments ago, she’d never planned on holding a grudge against them.

“I was expecting this,” she said. “Three days ago, I would have killed all of you if Kylo Ren had ordered me to.”

He looked at her. “We both know that’s not true.”

She wanted to agree, but she couldn’t really know what she might have done. She’d refused to shoot the townsfolk because of Finn and the girl. If Finn hadn't died, and if she’d been ordered to kill Luke Skywalker’s son and pupils…

His hand came down on her shoulder again. “You give yourself far too little credit, Rey.”

She didn’t know what to say, so she looked away and sealed her lips together. He moved his hand away from her shoulder and held his arm out as if asking her to hold onto it.

“Would you like me to help you up to your room?” he asked. “From what I’ve heard, you’re to meet with my Aunt Leia tomorrow, and she can be long-winded.”

She hadn’t been particularly tired when she first came out here, but after the confrontation she’d just had, she decided she’d be happy to crawl back into a bed. She hooked her arm around Ben’s and he helped her to the front door while she clumsily supported herself with the crutch.

When they made it inside, the crutch suddenly lurched from her hand and she watched it float toward the medical wing. She glanced back at Ben and he was smiling awkwardly.

“Sorry,” he said. “But we’ll be on these stairs all night if we do it your way.”

All of the air was pushed from her lungs when she found herself being lifted completely off of the floor. She almost started wiggling, but she fought the urge as she was then lowered onto Ben’s back. Her cheeks burned as he held onto the back of her knees and carried her up the stairs.

“Okay,” she said, “I’ll give it a pass since my leg is messed up, but if you ever do that again I’ll beam you over the head with your own lightsaber.”

He laughed, and when he reached the top of the stairs, he said, “It’s comforting to know that the First Order didn’t keep your sense of humor when you left.”

His words stole all of hers. He was right. She’d just joked around, no differently than Finn used to. She couldn’t remember ever doing that before.

He stopped in front of what she knew was her door and gently lowered her to the ground. She wobbled a bit, so she had to steady herself with a hand on his shoulder. He opened the door and pushed it open before turning to her.

“Here you are,” he said. “Breakfast starts at 7:00 and ends at 9:00, so make sure you’re up before then.”

He stepped to the side to let her go in. After she limped into the doorway, she looked at him and said, “Thanks, Ben.”

He nodded, a melancholy look on his face. “I’m sorry your first day here was so unpleasant.”

“It wasn’t,” she told him. “Not really.”

His frown turned into a smile, and that made Rey feel better.

“Goodnight, Ben.”

With a slight tip of his head, he answered, “Goodnight, Rey.”

He turned to leave, and she went into the room, closing the door behind her. The first thing that came over her was a deep discomfort. Not because she was nervous about her surroundings but because this was the first time she could ever recall being allowed to sleep in her own, personal bedroom.

The room was uncomfortably quiet as she peeled off her robes and draped them over a chair that was sitting at a desk. There was an end table with a lamp and a clock on one side of the bed and a small dresser on the other side. The final thing she noticed was a mirror hanging on a closet to the left of the bedroom door.

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked in a mirror. She’d seen herself reflected poorly in glass, but the First Order didn’t allow them to have mirrors. The less individuality you had the better. She turned the light switch next to the bedroom door, which bathed the room in a bright light and stepped in front of the mirror.

She’d seen her own naked body when she’d taken showers, but looking from above and looking from the front was completely different. She saw things she’d never noticed before, like the long, striped scars that were just barely showing from her back. She turned around to get a better look and gasped at just how many scars there were. And they weren’t limited to her back. They covered the backs of her thighs as well.

She knew she’d been a slave, but now she knew whatever master she’d had was not kind. The thought made her chest sting with guilt. If she had a family, they might still be owned by that master. Were they being abused the same way? The unpleasant feeling drove her to throw her robes back on and switch off the lights.

She crawled into the bed and closed her eyes, hoping to sleep but knowing she probably wouldn’t.


	6. Chapter 6

Rey couldn’t have slept through breakfast even if she wanted to because a bell ringing from downstairs dragged her out of what had been a very heavy sleep. Having such a comfortable bed on top of knowing she wouldn’t be severely punished for oversleeping had relaxed her enough to rest, despite how discomforted she’d been before she crawled under the covers.

She climbed out of the bed and found her leg didn’t hurt anywhere near as much as it had the day before, so she was able to easily walk over to the mirror and try to make her hair presentable. When she left the room, she was met with the sight of several other trainees exiting their own bedrooms. A couple of them glanced in her direction, but none paid her much mind as they went toward the stairs.

She followed them but didn’t speak to anyone, and when they led her to the mess hall, a decadent smell was wafting through the air. The food she’d been given by the First Order had been perfectly fine for keeping her well-fed, but it had never smelled or tasted good.

She watched as a small group of trainees went to stand in a line that had formed along two long counter tops. Spread out over the counter tops were several serving trays full of different kinds of foods that Rey had never seen before. She followed the other trainees, and when they plucked food trays off of a stack, she did too. As she went along the line, she took small amounts of each of the foods she thought looked appetizing, wanting to try as many of them as she could.

By the time she’d reached the end of the line and was ready to get a cup of water, she’d filled her tray with so much food that it would spill if she tilted it even a little bit. She turned to find somewhere to sit down only to be immediately daunted by the idea. She always had some kind of camaraderie with the other Stormtroopers because they were all in the same boat. But these people… Her mind forced her to remember Pierce and Eva’s reactions to her and she quickly moved to a small table that no one else was sitting at.

She kept her eyes on her food as she started taking small bites. Most of the food, she found, was just as good as the food she’d eaten the previous night. She was halfway through her food when she started picking up on voices, voices that she likely wasn’t meant to hear. At least one of them was female and the others were male. She wasn’t able to hear entire sentences, but she was picking up individual words like ‘Stormtrooper,’ ‘First Order,’ and her number. As much as she wanted to know who was talking about her, she kept her eyes down. She couldn’t risk another confrontation, not until Luke taught her how to control the Force. Still, knowing people were gossiping about her made the food lose its taste, so she started drinking the water instead.

She was so focused on trying to ignore the gossip that she was jolted at the feeling of a hand on her shoulder. The water spilled all over her chest as she turned, meeting the eyes of Ben Skywalker, who was holding his own tray of food.

He laughed quietly. “Well, if I’d known you were going to do that, I’d have called your name first.”

He placed his tray on the table and went over to the counter with the cups. He brought her back a handful of napkins and a new cup of water. She was shaking with embarrassment when she took the napkins and cup from him. As she started uselessly dabbing at her soaked chest, he took a seat in one of the two remaining chairs at the table. After she realized she wasn’t getting anywhere, she put the stack of damp napkins on the table next to her abandoned food tray and wrapped her fingers around the cup Ben had brought her.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess.”

He look a quick look around the room before turning back to her. “I wish I could tell you it will get easier, but I don’t know if it will. Even if you hadn’t come from the First Order, the other trainees are always more distant toward people my father chooses to train personally.”

Rey finally raised her eyes to look around. While there were several trainees walking between tables to speak to each other, none of them were coming to speak to Ben. That could easily have been because of her, but when she saw the solemn look on his face, she guessed it probably wasn’t.

“It’s funny,” he said. “They don’t know how many times I begged Father to just let me learn alongside them. He kept saying the Force was too strong in our family, that I _needed_ special training.”

Rey’s eye zeroed in on Ben’s face. “So it’s not about having a ‘gift?’ Luke thinks I’m too strong with the Force.”

Ben started pushing his food around with his fork. “Being strong with the Force _is_ a gift. Never doubt that. But yes. You are correct. And after what I saw last night, Father is right to take you under his wing.”

She remembered it vividly. It was a good thing Pierce had backed down because she didn’t want to know what might have happened if he’d refused to.

“Someone has definitely trained you in the past,” Ben said, finally taking a bite of his food, “but the loss of those memories on top of the fear you have developed prevent you from using the Force with any sort of control.”

The food in front of her now looked even more unappetizing, so she pushed the tray away and dropped her eyes back to the table.

“So, I’m dangerous,” she said, barely over her breath.

“No,” Ben immediately answered. “No, that’s _not_ what I meant.”

“But it’s true, isn’t it?” she asked, her mind forcing her to think back to the Stormtroopers she’d killed in the forest. “If I’ve got so much power and I can’t control it-”

“Father is going to_ teach_ you to control it,” he interrupted. “And even if he didn’t, I know you’re not dangerous. If you were, you wouldn’t have tried to walk away last night.”

She wanted to answer, but her brain was far too scrambled and her heart was pounding much too hard.

“Rey,” Ben said gently as he slid his hand across the table. She felt his hand drape over hers, and he went on, “You’ve been through terrible things, but those things didn’t make _you_ terrible. With Father’s training, you’ll re-learn the control, and everything will be fine.”

She remembered him saying that the universe hadn’t been very cruel to him, and that was the only reason she could figure that he was so optimistic. Still, he was knowledgeable about the Force, and if he thought she could control it, then she needed to believe him.

“Okay, Ben,”she answered. “I’ll try my best.”

He smiled. “I know you will. Now, eat your food. I’m supposed to bring you to see Aunt Leia when you’re finished with breakfast.”

She smiled back in spite of herself and pulled the tray back to her. As she picked her fork back up, she told herself she had to stop this. Giving in to such strong anxiety was getting her nowhere, and it was giving The First Order, Phasma, and Kylo Ren back the control that she’d been so determined to take from them.  
  
_No more_, she’d told herself before, and she decided she’d keep telling herself over and over if she had to.

*****

The walk to the General’s office was long, made longer by the fact that Rey’s leg still hurt a little, so she couldn’t move very fast. But Ben was patient. The more she talked to him, the more she wondered if there was anything that could make him lose his cool.

When they made it to the secretary’s office outside of the General’s, Rey suddenly found herself extremely anxious. To hear Kylo Ren tell it, General Organa was a stone-cold harpy with a temperament to match. As much as she knew it was probably a lie, that wasn’t going to stop the months of conditioning from making her palms sweat as Ben opened the General’s door.

Rey followed Ben inside, and when she looked around the room, she found an older, grey-haired woman sitting at a desk, worrying over a projection in front of her, while Jemma sat in a chair nearby. Jemma rose to her feet as soon as she saw Rey.

“Oh, Rey,” she said. “You’re early, the General is still-”

“It’s all right, Jemma,” came the General’s surprisingly soft voice. “We can finish this later. Why don’t you go take some time for yourself, for once?”

Jemma smiled. “I’m not sure I remember how, General.”

The General smiled back. “Honestly, it’s been twenty years. Isn’t it about time you started calling me ‘Leia?’”

Jemma didn’t answer and bowed her head before heading to the door. On her way out, she stopped and looked at Rey.

“I should have your eye finished by the end of the day,” she said. “I’ll send for you as soon as it’s done.”

“There’s no rush,” Rey answered, “but thank you.”

Jemma gave another slight bow and exited the room, closing the door behind her. That was when the General stood, and Rey had to do a double-take when she realized the woman was shorter than she was. And the second thing she noticed was the gentle look in the General’s eyes, completely antithetical to what she’d been taught about her. All of Rey’s anxieties seemed to melt away as the General stepped out from behind her desk and approached.

“Hello, Rey,” she said with that same soft voice, “I’m General Leia Organa. I’m sorry to call on you so soon after what you went through, but I’m afraid we’re a bit desperate for information at this point.”

“Um,” Rey answered, suddenly feeling very awkward, “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

The General smiled again and motioned toward a couple of chairs that were sitting in front of the desk. Rey and Ben both moved to sit in them, and once the General was in her own seat again, she leaned her elbows on the desk.

“Luke and Poe have told me everything that you told them so far,” the General said. “But there is one big question I want to ask. Do you know who’s helping the First Order gain access to the slaves they’re taking?”

Rey’s eyebrows narrowed, “I’m sorry?”

The General wound her hands together. “Well, normally, slavers are less than enthusiastic about parting ways with their property. So someone who knows the trade inside and out has to be helping them smuggle the slaves out without their masters knowing. They’d also have to be quite the tech expert to be able to deactivate the tracker chips that the slaves are implanted with. Do you know anything about that?”

Rey looked at the floor and poured through her memories, trying to remember all of the conversations she’d overheard between Phasma and Kylo. There were so many conversations, and most of them had been sparse of any real information. But the General needed a name. Names usually stood out among all of the numbers. Slavers. Smuggling. Chips. Tech. There had to be something. Someone.

Rey’s eyes widened and she raised her head. “Hux.”

The General’s brow furrowed. “Hux?”

Rey nodded. “I only remember them mentioning him once, but Phasma said that he was getting sloppy and that if he didn’t get his act together they’d need to find a new ‘contact.’”

The General hummed and the projection from before returned as she started typing the name into it.

“I don’t know if that’s who you’re looking for,” Rey added quickly. “Like I told Luke, I was just a Stormtrooper. I-”

“Rey,” the General interrupted gently, “it’s all right. This is a lead we didn’t have before, and I happen to know a few famous smugglers who might be able to help chase it down.”

The General then started quickly typing into the projection, and the room went silent as she focused on what she was doing. During the silence, a thought occurred to Rey, one she’d forgotten about until this very moment.

“Um… General,” Rey said softly.

The General looked away from the projection and toward Rey, expectantly. Rey found her palms becoming sweaty again, so she wound her hands together tightly.

“Luke said that you might be able to find my family.”

“Yes,” the General answered. “I think we probably could. He also said that you didn’t want them found. Has that changed?”

“They still don’t need to know that I’m alive,” Rey said quickly, “but I have… scars, scars I didn’t know about until I came here.”

She saw the understanding come over the General’s face.

“You think they are being abused by their master.”

Rey nodded, and another smile curled on the General’s lips as she started typing a few more words into the projection.

“All right, Rey,” The General said. “I’ll do what I can, but I don’t want to make you any promises. I have resources, but even my reach only goes so far.”

“I understand,” Rey answered. “Thank you.”

The General gave an acknowledging nod. “Now. If you’re still up for it, I have a few more questions.”

Rey didn’t hesitate to nod, and as she looked into the General’s kind eyes, she wondered if there was a single thing the First Order told her that was true.

*****

By the time the General had finished with Rey, it was coming up on noon. Rey followed Ben out of the General’s building and she thought they might head back to the academy when he turned and started leading her in the opposite direction.

She stepped up beside him and asked, “Where are we going?”

“I spoke to Father last night,” he answered. “He knows you’re not recovered enough to start any extensive lightsaber training, but you don’t need a working leg to use the Force.”

As soon as Ben finished speaking, she knew he’d been right about everything he said. Her heart was pounding, and her anxiety was worse than it had been before she walked into the General’s office. She really was afraid. She hated it, and she hated Kylo Ren even more for making her fears worse.

Ben led her through a bustling, busy part of the city, where she had to dodge countless people to stop from running into them. But he just kept walking until they were passing through areas with progressively fewer and fewer people. When they reached what looked like a public park with a small grey building in the center, Ben approached the door. He tapped on it five times, and Rey heard Luke’s voice from within.

“Come in.”

Upon entering the house, Rey saw Luke standing over a table, staring at a projection that was shining from it and looking remarkably similar to his sister. He reached out to flip through to another page of information, and he released a frustrated snarl.

Ben approached first. “You’re not getting anywhere by worrying yourself to death, Father.”

Luke sighed and fell back into a chair that was sitting behind him. “I know, but I don’t like The First Order knowing something I don’t. The Jedi Council was supposed to be composed of the most knowledgeable people in the galaxy, but they had no information about any cave on Bal’demnic. I’ve found barely a mention of the planet at all. ”

Rey suddenly felt very guilty. She wanted badly to give Luke the information he needed. He’d saved her life, it was the least she could do. But she couldn’t give him something she just didn’t have. She’d never even heard of the planet Bal’demnic, much less what might be hidden there.

Luke raised his hand and waved the projection away. “Thanks for bringing her, Ben. Now you’d better get back to the academy. It’s almost time for the younglings’ lightsaber lesson.”

“Yes, Father,” Ben answered. He flashed Rey a quick smile before he disappeared back outside.

After the door clicked closed, Rey noticed Luke motioning for her to sit in a chair that was placed next to a shelf lined with various holocrons. As she did so, he pulled his own chair over so that they were close enough to touch hands. She was slightly discomforted by him being so close, but she said nothing and crossed her arms.

“I don’t know if Ben told you,” he said, “but you handled the situation with Pierce and Eva very well.”

Slight irritation pricked at Rey. Ben spoke to his father, all right. It was clear that nothing about her life from now on was going to be a secret from Luke.

“A Jedi is meant to quiet conflict whenever they can,” he went on. “But fear shouldn’t be your driving force for quieting it.”

“I know,” she said, her stomach tightening a bit.

Luke’s expression turned serious. “Then give me your hands.”

She hadn’t been afraid before, but she was now. Even without him saying it, she knew he was about to delve into her mind. He wouldn’t harm her. She understood that, but her chest still ached when she slid her hands into Luke’s. His callused fingers were warm and gentle when he curled them around and pressed them into the back of her hands.

“In order to conquer this fear, you first have to face it,” he said. “There’s no way for me to make this easier for you, but I can promise that you are never going to be in danger.”

She shook her head. “I’m not afraid for me.”

A small grin curled on Luke’s lips and he gave her hands a reassuring squeeze.

“Rest assured, Rey,” he said. “If you begin to lose control, I will stop you.”

It wasn’t much, but those words lessened her anxiety just enough for her heart to slow and her stomach to unwind. After blowing out a breath, she met Luke’s eyes and gave him a single nod.

And then those blue eyes vanished. Looking around her, she knew she wasn’t in his house anymore. The walls were painfully familiar, and so were the sounds and smells. The bed she was sitting on was just as hard and uncomfortable as she remembered, and the other troopers were ignoring her just as they always did.

It’s not real. You’re not really here. Remember that.

With that in mind, she stood and headed for the door of the barracks. No one stopped her as she pushed it open and stepped out. As soon as the door closed behind her, she heard something that sounded like a whisper. She turned to where she thought it was coming from and started walking. As the whisper grew closer to a voice, she realized it was leading her to the prison ward.

By the time she reached it, the voice was far clearer, and she recognized it as the one she’d heard during the dream she’d had in the forest. _Free yourself_, it said. But now it was beckoning her closer. She didn’t know if it was a voice she’d made up or if it was something else entirely. But if it hadn’t shown her she could use the Force, Poe would be dead, so she knew she could trust it.

The voice led her through the empty hallway of the prison ward until she saw an open cell. Before she could step up to it to see what was inside, a familiar voice had her halting in her steps.

“I didn’t know we had the best pilot in the Resistance on board.”

He sounded just as cold and cruel as he always did, and despite telling herself this wasn’t real, her every muscle was frozen. Phasma was one thing. She was big, monstrously strong, and intimidating, but she was still a regular human. Kylo Ren had always been something else entirely.

_Save him_.

The voice again. Save him? Save who?

“I suppose that explains why the torches couldn’t break you. The General wouldn’t deign to promote a weakling.”

Rey’s throat tightened. She’d been so petrified by the sound of Ren’s voice that she hadn’t bothered listening to _what_ he was saying. Her feet came instantly unglued from the floor and she went to the door of the cell. The familiar scene was far more painful than it had been the first time. Poe’s face was covered in sweat and his eyes were telling the tale of how much pain he was in, even though he wasn’t making a sound.

And then Kylo Ren turned. She could feel his eyes piercing her just like last time, and her heart beat just as wildly. He took a step closer to her, and she found herself, once again, frozen.

“Where is your armor, RA-2187?” Ren snarled. “Or do you truly believe yourself to be free?”

She didn’t answer, and her clenched fists trembled as Ren stepped around her, his hands behind his back.

“How could you be?” he asked. “You don’t even know what freedom is.”

He stopped behind her and leaned in so that his face was next to her ear.

Rey’s breath hitched when she heard him say, “What are you?”

Her mouth opened, and the words were forming on her tongue when she slammed her lips together again. Damn it all. He was right. It was still second-nature, even now.

Ren moved again, this time returning to stand before Poe. Poe’s eyes were baring down on Ren with intense anger, but the anger turned to shock when Ren raised a hand and began to Force-choke him. Rey’s eyes grew wide, and her hands stopped shaking.

She remembered this feeling well. It was exactly what she’d felt in the forest when Phasma was about to kill Poe. So her mind also forced her to remember what she’d done afterward. Not again. She couldn’t become like that again, feeling euphoria from killing people. That wasn’t what she was. That’s what they wanted her to be.

But Poe’s face was turning red, and she could see his eyes rolling into the back of his head. She had to save him. But how? Ren was too powerful, he always had been. Even if she knew how to use the Force, how could she possibly hope to face him?

_Save him_.

‘I don’t know how.’

_Save him._

‘I can’t. Ren is too strong.’

_He saved you. Save him._

Her doubts began to crack as her chest grew heavy. He did. He did save her. He gave her a name. He flew her away from the First Order. He got her to Luke. Where would she be without him? She’d be sitting in a grey room with the blood of a child all over her hands. She’d have retreated so deep inside of herself, that she would never have been able to come out again. She’d still be RA-2187.

She raised her hand and held it out toward Ren. She pictured herself grasping onto his wrist and pressing down on the trigger point she’d been taught about during her hand-to-hand training. She heard Ren release what sounded like a pained hiss, followed by Poe gasping for air. Ren turned to her, and she could feel the hatred behind his gaze even if she couldn’t see it.

“I am _Rey_,” she said. “And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll never touch him again.”

Ren didn’t say another word and simply reached for the lightsaber at his belt. Rey glanced down and found a lightsaber on hers, as well. She didn’t know where it had come from, but she took it anyway. She lit hers up right after he lit his, and as much as she knew she stood no chance, she wasn’t petrified.  
  
Let the Force guide your movements, Ben said. She thought to see what might happen if she did. Ren stepped forward again, and Rey did, too.

And then Rey was blinking over and over again when she found herself looking upon a pair of blue eyes, Ren and Poe nowhere to be seen. She looked down and saw that she was gripping Luke’s hands so tightly they were turning whiter. She quickly released him, only to find that she was suddenly very lightheaded and breathing heavily.

Luke’s hands grasped her shoulders gently and he said, “Easy does it.”

It took a few more seconds for her breathing to slow, and once it did, Luke leaned back in his chair and wound his fingers together. She was glad to see that he looked pleased.

“You did well,” he said. “You’ve gained at least some amount of trust for the Force, and, more importantly, trust for yourself.”

His tone was still a bit stern, so she said, “But…?”

She saw sadness come over his eyes. “After my grandmother was killed, my father had only the Jedi code and my mother. He lost the code when Darth Sidious manipulated him into killing Master Windu. Then all he had was my mother, and he committed horrible atrocities simply because Sidious had promised to save her life.”

Rey had certainly never heard this version of the story, and the pain in Luke’s voice when he told it was palpable.

“I told you that I don’t expect you to kill your emotions,” he told her. “But you have to find a purpose outside of protecting Poe and being a Jedi.”

A purpose? That wasn’t something she’d ever thought about. Her “purpose” had always been to follow orders.

“I don’t expect you to find that purpose right now, but find it,” he said. “Your life is yours to live now, Rey. Live it the way you want to.”

It was such an obvious statement yet nothing had ever sounded more daunting and it had her looking at the floor. It hadn’t occurred to her until that moment that, despite choosing to run away from the First Order, that was the extent of her free choices. She had been allowing herself to be led around since then. Poe led her to Luke, Luke led her to Jemma, Jemma led her to the academy, and Ben led her here. It had been so easy, like falling back into an old habit.

But what else could she do? What else did she have?

“Rey.”

She looked at him again, and he was smiling this time.

“Don’t fret,” he said. “I’m well aware that you’re still adjusting, but once you’re more comfortable, expand your horizons beyond my house and the academy. I think you’ll find a purpose will come to you naturally after that.”

She couldn’t say she felt completely at ease, but his words were enough to stop her head from spinning. He was right. There was no reason to drive herself crazy.

“Now,” he said, getting to his feet. “I think you’re ready to begin your first lesson. What do you think?”

She appreciated him giving her a choice, even though she was sure he already knew what she was going to say.

She stood as well and said, “Let’s do it.”

He motioned for her to follow and went to the front door. As he opened it and she followed him outside, she found herself, for the first time, excited about the prospect of learning. That wasn’t a feeling she thought she’d ever have.

*****

Luke tired before she did. He blamed it on his age, but she guessed it had more to do with him spending his day worrying over the cave on Bal’demnic. Even now, it bothered her that she’d never heard even a mention of it. She hadn’t overheard a terrible amount of Kylo Ren and Phasma’s conversations, but it seemed like something as important as this cave would have come up at least once.

He offered to send a car for her to return her to the academy, but she turned him down, wanting to walk back and see the city. And she quickly found it had been a great idea. With it being later in the evening, there were fewer people walking the streets, so she was able to simply enjoy the scenery.

The buildings really were huge, and trying to see the tops of them just made her dizzy, so she kept her eyes down. And that was when she saw the park. It was lit by lamps and she could see grasses with a stone path that she could follow. She went down the path and it eventually led her to a giant fountain made of a smooth white stone with a sheen that was lit by the six tall lampposts surrounding it.

In between each of those lampposts was a flower bed, and the sweet scent coming off of them had Rey relaxing more than she ever had since she’d arrived in the city. She walked up to one of the flower beds and knelt down so she could get a better whiff. She felt the smile coming as soon as the smell hit her nose, and she let it happen, like she promised herself she would.

“Flowers again, huh?”

The voice startled her so much she lost her balance and had to hold out a hand to catch herself so that she wouldn’t fall face-first into the flowerbed. She turned, only to see Poe, sitting in a floating wheelchair, and laughing softly.

She might have taken a minute to be irritated at him for laughing at her if the vision she’d had earlier hadn’t made her so happy to see him.

“Poe?” she said, shakily getting to her feet. “How did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t,” he answered. “I got to Luke’s right after you left and he told me you went this way. I knew this park had a lot of flowers, so…”

She grinned and walked over to the fountain so that she could sit down on the raised outer circle.

Poe brought the chair closer to her, and asked, “So, how was the first day?”

Her first instinct was to lie and say everything was great so that he wouldn’t worry, but he would probably be able to tell. So she pressed her hands into the stone beneath her and looked away.

“That bad, huh?” he asked, sounding solemn.

“No,” she quickly told him. “I just don’t really know what to say.”

“Just tell me what you’ve been up to.”

She looked back at him, and she didn’t try to keep the confusion from her face.

“What I’ve been up to?” she said. “So you just want me to… tell you about my day?”

He shrugged. “Yeah. Is that weird, or something?”

Weird. That was a word for it. But it was more like she was surprised that he was even interested. Maybe it was a typical thing for people who weren’t socially stunted like she was.

“Um…” she said, not sure where to start. “I guess Jemma took me to the academy and told me she was gonna get me a new eye. Ben kinda helped me get settled in, and then I went to see the General. She asked me some questions and told me she’d help me find my family. Then-”

“Wait,” Poe interrupted, suddenly sounding excited. “Your family? You asked her to look for them?”

She nodded, not even remembering until that moment that he’d been disappointed about her not wanting to look for them.

“That’s great!” he said. “Do you have any idea when you’ll be able to see them?”

She shook her head. "I won't."

The smile fell from his face, and he almost sounded angry when he said, “Well then what’s the point in finding them?”

She didn’t feel like repeating herself, so she stood and turned her back, unfastening the front of her robes as she went. She felt the cool night air against the skin on her back when she let the robes fall.

For the next few seconds, the park was completely silent apart from the flowing of the fountain.

It wasn’t until she pulled her robes back up and sat back down that Poe finally moved. He ran a hand through his hair and blew out a breath.

“Damn,” he said. “I’m sorry, Rey. When I’m back to work, I’ll do everything I can to help the General find them. I promise.”

She didn’t know why that promise made her feel so much better. One extra soldier was hardly gonna make that much of a difference. But she felt better regardless. Only one small prick of discomfort still remained: he_ was_ going to recover. And when he did, he’d hop right back into a fighter and go back to doing what soldiers do, putting themselves in harm’s way to protect people.

_Find a purpose outside of protecting Poe and being a Jedi._ But she didn’t have that purpose yet.

“Poe,” she said softly.

“Yeah?”

She swallowed, her heart beginning to thump her chest.

“Just… be careful, okay?”

She felt the sarcastic smirk before she saw it.

“You worried about me, Rey?”

It took everything she had not to hit him.

He laughed again, but it was softer this time. She heard the chair move, and then his hand was laying over top of hers. She met his eyes, and while he still looked as arrogant as he always did, there was a hint of what looked like happiness in there, too.

“I’ve been a soldier for a while,” he said. “I’m not gonna go down easy.”

His fingers curled around her hand, and her hand moved to grip back before she’d even made the decision to do so.

“And you’re in training now,” he went on, “but fully-trained Jedi get into just as much trouble as we do, if not more. So you’d better be careful, too.”

She smiled again, and Poe’s hand almost immediately gripped hers tighter. A feeling moved through her chest that was similar to the one she would get when she had nightmares about falling. But she wasn’t afraid or pleading for it to stop. She wasn't sure she ever wanted this to stop.

“I think I’m in a little bit better shape, at least,” she said. “I’m still not the one who ran head-first into Kylo Ren with nothing but a blaster and a smart mouth.”

He grinned and shook his head. “You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?”

She shrugged. “I might, if you don’t do something that stupid again for a while.”

He hummed and lightly tugged at her hand. “Well, would it be stupid if I asked you to have dinner with me?”

She’d had a quick lunch during her training, but that was hours ago, so dinner did sound amazing.

“Just as long as I don’t have to catch it this time.”

He chuckled lightly. “Nah, I figured we’d take the normal, boring route and go to a restaurant.”

She stood and went with him as he led her out of the park and back into the mostly-empty streets. With him still being in the wheelchair, it was slightly uncomfortable to keep holding onto his hand while they walked, but she didn’t want to let it go.  
  
She _never_ wanted to let it go.


	7. Chapter 7

The alarm went off as it did every morning, and RA dragged herself out of bed along with all of the troopers from her division. In the corner bed on the left side, she saw FN-2199 slowly crawling out from under his blankets. He’d never been a morning person as long as she’d known him. He ran his hand over top of his bald head and the brown skin shone under the light above him. She swore he could use that dome to blind the enemy if Phasma allowed him to go without his helmet.

She stretched her arms over her head before reaching under her always uncomfortable bed to pull out her new armor. Captain Phasma had made sure to outfit everyone in her division with new armor since they would be going on their first mission the following week. She was sliding her armor on when she heard him approaching. She turned and saw he hadn’t put on a single piece of his armor yet.

He blew out a breath. “Where do you get all of that energy in the mornings?”

“Same place you should be getting yours: sleep."

“What can I say?” he said with a shrug. “Had to win back my ring.”

She glanced at his hand and saw the ring he was talking about. He’d mentioned it before as the only possession he had left from his life before the First Order. It was a silver ring with a worn-out picture of what looked like a family crest carved into it. The swirling lines formed the image of a serpent-like creature RA did not recognize.

“Why’d you bet it in the first place if it means so much to you?”

He threw on his usual smirk. “Because I was sure I would win.”

She rolled her eyes. “Remind me not to let you be in charge of any infiltration missions they put us on. You’ll be “sure” that you won’t get caught and then trip every alarm in the base.”

“Sorry, but who’s the one who trips over her own two feet when she gets startled?” he asked slyly.

She glared at him, but he just laughed and went back to his bed. She saw him pulling out his armor, but she decided to ignore him and slid her helmet on. As soon as it clicked, she exited the barracks and went to where they were supposed to wait for Phasma. She was first out like she always was.

It only took a few more minutes for the rest of her division to exit the barracks to join her, and, of course, FN-2199 shoved his way to her side despite some scolding from the other troopers. Everyone stood at attention when Captain Phasma approached with two other troopers behind her.

RA’s throat tightened when FN-2199 whispered, “You ever wondered what she looks like under that armor?”

She clenched her fists and had to bite her bottom lip to keep from snapping at him to shut up. If Phasma had been a few steps closer, she’d have heard him. RA would have thought, by now, that he’d have learned to hold his tongue, but she wasn’t sure he was capable.

This was normally the point when Phasma would walk down the line and make sure everyone was at attention, but she was standing right in front of RA and she didn’t seem to be in any hurry to move.

Without moving her head, RA looked at Phasma, and the Captain’s gaze was turned on her. She didn’t know what she’d done to draw the Captain’s attention, but she said nothing and didn’t move. As far as she knew, she hadn’t broken any rules, so there was no need to fear any punishment. Still, the Captain’s eyes seemed to press down on RA, and she swallowed heavily, internally pleading with her to move on.

After a few more seconds, she did, and it was only when the Captain began to announce their orders for the day that RA was able to breathe again. She was both curious and afraid of what had come over the Captain. The last thing RA wanted was to be on anyone’s radar, especially one who was as close to Kylo Ren as Phasma was.

When Phasma finished her announcement, she led them to the only place on the entire Starship where RA could feel completely at ease: the firing course. She was given her assortment of training blasters and fell in line while she waited for Phasma to tell her to go in. She was first out of the barracks, so she would be first to go into the simulation.

Once everyone had their weapons, Phasma stood next to the door that led into the simulation room and said, “RA-2187.”

RA stepped forward and walked past Phasma. The door opened, and she went inside. Here. Inside of this room, there was nothing else and no one else. It was only in here that she could allow herself to feel anything. So when the simulation began and the rush from the adrenaline started to come, she let it.

The simulation always started with only one or two of the red, human-shaped projections, and RA shot them down quickly enough. Two became four, four became six, six became eight. It was only then that RA felt she was being challenged, so the rush intensified as she dove down to dodge the blasts from the projections. She pressed her back into one of the very few bits of cover they were granted during these simulations and blew out a breath.  
  
She reached for the rifle blaster at her waist and quickly turned out of the cover to shoot down two of the projections that were closing on her. She had to move back to avoid another few blasts, but she managed to catch a glimpse of where they’d come from, so once the shooting stopped again she jumped out of cover and mowed down the three who had fired.  
  
Three more, and she could see they had ducked behind the few remaining bits of cover. That was fine with her because it meant she could do the next thing she was best at, sneaking. The projections weren’t advanced enough to have fully human intelligence, but they were aware enough to see through stealth if you were too sloppy.

_Trip over my own two feet, huh? Well, see how he likes_ this.

She moved low and slowly, her feet not making a sound as she moved from cover to cover and wound up right next to the three remaining projections. She drew her hand blaster, stood straight up, and shot all three of them in the head before they could even raise their weapons.

She heard the humming of the simulation winding down, and she had to admit to being mildly disappointed. She wasn’t sure she could have succeeded, but she was more than ready to take on the ten in the next round.

The door to the simulation opened, and RA stepped back into the room with Phasma and the others. She fell in line, and she was jolted to attention when Phasma stepped up to her.

“Perfectly done, as usual, RA-2187,” Phasma said flatly. “I expect nothing less than this level of perfection on your first mission.”

RA’s movements were more automatic than willful when she saluted and answered, “Yes, Captain.”

Phasma moved back to her place next to the door and said, “FN-2199.”

RA’s eyes followed him as he bypassed Phasma, and she knew he wouldn’t make it past the round with six. He never did. Shooting was not his forte, but she’d never once won against him in hand-to-hand. He was far too strong and much faster than she’d ever expected a man of his size to be. He was, perhaps, one of only a handful of troopers in the entire First Order who didn’t have to tilt his head up to look at Phasma.

Predictably, he was shot down by one of the six projections, and as soon as he left the room, Phasma shoved him toward the line.

“You continue to be a disappointment in this regard, FN-2199,” she said spitefully.

He saluted, but with far less grace than RA had. “We can’t all be as great as our Captain, can we?”

Phasma’s eyes were covered, but RA knew she was glaring intensely enough to burn a hole through him. RA thought she might knock him to the floor and kick him a few times. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d done it. But Phasma simply released an annoyed grunt and called for the next trooper.

As soon as the simulation started again and its sounds were able to drown him out, FN-2199 leaned closer to RA and mumbled, “I don’t know what the first mission is gonna be, but I bet it’ll be amazing.”

_Amazing_. That word rung in her ears over and over again as Rey finally shook herself awake and threw the blankets off of her sweating body. Her hands shook wildly as she threw her bare legs over the side of the bed and let her feet touch the cool floor. She pressed her hands into the bed and gripped onto the sheets beneath her as she tried, unsuccessfully, to slow her breathing.

Dreams had become more and more common since she’d decided to flee the First Order, but this was the first one that had featured Finn so prominently. Amazing, he’d said. What a joke. I wonder how amazing he thought it was while he was choking on his own blood. The thought made her chest sting and her eye well up, so she banished it as quickly as she could and went for the robes she’d draped over her desk chair the night before.

As she was dressing, her eye darted around the room until it stopped on the still-browned, stuffed cat that was sitting on the nightstand next to her alarm clock. She’d decided to place it next to that clock so that she wouldn’t forget that first moment of clarity where she finally decided to disobey. But now, with the dream about Finn so fresh in her mind, she couldn’t bear to look at the cat. So she snatched it off the table and shoved it into one of the pockets of her robes. The pocket wasn’t deep, so the toy’s head very nearly poked out as she went down the stairs to wait for breakfast to start.

Her throat tightened when she noticed both Pierce and Eva seemed to have had the same idea as they were both waiting by the door of the cafeteria. Neither of them had noticed her yet, so she turned to go back upstairs, only to be met by two other trainees, girls, coming down the stairs at the same time. They weren’t exactly talking quietly, so the noise attracted the attention of both Pierce and Eva. Rey felt their eyes on her, and she blew out a silent breath, hoping her training with Luke the previous day had been enough for her to maintain control.

The girls bypassed her, and when they did, one of them accidentally bumped her. She let out a quick apology, but Rey didn’t answer. She couldn’t. She kept her eyes to the floor and her head turned away from Pierce and Eva, and she might have stayed that way until breakfast started if a movement hadn’t caught her eye.

She turned, and her eye widened at the sight of the stuffed cat floating through the air and right toward Pierce and Eva. Pierce was the one to grab it, and when he did, he turned it over in his hand. Rey feared the worst and stepped closer to him.

“Give it back, Pierce,” she said sternly.

He ignored her words entirely and said, “Blood? What is this, a trophy you plucked off of one of the children you murdered for the First Order?”

Feelings of rage mixed with guilt as Rey raised her voice slightly and answered, “I didn’t kill her. Now give it back!”

“_Her_?” Eva said, stepping in front of Pierce. “So you did kill _someone_. Was it her mother? Her father? Or maybe a brother. You bastards seem to love killing those.”

“I didn’t kill any of them,” Rey desperately answered. “I only killed Stormtroopers.”

Pierce stepped up next to Eva. “Yes, we know all about you being a turncoat. As if knowing that is gonna make us trust you.”

His hand closed tightly around the cat, and the longer he held it, the more afraid Rey became. She couldn’t let him destroy it, but she didn’t want to harm him, either. What was she supposed to do?

_Save him_.

Her eyebrows raised. Using the Force in a vision wasn’t quite the same as using it normally, but she learned enough yesterday to copy what she’d done in that vision.

She lifted her hand and held it out toward Pierce. She used a small bit of the Force to push down on the trigger point of the hand holding the cat. He grunted in pain and the cat fell. Before it could touch the ground, Rey held her other hand out and made it float back to her. She placed it back into her robes, choosing one of the deeper pockets this time.

Eva’s eyes flared when she snapped, “You wretch. Do you think you’re suddenly better than us after one day of training?”

Rey didn’t answer. She was done trying to appeal to them. They were determined to hate her, and there was no stopping them. So she stood there, looking back at Eva with the same blank expression she used to show Phasma. That seemed to only anger Eva more since she stomped up to Rey and threw one of the most predictable punches Rey had ever seen.

She stepped out of Eva’s path, which left her stumbling for a second before she turned to face Rey again. Rey didn’t have much physical Jedi training yet, but she still had what the First Order taught her, no matter how much she might hate using it. Eva went for her again, and this time Rey caught her wrist and twisted her arm in one quick motion, locking it behind her back.

Eva grunted in pain as Rey pulled her closer and mumbled, “Stop this, Eva. I don’t want to fight you.”

Eva spit at the floor, but Rey’s eye was drawn to Pierce when he started stomping closer. His eyes bore down on Rey with a burning hatred.

“Let her go, Stormtrooper,” he snarled.

Rey glared right back at him. “My name is Rey. And I’ll let her go as soon as you both calm down.”

He took another step closer. “I’m not gonna say it a third time. Let. Her. Go.”

She could hear how serious he was, but she also knew, as soon as she let go of Eva, they would both turn on her and despite her training, they would likely overwhelm her. Pierce’s size would easily close the experience gap with him already being so close. One of them had to be put out of commission, and Eva was the one under her control. Plus, what she was about to try had never worked on Finn, so it likely wouldn’t work on Pierce, either.

Using her free hand, Rey chopped Eva in the back of the neck with enough force to cause her to begin to fall limp. Before she could fall over, Rey shoved her into Pierce, causing him to stumble as he scrambled to keep her from falling. While he was distracted, Rey swiftly moved toward him and threw a fast punch right into his nose. She felt it shatter before she heard it, and his blood was dripping down his face in mere seconds. The pain made him lose his balance and he flopped down onto his bottom as Eva fell face-first into his lap.

One of his hands was on his nose, and the other was on Eva’s shoulder as Rey knelt down in front of him. He looked at her, and his watery eyes were just as fierce as they always were.

“Now listen, Pierce,” Rey said calmly. “You might think you’re really scary, but you’re not. So how about you and Eva keep your hands to yourself from now on?”

She didn’t wait for a response and went to the door to the cafeteria, which had opened during the confrontation. The girls from before were both standing by the door, their eyes wide as they stared at Rey. Her first thought was that she was now going to have two more people who hated her, so she looked away from them and went into the cafeteria to get her breakfast.

She didn’t get as much on her plate as she had the morning before, the confrontation having left her with little appetite. She sat at the same small table and kept her eye on her tray as the rest of the trainees started filing into the room. The chatter started, and this time she heard Pierce and Eva’s name mixed in alongside hers. At least they were using her name now and not her number.

She was only a few bites into her meal when she heard a soft voice say, “Um… Rey, is it?”

Rey looked up and saw both of the girls from before standing next to the table with their trays and cups in hand. She still had food in her mouth, so she nodded.

The shorter one asked, “Is it okay if we sit with you?”

The request was so unexpected that Rey almost choked on her food. She took a drink of her water to wash it down.

“I guess so,” she answered nervously.

They both sat their trays down in front of the two empty chairs and as they were sitting down, Rey took a better look at them. The shorter one had long blonde hair tied up in a tight bun and bright green eyes. Her left hand was covered almost entirely with a burn scar. The taller one’s hair was jet black and her eyes hazel, and as she sat, she looked at the other girl and made a sort of hand sign Rey didn’t recognize. They both wore the same kind of robes as Rey, but the taller one also wore a thick black choker that concealed a good portion of her neck.

The shorter one spoke first and said, “My name’s Dia. She’s Farren.”

Farren gave an acknowledging nod and made another hand sign.

“She says it’s nice to meet you,” Dia clarified.

That was when Rey understood. The First Order wasn’t keen on having soldiers with any sort of disability, so if she’d ever met a mute person before, she couldn’t remember it. She didn’t know what else to do, so she nodded back.

Dia smiled and said, “Sorry, I guess this seems pretty sudden, huh?”

Rey shrugged. “It’s okay. I just never expected anyone besides Ben to want to talk to me.”

Dia’s voice lowered a bit. “Well, you have Pierce and Eva to thank for that. They had everyone terrified of you as soon as they found out you were coming. But after what we just saw, we know they were full of it.”

Farren nodded and made more hand signs. Rey wished she could understand them.

“She says you’re not the first person they’ve tormented,” Dia translated. “But you’re the first to stand up to them.”

Dia leaned forward with her elbows on the table and her eyes fell to her tray. Farren’s hand came up to grip her shoulder, and Dia gave her a gentle smile.

“Most people are too afraid of them to try,” Dia went on. “But you’re not afraid of anything, are you?”

Rey blew out a laugh. “I’m definitely afraid of some things, just not a couple of bullies with no bite to back up their bark.”

Farren laughed, as well, and Dia slid a hand around her cup of water.

“I suppose you’ve dealt with worse,” Dia said thoughtfully. “Still, it was cruel of Pierce to throw all of that in your face. If Master Luke trusts you, that should be enough for everyone here.”

She knew Dia was only trying to be kind, but she also knew it wasn’t so simple.

_Or maybe a brother_, Eva said. _You bastards seem to love killing those_. She couldn’t have been more clear, and despite how cruel she’d been, Rey couldn’t hate her for it. All she could feel was sorrow, for she knew the pain of loss as well as Eva did. And Pierce. He acted rough and stoic, but he felt Eva’s pain as if it were his own. If that pain drove Eva to hate Rey, he would always hate her too.

And if their hatred was the price she had to pay to stay free of the First Order, she could accept that.

Farren’s hands moved again in rapid succession, and Rey looked to Dia for the translation.

A small smile curled on Dia’s lips. “She says she can get the blood out of that cat’s fur if you want her to. She used to work for a seamstress and she was in charge of keeping the clothes clean. I’ve never seen a stain she couldn’t get rid of, no matter how old.”

Rey remembered how hard she’d tried to get the blood stain off of that cat. She’d done it because she couldn’t bear the sight of the blood, but now, erasing it seemed like erasing what happened.

Farren’s hands moved, and Dia said, “She says she’ll be careful with it.”

That wasn’t the problem, but she could see how hard Farren and Dia were trying to be kind to her. She couldn’t bring herself to turn them down. She reached into the deepest pocket of her robes and drew the cat out. She slid it across the table and toward Farren, who picked it up and held it up closer to her face. She scanned over it for only a few seconds before she placed it back down and moved her hands again.

“She says the stain isn’t that bad,” Dia said. “She can probably have it cleaned by tomorrow or the day after at the latest.”

“Okay,” Rey answered, although she wasn’t in all that great of a hurry to get it back at the moment.

Farren slid the cat into her own pocket, and then picked up her fork. Rey had to admit that her own food was finally starting to look appetizing, so she decided she’d start eating again, as well. After she took her first bite, she saw Farren make another quick hand sign with her free hand.

“She wants me to ask if it would be okay for us to sit with you again,” Dia said, and Rey could tell by her voice that she wouldn’t be offended if she said no.

But she wasn’t going to.

“Yeah,” Rey answered. “It’s okay.”

They both smiled at her, and she didn’t miss when Dia slid her hand into Farren’s free one right before they let those hands fall under the table and out of sight. They all finished their breakfast with small bouts of conversation, and by the time Rey had cleaned her plate, she found she was completely comfortable with them. It was an odd feeling, but she certainly didn’t dislike it.

The cafeteria door opening drew her attention, and she was met with the sight of Ben walking in, pale-faced and looking very worried. His eyes fell on her almost immediately, and he approached the table.

“Rey?” Ben said frantically. “Are you all right? I heard there was some trouble with Pierce and Eva.”

Dia laughed. “Nothing to worry about, Ben. She took care of it, and Pierce’s nose is gonna be feeling it for at least the next two weeks.”

Rey cleared her throat and looked at the table, but Ben just laughed along with Dia.

“Well,” he said. “I guess I should have known better than to worry.”

Rey wanted to change the conversation, so she asked, “What’s going on, Ben?”

He shrugged. “Nothing’s going on. Jemma just asked me to bring you to her lab. She finished your eye late last night.”

She had completely forgotten about it until that moment, but she was more than ready to get on with it. She downed the rest of her water and took her tray over to the sink where they were supposed to be left.

When she walked back to the table she said, “It um… was nice talking to you. I’ll see you later.”

Farren nodded again and Dia said, “I hope so. I wanna see that eye.”

Rey smiled before turning to follow Ben out of the academy. He led her to a sky car that was parked nearby, and after they climbed inside, he started driving in what she knew was the direction of the General’s office. She still hadn’t grown bored of the view when she would fly over the city like this, and she was grinning like a fool within seconds.

While looking around, she glanced in Ben’s direction, and became immediately concerned when she caught a glimpse of his eyes. They were bloodshot with circles under them.

“Ben?” she said. “Are you all right?”

He nodded. “Nothing to concern yourself over, Rey.”

“Really? Because you look like you haven’t slept in days.”

He didn’t answer and kept his eyes on the windshield. Now that she was really thinking about it, Ben had been outside training well after everyone else had gone to bed. From the look of him now, that likely wasn’t the first time he’d done it.

She found herself genuinely worried for him, so she asked, “Why aren’t you getting any sleep?”

He still didn’t answer and pulled the car over to the top of a nearby building. Once the car was parked, he leaned his head back and blew out a breath. One of his hands came up to rub his eyes.

“I used to have help at the academy,” he said. “I don’t anymore, so I have to cover a lot more work by myself.”

Rey’s eyebrows narrowed. “Used to? What happened?”

A pained look came over his face and he flinched slightly as if she’d poked him with a needle.

“I’m sorry, Rey,” he said, putting his hands on the wheel. “It’s not fair of me to refuse to talk about this since I already know so much about you, but…”

She shook her head. “It’s okay.”

His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly and he said, “The loss is still fairly fresh, and I-”

“Ben,” she interrupted. “I said it’s okay. I get it. If it’s too hard to talk about, it’s too hard to talk about.”

His eyes fell and he stared at the floor of the car for several long seconds. She didn’t say anything, more than willing to wait for him to collect himself. If she had known it was such a sore spot, she never would have asked him about it to begin with.

“Thank you for being so understanding,” he finally said. “I’ll tell you one day, if you like, but I still need more time.”

The pain in his voice stung, and Rey was compelled to reach over and put a hand on his shoulder. He glanced at her, and he looked just as shocked at her actions as she was.

She swiftly pulled her hand back and averted her eye. “You, um… don’t ever have to tell me if you don’t want to. But, once I’m trained enough, I’ll help you if that’s okay.”

She heard Ben hum, followed by the car starting to levitate again.

He shifted the car into gear and said, “That would _definitely_ be okay. I don’t particularly enjoy training in the dark.”

Rey smiled to herself as Ben raised the car away from the roof and started driving again. They arrived at the same building he’d taken her to when she’d seen the General, but when they went inside he led her to a different part of the building. Most of the rooms they passed were offices and waiting areas, but one of them was something completely different.

Through the window on the closed door, Rey saw a hospital bed surrounded by various medical machines, with a single droid tending to the patient. She couldn’t help but stop to look. The patient was a young man who didn’t look to be any older than Ben. He was asleep, with an oxygen mask over his face. His brown hair shifted slightly as the droid started to roll him onto his side. Rey’s expression wilted at the realization. How long had the poor man been in a coma, she wondered.

“Rey?” came Ben’s voice.  
  
When she turned to him, she saw the same pained look on his face that she’d seen while they were in the car. He likely hadn’t made the face on purpose, and as much as she didn’t want to understand, she did. What she wouldn’t have given to be oblivious at that moment.

He cleared his throat and said, “I don’t mean to rush you, but I’m afraid I have other duties to attend to.”

He had tried to sound polite, but there was a slight hint of irritation behind those words, so she immediately went to his side. She said nothing else to him as he led her further down the hallway, but she couldn’t stop herself from wondering who that man was to Ben.

They stopped only a few more doors down, and Ben tapped on one of the doors. It took a few seconds, but the door eventually opened, and Rey saw a red-faced Jemma standing in the doorway, drying her hands with a towel.

She smiled brightly and said, “Good morning, Rey. Come on inside and have a seat.”

Rey did as she was bid while Jemma lingered at the door. A quick look around the room showed that she was, indeed, in a laboratory. There were test tubes and chemistry equipment on one table, and all manner of metal parts lying on another table nearby. Rey found a chair beside that table and sat down.

“Thank you for fetching her, Ben,” Jemma said. “Now will you please go home and get some sleep before you fall over?”

Ben grinned slightly. “I suppose. I’ll see you later, Rey. Jemma.”

Rey gave him a quick wave before he disappeared back down the hallway. Jemma closed the door and turned to Rey, a smile still on her face.

“You’re looking much better today, Rey.”

Rey gave a gentle smile in return. “I couldn’t have looked much worse.”

Jemma laughed lightly before moving over to the table. She slid open a drawer on the front of it, and pulled out a small black box. When she lifted the lid, Rey’s remaining eye widened at the sight of the smooth metal one sitting on a small cushion inside of the box, as if it were a valuable piece of jewelry.

She picked it up gingerly and placed it on the table before putting her finger over what looked like a small sensor on the top of it. Rey jumped a little when a line of metal about the thickness of a twig shot out of the back. The end of the line sprouted into a handful of tiny wires.

“Now this eye should function exactly as your old eye did, save for one small difference,” Jemma explained. “The metal getting wet could cause issues, so this eye will effectively deactivate the tear-duct on this side of your face.”

Rey hadn’t considered that, but she didn’t have a problem with it. It wasn’t as if she’d planned on crying anytime soon.

“Okay,” Rey answered. “So what happens now?”

Jemma picked the eye back up. “Now, I slide the eye into the empty socket, and it should automatically attach itself. But I need to warn you, the sensation will _not_ be pleasant.”

It wasn’t pleasant to cut her old eye out, either, so if she could handle that, she decided she could handle this.

“All right,” Rey said. “Do it.”

Jemma nodded and reached into the drawer again. This time, she drew out a small, cylindrical container filled with a clear, thick substance. She dipped her fingers into it and coated the smooth surface of the eye with it before carefully picking it back up. Meanwhile, Rey untied the bandage from around her head and let it fall away, exposing the empty socket.

She gripped onto the arms of the chair tightly as Jemma pulled back the skin around the socket and began to slowly slide the eye inside. The feeling of the eye going in was discomforting, but as soon as it locked in place, she had to squeeze the arms of the chair tighter. That line of metal as well as the wires were squirming around inside of her head, and while she knew it was just attempting to attach itself, it made her stomach turn with such intensity she thought she might lose the breakfast she’d just eaten.

After a few more seconds, the squirming stopped, only to be followed immediately by horribly painful jolt that shot through her entire head. She let out a cry before she could even think of holding it back and slammed her eyelids shut as she doubled over. Her hands were gripping the sides of her head tightly when she felt Jemma’s hand rest softly on her back.

“I’m sorry, Rey,” she said. “Attaching prosthetics to nerve endings is always the worst part, but I promise that’s the end of it. You should be able to see through that eye now.” 

Rey gave herself a few more seconds to let her head stop throbbing before she raised it again and let her eyelids raise. It was just as Jemma said. Half of her vision wasn’t dark anymore, and it was much more of a relief than Rey imagined it would be.

“Thanks, Jemma,” Rey said. “I think training will be easier now.”

Jemma smiled again and picked up a nearby towel to wipe the lubricant off of her hand.

“Speaking of your training,” Jemma said. “Next time you see Master Luke, would you mind telling him that his hand is long overdue for a tune-up? Honestly, the skin will start falling off soon if he isn’t careful.”

Rey had forgotten until that moment that Luke had a prosthetic hand. With so many new things happening in her life lately, it was becoming more and more difficult to remember all of the things she’d learned while with the First Order.

“I’ll tell him,” Rey answered. “But I don’t know if he’ll listen. He’s been pretty worried about the whole ‘traitor’ thing.”

Jemma’s expression wilted into sorrow and she looked at the floor.

“Yes,” she said. “The General and Han have been worrying themselves to pieces over it, as well. Jacen has been in that room down the hallway for months now and nothing has happened, but they still check in on him at least five times a day.”

“Jacen?”

Jemma looked surprised. “Oh. Did Ben and Master Luke not tell you about him?”

Rey shook her head. “I’ve not made a habit of prying, either.”

Jemma’s sorrowful expression returned and she dropped the towel on the table before turning her back to it and sitting down.

Her eyes didn’t leave the floor when she said, “Jacen Solo is his full name. That is all I will say on the matter. It isn’t my place to tell you more.”

Rey’s chest stung. She knew that the General and Han Solo were married, but she didn’t know until this moment that they had any children. Ben’s cousin. No wonder he looked so upset. She was fine with not knowing more than that, at the moment. If she learned the truth, she wanted it to be from Ben.

“It’s all right,” Rey said. “I’ll leave you to your work.”

She gave Jemma a quick nod and went for the door. As soon as she opened it, she was halted by Jemma saying, “Rey.”

Rey glanced over her shoulder. “Yeah?”

The smile had returned to Jemma’s face when she said, “Poe should be almost finished with his rehab for the day. The building is directly across from this one.”

Rey looked away so that Jemma wouldn’t see her embarrassed expression and quickly left the room, closing the door behind her. She hadn’t thought that she would get to see Poe today, but now that she knew she could, she found herself rushing out of the building and toward the one Jemma had told her about.

Through the glass windows of the building, she saw that it was definitely a rehabilitation clinic. She was able to see several men and women either walking on crutches or moving around in wheelchairs. But now that she was here, she didn’t know what to do. Did she wait outside? Or should she go in and ask for him? Both options made her heart race, so she went with the one where she didn’t have to interact with anyone and took a seat on a nearby bench.

The minutes passed far too slowly, and she only felt more and more awkward as they did. Of all the things she was dealing with right now, she both loved and hated that this was one of them. Falling for someone hadn’t been on the agenda when she decided to escape the First Order, but after the previous night, she knew she wasn’t going to be able to stop seeing him.

It had just been dinner, but if she’d ever had a night better than that one, she couldn’t remember it.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the front doors of the building open, and she swallowed at the sight of Poe being pushed out of them by an older nurse with silvery hair. Their lips were moving, but she couldn’t hear what they were saying. He hadn’t noticed her yet, and since he wouldn’t see her staring, she didn’t bother trying to stop herself. He really was a sight, and she knew that he knew it. There was no way he didn’t.

After a few more seconds, the nurse turned to leave, and Poe looked ahead of him. His eyes locked onto hers, and despite being so far away, she could tell he’d noticed the new eye. He pushed a button on the chair and it swiftly floated him toward her.

“Well,” Poe said with a big smile on his face. “Look at you. That’s some of the best work I’ve ever seen from Jemma. I swear there’s nothing she can’t build.”

Rey smiled back. “No kidding. I’m actually surprised at how well it works. I can’t even tell the difference.”

He moved the chair even closer so that it was almost touching the bench she was sitting on. Her first instinct was to reach for his hand, but she held herself. She didn’t want to appear too aggressive and clingy.

“You have training with Luke today, right?” he asked.

She nodded, and she had to stifle a gasp when she felt his warm hand drape over top of hers just as it had the night before. She moved to grip it back, and she hated how quickly something so trivial left her melting into a puddle like a fool.

“How much time do you have before you have to go?”

She forced her lips apart and answered, “About an hour and a half.”

He tugged at her hand gently. “Well, good. That’s plenty of time.”

She stood up and followed him as he started leading her away from the bench.

“Plenty of time for what?” she asked.

He shrugged. “You’ll just have to wait and see won’t you?”

She normally wasn’t a huge fan of surprises, but she was definitely excited while she followed Poe through the city. They turned down a bustling street and most of the people were kind enough to step out of the way without being asked to.

The smell hit her first, and then her sight was suddenly flooded by a wider assortment of colors than she’d ever seen. The store was absolutely filled to the brim with more flowers than she could possibly count. They were sitting inside of various vases, and some of them were even wrapped in paper.

Poe stopped the chair when they reached the door, and he laughed softly.

She looked down at him. “What?”

“I’ve just never seen anyone light up so much over flowers.”

While his words were making her cheeks burn, it was also comforting to know that he could so easily read her emotions on her face. She never wanted to hide them again.

“Well?” he said. “You gonna go inside?”

Go inside? She didn’t know why it hadn’t occurred to her to do that, but it was an attractive idea. She gently let go of his hand and stepped through the front door. The already potent smell became stronger, and she was momentarily overwhelmed by it. Every flower smelled different, but every smell was amazing. She moved down the aisles, and she couldn’t help wishing she had more time. She could have stayed here all day.

At the end of one of the aisles, she found Poe waiting. She’d been so lost in the flowers, she hadn’t even noticed him come in.

“What do you think?” he asked.

“I think I’d live here if they’d let me,” she answered, sounding way more enthusiastic than she’d meant to.

He chuckled. “I thought you’d say something like that.”

He motioned for her to follow, and he led her up to the old cashier, who was all smiles as they approached.

“Hey there, Poe,” the old man said. “This her?”

Rey’s eyebrows raised, and she looked down at Poe with a questioning gaze.

“I only told him that you like flowers,” Poe quickly told her. “And he was supposed to put something to the side for you.”

Rey looked back to the cashier as he smiled and said, “I did.”

He bent down behind the counter only to come back up holding a flower pot with a tiny green sapling poking out of the soil. He slid it across the counter toward her, and she briefly hesitated to take it.

She turned to Poe again. “Really?”

He nodded. “Yeah, really.”

The cashier pushed it a tiny bit closer, which stole Rey’s attention back, and said, “Now Jakku flowers need a ton of water, so you’re gonna have to make sure to water it at least four times a day, maybe five to be safe. But do that and keep it in the sun, and it’ll bloom in no time at all.”

Jakku? Did that mean…? She’d thrown away the crushed petals of that flower she’d picked along with her old clothes, and she hadn’t thought to ever see that type of flower again. She finally reached out to take the pot and hugged it to her chest.

“Um… thank you,” she said to the cashier.

“Thank him,” he said, pointing at Poe. “I just grow ‘em. He paid for it.”

She did want to thank Poe, but she didn’t want to do it in front of a stranger. She glanced in Poe’s direction, asking with her eyes if they could leave. He nodded at her and held a hand out. She passed the pot into one arm and took his hand.

“Thanks a lot, Jorge,” Poe said. “Take it easy.”

The old man waved as she and Poe exited the shop and he led her down the sidewalk and toward a small park that was right down the road. There was no fountain or flower beds, but there were plenty of benches for them to sit on and a path to walk.

They made their way to one of the benches and Rey sat down before placing the flower pot right next to her. Poe parked his chair beside her, and she was about to thank him for the flower when she saw that he suddenly had a very serious look on his face.

She squeezed his hand lightly and asked, “Poe? Are you all right?”

He didn’t look at her when he answered, “Yeah. I’m great. Seriously.”

He said that and his tone told her he was telling the truth, but the serious look was still there. It was making her afraid, and she didn’t like it.

He finally looked at her and said, “I’m not the type to beat around the bush, Rey, so there’s something we need to talk about if we’re gonna keep meeting like this.”

Her other hand clenched into a fist and she was more nervous than she’d ever been when she said, “Okay.”

His grip on her hand became tighter. “I’m getting this idea that there’s something here, but I need to know if that’s just wishful thinking.”

She had to force her mouth close to keep it from falling all the way open. Was he…? No. There was no way she’d heard that right.

“Wishful thinking?” she shakily asked.

His lips curled up. “Yeah. I can’t believe you’re surprised. I wasn’t even trying to hide it.”

_You were flirting from the very moment I met you_. She held back from saying it, but she wanted to shout it in his face. There was no way she’d have been able to tell that he was being serious even if she wasn’t socially stunted.

“But… why?” she asked genuinely. “There are millions of women out there who aren’t as messed up as me.”

He shrugged, a playful gleam in his eyes. “What can I say? I’m a masochist.”

She had to stop her eyes from rolling in annoyance. She knew he was just joking, but she was perfectly serious and she needed him to be. He was dropping a really big bomb on her.

“Poe, I’m-”

“Look, I get it,” he interrupted. “You’ve been through a lot, and there’s a lot going on right now. If you don't wanna jump right into this, it's okay. I just wanted to know if I had a chance.”

Before she could stop it, a laugh pushed its way out of her throat. Wasn’t _she_ the one who needed to be afraid of not having a chance?

“_A chance_,” she said, doing a poor impression of him. “I think I like you better when you’re arrogant.”

The grin that he showed was more solemn than sarcastic. “It’s mostly an act, believe me.”

He turned the chair so that it was facing her full-on, and brought his other hand forward to clasp hers between both of his.

“Seriously, Rey, I’m all in on this,” he said without a hint of humor in his voice. “I know you’re gonna need time, but if you’re willing to give this a shot, I’m willing to take it slow. I won’t do anything unless you tell me it’s okay.”

When he put it that way, it didn’t sound quite so daunting.

“So, what?” she asked. “We just don’t see other people and keep meeting up like this until I’m less of a basket case?”

He let out a proper laugh and his hands closed a little tighter around hers.

“That’s one way to put it, I guess,” he answered. “But I don’t think you’re a basket case. I won’t drop my crap on you right now, but I know what it’s like to not have anyone. Back then, I wasn’t in any better shape than you are right now.”

He leaned forward so that his face was closer to hers. “And believe me, if someone who looked like _you _had tried to have this same conversation with me then, you can bet I’d have been just as freaked out.”

He followed that up with a wink, and she couldn’t stop her eyes from rolling this time. He just couldn’t resist, could he? But as much as it irritated her, his inability to take things too seriously was one of the things she liked the most about him.

She leaned forward, as well, and said, “All right, Poe. I’m all in, too.”

If she didn’t know better, she’d have thought she saw a sparkle in his eyes. She leaned her head closer so that their foreheads were pressing together.

“I can’t believe you remembered that damn flower.”

She thought she might faint when he brought both of his hands up to rest against the sides of her neck.

“It’d be pretty hard to forget,” he answered. “That was the first time you looked even remotely happy.”

He was doing it on purpose. She knew he was. She also knew that she was falling for it hook, line, and sinker. So she let herself fall for it and leaned in even more. As soon as she kissed him, he froze, and that was when she knew he hadn’t been lying about his arrogance being an act. But it was incredibly charming.

After she pulled back, she looked into his stunned eyes and said, “I’ll go see them.”

It took him a few seconds to register, but once he did, he asked, “See who?”

“My family,” she answered. “Will you come with me?”

She hadn’t thought his smile could get brighter, but she could count his teeth as he leaned back in. His kiss lasted longer than hers had, but she didn’t mind. She couldn’t remember anything in her life ever feeling this good.

Their lips came apart and he said, “You bet I will.”


	8. Chapter 8

The news came during Rey’s training with Luke, as if she didn’t have enough things distracting her after what happened with Poe. Han Solo and Lando Calrissian had pooled their knowledge and resources to track down the man known as Armitage Hux. He had been less than cooperative, so they’d been forced to use the Republic military to apprehend him. They’d brought him back in the Millennium Falcon, and he was sitting in a cell in the Republic’s maximum security prison while Rey was trying and failing to eat her breakfast.

Even Dia and Farren were unable to keep her mind off of what was going on. She’d told Poe that she would go see her family, and she’d meant it when she said it. But it was only now that she realized she’d agreed to see them for the sake of making Poe happy, not because she was actually comfortable with it. Her every muscle was tense and her stomach wouldn’t stop turning. How was she supposed to do this?

“Rey?” came Dia’s voice.

Rey looked up from her sparsely-eaten food and saw that both of the young women had terribly worried expressions. She’d managed to tell them that the capture of Hux would likely expedite the process of finding her family, but that was the most she’d been able to force out before the nervousness had rendered her nearly as mute as Farren.

Farren’s hands moved more slowly than normal, and Dia translated, “She wants to know if you’re all right.”

Rey placed down her fork and leaned forward with her elbows on the table. She inhaled a breath and heavily blew it out. It didn’t help much, but it was enough for her to be able to form words again.

“I don’t know,” Rey answered. “I should be happy that I might be getting to see my family sooner than I thought, but…”

Dia frowned. “But? What’s worrying you?”

Rey had to swallow to keep a knot from forming in her throat and her hands shook terribly when she replied, “My family is gonna be expecting to see the girl who left with the First Order, but I’m not her. I may as well be a stranger to them. They’re definitely gonna be strangers to me. What am I supposed to say to them?”

Dia looked at Farren when her hands moved more quickly. Dia’s eyes lit up a little before she turned back to Rey and said, “She says you mentioned yesterday that your family might be being abused by their master. Even if you’re not what they expect, they’re gonna at least know that you care for them since you’re trying to rescue them from something like that.”

She hadn’t thought about it that way, but she couldn’t say it made her feel all that much better. As she was, it would be more like a stranger rescuing them than their own daughter, so how much she cared was hardly relevant.

“Plus,” Dia said, pausing momentarily as if to gather her thoughts. “You’re their daughter, and you’ve been gone for a long time. Even if it’s not perfect, I think they’re gonna be really happy to see you.”

Rey’s eyes fell back to her tray, and after thinking about it for a few moments, she had to admit that what Dia said made sense. She didn’t have children, but after the woman in the village literally gave her life trying to save her daughter, she knew how strong a parent’s love could be. Remembering the event sent a sharp pain through her chest, so she quickly shook the thought from her mind. Not today. She couldn’t afford to deal with that today.

Her communicator beeping provided her with a much-needed distraction, and she pushed the answer button.

“Rey?” came the voice of General Organa.

Rey found herself straightening up even though the General couldn’t actually see her.

“General?” she answered.

“I’m sorry to call you out so early in the morning, but we’ve been interrogating him all night, and we’ve finally managed to convince Hux to talk,” the General said. “If you’re up for it, I’d like to see if he recognizes you. It would make finding your family a lot easier if he does.”

_Convinced_. Rey had an idea that it was closer to a bribe, but she said nothing about it.

“Okay,” Rey said. “Where should I go?”

“I’ll send C-3PO to pick you up,” she answered. “He’s a golden Protocol Droid with a silver leg, and he’ll be driving a red sky car. He should be there within the next fifteen minutes.”

“Um… all right,” she said awkwardly before she ended the call.

Fifteen minutes. If she’d actually planned on finishing her breakfast, the short time frame might have bothered her, but she couldn’t bear to take another bite. She said goodbye to Dia and Farren before she emptied her tray and left the academy to wait outside.

She found the droid was very punctual as he arrived right when he was supposed to. The passenger door to the car opened, and she stepped inside.

“Hello,” C-3PO said, “A pleasure to meet you. I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations.”

Rey smiled nervously. “Yes… I know. The General told me.”

“Oh, wonderful,” he answered. “She also told me that you have chosen the name Rey. I’m to bring you to the prison. Are you fully prepared?”

‘Fully’ wasn’t even close to the right word, but she just nodded. There was no point in dragging this out.

“Very well,” C-3PO said right before they took off toward their destination.

As they were flying, she stole a glance over in C-3PO’s direction. The First Order had many droids, but none quite so advanced as a Protocol Droid. It left her wondering what all he could do.

“So…” she said. “What are you duties for the General?”

C-3PO’s eyes blinked yellow before he answered, “I have many functions, and I serve the General in many different ways, including simple cleaning duties, transporting dignitaries, and translating. I am fluent in over six million forms of communication.”

Six million. Rey didn’t even know six million languages existed. But then, she’d had a very limited view of the universe up until recently. She decided she wouldn’t bother the droid with any more questions and stayed silent until they arrived at the prison.

Her mouth hung open as she stared up at the tall building. It had to be at least fifty stories, and every window was barred save for the ones on the bottom floor. She followed C-3PO as he led her past at least a dozen armed guards. If there were this many on just the bottom floor, how many were there going to be on the rest of the floors?

She followed C-3PO to an elevator, and they rode it up fifteen floors. When they exited the elevator, she found her question answered when she saw a guard standing at the door of every cell. Maximum security was right. She couldn’t see anyone ever escaping from this place, no matter who they were.

C-3PO led her down a hallway and past several cells before they turned down another hallway with three regular doors followed by a wall that was made up of a long pane of glass. They stopped at the third door, and C-3PO turned back to her.

“You will find the General within, Ms. Rey,” he said politely. “I’m afraid I must return to my other duties now. Have a pleasant day.”

She gave him an acknowledging nod as she stepped out of his way and let him leave. As the droid’s clanking footsteps faded, she turned to the door and had to take another deep breath.

Get it together, Rey. This is nothing compared to re-education. Remember that.

She turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. She came face-to-face with not only the General but also Jemma and an older man that Rey didn’t recognize. His skin was a lighter shade of brown than hers, and he had a black mustache. He was dressed completely differently than anyone she’d encountered in this city. He almost looked regal.

“Rey, thank you for coming,” the General said right before she motioned toward the man at her side. “This is Lando Calrissian. He was the one who helped Han track down Hux.”

Lando stepped forward and held a hand out to Rey. “He was a slippery son-of-a-bitch. But, unfortunately for him, not slippery enough.”

Rey took his hand, expecting him to shake it. Instead, he had her cheeks burning when he lowered his head and placed a gentle kiss right behind her knuckles. A nervous laugh escaped her throat before he released her hand and moved to stand back beside the General.

“You’ll have to forgive Lando,” the General said with a playful grin. “He forgets sometimes that he’s old enough to be your grandfather.”

He shrugged. “I might be old, but my eyes still work just fine, General.”

The General rolled her eyes and held her arm out to her left. “Rey, if you’ll come over here, please.”

Rey did as she was asked, and when she was standing beside the General, she felt the old woman’s arm come around her shoulders as she used her other hand to point to a large window. Behind it, Rey was able to see the pale face and red hair of who she could only assume was Hux, cuffed to a table in the middle of the room. He wore casual clothes similar to Han Solo, who was sitting with the back of a chair in front of his chest while a blue and white droid was parked right next to Hux’s chair.

The General stepped away from Rey and tapped on the glass, which grabbed the attention of Solo. He looked at the glass and gave an acknowledging nod before turning back to Hux.

“All right, listen bud,” Solo said. “Here in a minute, you’re gonna look through that glass and tell us if you recognize who you see there. You ought to. She was one of the slaves you gave to the First Order.”

Hux smirked. “Do you realize how many slaves I gave them? Do you really think I’m going to remember one face?”

The smirk quickly dropped from his face when the blue and white droid prodded him in the leg with a taser that was sticking out of its side. Hux grunted in pain and glared at the little droid, who started beeping in a way that almost sounded like a laugh.

Solo grinned and said, “Easy there, R2. He’s gonna cooperate. Aren’t you, Hux?”

Hux didn’t answer, but he turned his eyes toward the glass, the anger still plain on his face. The General pushed a few buttons on a keypad that was right next to the window, and while nothing happened on Rey’s side of the glass, judging by the shocked expression on Hux’s face, something happened from his side.

As nervous as she still was, she met his eyes without hesitation. The nerves were only there because of him, because he helped the First Order steal her from her master and her family. No matter how anxious she might be, she’d be damned if she was gonna let him see it.

After a few more seconds, Hux averted his eyes and looked at the table.

“I know her,” he said softly. “Birth name Isha Nakai, given the number RA-2187. I can’t believe Phasma let that one get away.”

All at once, Rey couldn’t breathe. Her name. Her _real_ name. For the first time, her conditioning wasn’t enough to help her maintain her stoic expression. She felt the General put a hand on her shoulder, but she wouldn’t look away from Hux. She couldn’t.

Solo scoffed. “So much for you not remembering.”

Hux shrugged. “She was a special case. I almost had to fight a damn Jedi in order to get her. I think she was his apprentice, or something, and he really didn’t want to let her leave, even when she was begging me to take her. I’d seen a lot of slaves go willingly, but no one ever wanted to go as badly as she did. She kept carrying on and on about wanting to free her little brother.”

A knot formed in her throat before she could stop it. She only barely registered that Hux had just proven Ben right in his assertion that someone had trained her in the past. Her mind was focused entirely on two words: little brother. She didn’t remember him, and she wasn’t even going to bother trying to. It didn’t matter.

All that mattered was that Isha Nakai had been so desperate to save him that she walked right into the First Order’s trap without hesitation. Rey may have been a poor, broken husk of what Isha once was, but she had to finish what Isha started. She owed it to that girl who was willing to sacrifice everything and her little brother who was likely still suffering whatever she’d been trying to save him from.

She heard Solo start demanding that Hux give them the location of her family, but she’d heard enough. She shrugged off the General’s hand and went for the door, only barely hearing Jemma call out to her before she closed it behind her. No one followed her, and she was grateful for that. She didn’t want to see any of them. There was only one person she wanted to see right now.

She raised her communicator and cycled through until she found his number and sent out the signal. It only took two rings before he answered.

“Hey, Rey,” Poe said, sounding smug as ever. “Missing me already?”

More than you can possibly know.

“Are you busy?” she asked, trying her hardest not to sound as stressed as she felt.

“Nah,” he answered. “I’m just over at the port making sure that the moron they have filling in for me doesn’t mess with anything in my X-Wing.”

If she hadn’t felt so wretched she might have smiled.

“Is it okay if I come over there?”

“Like I’m gonna say no,” he answered. “I’ll be in the front.”

She didn’t dare speak another word. The discomfort was only growing worse by the second, and if she spoke again, she feared it coming through in her tone. So she hung up without saying goodbye and went immediately outside to hail a skycar.

*****

She stepped through the doors of the port and found Poe waiting at the front just as he promised. He rode his chair up to her and while he was smiling, something about it seemed off.

“Well, that was fast,” he said with a jovial tone. “Why don’t we go over there? It’s a little quieter.”

He motioned toward a small waiting area where there were significantly fewer people. She didn’t answer and simply followed him. She sat in the first chair he brought her to, and she was about to apologize for calling out of nowhere. But then she jolted. She didn’t know what had made her jolt until she saw Poe pulling his hand away, shock plain on his face.

He was just trying to hold your hand, Rey. What’s the matter with you?

“Damn,” he said, sounding worried. “I knew something was wrong when you called me, but I didn’t think you were _this_ shaken up. What happened?”

He had no idea how loaded of a question he’d just asked. She blew out a breath and told him everything she’d just learned. He listened without interruption, and when she was finished, he reached for her hand again. This time, she didn’t jolt.

“Okay, yeah,” he said. “That’s a lot to hear at once.”

She didn’t know how to answer, so she just held onto his hand. They were both silent for a few moments, but Rey didn’t mind the quiet. 

“So,” he said, “do you want to start going by your real name now?”

She didn’t miss the hint of sadness in his voice when he asked that question. It was a question that didn’t even require a second of thought.

“Rey is real enough,” she answered. “Isha Nakai died a long time ago.”

While he tried to smile, his eyes were still crestfallen. “Is that what you’re gonna tell your little brother?”

He couldn’t have known how badly that question stung. It stung badly enough that she could feel her eye misting over.

“I don’t know, Poe,” she said desperately. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to deal with _any_ of this. I just know that I can’t look my family in the eye and tell them I’m Isha Nakai. I don’t know her any more than they know Rey.”

She saw what looked like guilt flash over his face before he tugged at her hand in an attempt to draw her closer. She yielded and felt one of his hands on the back of her head as he guided her toward his shoulder. It was amazing how much better she felt when he then wrapped that arm around her and held her as tightly as he could with his chair between them.

“You’re right,” he said. “I want to make this easier for you somehow, but there’s nothing I can do.”

She shook her head. “This is enough.”

“Not for me, it isn’t,” he answered. “You think I like seeing you like this? You’ve been through more than enough.”

She had to smile at the irony of the situation. All of his ranting about not being able to help her was helping her immensely. The tightness that had been in her chest since Hux said her birth name had almost completely vanished, and her tears had dried before they could fall.

One of her hands came up to rest on the side of his neck and she raised her head away from his shoulder. He turned his head to look at her at the same time, and she kissed him before he could say anything. He didn’t participate as enthusiastically as he did the night before, but he didn’t reject her, either.

He was the one to pull away first, and when he did, she told him, “Stop worrying so much, Poe. Knowing you’re here helps way more than you think it does.”

While he didn’t look entirely comforted by that, he said, “Well, I’m not going anywhere, Rey. You can trust me on that.”

As if she didn’t already trust him with everything. If she didn’t, she never would have kissed him in the first place. She hadn’t thought to ever trust someone this much, but here she was.

A loud voice echoing from behind her drew the attention of both her and Poe, and when she turned, she saw a man being led away from one of the many docking bays by two Republic soldiers. The man’s skin was almost the same shade of brown as Rey’s, and his eyes were alive with rage while his cheeks were soaked with tears.

Poe’s grip tightened on her hand to an almost painful degree, and when she looked back at him, he said, “Hey, let’s get out of here.”

If he was trying to sound natural, he failed. Not only were his eyes locked on the man, they were bugged.

“Poe?” she said. “What’s going on.”

He shook his head. “Nothing, we just need to go. Now.”

She didn’t like this. What was he trying to lead her away from?

Gasps echoed from around her when the man she’d been watching suddenly grabbed one of the soldiers by the collar of his shirt and threw him on his back.

“Don’t give me that crap!” he shouted at the soldier he’d attacked while the other tried desperately to hold him back. “The General swore to us that Jakku would be safe! The Republic was supposed to protect them! Damn you all! She was eight!”

The tightness in her chest not only returned, but it was so painful that she thought she might crack in two. She remembered every person that had been in that small village on Jakku, and only one of them had looked young enough to be eight years old.

She turned away. She had to. She also had to force herself to tune him out. She couldn’t hear any more. If she did, she was going to fall apart, right here in the middle of the port.

“Rey,” Poe said shakily. “I’m sorry. He wasn’t supposed to be arriving until later today. I didn’t think…”

She wasn’t angry with him. She had no right to be. None of this was his fault. But right now his words were little more than noise. She pulled her hand out of his grip and walked away without a word. She heard him calling after her, but she couldn’t go back to him right now, no matter how much he might want her to.

*****

She ignored every call until it became unbearable to hear the ringing anymore and she shut off her communicator. If it wasn’t Poe calling, it was Luke or Ben. Jemma and the General had even tried to contact her, but she ignored them, too. It was evening before she decided she would probably be able to return to her room at the academy without anyone looking for her there.

The smells of the food from dinner wafted through the entryway, but despite not eating all day, she still had no stomach for it. She passed a couple of trainees on her way up to her room, but she didn’t register who they were or if they’d even said anything. All her mind could register were the words of that poor, grieving father and the image of his family being mowed down. While _she_ had done little more than _not_ shoot at them too.

She closed herself in her room, but being within those walls didn’t have the comforting effect she’d hoped they would have. The quiet only made it easier for her to keep hearing the man’s voice. She went to her bed and flopped down onto it.

As she fell, she caught a glimpse of the flower sitting in her windowsill. Poe had been kind enough to buy her a small gardening droid that could be programmed to water the flower when Rey wasn’t able to be there. The silver droid was sitting on her dresser, powered down, and she decided it had the right idea. Her dreams hadn’t been pleasant, but they couldn’t be any worse than this reality.

But just as she went to close her eyes, she heard a gentle tapping at her door. Her heart started racing as her first thought was that Poe or one of the others had come to her door to try to see her. So she used her stealth training to move silently as she approached the door and looked out of the peephole. She was more than a little shocked to see Farren standing there without Dia.

She pulled the door open, and Farren waved with one hand while the other was behind her back.

Rey’s dry throat made her words come out ragged as she said, “Um… Hi, Farren. What’s going on?”

Farren smiled as she drew her other arm out from behind her back, and Rey felt as if she’d been stabbed in the chest when she saw what was sitting in Farren’s hand. The stuffed cat. Tomorrow or the day after, Dia said. It was just Rey’s misfortune that Farren was so punctual.

The tears erupted from her eye before she could think to stop them, and her hand flew to her mouth as she almost immediately lost control of her breathing. Farren’s eyes widened as she slid the cat into the pocket of her robes and stepped into the room. She quickly closed the door behind her, and her hands were on Rey’s shoulders before Rey even registered it.

Rey felt herself being led over to the bed, and she didn’t have the presence of mind to do anything but allow it. Once she was sitting, Farren’s hands cupped her face and she tilted Rey’s head up so that their eyes were meeting. Farren couldn’t speak, but those eyes were pleading with Rey to tell her what was wrong. But the knot in Rey’s throat was too big and the pain in her chest was too immense. She couldn’t form the words.

After a few seconds, Farren seemed to get the idea and stepped closer to Rey. She wrapped her arms around her and pulled Rey’s head against her chest. Rey couldn’t have fought it even if she’d wanted to, and she didn’t want to. It had taken until this moment for her to realize that she wasn’t going to be able to get through this alone.

So she let it out, all of it. Every nasty feeling she’d had since Finn was shot down poured out in the sobs she released into Farren’s chest. And Farren stayed there, keeping her arms wrapped around Rey tightly and securely. Farren was like a guardian angel, showing up exactly when Rey needed someone, even when Rey didn’t initially realize that was what she needed.

She didn’t know how long she went on for, but when she felt the tightness in her chest lessen and the knot in her throat fade away, she finally managed to force out the words she wanted to say.

“The little girl who owned that cat…” Rey said painfully. “She was killed by my unit along with the rest of the people in that village. And I just… stood there. Her mother was trying so hard to protect her, and I just let them both die.”

Farren’s hands came down to cup her face again, and she made Rey look at her. The look in Farren’s eyes was stern when she pointed at Rey and then mouthed a single word.

_Outnumbered._

Rey knew that logically. Even if she’d tried to save those people, there was no way she could have. She might have taken down two or three of the other Stormtroopers before the rest of them turned on her and gunned her down, if Kylo Ren hadn’t gotten her first. But that didn’t even remotely stem the guilt.

Rey shook her head and said, “Even so, that little girl… her father lost a wife and a daughter. Now I’m supposed to just go back to my family so that I can have something that I helped take away from him?”

Farren lowered her hands to Rey’s shoulders and shook her once. Rey didn’t try to hide her confusion, and she saw Farren mouth another word.

_Yes._

Another tear leaked from Rey’s eye. “Why? I don’t deserve it.”

Farren’s eyes narrowed before she looked over her shoulder at Rey’s desk. She went to it and started digging around for a pen. She found one quickly enough and also pulled out a piece of paper. After scratching down the message, she pressed the paper to her chest with one hand.

She turned back to Rey and raised her other hand to the back of her neck. Rey watched as Farren’s black choker fell away, and she audibly gasped at the sight of an ugly, jagged scar running horizontally across Farren’s throat. Farren squeezed the choker in her hand as she turned over the piece of paper. Rey read a simple message.

_Did I ‘deserve’ this?_

Rey’s immediate instinct was to shout, ‘Of course, not!’ but she quickly realized that Farren’s question was rhetorical. She was trying to make Rey see something that should have been obvious to her. The universe doesn’t care what anyone ‘deserves.’ If it did, that little girl would still be alive and Kylo Ren would be the one dead on Jakku.

Rey’s hands clenched, and she exhaled heavily as she came to the conclusion that Farren was right. Worrying about what she deserved was getting her nowhere. Isha Nakai's little brother didn’t ‘deserve’ whatever he was going through, and she still needed to save him.

Her attention was piqued when Farren reached into her pocket again and drew out the cat. This time, Rey didn’t flinch at the sight of it. This time, she reached out and took it. Before she could lift it out of Farren’s hand, Farren pressed her other hand over top of Rey’s and mouthed another word.

_Remember._

Rey didn’t need to be told twice. She’d already planned to keep the cat around so that she would never forget that little girl, but now she would keep it for another reason, as well. She would keep it as motivation to never let something like that happen again as long as she was able to prevent it.

Farren let go of Rey’s hand, and Rey took the cat. She looked down at the fluffy creature and felt more like she was looking at an old friend than something that would hurt her. She placed the cat on the nightstand nearby, only to be jolted to attention by Farren hooking her communicator around her other wrist. She shoved the ear-pieces into Rey’s hand and mouthed a name Rey new well.

_Poe._

Rey’s eyes widened, and she scrambled to get the ear-pieces in place. Damn it all. She’d run off and left him like that, and she'd ignored every one of his calls. He had to be coming out of his skin, right now. She started cycling through her contacts, and she was about to call him when she saw Farren heading for the door.

“Farren, wait!” Rey called out after her.

Farren stopped and looked over her shoulder.

“Thank you,” Rey said. “Really.”

Farren flashed a warm smile and nodded before she left the room and closed the door behind her.

Rey immediately pressed ‘call’ on her communicator and it only took one ring for Poe to answer this time.

“Rey!” he exclaimed. “For the love of… Where are you? Are you all right?”

A smile curled on her lips when she said, “I could probably use some dinner.”


	9. Chapter 9

Poe hadn’t been amused by her joke about dinner, not that she could blame him. After practically shouting at her to wait for him outside of the academy, he hung up. She felt terribly guilty as she descended the stairs and headed outside, ignoring her stomach which was finally screaming at her.

She sat on the stairs outside and a sky car appeared within only a few minutes. The driver’s side door opened, and she had to do a double-take when she saw Poe climb out of it all on his own and stand up. Her eyes fell to his legs, and she noticed he was wearing what looked like metal braces.

She didn’t have time to comment about it since he swiftly walked up to her and dragged her to her feet by her wrist. A gasp pushed its way out of her throat when he pulled her against him and hugged her so tightly it was difficult to breathe. His breathing was wild, and she could both hear and feel his heart racing. Her arms shakily raised to wrap around him, too, and as soon as he felt them, he exhaled heavily.

“Damn you, Rey,” he said, sounding absolutely exasperated. “Don’t you ever… _ever_ do that again.”

She’d already guessed he’d been terribly worried but having it confirmed only made her guilt sting even more harshly.

“I’m sorry,” she said pitifully. “I didn’t mean to… I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Poe brought his hands around to cup her face and led her into a kiss that stole the breath she was about to take. She felt it almost immediately; there was something different about this one. The first time he’d kissed her had been more pensive, but this time, he almost seemed desperate. That only made her feel worse.

She really had hurt him terribly.

He pulled away and pressed his forehead against hers. “You were thinking about that little girl. I get it. But next time at least answer your communicator so I know you haven’t gone and fallen on your lightsaber.”

Fall on her lightsaber? That idea hadn’t even remotely crossed her mind.

“Why would you think I would do that?” she asked.

“You thought it was a pretty okay idea before.”

For a few seconds, she was terribly confused and had no idea what he was talking about. And then she remembered.

_Guess I’ll be eating a blaster, then._

_If the First Order finds us before the Republic gets here, I’m _not_ going back._

She’d forgotten her own words as well as how easily she’d said them and how much she’d meant it. Under threat of re-education, death had been the better option, so she couldn’t even tell him she’d said it in the heat of the moment.

“That was before,” she said. “Or did you forget that I told you I’m all in on this, too?”

He turned his head. “Yeah, well, since when has that ever stopped anyone from offing themselves?”

He may as well have punched her in the stomach for how hard those words hit her. _I know what it’s like to not have anyone_, he said. She hadn’t asked him for specifics then, and she wasn’t going to now. He could tell her more if he was ever ready to, but right now she knew all that she needed to know. She raised her hands to the sides of his neck and made him turn back to her.

“You gave me my life, Poe,” she told him. “I’m not about to blindly throw it away.”

He shook his head. “I was just your ride. You’re the one who came up with the escape plan.”

She smiled gently at him. “Oh, so was it someone else who stopped Kylo Ren from killing me in that cell?”

He didn’t answer, but a small bit of light returned to his eyes. Her hands fell to his chest and both of them clenched so that she could grip his shirt.

“This might come as a shock to you, Poe,” she said, pulling him closer out of instinct. “But I _want_ to be here with you. At this exact moment in time, it’s about the only thing I want.”

He looked so surprised by what she said it was almost painful for her. He hadn’t had the faintest idea she felt that way, and she knew it was her own fault. No more. If she had to voice her every feeling in order for him to understand, that was what she would do. The last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt him like this again.

But the surprise faded from his face and was soon replaced with a contented smile that lifted a huge weight off of her chest.

“All right, dammit,” he said in a resigned but also playful tone. “Since when are _you_ the one who makes _me_ blush?”

She blew out a laugh through her nose and finally felt comfortable enough to kiss him. A shocked gasp echoed in her throat when he pressed his hand into the back of her head to deepen the kiss. The headiness that immediately came over her left her muscles going limp and her mind scrambling.

When he pulled back, he smirked at her and said, “That’s more like it.”

She didn’t even bother trying to hold back this time and drove one of her fists right into his chest. He grunted right before he started laughing, and she walked past him, toward the car.

“Beating up the injured,” he said. “Not very Jedi of you.”

She ignored him and climbed into the passenger seat of the car. He walked up to the car but he didn’t climb in yet.

“Rey,” he said. “I can take you to dinner, but I gotta warn you, Luke asked me to bring you to him afterward. Pretty sure he’s gonna lecture you over that stunt you pulled today.”

A lecture. She couldn’t remember ever being given one of those. Phasma and Kylo Ren normally liked to let pain do their talking for them. But she didn’t mind. Poe wasn’t the only one she’d worried today.

“I think I can handle it,” she said. “But I’m gonna start eating the car if we don’t leave soon.”

He laughed again and climbed into the driver’s seat. When the car took off, Poe slid his arm over her shoulders and she had to admit that this was the first time since she’d come to this city that she felt completely normal.

*****

Dinner was a relief. She hadn’t realized how truly hungry she was until she was devouring everything on her plate like an animal tearing apart a carcass. She might have taken a moment to be embarrassed by her poor table manners if Poe hadn’t looked so amused by it. The only interruption came in the form of a call Poe received on his communicator. He excused himself from the table to answer it, but she was so wrapped up in eating that she couldn’t bother to be concerned about it.

By the time she finished her food and they were driving to Luke’s, she was in a positively chipper mood. She was more than prepared to take whatever Luke was gonna dish out. So when Poe didn’t drive toward Luke’s house, Rey looked around confused for a few seconds.

“I thought we were going to Luke’s house.”

He shook his head. “I said I was taking you to Luke. He’s not at his house right now.”

She didn’t bother asking where they were going because based on the direction he was driving, she already knew. Ben took this same route when he brought her to see Jemma. Poe parked the car and she followed him inside, expecting that he might lead her to the General’s office, but he turned down the same hallway Ben had. As they walked further and further down the hallways, it became apparent where Luke was. She hadn’t thought to ever go into Jacen’s room. It wasn’t her place. But if Luke wanted her there, she wasn’t going to argue.

When they reached the door, Poe lightly tapped on it, and Rey heard Luke call out for them to come in. Poe opened the door, and Rey saw not only Luke but also Ben, the General, Han, Lando, and Jemma all standing around Jacen’s bed. Han had his arm wrapped around the General’s waist and Jemma stood behind them with her hands clasped together. They all turned to look at her, and the disappointment behind Luke’s eyes was potent.

She closed the door behind her, and Luke cut through the silence of the room when he said, “Come over here, Rey.”

_Here_…

The voice came out of nowhere, and when she looked around no one else seemed to have heard it. Thinking she had to be hearing things, she went to Luke as she was asked. As soon as she was standing next to him, he brought his arm up to wrap around her shoulders.

“Ben told me that you saw Jacen before Jemma gave you that eye,” Luke said softly. “You’d need to be told the truth at some point, so it may as well be now.”

Well, this wasn’t what she’d been expecting. She’d been prepared for Luke to grill her about where she’d been and order her to never disappear like that again. What brought this on?

_Warn…_

There it was again. She looked around the room for the second time, but she was definitely the only one hearing it. This was becoming discomforting. Not just because it was a disembodied voice but because it sounded very familiar to her.

Ben stepped up to the other side of her, and said, “As long as I could remember, Jacen and his sister Jaina trained with Father alongside me. They’re twins, so they were naturally drawn toward a form of lightsaber combat that was ideal for teamwork. I could usually beat them when they were apart, but together they were unstoppable.”

The General was the next one to move. She stepped closer to Jacen’s bed and placed her hand on his forehead.

“It came out of nowhere,” she said, sounding utterly devastated. “One day Jacen was bright-eyed, full of energy, and talking about becoming a Jedi Knight. The next day he was in a coma. No injuries. Nothing. He just fell and never woke up.”

Rey’s eyes narrowed and she turned to Luke, asking him with her eyes what had happened.

Luke’s voice was heavy with sorrow when he said, “I was the one who found him like this. I’ve done more research than I can possibly say and found nothing. I’ve sought advice from Master Yoda, Obi-Wan, my father, and even Master Qui-Gon Jinn. None of them have been able to tell me precisely what is keeping him like this. If it were the power of a newly-emerged Sith Lord, I could simply hunt him down and end him. But this is not the power of a Sith Lord. I have felt such power before. It’s not a sensation one forgets.”

Her head was spinning at this point, but for a reason completely separate from the revelations about Jacen. Yoda? Obi-Wan Kenobi? Anakin Skywalker? She didn’t know the last man he’d mentioned, but she knew for a fact the other three were dead. She first thought Luke might have meant “sought advice” in a metaphorical sense, but the following sentence killed that theory quickly. Was this a power Jedi had? Could they communicate with the living after death?

Luke’s arm tightened on her shoulders and he went on, “It was a mere few weeks after Jacen fell into a coma that the First Order made its first attempt to steal the map. Indeed, that was the moment we knew the First Order had actually become a force to be concerned about. And it was also the last day any of us ever laid eyes on Jaina.”

Rey’s stomach turned into a knot. One in a coma, and the other vanished. But if the First Order was involved…

“It may sound selfish to you, Rey,” Luke said, “but we need you. If the First Order took Jaina and made her into a Stormtrooper, your insider information may be key to helping us get her back. So please, don’t pull another stunt like the one you pulled today.”

As if she didn’t already feel guilty enough for doing what she’d done earlier. The more she looked back on it, the more foolish it seemed. Really, what had she been thinking?

She turned to Luke to apologize, only to be met with him grinning at her.

“I’m also in no hurry to lose another student,” he said kindly. “So do take care of yourself.”

She smiled back at him. “Okay.”

_Traitor_…

Now that word had her hair standing on end. She didn’t bother looking around this time, but nothing could stop her stomach from turning. She would have to speak to Luke about this later. It couldn’t be normal for her to be hearing voices while she was awake.

She heard footsteps and turned to see Han approaching with small, black holocrons in each hand. He held one of them out to her.

“This is a map to where your family is, kid. Hux didn’t bother trying to hide it after he saw you.”

Rey took the Holocron from him, but as she was pulling her hand away, he gently caught her wrist.

“Little bit of quid pro quo, first,” he said as he activated the other Holocron.

An image shone out of the top, and she immediately recognized one of the faces she saw: Jacen. That meant the girl standing next to him in the image had to be Jaina. She had the same color hair as him and the same eye color. They shared several other physical features as well. They truly were twins.

“Do you remember seeing her?” Han asked. “Was she one of the other Stormtroopers?”

Rey looked at Jaina’s smiling face and tried as hard as she could to remember. Had she seen her? Maybe it was in passing, even. She’d only ever talked to the other troopers when it was necessary, but the showers were not private so she saw the faces of the other women all the time. Think, Rey. You need to help these people. They need answers, and you’re their only hope.

Han powered off the Holocron and slid it into his pocket. She looked at him, about to ask him why when he held a hand up to silence her.

“It’s all right, kid,” he said with an obviously fake smile on his face. “Don’t try to force yourself to remember something that isn’t there.”

The General sighed. “It’s also not as if Rey would have ever known Jaina by her real name. They use those damned numbers for everyone.”

Rey remembered all too well. She wished she didn’t. That number. What used to be such a mundane thing had turned into something akin to a slur for Rey. She could never have foreseen that happening.

"Those numbers," Luke said with disgust in his voice. "Rey, you might have told me what yours was. You'd have stopped hearing it from the other students much sooner if I'd known what they were gossiping about."

Rey looked at Poe. “You never told him my number?”

Poe almost looked offended when he answered, “No. I never told anyone. I told you I wasn’t using that thing again, and I meant it.”

Rey averted her eyes. “Huh.”

If Poe didn’t tell anyone, then how did Pierce and Eva find out what it was?

She felt Ben’s hand on her shoulder before he asked, “Rey? Something wrong?”

She shook the thoughts from her head. She had to have said it where either Pierce or Eva could hear it at one time or another and she just didn’t remember doing it. The number of things she couldn’t remember _were_ becoming more and more plentiful lately.

“No,” Rey said. “Nothing. It’s probably just me.”

“Well, good,” came Luke’s voice as he stepped up next to her. “Because don’t think avoiding me all day means you get out of your training. If this little talk didn’t teach you a lesson, maybe lack of sleep will.”

She’d more than learned her lesson, but she wasn’t going to argue with more training. She needed it. She knew that better than anyone.

“I think not, Master Luke.”

Rey had very nearly forgotten Jemma was there until she spoke. Jemma approached and stood next to Lando with her arms crossed.

“You’ve been putting off the tune-up on your hand for weeks now,” Jemma scolded. “Surely missing one day will not hinder Rey that much.”

Luke looked like he was going to argue, but when Jemma scowled at him, he sighed heavily.

“All right, Jemma,” Luke said before he turned to Rey, “But _you_ will be at my house first thing in the morning.”

The General spoke next. “I’m afraid she won’t, Luke. Han has already agreed to take her to see her family tomorrow. Looks like you’re going to have extra time to help Ben with the other students.”

Luke looked irritated for a few seconds, but it died quickly. He glanced at Ben and said, “I suppose it’s for the best. I am long overdue for a visit to the academy.”

Ben’s smile grew a mile, and Rey was more than happy to see it. But the General’s words had also set her heart to racing.

Tomorrow. She’d known it would be happening soon but not this soon. Han, Lando, and the General were all heading for the door when they stopped right next to Poe.

Han motioned in Rey’s direction and said, “Make sure you two are at the port first thing after breakfast.”

“Yes, sir,” Poe answered.

Han sighed. “You ever gonna stop calling me that, Dameron?”

Poe shrugged. “You ever gonna stop calling me ‘Dameron?’”

Han grinned and patted Poe on the shoulder twice before he, the General, and Lando all left the room. Luke, Ben, and Jemma were close behind them, and then the room was quiet. Her eyes naturally found their way to Jacen, and she couldn’t explain it but as she looked at him, a strange feeling came over her. It was impossible, but she felt as if she’d met him before.

_Hear me_…

Two words that time. She really didn’t like this.

“Rey?”

Poe’s voice snapped her out of her concentration, and she turned to him in time for him to take her hand.

He tugged at her arm lightly and said, “Come on. Let’s get you back.”

She closed her hand around his and let him lead her back out to the car. But those words she kept hearing while in that room picked at the back of her mind as she climbed into the car with him and they drove off. She stared out of the window, playing each word and phrase over in her head and trying to place the voice. She knew she’d heard it before. Where? Where was it?

“You okay?” came Poe’s voice.

She glanced over at him and he looked genuinely worried.

“Yeah,” she said, squeezing his hand. “I was just thinking about Jaina.”

It was a lie, but thankfully he bought it.

“If you don’t remember seeing her, then you don’t remember seeing her,” he said. “Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

She didn’t answer and simply scooted closer to him so that he could drape his arm over her shoulders again. As trivial of a thing as it was, it made her feel safe.

He brought the car down right in front of the academy, and when she went to climb out, she found his arm keeping her from doing so. When she turned to look at him, he leaned in for a kiss, which she readily accepted. But the mood wasn’t right. There was something weighing him down.

She broke away first and asked, “Poe? What’s wrong?”

His eyes were downcast when he answered, “That call I got over dinner… It was Dia. She said Farren was wondering if you were all right after she left you.”

It hadn’t even occurred to her that Farren would check up on her like that, but it left her wondering why Farren hadn’t just called her directly rather than go through Poe.

“I thought, after you came to me this morning, that you really trusted me,” he said, sounding disheartened. “But you don’t, do you?”

Rey’s eyes grew wide. “Why would you think that?”

He didn’t look angry, just hurt, when he said, “The name, the little brother. Those things were hard to hear, but when you saw that little girl’s father, it was too much for you to handle. I got that. I was ready to help you deal with it, but you didn’t let me. You left.”

That was true. She hadn’t had the presence of mind to think about it too deeply, at the time. She’d been effectively running on instinct, auto-pilot. But then that meant…

He was right. She didn’t know it until just then, but if her instincts were to walk away, then she must not have trusted him enough. Why? What possible reason could she have?

“And then,” he went on, “you didn’t let me find you until after you’d already let someone else help you through it. I-”

He looked away, and he looked like he was trying to hold back anger when he said, “I just don’t get it, Rey. You and me, we went through a lot together. What’s making you trust a girl you barely know more than me? What am I doing wrong?”

_Nothing_. She wanted to shout it at him until her voice went hoarse. He’d never done a single thing wrong. That was why this didn’t make sense. They’d faced impossible odds together while they were escaping the First Order. She’d put her life in his hands multiple times. How could-

_Is it okay if we sit with you?_

Those were Dia’s words, and they slammed into her like one of Phasma’s punches. Was that it? Was it really that simple? It made her stomach wind into a knot, and she quickly threw her leg over him so that she could sit on his lap. She couldn’t be bothered to care about how scandalous it would look if anyone saw them like that. She wanted to hug him, and she couldn’t do it properly sitting in the seat.

She heard him gasp before she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him almost as tightly as he’d hugged her earlier. Damn it all. How many times was she gonna hurt him?

“I’m sorry, Poe,” she said, fighting back tears. She was not going to let herself break down. She didn’t have the right. “I didn’t even realize it. I don’t… _By the stars_, what is wrong with me?”

His hands came to her shoulders and he pushed her back slightly. He didn’t look hurt anymore, only shocked.

"Hey, easy,” he said. “It’s all right. Just tell me what’s going through your head.”

She shook her head. “You didn’t have a choice.”

His eyes narrowed. “A choice about what?”

“Me!” she exclaimed. “You were locked in that cell, and I was the only one who was offering to get you out. I was the only one there to help you when Phasma attacked in the forest. This whole thing started because we were forced together by things outside of our control.”

Her eye was welling up and a knot was forming in her throat, but she forced it down and immediately swiped the tears out of her eye. No. Keep it together. Voice your every feeling so that he will understand. That’s what you said you’d do. So do it.

“It shouldn’t matter so much to me but apparently it does,” she said angrily. “Ben, Luke, the General, Han, all of them, _they_ didn’t even _choose_ me. I’m only here because I have information they need and because I’m apparently some kind of damned Force prodigy!”

Her heart was pounding so hard she thought it might burst from her chest and fly right into Poe’s completely dumbfounded face. She hadn’t known until that moment that she felt that way about Ben and the others. They were all being very kind to her, but she knew she was right. Ben confirmed it when he refused to tell her about Jacen and Jaina. Han confirmed it with the ‘quid pro quo.’ Luke confirmed it when he talked about needing her to help them find Jaina.

But Dia and Farren…

“They _chose_ me,” Rey finally said. “Dia and Farren, they could have just ignored me, whispered about me behind my back, or outright scorned me like everyone else at the academy does. But they didn’t. They knew what I was, and they chose me anyway.”

She couldn’t stop it anymore. Her eye filled again and overflowed before she lowered her voice and said, “Can you honestly tell me that _you_ would have chosen me if we hadn’t met the way we did?”

He didn’t answer right away, and she’d known he wasn’t going to. But it didn’t matter. She already knew the answer. If she hadn’t broken him out of that cell and saved him from Phasma, she’d be nothing to him but a former Stormtrooper and a basket case.

His hand came up to wipe the tears from her face, and he said, “That’s what you’re worried about?”

She sniffed to keep snot from leaking from her nose. “Evidently.”

To her surprise, he smiled and let his tear-covered hand rest on the side of her head.

“Well, Dia told me how she and Farren met you,” he said gently. “They said Pierce and Eva were ganging up on you, so you _took care of it_.”

She felt her cheeks grow hotter. She hadn’t wanted to think about that again. It was such a ridiculous situation.

Poe’s other hand worked itself inside of one of hers, and he squeezed it tightly before he went on, “I didn’t decide I wanted you because you saved my life, Rey. That was part of it, for sure, but other soldiers have saved my life more times than I can count and you don’t see me asking them all out to dinner.”

His eyes were molten when he said, “Watching you decide you’d had enough and kick the crap out of Phasma and her goons was what did me in. So if I’d watched you stand up to a couple of bullies like Dia and Farren did, you can bet your ass I’d have _chosen_ you.”

She wanted to say something, but all words she tried to form died immediately. Had he been wearing this on his sleeve all this time and she’d just never seen it? Was she really that dense?

“And I’ll tell you one more thing,” he said. “If you were nothing but a means to an end to Luke, Ben, Han, and the General, there’s no way they’d have even told you about Jacen and Jaina, much less let you into Jacen’s room. They may not know you very well yet, but they know enough to know that they can trust you. Give them a little more credit, will you?”

She felt all at once terribly foolish and completely overwhelmed. He was right. He was right about everything, as usual. Was there ever going to be a moment in this relationship where she didn’t come out looking like an idiot?

Her eyes fell, and her chest tightened when she said, “I really am messed up, aren’t I? I don’t understand why you keep putting up with it.”

He ran his hand through her hair, and it made goosebumps rise on her skin.

“I knew what I was signing up for, Rey,” he said sternly. “You need to get it out of your head that you’re not worth it.”

The knee-weakening feeling that moved through her right then might well have left her slumping to the floor if she wasn’t already sitting. She didn’t know if she’d ever experienced it before, but she couldn’t have been more positive. If she wasn’t already in love with Poe, she was well on her way to it now.

“So,” he said, dropping his hands to her hips, “if things don’t work out the way you’re expecting when we go to see your family tomorrow, you think you can promise me that you won’t run off again?”

As if she would. After everything he’d just said, she didn’t ever want to leave his side again. She grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him into another kiss, this time lingering until she could make the storm in her chest die down.

She saw that same molten look in his eyes that she’d seen earlier when she told him, “I promise.”

The hands that were on her hips tightened oppressively, and the heat in his eyes burned hotter. He wasn't saying it, but it was blatantly obvious; he wanted to keep going. And at this exact moment, she wasn't sure she would stop him if he tried.

But he averted his eyes and said, “All right, get outa here or we’re gonna wind up out here all night.”

She smiled at him and said, “I’m not seeing the downside.”

He playfully shoved her off his lap and said, “The downside is neither one of us will get a wink of sleep, now get going.”

She laughed as she climbed out of the car. He started it up again, and once the car was levitating again, he turned to her.

“Goodnight, Rey.”

She nodded. “Goodnight, Poe.”

He took off, and she wanted to kick herself for feeling disappointed. You’re gonna see him first thing in the morning, you idiot. Stop fawning like a teenager.

She turned to enter the academy, and it was only upon entry that she remembered… Farren had asked about her. It wasn’t terribly late, so she was probably still awake.

Farren’s room was on the ground floor, so Rey went right to it and tapped on the door. It took a few seconds for her to start hearing footsteps, but right after she did, the door opened.

It wasn’t just Farren standing there. Dia stood beside her, and Rey’s cheeks heated up when she saw the disheveled state of their robes as well as Dia’s bun hanging so loosely it was almost undone. Well, Rey, you showed up at a terrible time.

Dia’s eyes grew wide and she said, “Rey! Farren told me what happened. Are you all right?”

While Rey was grateful Dia wasn’t upset with her, she still felt terribly guilty for interrupting them, so she just said, “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry for interrupting. I’ll just talk to you guys later, okay?”

She turned to leave, but Dia snatched her wrist and said, “No, it’s okay. What’s going on?”

Rey looked at the floor and answered, “Well, nothing really. Poe told me you guys called, so I was just stopping by.”

Dia blew out a breath, looking relieved. “Well, thanks for that. Farren wasn’t all that worried, but I was.”

Rey glanced over at Farren to see her point at the back of Dia’s head and mouth two words: _worry wart_. A laugh pushed its way out of Rey’s throat, and Dia turned to look at Farren.

She looked mildly irritated when she growled, “What did you say?”

Farren shrugged her shoulders and smirked, which earned her a smack on the arm from Dia. As Rey was watching them interact, an idea came to her, one that she wished she’d have thought of sooner.

“Hey, guys,” she said.

Dia and Farren both looked at her expectantly.

She managed to maintain eye contact, but she still fidgeted with her hands when she asked, “You think you can teach me those hand signs? Not tonight, obviously, but sometime?”

A smile curled on Farren’s lips, followed immediately by Dia’s. Farren stepped forward and made a single, simple motion with her hand.

Rey glanced at Dia as she said, “That means ‘yes.’ Consider that your first lesson.”


	10. Chapter 10

It was morning. She was sitting across from Farren and Dia just as she had the previous morning. She was struggling to eat her breakfast, just as she had the previous morning. Except this morning, every bite had her feeling like she was going to vomit. She hadn’t experienced this level of gut-wrenching anxiety since Phasma had ordered her to be sent for re-education. She was shakily trying to force down another bite of her food when she felt a warmth over her other hand.

She looked up and saw Farren’s hand was draped over hers while the other one was moving. After she’d asked them to teach her last night, they’d insisted on at least going over some of the basics, so Rey was able to recognize what Farren was signing.

_It’s gonna be okay._

Rey shook her head. “That’s easy for you to say.”

Farren started signing with both hands at such a rapid speed that Rey wasn’t able to catch any of it, so she had to look to Dia.

Dia translated, “She says that you’re only gonna worry your family more if you show up looking like you’re losing your mind.”

Dia’s eyebrows ran together slightly, and she chucked a napkin toward Rey.

“At least clean the food off your face,” Dia said. “Honestly, what are we gonna do with you?”

Rey hadn’t even realized there was food on her face, but she took the napkin and wiped her mouth. The sight of the bit of food on the napkin had her stomach turning again and she balled the napkin up. Dia grumbled in annoyance and got up from her chair. She moved to stand beside Rey, so Rey turned to look at her.

“Let’s try it again,” Dia said sternly.

Rey had to resist groaning aloud, but she turned her chair toward Dia. The smaller woman’s hands dropped onto Rey’s shoulders, and she looked at Rey expectantly.

At the same time, Rey and Dia both said, “My name is Rey now, and I’ve come back to free you.”

A few seconds of silence passed before Dia sighed, looking mildly disappointed. “Well, you still kinda sound like a droid, but at least you don’t sound like you’re in pain this time. Progress.”

Despite how nervous she was, Rey laughed. She’d found that Dia was guaranteed to make her laugh at least once during every conversation. Dia went back to her chair and sat down.

“Now if we could just get you to eat, then we’d be in business,” Dia said.

Farren’s hands started moving again, and Rey only managed to catch one or two words, so she was forced to fall back on Dia again.

Dia snorted out a laugh and said, “She wants to know what makes you more anxious, seeing your family, or seeing your family and then passing out because you didn’t eat breakfast.”

That made Rey’s skin immediately start crawling, and she picked up her fork. Her stomach was still in tangles, but she managed to eat every bite and keep it all down. She chugged her cup of water in only a few seconds and blew out a breath as she set the cup back down.

You can do this, Rey. You can because you _have_ to. Isha Nakai’s parents and little brother need you to save them.

“Feel better?” Dia asked.

“Not really,” Rey answered honestly. “But at least my stomach’s not empty anymore.”

“That’s what you call a ‘silver lining.’”

Rey grinned. It was impossible to stay too upset with Dia around.

Rey’s communicator started beeping, and she knew right away who it was. Poe told her he’d be there in ten minutes, and while the short time-frame frightened her, it wasn’t as much as she expected. She might actually be able to get through this without having a nervous breakdown. Perish the thought.

She stood and took her tray over to the sink before she went back to the table to say goodbye to Farren and Dia. Farren’s hands moved, and the gesture was simple enough that Rey understood it without help.

_Good luck_.

Rey grinned at her. “Thanks.”

She left, and on the way out, she passed right by Pierce and Eva, who were sitting at a table eating their own breakfast. Eva was holding Pierce’s hand tightly and his eyes were burning with hatred behind the bandages that covered his face from his still-broken nose. But for the first time, that hatred didn’t bother her even in the slightest.

She waited outside, and when Poe arrived with the car, she hopped inside. He was right in the middle of saying ‘good morning’ when she scooted closer to him and silenced him with a kiss. She felt him smile against her lips, and when she pulled back, he looked somewhere between shocked and pleased.

“Well,” he said. “You in a good mood, or something?”

She wasn’t sure if ‘good mood’ was the right word. She was still scared out of her mind, but rather than wanting to run, she was feeling something closer to exhilaration. It wasn’t something she was accustomed to.

She settled in next to him and let him wrap his arm around her as they drove off toward the port.

*****

When she and Poe stepped up to the Millenium Falcon, they found Han and Chewbacca waiting at the ramp with the same blue and white droid Rey had seen in the interrogation room with Hux. R2, Han had called it. She’d never known a droid to laugh before.

A slot on R2’s side opened up and Han reached out to take something from it. A smile formed on Han’s scruffy face as he pocketed what looked like a small holocron.

“Good work, R2,” he said. “Take whatever extra juicy bits you found to Jemma. See what she can make of ‘em.”

R2 beeped twice and rolled away toward the front exit of the port. Han then noticed Rey and Poe and turned to them.

“Right on time, you two,” Han said. “We’re just about ready to take off.”

It was obvious that he was trying to sound chipper, but the rings under his eyes spoke louder than his voice.

Chewbacca made a sound somewhere between a whine and a growl and they all went aboard the ship. While Poe walked around like the place was his own home, Rey wandered awkwardly as Han and Chewbacca went to the cockpit. There was a single circular table as well as a handful of closed silver cabinets lining a wall next to a hallway. Down the hallway, she could see at least one door.

She approached the table to sit down and that was when she noticed the photograph sitting on it. It was a younger-looking Han and a little dark-haired girl Rey could only assume was Jaina. Han was sitting in one of the pilot seats of the Falcon while Jaina was sitting in the other. Chewbacca stood behind Jaina’s seat right next to R2. None of them were looking at the photographer, so the photo must have been taken without their knowledge. The smile on Han’s face was warm and Jaina’s eyes were alight with child-like enchantment.

She felt something bump her leg, and she turned to see that Poe had taken a seat beside her. Tearing her eyes away from the picture, she slid over to give Poe more room and he responded by sliding his arm around her waist to pull her back to him. Touching him was normal at this point, but she couldn’t help the occasional bout of chest fluttering when he was so affectionate.

Poe’s eyes went to the picture as Rey felt the ship finally lift off. The ship’s rumbling caused the picture to start lightly bouncing, and she could see it was about to fall over. She reached out to grab it before it could and placed it face down in her lap to keep it from being damaged. The ship jolted once, and they were off at a much faster speed than Rey remembered from the last time she was here.

The ship’s movement smoothed out quickly, so Rey placed the picture back on the table in the exact spot she’d taken it from. A pang of terrible guilt ate at her chest as she looked at it. Logically, she knew that she was only a cog in the First Order’s machine. But she couldn’t help feeling like she was partially to blame for the things they did.

“She was one hell of a pilot,” Poe said as he looked at the picture.

Rey’s eyes widened. “You knew her?”

His expression wilted when he said, “I helped Han teach her how to fly. Jacen never was interested, but Jaina was a natural. I mean, I’m good, but even I didn’t pick up on it as quickly as she did.”

Learning that Poe was among the people who were missing Jaina, it stung more than Rey could have foreseen. She slid her hand into his free one and leaned her head on his shoulder, hoping it might bring him some amount of comfort. A shiver moved over her skin when he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“I’m all right,” he said.

He wasn’t, but she couldn’t bring herself to badger him over it. He’d talk about it when he was ready.

Footsteps coming from the direction of the cockpit drew her attention and she saw Han walk into the room. His hand was slid into the pocket of his trousers, and when he looked over at the table, he froze for a fleeting moment. Without a word, he walked over and picked up the photo, keeping it turned away from himself as he brought it over to one of the cabinets.

After he opened the cabinet, Rey saw that that photo was far from the only one being hidden away. More guilt. Why couldn’t she remember seeing Jaina’s face? She remembered so many other useless things, but she couldn’t remember something as important as that.

Han returned to the table, and Rey couldn’t help but notice the slight mist over his eyes. But he threw on a grin and drew his hand out of his pocket. She saw the holocron he’d placed there before and he placed it on the table in front of her.

“I had R2 do a little digging into Hux’s ship to see if he could find records of you or your family,” Han explained.

He pushed a button on the side of the holocron, and an image shot out of the top. Rey’s mouth hung open at the images of three people: a man, a woman, and a small boy, all with brown skin and black hair, just like Rey. She glanced between Han and the images.

“Is that…?”

Han nodded. “That’s your family, kid.”

Isha Nakai’s family. She kept the thought to herself, but she knew as soon as she looked at them that it was the truth. She felt nothing, no familiarity or connection to speak of. They truly were strangers, and the thought brought right back the anxiety she’d managed to wittle down earlier, particularly when she looked upon the boy. He wasn’t going to be much older than he was when this image was taken. Isha Nakai’s parents would likely understand the situation, but would he?

The feeling of Poe’s arm tightening around her shoulders broke her gaze.

“Hey,” he said softly. “It’s gonna be all right.”

When he said it like that, she almost believed him, but she wasn’t going to kid herself. Even if Isha’s parents were understanding and her brother took it well, Rey knew this was still going to be one of the most difficult days of her life.

She scanned over their faces with precision, trying to memorize every detail so that when she saw them she would at least recognize them. Isha’s mother had short, buzzed hair and full lips as well as a scar below her nose. Isha’s father’s hair was long and pulled back into a ponytail, and the skin on his neck was patched with slightly lighter shades of brown than the rest of his body. As for the brother, his eyes were so deeply amber that they were almost yellow. She’d never seen such a color in eyes before.

And then there were their names, printed right below their images. Father, Elkon Nakai. Mother, Ari Nakai. And brother, Jaben Nakai. Names that held no more familiarity than the faces. What she wouldn’t have given to be dauntless at this moment.

*****

When they flew into the planet’s atmosphere, the first thing Rey noticed was the abundance of vegetation. Trees, grass, and fields of crops as far as the eye could see. Small ponds and lakes also peppered the areas and they flew past flocks of rainbow-colored birds as they pulled into port. The city they landed in wasn’t terribly big, but the grey buildings certainly stood out among the sea of green and multi-colored crops.

Poe had to practically drag her out of her seat since her legs had almost immediately frozen in place as soon as the ship stopped moving. She tried to offset her nerves by keeping a tight hold of his hand as he led her off the ship, Han and Chewbacca close behind them. The first smell to hit her suprised her; the smell of meat cooking over a fire. She looked around and saw that traders had set up a marketplace right next to the port. Men and women of various species were sitting behind wooden stands, selling everything from fruits and vegetables to farming tools.

As they walked down toward the inner parts of the city, she finally saw the source of the smell. The headless bodies of small, bird-like creatures were skewered and being cooked over a fire while a female Gungan shouted out advertisements. In the woman’s oddly-spoken English, Rey was able to make out that the birds were called Porgs. She thought she might try one before they left. They smelled heavenly.

But soon the smell of the porg disappeared into typical city smells and Rey knew they still had a good distance to walk. The slaves were kept in the outskirts of the city so they could be closer to the farmlands they were forced to work on. There were many races in this city Rey hadn’t seen in the Republic’s capital, and she didn’t miss how many of them were looking at her with either contempt or an air of superiority. They thought she was one of the slaves, and they weren’t entirely wrong.

Their contempt hardly bothered her, and she easily ignored them as she and Poe made their way closer and closer to the farmlands. With every few yards, the crowds thinned down more and more until Rey was seeing almost exclusively humans. She knew, based on what she’d learned from Han on the way here, that almost every slave on this planet was human, so they appeared to have reached their destination.

Poe stopped and started fishing around in his pocket for the holocron Rey knew was there while Han and Chewbacca also drew theirs. They both turned on their holocrons temporarily as if to make sure they worked, and she caught a quick glimpse of Jaben.

“All right, kid,” Han said. “We’ll split up here. Just give a quick call if you find them before we do.”

She nodded at him and he and Chewbacca took off in one direction while she and Poe went in the other. She noticed right away that everyone in this part of the city was much friendlier, and no one looked down on her. It was a nice change of pace from the rest of the city, but she still couldn’t bring herself to speak to anyone. Thankfully, Poe was willing to do the asking for her, and he showed Isha’s family’s pictures to several people, none of whom knew them. It wasn’t surprising. It was a large city, and even this section with the slaves was relatively spacious.

It was at least half an hour into the search before they encountered someone who recognized them. It was an older woman with a bald head and a sour expression who had been weaving a basket before they approached.

“Elkon and Ari,” she said, with a scratchy voice. “Yeah, I know ‘em.”

She raised her hand and pointed toward some buildings behind her and Poe.

“They were moved to a house in that direction,” she told them. “Keep walking for about a mile and you’ll find it between a pond and a stable.”

Poe nodded and said, “All right. Thanks.”

She didn’t answer and went right back to weaving as if they’d never even spoken to her. Well, not everyone could be friendly. She followed Poe in the direction the woman had pointed, and she was discomforted when she realized the people were thinning out even more. It was almost entirely silent by the time Rey caught sight of the stable, so she was easily able to hear what sounded like pained grunts coming from that direction.

They rounded a corner and Rey’s mouth fell open at what she saw. Her body was moving before she even realized it and she rushed up to the large bald man. She used the same pressure point she’d used on Pierce to make him drop the bloodied whip before he could deliver another blow to the sobbing little boy who was lying face down in the dirt. She didn’t even give the man a moment to get his bearings before she drove a punch directly into his throat. She couldn’t reach his nose.

But before the man could crumple to his knees, before he could start choking, Rey saw his face, and she wished more than anything that she could unsee it. His hair was gone, but the patched skin on the neck she’d just punched was evidence enough.

Isha Nakai’s father. Before, Rey had called him that out of an unwilling sense of disconnect, but she was more than willing now. This man was no father of hers, and she would never call him that as long as she lived. She ignored his choking and attempts to curse at her as she turned to the little boy. No, Jaben. His name was Jaben.

She placed a hand gently on his shoulder and when he felt the touch, he jolted violently as if he expected her to haul him to his feet and beat him more. She didn’t know him, even now, but he knew Isha’s voice.

“It’s okay, Jaben,” she said softly. “I won’t let him hurt you again.”

Jaben pushed himself up and turned around almost immediately. Behind his tear-stained eyes she saw recognition that she wished more than anything she could return.

His weak voice cracked when he said, “Isha?”

She naturally reached out to cup his face, and the words formed before she even thought them.

“My name is Rey now, and I’ve come back to free you.”

More tears leaked out of the boy’s eyes and he slumped forward, likely woozy from the blood loss. She caught him before he could fall, careful to avoid disturbing the gaping wounds on his back.

“I know,” he mumbled. “You promised you would.”

She could vaguely hear the scratchy voice of Elkon launching more curses at her, but Rey couldn’t be bothered to care. She picked Jaben up with one arm holding his thighs and the other supporting the back of his head as she let his cheek rest on her shoulder.

She turned to Elkon, and all of his curses stopped as his eyes grew wide. “Isha... is that...?”

“Isha is dead,” she said flatly. “And if you ever come near Jaben again, I’ll bury that whip in your throat. You don’t deserve freedom.”

Another voice echoed from behind her, a woman’s. “Isha! _By the stars_, Isha! You’ve come home!”

Rey looked behind her and saw the face of Ari Nakai, but she turned from her as easily as she turned from Elkon.

“No,” Rey said. “This isn’t home, and you are _not_ my parents.”

Both of them started calling after her as she walked away, and she could hear Elkon approaching. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him trying to reach for her shoulder, but before he could touch her, she heard a punch land followed by a loud crash. She glanced behind her and saw Poe standing over Elkon. The old man had landed on a crate when he fell, and Poe’s bruised fist was clenched tightly while his eyes burned with more anger than Rey had ever seen from him.

“Try that again and I’ll break your wrist,” Poe snarled.

Elkon’s angry expression at first made Rey think he was going to test Poe’s patience, but he stayed right where he was as Ari knelt down beside him. She turned from them again, not willing to give them one more second of her time or attention. 

Rey heard Poe call Han and Chewbacca as they were walking away, and Poe sounded positively distraught when he gave them the news. She wanted to comfort him, but she couldn’t yet, not while she could still feel Jaben’s blood flowing over her hand. She finally started to hear the voices of other people again, and when she stepped into what looked like a busy town square, she noticed several people stop and stare.

She was disgusted with all of them, too. There was no way at least some of them didn’t notice this happening and yet no one stepped in to try to protect an innocent little boy. Cowards, the lot of them.

“Isha?”

She almost didn’t hear the voice through the toxic mixture of anger and disbelief that was clouding her senses. But when she turned, she saw a woman who looked about the same age as Elkon and Ari. She was plumper than the other slaves, and her skin was a darker shade of brown than Rey had ever seen. She wore a simple black dress that looked to be designed for utility rather than style.

She didn’t know the woman, and she must have made that obvious because the woman said, “It’s me, Murna. Don’t you remember me?”

“She doesn’t remember anyone,” Poe answered for her, and she was very grateful. As angry as she was, she likely would have snapped at Murna. “The First Order wiped her memories.”

Murna’s eyes grew wide and she wobbled slightly as if she were going to fall over. But she pushed whatever was bothering her away quickly enough and looked at Rey.

“Bring him inside, Isha,” she said. “I’ll tend to his wounds.”

Rey tightened her grip on Jaben. “Why should I? I don’t know you, and we have perfectly good medical droids on our ship.”

“I understand,” Murna said. “But please believe me when I say you trusted me once. I have no reason to betray you.”

She was still hesitant, but a moment later, Poe’s hand ran through the back of her hair and calmed her nerves ever so slightly.

“It’s a long walk back to the ship, Rey,” Poe said calmly. “The sooner he gets treated the better.”

She turned her head to look at Jaben’s still-sleeping face, and as nervous as she still was about trusting the woman, she knew Poe was right. If Jaben didn’t get treatment soon, he was going to wake up in severe pain and Rey would have no way to ease it until they made it to the ship.

So she begrudgingly followed Murna into a nearby house, which Rey could now see was actually half home and half medical wing. The place was hardly as adequate as the medial wings in the capital, but it was clean, organized, and looked just as professional. That calmed Rey’s worries immensely.

Murna stood next to a bed in the middle of the room and said, “Lay him here, face-down.”

Rey did as she was asked, making sure to lay Jaben’s head on the pillow. Meanwhile, Murna went to a nearby cabinet and pulled out a syringe and a vial of a clear substance.

“What is that?” Rey asked out of instinct.

Murna filled the syringe as she answered, “An anesthetic.”

Rey watched intently as Murna injected it directly into Jaben’s back, and it was only then that she was able to focus on the full extent of the damage the whip had caused. It made her stomach turn, and it was clear by the scars that were peaking out from behind the blood that this was far from the first time Elkon had done this, while Ari sat by and watched. The biggest coward of them all.

“Isha, I-”  
  
”Rey,” she corrected. She couldn’t hear that name anymore. Not right now.

Murna looked sorrowful when she said, “Rey, then. I need space to work, so can you please stand over there?”

She wasn’t asking her to leave the room, so that was a good sign. Rey stepped back until she collided with a wall, but she never once took her eyes off of Jaben.


	11. Chapter 11

With Jaben’s skin so thoroughly mangled from the whip, there was no way to cleanly seal the wounds, so Murna had been forced to merely disinfect and bandage the wounds tightly to stop the bleeding. He awoke only momentarily during the dressing of the wounds, and it had made Rey’s heart crack in two when he begged to see Isha.

She wanted to be her, for his sake, but all she could do was pretend until he was awake and coherent enough for her to try to explain what happened. But he was so young. He couldn’t be any older than eight. How was she going to explain this in a way he would understand? She didn’t know.

“He’ll sleep for a while,” Murna said as she wiped at her blood-stained hands with a damp cloth. “You’ll want him to stay that way until you can get him to your ship, otherwise he’ll awake in a good deal of pain.”

Rey heard her, but she couldn’t answer. Her eyes were still locked on Jaben’s face, and she only noticed her hand moved when she saw it rest against the side of the sleeping boy’s head. She hated how numb she felt. She was supposed to be both insanely happy to see him and completely relieved that he was out of harm’s way. She’d already known before she came here that she was little more than a husk, the shell left behind when the cicada grows its wings, but it was never more apparent than it was right now.

She turned at the sound of footsteps approaching from behind her, and she saw Han and Chewbacca walking into the room. It was only then that she realized Poe was no longer beside her. She looked around, trying to find where he’d gone.

“He just went for a walk,” Han told her. “He said he’ll be back soon.”

She felt a prick of disappointment, but it died quickly. Anyone would need a minute to clear their head after what had just happened.

Han stepped up next to her and looked down on Jaben. His wrinkled brow crinkled as he said, “I’m sorry, kid. I know this isn’t the way you saw this day going.”

She shrugged. “I’m fine.”

He glanced in her direction. “Don’t pretend it doesn’t bother you. I’m a little too old to fall for that.”

She kept her eyes on Jaben when she answered, “What do you want me to say, Han? I don’t remember Elkon and Ari, at all, so it’s not like I can feel betrayed. I don’t remember Jaben, so I’m not any more upset right now than I would be if I’d rescued some random kid in the capital.”

“That why your hands are shaking?”

She looked at the hand that was still resting on Jaben’s head, and it was, indeed, trembling, though not as much as the clenched fist hanging at her side. She shoved both of her hands into the pockets of her robes and finally tore her eyes away from Jaben.

She flinched when Han’s hand came down on her shoulder, but he didn’t pull it back and said, “There’s nothing I can say, right now, but I just got done talking to Leia. Jaben’s master has agreed to free him and your parents.”

_Parents_. The anger she felt at that word was as sudden as it was powerful.

“They’re _not_ my parents,” she snapped. “And what makes you think I want them freed after what they did?”

Han didn’t look even remotely fazed by her outburst and answered, “You tell me you don’t want them freed, I’ll take it all back right now, but do you really want to do that?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

A small grin formed on Han’s face. “Because I talked to Jaben’s owner. Isha was convinced her parents would be better if they weren’t in bondage anymore. She wanted them freed just as much as Jaben.”

She scoffed. “I’m not Isha.”

“You were once,” he immediately responded. “And you were willing to give up everything to make sure your family was freed. You really okay with making that meaningless?”

She could feel her fingernails digging into her palms as the anger and discomfort in her chest reached a boil. She wanted to shout at Han for poking his nose in where it didn’t belong, but she couldn’t. He was right, and she couldn’t loose her anger at him for telling her what she needed to hear.

Isha was gullible and naive. She was easily led into a trap. But she had something that had been long since ripped out of Rey: hope. It was that hope that made Isha walk willingly into that trap. She hoped she would be able to free her family. She hoped that being free would soften her father. She hoped the scars would be nothing more than a relic of the past. Now Rey, this bitter, angry, mess of a woman, was trying to crush that hope, and for what? Petty revenge?

_Easier is not always better, Rey._

She hadn’t thought much of those words before, but now… Telling herself that Elkon and Ari deserved to stay here and rot would be the easiest thing in the world, and it would feel like justice. But Isha never wanted justice. She wanted hope.

Rey’s eyes fell to the floor and her hands slowly unclenched. “They don’t come anywhere near Jaben unless they’re supervised, and the second Elkon raises a hand to Jaben again, they get cut off from him… permanently. But if they behave, and if Luke tells me he’s sure that they’ve changed, then Jaben can go back to them if he wants to.”

“Luke?”

She nodded. “If he could find the good in Darth Vader, surely he can find the good in those two.”

Han hummed, and when she met his eyes, he looked pleased. He patted her shoulder twice, just as he did with Poe.

“All right, kid,” he said. “I think we can manage that.”

Before Han could take his hand away, she grasped it to stop him. He looked at her expectantly, as she said, “Thank you.”

He placed his other hand gently over the top of hers. “Me and Chewie will take Jaben to the ship. You and Poe can meet us there when you’re ready. And don’t worry. I’ll make sure Leia sends a separate ship for his parents.”

That last sentence calmed her nerves even more and she nodded before releasing Han’s hand. She moved aside to let Chewie pick up Jaben, and she was grateful for how gently the Wookie handled him. Chewie looked at her and let out a quick whine before he headed for the door, moving in such a way that would not jar Jaben too much. She would have to remember to thank him later, too.

Han followed Chewie out, and Rey found herself numb again. She wanted to feel something, so she started walking. She didn’t know where she was going, so she just let her body lead her out of a nearby door and onto a balcony she hadn’t even realized was there.

She looked out over the landscape, and a strange sense of calm came over her. The flowers growing beneath the balcony, the fields of crops, the miles of trees. Perhaps this was a home once. It had to be or these things wouldn’t be making her feel so much more relaxed.

She heard footsteps coming up behind her, and it could only be Murna. She wasn’t sure she was ready to talk to the old woman yet, but she wasn’t about to rebuff her after she’d taken such good care of Jaben. As soon as Murna laid eyes on Rey, a look came over her face that was somewhere between sorrow and fondness.

“You really are her, aren’t you?” Murna asked. “Even if you don’t remember Isha, she’s still in there.”

Rey raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

Murna stepped out onto the balcony, as well, and answered, “This balcony. Anytime you and Jaben needed to escape one of your father’s fits, you would pack him up and bring him here. Once he was either calmed down or asleep, you would always come out here to calm your own mind. It was a trick my late husband taught you.”

Taught? That word caught Rey’s attention.

“Your husband?”

Murna noded. “You called him Master Lor San Tekka. It takes a man with a great heart to marry into slavery, but if he decided I was worthy, who was I to question him?”

Her Jedi Master. She didn’t remember him, either. Not even so much as a face or a voice.

“He noticed you were Force-sensitive the moment he saw you,” she went on. “And he insisted on training you. When Elkon tried to protest, Lor San asked him how he proposed to stop him.”

That revelation almost brought a smile to Rey’s face.

Murna leaned on the balcony’s railing. “I’m sure you’ll find it no surprise that your father never once laid a hand on you or Jaben while my husband was training you. Between Lor San and my boy, your father would have had his hands full if you’d come here with any more whelps, bruises, or wounds.”

“Your boy?” Rey asked. “You have a son?”

Murna’s gaze fell. “Yes. I suppose you wouldn’t remember him, either, would you? My boy wasn’t Force-sensitive like his father, nor was he ever much of a soldier, but farming made him strong and his father’s martial arts training made him fast. I have no doubt in my mind he could have fought Elkon and won. But he never did because you didn’t want him to.”

Murna turned to walk back into the house, and while she was walking away, Rey noticed something she’d been too distracted to notice before. Printed on the back of Murna’s dress was an image made up of swirling white lines that formed a serpent. Her eyes zeroed in, and she scanned over it until Murna turned and disappeared from her sight. She’d seen that symbol before. Where was it? She ran it through her mind again and again, but she couldn’t place it.

Murna reappeared after a few more seconds, and Rey saw a picture frame in her hand.

“My boy,” Murna said with a melancholy tone. “I don’t think he ever loved anything in his life the way he loved you. When you decided to go the First Order, he followed you without a second thought. He had this idea that you two were going to go off and valiantly save your families together.”

After running her hand over the picture, she held it out to Rey. Rey’s hand shook as she took the frame and turned it around. And then the shaking stopped.

“Lio,” Murna said.

Rey only barely registered the name. The shiny bald head, the brown skin, the large frame, and most of all, that annoyingly chipper smile that had made her want to punch his teeth out more than once. It was all there, making her eye fill with tears and her heart pound so hard it was painful. His arm was draped over Isha’s shoulders, and Isha was kissing him on his cheek while she held a bouquet of yellow flowers in her hand.

Finn. Her only friend. The one who _never loved anything in his life the way he loved her_, who somehow found her again after being made to forget she even existed. The one who always tried to make her smile. And she never once smiled for him. She could have given him the tiniest bit of happiness by just smiling for him, but she’d denied him that, over and over again. And now he was…

She lost her grip on the picture as the tears overflowed out of her eye. Murna caught the frame before it could crash to the floor, and she met Rey’s eyes.

“You remember?” Murna said excitedly. “You remember my boy? Then does that-?”

Rey backed away until her lower back slammed into the balcony’s railing and she crumpled to the ground. Every smile. Every joke. Every smartass comment. His habit of following her everywhere, even when she wanted to swat him like a fly. It was all replaying in her mind absent her own will.

And then she remembered the sound of him hitting the ground. The blood pouring from his neck. The stomach-turning sound of him gargling and choking on that blood. Her gloves being soaked through with that blood as she tried in vain to save him. His body going limp.

She felt the crack as if someone had taken a hammer to her ribs. The dam was broken, and the sobs she should have released for him the moment he died came pouring out of her. Murna’s voice was barely breaking through, but it was so muffled, Rey couldn’t understand it, and she didn’t bother trying to. She couldn’t. The universe may as well have halted because Rey’s mind was replaying the moment Finn stopped moving over and over.

Why didn’t you say something to him? Why didn’t you tell him how much you appreciated him? Why didn’t you tell him that his stupid jokes were the only things that kept you from turning completely into the emotionless drone that Kylo Ren and Phasma wanted?

Because you didn’t know, that’s why. You were too damned blind to see it, and now it’s too late. You’ll never get to tell him.

Hands were on her shoulders, but she jolted, trying to escape them out of instinct. But those hands held fast. So strong, maybe as strong as Finn. A voice was breaking through just as Murna’s had, but it definitely wasn’t Murna.

“Rey!” the voice called. “Look at me! Rey!”

She forced her eyes open, and once the veil of tears cleared, she saw his absolutely frantic eyes.

“Poe?”

He pulled her against him without another word, and she let him. Even in her stupor of mourning she was lucid enough to remember her promise. But her arms had no strength, so she couldn’t hold onto him. All she could do was slump forward and let her eyes fall closed again.

*****

When she woke up again, she didn’t immediately recognize her surroundings. She sat up with a start and began looking around frantically only to be immediately calmed by the sight of Poe approaching her from across what she could now see was a livingroom. She looked down to see she was sprawled out on a couch, and she turned to let her feet touch the floor as Poe moved to sit on the coffee table in front of her.

One of his hands was resting on her cheek when he asked, “Hey, you okay?”

She shook her head. “Not really.”

He sighed. “Yeah. That was a stupid question.”

She didn’t know what to say, so she kept silent as he moved to sit beside her on the couch instead. He laced his fingers in between hers, and she gripped back more tightly than she’d meant to when she noticed Murna sitting across the room in a chair. Her eyes were puffy, but she looked more peaceful than distraught.

But Rey was plenty distraught for the both of them when she said, “Murna, I’m-”

“Don’t, my dear,” she said softly. “It’s all right. You couldn’t have known.”

She leaned forward with her elbows on her knees and blew out a heavy breath.

“I knew,” she said. “I didn’t want to accept it, but part of me knew he was gone. My boy… he never would have gone this long without at least contacting me unless he was either being held captive or…”

Rey was glad she wasn’t able to speak the words because she didn’t want to hear them. She’d thought about it more than enough for one day.

“Poe told me you were with him when it happened,” she went on. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, but you’ll forgive me if I’m comforted to know that he didn’t die alone.”

If only Rey could have been comforted by that fact. She would have much preferred to bring Finn back to her. Even if he didn’t remember her…

The idea came over her as suddenly as the tears she’d cried for Finn, and she didn’t know why it hadn’t before. But she would speak to Luke about it later. For now, there was something more immediate she wanted to take care of.

She pushed a few buttons on her communicator and told Murna, “He won’t have died in vain, either.”

She heard the beeping that let her know the call was going out, followed by the clicking of the connection starting.

“Hey, kid,” came Han’s voice. “What’s going on?”

“You think you and the General can manage to free one more slave?”

Murna’s tear-stained eyes grew wide and she said, “Ish- I’m sorry, Rey. You don’t need to be concerned about me.”

Rey shook her head. “Shut up. You’re Lio’s mother. I’m not leaving you here.”

She heard Han chuckle before he said, “I figured you might ask about her. Leia is gonna have her picked up in the same ship that comes for your parents.”

She still chaffed at them being called her parents, but she said nothing about it. There was no sense in denying reality, no matter how much she might dislike it.

“Thanks, Han,” Rey said before she hung up.

Murna was keeping her eyes averted as if she were embarrassed about what had just occurred. Rey let go of Poe’s hand and walked across the room to kneel in front of Murna.

She took hold of one of Murna’s lightly-wrinkled hands and said, “You’ve done a lot for me and Jaben already, but can I ask you for one more thing?”

Murna’s eyes finally met hers again and she asked, “What is it?”

Rey blew out a breath. “Jaben’s about to be in a place he’s never been to before, surrounded by strangers. I think things will be easier for him if he has someone familiar there with him, and… I might look like his sister, but I don’t know him like you do anymore. Can you look out for him, at least until I know him again?”

The melancholy that had been present on Murna’s face since Rey awoke lessened, if only a little, and her hand gently gripped Rey’s.

“My dear, it would be my pleasure.”

*****

The walk back to the ship felt far longer than the walk from it had, and by the time Rey stepped on board, she was ready to fall over. But she couldn’t yet. There was one more thing that had to be done before she could rest. While Poe went to the cockpit, Rey went to the medical wing of the ship, where she found Jaben was already awake and poking at the medical droid.

He turned when he heard her come in and exclaimed, “Isha!”

Rey tried not to flinch at the sound of the name as she stepped closer to the bed. She pulled up a nearby chair and sat down, running over in her mind again how she planned on starting this conversation.

“How are you feeling?” she asked him.

He shrugged his tiny shoulders. “I dunno. Better, I guess.”

“Good, because we have to talk.”

Some of the light in his eyes died down, and she hated how it made her chest wrench. She leaned forward with her elbows on her knees and wound her hands together.

“The people who took me away, the First Order,” she began. “They’re not good people. They’re really, really bad people. They told me and Lio that they’d help us free our families, but they lied.”

Jaben cocked his head to the side. “They lied?”

She nodded. “As soon as I got to their biggest ship, they took me into a room, and they did something to my brain so that I’d forget everything and everyone I ever knew.”

It took a few seconds of his eyes darting about the floor, but he eventually said, “So… you don’t remember me?”

She’d known it was gonna sting, but that still didn’t prepare her for it.

“I don’t remember anyone,” she said. “I didn’t even know my name until someone told me what it was.”

He went quiet for what felt like an eternity, but Rey didn’t move a muscle. She knew he would need time to process this, and she would give him as much as he needed.

“It’s okay,” he finally said. “You’re still Isha.”

“I’m really not,” she answered. “I don’t remember Isha. I only remember Rey. That’s who I am now.”

“Who cares what your name is?” he said adamantly. “You came back for me, just like you said you would. You protected me from Papa, just like you used to. You even brought me to Murna’s house to get my back fixed.”

That was true. Even if she hadn’t come back because she remembered her promise, did the reason matter all that much in the end? He was safe, and she would make sure he stayed that way. Wasn’t that what big sisters were supposed to do?

“I don’t mind calling you Rey,” he said. “As long as you promise to never leave again.”

Leaving him had never once crossed her mind. She smiled and reached a hand out to rest against the side of his head.

“I’m training to become a Jedi,” she said. “So I won’t be able to live with you like I used to, but you’ll be staying with Murna, and I’ll come to visit as much as I can. I won’t be away as long as I was ever again. I promise.”

His eyes lit back up right away. “A Jedi? Like Mister Tekka? Does that mean you get to use those awesome beam swords?”

She chuckled at his enthusiasm. “Yep. I’ll show you one when we get to the capital if you promise you’ll get some more rest on the way back.”

“I will!” he said right away. “I’ll sleep like a baby.”

She stood up and stretched her arms over her head. “Sleep. That actually sounds pretty good right about now. I’ll see you when we land, Jaben.”

“Night, Rey,” he said right before she left the room and closed the door behind her.

Her back leaned against the closed door, and she exhaled heavily. He’d taken it a lot better than she thought he would. That was a small mercy, at least.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Poe approaching from the direction of the cockpit, and she gave a weak smile.

“Hey,” he said. “How’s he doing.”

She peeled her back away from the door. “Better than me, I think.”

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and said, “Yeah, you’ve definitely looked better. Let’s go get some rest.”

Poe led her down a hallway and toward an open door. Within the room was one very large bed, which she immediately went to. She kicked off her dirty shoes and flopped onto the bed, landing on her back. And it felt like heaven. She released a sigh of relief and looked to Poe, who was still standing at the foot of the bed.

She rolled her eyes. “Will you stop being a gentleman for five minutes and get over here? You look just as wrecked as I do.”

He laughed lightly and did as she asked, but even after he lay down beside her, he didn’t attempt to wrap an arm around her or anything. She moved closer to him and rolled onto her stomach so she could rest her arms on his chest.

“What’s wrong?” she asked him.

A look came over his face then that she’d never seen before. Was he embarrassed? As surprising as it was, it brought a smile to her face.

“Poe?” she said with a giggle in her voice. “What’s going on with you?”

He brought his hands up behind his head and kept his eyes averted. “Nothing. It’s stupid. Don’t worry about it.”

She raised an eyebrow and poked him once in the chest. “No way. You _have_ to tell me now.”

He groaned aloud and covered his eyes with his hand. “You’re a pain in my ass, do you know that?”

“I’m gonna be a pain in the side of your head if you don’t start talking.”

He exhaled heavily and returned his hand to the back of his head. He still didn’t look at her when he said, “Just never thought this trip would end with me having to compete with a dead guy.”

A dead guy? What was he…?

She figured it out, and despite knowing this was likely a legitimate concern he was having, it was far too amusing not to laugh. She buried her face in his chest and shook her head at the same time.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said. “Laugh it up.”

She raised her head. “I’m sorry, but come on. You know I don’t remember Finn that way.”

He was still looking away, so she put a hand on his cheek to make him look at her.  
  
”There’s no competition,” she told him. “And even if there was… you’d win.”

He looked embarrassed for a second time, but it was quickly replaced with his typical smirk. He brought one of his hands down to grasp onto the back of her head and pulled her up for a kiss.

When he broke away, he kept their lips a mere inch apart and said, “You really know how to inflate a guy’s ego.”

She grinned, and he pulled her back in for another kiss. But she couldn’t let it last too long because she remembered. She had a call to make before she fell asleep.

She pulled away and put a finger over his lips. “Put a pin in it for just a minute.”

She pushed a few buttons on her communicator and waited for the ring. Once the line connected, she leaned her head on Poe’s chest and said, “Hey, Luke.”

“Rey,” he answered. “Han told me what happened. Are you all right?”

She didn’t have an answer to that question just yet, so she settled for telling him, “I found it.”

There was a brief pause before Luke said, “It?”

“That purpose you told me to find.”

She heard a hum followed by Luke saying, “I see. Well, you can tell me all about it when you get back. For now, get some rest. You sound wretched.”

She felt it, too. She hung up and looked up at Poe, who was grinning from ear to ear.

“Purpose?”

She nodded and leaned in closer. “Yeah. He told me I had to find a purpose apart from protecting you and being a Jedi.”

His eyebrows raised. “Protecting me, huh?”

She shrugged. “You _do_ need it sometimes.”

He grasped onto the back of her hair and pulled her in again, stopping only momentarily to tell her, “You really _are_ a pain in my ass.”


	12. Chapter 12

The first time Rey landed in the capital, it had been only Jemma waiting for her. This time, Luke was standing with her, and when Rey stepped off of the ship, she was baffled to see a look on Luke’s face that almost looked like pride. She might have been happy to see it if she knew what she’d done to deserve it.

Jaben was holding tightly to her hand as she approached them both and motioned first toward Luke.

“Jaben, this is Luke,” she said. “He’s my new Jedi Master. And this lady here is Jemma. She’s gonna take you somewhere comfortable while you wait for Murna to get here.”

He squeezed her hand tighter. “But I wanna stay with you.”

She patted the back of his hand, “I know, but I have to go to an important meeting with Luke and the General. I’ll come to see you after, and I’ll wait for Murna with you. I promise.”

He still appeared hesitant, but he didn’t argue anymore. Jemma stepped up to him and knelt down to his level.

“Tell me Jaben,” she said. “Have you ever played with a toy TIE Fighter?”

His little eyes lit up. “No.”

She held a hand out to him. “Well, then do I have a treat for you.”

His excitement was apparent when he took Jemma’s hand and allowed her to lead him away. Rey knew he would be okay with Jemma, but she couldn’t help the tugging in her chest that told her to follow him.

She saw Luke move out of the corner of her eye, and she turned to him as he held out his arm with the prosthetic hand.

“Walk with me.”

She took his arm and glanced back at Poe.

He got the idea and said, “I’ll meet you in the General’s office.”

She gave him an acknowledging nod and followed Luke as he led her toward the port’s main building, but through a side door she’d never taken. She could only assume it was some sort of employee entrance because there were fewer people as they walked through and when they made it back outside, they were in a less-traveled area.

Beyond, she saw one of the capital’s many parks, this one with a longer stone path than any of the other ones she’d seen. Luke continued to remain silent as they made their way to the park. Once they’d taken a few steps into it, she knew why he’d chosen this place. It was by far one of the quietest places she’d been to in the entire city.

When he finally spoke, he said, “I have a confession to make, Rey. Before you and Han left, I asked him to keep tabs on you during the trip.”

Keep tabs? She didn’t like the sound of that.

“It was deceitful, I know,” he said. “But we’ve had very little time to get to know each other since you arrived, and I needed to know how you’d handle the situation with your parents. That would tell me more about you than anything I’ve seen from you so far. I’m pleased to say you didn’t disappoint me.”

She stopped walking, and he looked at her. She saw that he was being sincere, but she hadn’t thought that she handled the situation very well at all.

“I didn’t?” she genuinely asked. “I was about to leave my parents in slavery. Han had to talk me out of it.”

Luke grinned and tugged at her arm, asking her to move again. She obeyed, but she kept her eyes on him, waiting for an answer. The silence went on for several moments, and during that time he gently let go of her arm and held up his prosthetic hand.

“My father was the one who cut this off,” he said. “I was a young, foolish boy who ran head-first into a fight with who I thought was my father’s murderer. Even after I found out he was my father and I resolved to redeem him, the anger I felt toward him for falling to the dark side and doing _this_ to me remained.”

During the brief pause, he held the arm back out to let her take it.

“I confronted my father on Darth Sidious’ personal starship,” he went on. “Sidious was determined to turn me, and so was my father. They tried everything, but nothing worked… until my father threatened Leia.”

Luke’s eyes averted in shame. “The very thought of him trying to corrupt Leia sent me into a rage. I assaulted my father viciously and, in my bloodlust, I very nearly killed him. If I had… I don’t want to think of who I’d be now.”

The pained tone in his voice made her tighten her grip on his arm.

“Everyone considers the wrong path at some point, Rey, because the wrong path is almost always easier,” he said. “What matters is that you were willing to change course when you were shown another point of view. You’ll find those who are completely lost to the Dark Side are not capable of such a change.”

That last sentence gave her pause. She knew it was likely a touchy subject, but she had to inquire.

“How did you know your father wasn’t completely lost?” she asked. “I don’t know the whole story, but I know he blew up a planet. How could you know that a man who killed that many people was capable of coming back?”

A pensive smile curled on his lips. “When I met my father in battle for the first time, he was leagues stronger than me. He could have killed me with little more than a wave of his hand, but he didn’t. From the very moment we met, his plan was always to turn me."

This time, Luke was the one to stop walking, and while he turned toward her, he kept his eyes on her hands as he grasped them with both of his.

“You pave the path to the Dark Side by cutting off connections,” he explained. “Severing your strongest connection is how you lose yourself completely.”

He wasn’t saying it, so she said it for him, “You mean killing the one you love the most.”

His eyes temporarily squeezed closed before he answered, “Yes. Once you’ve done that, I don’t know that there’s any coming back.”

It made a macabre sort of sense. If you still have enough humanity left to love someone that strongly, then you can’t truly be beyond redemption. But she couldn’t imagine that many people would be willing to go the lengths Luke went to in order to bring back a man who had fallen as far as Vader did.

Luke raised his head as he squeezed her hands and said, “Forgive me, Rey. I meant to praise you for doing the right thing, not bring up such a grim topic.”

She wasn’t sure why he thought a grim topic would bother her, but she shrugged it off. A smile returned to his face and he led her the rest of the way out of the park and toward a red sky car with a familiar gold droid standing outside of it.

“Oh, Master Luke,” C-3PO said, “I feared you’d gotten lost.”

Luke smirked as he stepped up to the car. “Not likely, 3PO. Now let’s get to Leia’s office. I wanna hear about this purpose of yours, Rey.”

She was just as eager to tell him, so she climbed into the back seat of the car.

*****

When they arrived at the General’s office, they found Poe sitting in one of three chairs that were placed in front of her desk. The General was typing into a projection when Rey moved to sit in the chair that was right next to Poe’s. He flashed Rey a quick smile, and held a hand out to her, which she took right away. She didn’t know why he seemed to always want to be holding her hand, but she was far from bothered by it.

After Luke sat down, the General swiped the projection away and said, “All right, Poe. I’ve sent the update through, and you’ll start back in two weeks.”

Rey didn’t miss his expression of mild annoyance, but he said nothing. He’d done a good job of not letting the fact that he was grounded chafe at him too badly, but everyone has their limits.

The General leaned forward with her elbows on the desk. “Now then. What is this idea of yours, Rey?”

Despite asking for this meeting, she couldn’t escape the nerves that reared their ugly heads and she squeezed Poe’s hand a little tighter.

“I thought about it when I found out about Finn,” she began. “I always knew that the other Stormtroopers weren’t given a real choice in being there any more than I was, but it never occurred to me to try to do something about it.”

The General looked intrigued. “And now?”

“Now,” Rey said, “I’m thinking if I can break out of the mental box Phasma and Kylo Ren had me in, who’s to say the others can’t?”

The General’s eyes went to Luke right before Luke turned his head and looked at Rey.

“You think you could break them out?” he asked.

“Maybe?” she answered honestly. “If they’ve gone through the second round of re-education, I’m not sure there’s much hope for them. You more or less have to break your ability to feel empathy in order to get through that with your sanity intact.”

This time, Poe squeezed her hand, and she knew he was thinking exactly what she was thinking. Even now it frightened her how close she came to being put through that.

The General hummed. “The re-educated aside, if you were going to try to break the others out, how would you go about it?”

Now came the crux of the plan as well as the trickiest part, so she let herself take a breath and make sure her thoughts were in order.

Then she met the General’s eyes and said, “I thought we could use the traitor to our advantage.”

The General raised her head slightly. “How so?”

“Find a way for me to get in contact with a large group of Stormtroopers,” Rey explained. “Let me talk to them, and let me try to convince them to defect like I did. And make _no_ secret of this plan. The traitor _needs_ to know about it.”

“Why?”

Rey had to admit to feeling a small bit of pride when she said, “Because I’m going to tell the Stormtroopers about how Phasma wanted to send me to re-education before I’d even done anything wrong, all because she thought I was ‘too strong.’ If she was willing to do that to me, what do you think she’s gonna do when the traitor tells her about an escaped Trooper trying to turn the others?”

The General’s eyes went wider. “She’ll start a mass re-education.”

Rey nodded. “Finn dying broke me out of my box, but Kylo Ren trying to have me re-educated is what drove me to try to escape. If the Republic had offered me a way out, you can bet I’d have taken it in a heartbeat. I’d imagine most of the others will feel the same way.”

She felt her own expression wilt when she said, “I also thought, if Jaina is one of the Troopers, this might be our best chance of getting her back.”

The General’s pained expression sent a pang of guilt through Rey that made her squeeze Poe’s hand even harder.

“I’m sorry, General,” Rey said right away. “I shouldn’t have-”

“No, Rey,” the General interrupted. “You have nothing to be sorry for. The idea is a good one, and I’ll see what can be done about getting you in contact with some of the Stormtroopers.”

The projection appeared in front of her again and she typed in a few words before she swiped it away again.

The pained expression melted into a gentle grin when she looked at Poe and said, “She’s a keeper.”

Rey’s cheeks heated up, but Poe just grinned back and said, “I know.”

She was definitely embarrassed, but she couldn’t help also being ridiculously happy that Poe sounded so proud of her.

Luke shifting in his chair drew Rey’s attention, and when she looked at him, he said, “Well, that explains your plan, but what about the ‘purpose’ you said you’d found?”

Rey shrugged. “The former Stormtroopers are gonna need someone to help them with the transition and reuniting with their families. Who better than someone who’s done it before?”

Luke’s lips curled into a pleased grin and he glanced at the General. Her wrinkled face softened immensely when she said, “You’re full of surprises, Rey.”

*****

After a quick reminder from Luke about her training the following day, Rey and Poe left the General’s office and headed in the direction of Jemma’s lab. He had yet to let go of her hand, and that left her wondering about it again. She was ready to ask him about it, but she was halted in her steps when they passed Jacen’s room. She’d only momentarily glanced in, expecting to only see him, but she’d caught a glimpse of Jemma and Jaben, as well. She motioned toward the door, and Poe went with her as she opened the door and stepped inside.

“Rey!” Jaben exclaimed as he came bounding toward her from a chair in the corner of the room.

Rey saw that Jemma had made good on her promise to give him a toy TIE fighter as he very nearly dropped it when he went to hug her. She knelt to his level to make it easier, and while she was hugging him, she noticed Jemma was standing right next to Jacen’s bed with her hands shifting around right next to his head.

She kept her hands on Jaben’s shoulders as she stood up to see what Jemma was up to. She hadn’t noticed it the last time she came into the room, but there was some sort of device hooked up to Jacen’s ear and attached to the side of his head. Judging by the very small tools in her hands, Jemma was performing some sort of maintenance on the device.

“Forgive me, Rey,” Jemma said, not taking her eyes off of her work. “I know I was meant to entertain him for a while, but Jacen’s hearing aid was as long overdue for a tune-up as Master Luke’s hand was.”

“It’s no big deal,” Rey answered. “Thanks for watching him.”

Jemma smiled as she pulled the tools away and stood up straight. Rey could see the sheen of sweat painting Jemma’s forehead as she put the tools into the pocket of her beige trousers.

“It was no trouble,” she said. “He’s a very well-behaved young man.”

She likely hadn’t meant for Rey to notice it, but Jemma always sounded so cheerful that any amount of sadness in her voice was impossible to miss. On top of that, her hand visibly shook when she pocketed another tool that had been sitting next to Jacen’s arm.

“Jemma?” Rey said. “Are you all right?”

Jemma smiled, but it was obvious that it was forced. “Of course. There’s no need for you to concern yourself.”

She could say that, but Rey had gained enough affection for Jemma to be worried about her. And if she was going to be the one who helped other former Stormtroopers, then she ought to be able to at least help Jemma too.

She looked back at Jaben and said, “I’m gonna have a quick word with Ms. Jemma. Why don’t you let Poe tell you all about a real TIE fighter? He’s a pilot, so he knows all about them.”

Jaben’s eyes almost sparkled. “A pilot?”

She glanced apologetically at Poe, but he didn’t look bothered in the slightest.

He put his hand on Jaben’s shoulder and said, “That’s right. Best pilot in the Republic.”

She smiled as Poe winked at her and led Jaben out of the room. She then turned her attention to Jemma, who had moved to a nearby chair. She sat down heavily and blew out a breath.

“You really don’t need to worry, Rey,” Jemma repeated. “It’s nothing but an old wound. Nothing is going to fix that.”

Rey shrugged. “Sometimes all you need is for someone to listen.”

Jemma still looked hesitant, but Rey wasn’t going to back down. She’d built Rey a new eye. The least she could do was listen to her troubles.

“It’s a simple case of your brother reminding me of my son,” Jemma said.

“Your son? I never knew you had one.”

Jemma’s eyes fell. “Why would you? He was killed a long time ago.”

Rey swallowed heavily. “Killed?”

Jemma nodded. “My son was naturally gifted in the Force from a very early age, and it didn’t take him long to become as powerful as Master Luke, but it came at a terrible price.”

Her expression turned pained as she went on, “He was killed by his very own apprentice. The death… was not quick or painless.”

_Hear me_.

Jemma didn’t react, so Rey didn’t bother trying to look around as she did the last time this happened. She still hadn’t spoken to Luke about this, but she was definitely going to have to when she went to training tomorrow.

Rey banished the thoughts from her mind and said, “I’m sorry.”

Jemma shook her head. “It was years ago. I shouldn’t have troubled you with it, at all.”

“It’s no trouble,” Rey answered. “The General is right. You don’t think enough of yourself.”

A look of quiet contemplation appeared on Jemma’s face before she said, “Perhaps. But I’m old, so that’s not likely to change anytime soon.”

She reached out and ran a hand through Jacen’s hair before she picked up the cloth all of her tools had been sitting on.

She shoved it into another pocket and said, “I need to get back to work, Rey. Thank you for listening.”

There wasn’t an ounce of sincerity in her voice, and it stung. Rey really had been trying to help, but it seemed all she’d done was irritate Jemma. That was the last thing she’d wanted. She said nothing as Jemma left the room and closed the door behind her.

Well, that went well, didn’t it? Your first real attempt to help someone and you fail miserably. Some help to the former Stormtroopers _you’re_ gonna be.

_Rey, hear me._

Her eyes grew wider and she started to look around despite knowing she wasn’t going to see anything or anyone. It had never called her name before, and it was more frightening than she could have foreseen. No. This couldn’t wait until tomorrow. As soon as Murna got here, she had to go see Luke. He would know what to do.

But for now, she had to pull herself together. She wasn’t about to add to Jaben’s worries. After taking a quick glance at Jacen, she turned to leave, the silence broken by a single word:

_Traitor._

She tried to ignore it and walked down the hallway until she came to the front door of the building. Right outside of the door, she found Poe and Jaben watching the toy TIE fighter float through the air in front of them. Poe’s lips were moving, but Jaben was just watching the fighter in fascination. It brought a smile to her face to see them getting along so well, and she went out to meet up with them.

Poe noticed her first and she told him, “Thanks, Poe.”

“It’s no big deal,” he answered. “How’s Jemma doing?”

She sighed. “I think I might have actually made it worse.”

A little bit of the discomfort melted away when he slid his hand into hers again.

“Don’t blame yourself,” he said. “Jemma’s a tough nut to crack. Always has been. We’ve all pretty well figured out that she prefers to deal with her problems on her own.”

But was she dealing with them? Rey wasn’t so sure. She buried herself in work, but that seemed like more of a distraction than anything. Still, Rey knew that Poe was right. If Jemma didn’t want help, all of Rey’s efforts would be for naught, so she let the subject drop.

She tapped Jaben on the shoulder, and when he looked at her, she asked, “Wanna go to the biggest playground on this half of the system?”

She didn’t know if it was true, but that was what the advertisement had said when she and Poe were looking at places they could bring Jaben while on the way back to the city. Whether it was true or not didn’t seem to matter to him because he nodded so wildly she thought his neck might break.

She put a hand on his head and said, “Well, let’s go then.”

Poe led them both to his sky car and after they were all piled in, they took off in the direction of the park. During the short trip, Jaben leaned forward with his arms hanging over the front seat between Poe and Rey.

She glanced at him when he asked, “So… is Poe your boyfriend now?”

The question came so far out of left field that Rey found herself, at first, too embarrassed to answer. An awkward clearing of her throat had Poe chuckling, but he didn’t say anything. She almost wished he would have.

“Um… yeah,” she finally answered.

With an innocence that made Rey’s chest ache, he asked, “But, what about Lio? You liked him a lot.”

She really hadn’t wanted to talk about this, especially not to Jaben of all people. She wasn’t fully past it yet, and she wasn’t sure when she was going to be. But he needed these answers, and no matter how much she might want to protect him, there was no way to sugar-coat it.

“Lio he…” she took another second. She had to. “He died.”

The pause that followed was uncomfortably long, and Rey felt the need to glance back at Jaben. His expression had twisted into one of horror and he scooted back into his seat.

“He did?”

She nodded. “I’m sorry. I know that’s not what you wanted to hear.”

He didn’t answer. In fact, he turned away completely and stared out over the city as Poe continued to drive. She wanted to say something to comfort him, but what could she say? He might have been her brother, but Jemma and Poe likely knew him better than she did at this point. So she stayed silent, only taking concerned glances at him for the rest of the trip.

Poe parked the car right outside of the park, and despite being so eager to go, Jaben didn’t move when he saw it. The look of horror from before had turned into anguish, and his little hands were clasped together tightly.

With her arm resting on the seat, Rey asked, “Jaben? What’s wrong?”

He jumped at her words as if she’d shouted them, and he kept is eyes averted as he shook his head. She glanced at Poe, and he took the hint as he climbed out of the car and walked over to a nearby bench where he was still in sight but out of earshot. At that point, Rey climbed into the back seat and sat next to Jaben, who immediately tried to scoot away from her.

She grasped his arm firmly, but not too tightly. “Jaben, talk to me.”

He shook his head again. “I can’t. You were right. You’re not Isha.”

She let go of his arm. That hurt. It hurt more than she could possibly describe and she didn’t understand why. She was the one who told him she wasn’t Isha.

“Jaben-”

“You just said he died like it was nothing!” he interrupted. “Isha wouldn’t have done that! Isha loved Lio, and Lio loved her!”

Now, she was the one scooting away. She wasn’t sure what sort of face she was making, but she could definitely feel tears starting to form.

“It’s not fair!” he shouted. “I want Isha back!”

He may as well have punched her in the gut for how her stomach lurched and she lost all of her breath. She’d expected this from her parents. She’d outright told them that Isha was dead and disowned them. But Jaben… she thought he’d taken the news so well. She wasn’t prepared for this level of rejection.

She should have been. Getting so comfortable with this was the worst mistake she’d made so far. He was a child. She’d left as his sister and come back as a broken and poor imitation of her. What did she expect?

Her eyes fell to the seat, and she had to swallow a knot in her throat when she said, “I’m sorry. I wish I could be her.”

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and when she turned, she saw Poe standing outside of the car.

His concerned gaze was on Jaben when he asked, “Rey, what’s going on?”

The beeping of her communicator stopped her from answering him, and when she answered it, she heard Han’s voice come through, “Hey, kid. Just wanted to let you know that the ship carrying Murna and your parents just arrived. Murna will be waiting at the port.”

She let him go with a quick ‘thanks,’ unwilling to speak any more than she needed to and climbed back into the front seat. Poe slid in next to her, and she took his hand first, this time.

“Sorry, Poe,” she said. “But go ahead and take us to the port. There’s not gonna be any playground today.”

She felt his eyes on her for a few seconds, but he didn’t argue and started the car back up.

*****

When they arrived at the port, Jaben practically ran to Murna. And when Rey tried to approach and explain what happened, Jaben moved away. The continued rejection was painful, but she had to force out the explanation anyway. Murna’s eyes were filled with sympathy when she assured Rey she would talk to him. Despite having no faith that talking would do any good, Rey thanked her and climbed back into the car with Poe.

Without telling her where they were going, he started the car up and drove off into a part of the city he’d never taken her to before. The buildings were significantly smaller, and there was far more greenery. If there had been a few ponds and fields of crops, she might have mistaken it for the town she grew up in.

He parked the car next to one of the houses, and she took a quick look at the building. It wasn’t run down, but there was obvious wear on it that let her know the house was older. To the left of it, she saw a small statue of a woman with a bouquet of flowers lying at her feet. There was no name printed anywhere that she could see, but it was obvious it was a grave marker. The fresh flowers and lack of weeds showed that the grave was very well cared for.

Poe climbed out of the car and stepped around to her side. He opened her door and held a hand out to her. She took it, but her legs felt like lead as she followed him toward the grave marker. As he looked at it, she could see the mourning behind his eyes.

All of her previous worries were forgotten, and she asked, “Who is this?”

His hand squeezed hers tighter as he answered, “My mom.”

Her eyes returned to the marker, and it was at that point she finally noticed a small holocron sitting in the statue’s cupped hands. Poe’s hand came into view as he activated it and a picture of two people appeared in front of her. One of them was the woman the statue was made in the likeness of, and the other was a small boy. He was holding onto the woman’s hand and they were both smiling.

And then another picture appeared of them both sitting at a table having lunch, his hand clasped in hers. Then another picture, and another. Each one showed them in a different place with a different activity, but the hand-holding was the one constant.

After the last picture faded, she turned to him again, and while she’d never wanted to push before, she had to ask, “What happened?”

He kept his eyes on the statue when he answered, “Dad was killed in action. She tried to carry on, she even told me over and over that she’d known it could happen one day. She’d been preparing for it. In hindsight, I don’t know if she was trying to convince me or herself.”

He let go of her hand and walked past the statue. She followed him, and he pointed toward a couple of tall buildings off in the distance.

“They found her in between those two buildings,” he said. “They weren’t sure exactly how long she’d been there, but by her injuries, they could definitely tell she’d jumped.”

Before she could say a word, he turned back to her and took both of her hands.

“I’m not telling you this as some kind of pissing contest,” he said. “I just know that if my mom came back to life tomorrow not remembering me at all, I’d still be happy to have her back.”

His hands moved up to the side of her head. “Jaben will realize that, too. Just don’t give up, all right?”

The tears she’d almost shed in front of Jaben earlier came back in full force, and they were soon leaking from her eyes faster than she could wipe them away. He had his arms around her in an instant, and her tears were seeping into his shirt despite her trying to keep any more from falling. She wasn’t the one who should be crying. Jaben was the one who had lost a sibling.

“He needs his sister,” she said. “Being near me is just gonna remind him that she’s gone.”

His hand moved through her hair when he said, “At first, yeah, but we had time to chat while you were talking to Jemma. Trust me when I say he’s a smart kid. He’ll come around. He just needs time.”

That ridiculous confidence of his. She wished she knew where he got it.

She pulled back and tried to clean off her face, leaving wet stains on the sleeves of her robes. She couldn’t say she felt completely at ease, but it was enough for the tears to stop, so she’d take it.

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll keep trying.”

A smile curled on his lips and he sounded perfectly smug when he said, “That’s what I like to hear.”

She rolled her eyes and turned to lean her head on his shoulder. He brought an arm up to wrap around her. She looked out over this more quiet part of the city and couldn’t help but be calmed by it.

“This part of the city,” she said. “I think I like it better.”

“That right?”

She nodded. “You think we can come back here again sometime?”

He pulled her a little closer. “You bet.”


	13. Chapter 13

“No, no, no,” Dia said with absolute frustration. “You just said ‘eat your socks.’ Try it again.”

Rey had to admit to being a little bit frustrated herself. When she’d asked Dia and Farren to teach her how to sign, she hadn’t foreseen it being so difficult. There were some words with such subtle differences that a mere flick of the wrist could change your meaning entirely.

She’d barely touched her breakfast because this was really one of the only times during the day that Rey was completely free for the lessons. But she had training with Luke soon, so she picked up her fork.

“We’ll do some more later, Dia,” Rey said. “I’m starving.”

Dia looked disappointed, but she answered, “Yeah, I guess having shaky hands isn’t helping with this much.”

Rey hadn’t even noticed her hands were shaking, but she knew they’d stop once her stomach had more food in it. She finished her food quickly and went to take the tray over to the sink. She was on her way back to the table when she heard it. Sniffling and quiet crying.

She looked around the room and didn’t see anyone, but when she honed in on the sound, she found it was coming from the direction of the sink. She went back and saw an entryway a few feet to the right of the sink that led to what appeared to be a short hallway. When she started walking toward it, the crying became louder.

After poking her head into the entryway, she found she’d been right about the hallway, and at the end of it was a sliding door that was half-open. The crying was coming from within, so she silently pushed the door the rest of the way open and stepped inside. Her expression wilted when she saw the red hair and normally fierce, angry eyes of Eva. Only this time, those eyes were bloodshot and overflowing with tears. She was sitting in the middle of the floor with her legs crossed and her hair looking disheveled.

Her eyes fell on Rey, and Rey's first instinct was to apologize and leave, but before she could say anything, Eva looked away and scoffed.

“What do you want, Stormtrooper? Gonna hit me again?”

Rey crossed her arms. “Only if you try to hit me first.”

Eva spat at her. “Go to hell.”

Rey looked around the room, which she could now see was a cleaning supplies closet. The only supplies that were disturbed were a pack of paper towels that were sitting on the floor next to Eva. That was when it dawned on Rey.

“Where’s Pierce?” Rey asked her. “Why isn’t he with you?”

“Because he’s getting his nose worked on!” Eva snapped back. “Why do you care anyway?”

Despite knowing she’d only been defending herself, Rey couldn’t help the small pang of guilt at knowing she was the reason Eva was having to deal with whatever this was alone. Rey remembered how she’d felt before Farren comforted her that night. She couldn’t bear the thought of Eva continuing to feel like that, no matter how much Eva hated her.

She went to the sliding door and pushed the button on the side to both close and lock it. And then she went to the spot where she’d been standing and sat down. This might make her late for her training with Luke, but she was sure he would forgive her this once.

Eva’s hateful glare shot through Rey when she snarled, “What are you doing?”

Rey didn’t answer and just stared back at her.

“You’re the last person I want to see right now!” Eva exclaimed. “Go away!”

Rey shook her head. She couldn’t be a friend to Eva, she knew Eva would never allow it. But she could be a punching bag if that was what Eva needed.

“Who do you think you are?” Eva growled, shakily climbing to her feet. “I told you to leave!”

Rey still stayed quiet, even as Eva approached and reached down to grab her by the collar of her robes. She was much stronger than Rey initially realized because she was able to easily yank her to her feet and shove her against a nearby shelf. Several bottles of sealed cleaner tumbled to the floor around them, and Eva pulled Rey’s face closer.

“Do you think I want your pity?” Eva asked. “You, of all people?”

Rey kept her voice calm when she answered, “What makes you think I’m pitying you?”

Eva slammed Rey against the shelf again, still keeping hold of her collar. “What else do you call this? Sitting there like some shrink and expecting me to what, confide in you? Don’t make me laugh.”

“I was expecting you to do what you’re doing right now.”

Eva looked taken aback for a brief moment, but it melted back into a mixture of anger and suspicion.

“Then why don’t you fight back?”

“I told you before," Rey replied. "I don’t want to fight you.”

For the first time since she’d met her, Rey saw the anger in Eva’s eyes dissipate almost entirely. She didn’t say anything, so Rey raised her hands to grasp onto both of Eva’s wrists. She expected Eva to jerk her hands back, but she didn’t.

“I didn’t kill your brother, Eva.”

Eva visibly flinched and broke eye contact. A little bit of her body weight shifted against Rey, and more tears started leaking from her eyes.

“I know.”

Rey opened her mouth to answer, but before she could, Eva went for the door. She let herself out and didn’t close the door behind her. Left alone with the quiet, Rey wasn’t sure what else to do, so she made all of the fallen over cleaning supplies float back onto the shelf and picked up the paper towels Eva had left on the floor.

With the room presentable, she went back out to the cafeteria and was met with Farren and Dia’s frantic expressions. Farren’s hands moved and Rey was able to understand.

_What happened?_

Rey thought better of telling them. Eva wouldn’t appreciate it.

“Nothing happened,” she said. “Everything’s fine.”

*****

It had been difficult to get Farren and Dia to let her leave after what happened with Eva, but she managed it and made her way immediately to Luke’s house. She barely managed to make it on time and tapped on the door.

“Come in, Rey,” came Luke’s voice from inside.

She pushed open the door and found him sitting at his desk looking at another projection. That was how she always found him when she came here. It seemed he would not stop until he figured out what was supposed to be in that cave. When she closed the door behind her, he swiped the projection away and leaned back in his chair.

“This is maddening,” he said, covering his eyes with his hand. “Master Qui Gon has told me how massive the Jedi Order’s archives were. It makes no sense that there would be a map to this cave and yet no information about what is supposed to be in it.”

Qui Gon. He’d mentioned that name when he spoke to her about Jacen. She figured now was as good a time as any to ask about it and moved to the chair she always sat in.

“So… you can really talk to dead Jedi?” she asked. “Directly?”

“Not all of them,” he answered. “Only the ones who chose to remain connected to the living world.”

She was beginning to wonder if there was anything a Jedi couldn’t do. 

“Then, is it possible for a dead Jedi to speak to someone whenever they want to?”

Luke’s eyes narrowed. “Why? Have you been hearing someone?”

She swallowed and wound her fingers together. “Maybe?”

Luke picked up his chair and sat it down right in front of her. He leaned forward and took both of her hands.

“You need to tell me what you heard,” he said. “A Jedi wouldn’t speak from the beyond unless it was important.”

She ran it through her mind, trying to remember precisely every word she’d heard. One after the other, the words poured off of her tongue.

_Here. Warn. Traitor. Hear me, Rey._

Luke’s eyes went wider at the sound of the word “traitor” and he squeezed her hands.

“And you’re sure no one else heard this voice?” he asked.

“I mean, the first time I heard it was when everyone was crammed into Jacen’s room,” she paused, and her eyes bugged. “Jacen’s room… that’s where I heard it the second time, too.”

Luke let go of her hands and stood before heading over to a large, circular ottoman that was placed in the corner of the room, behind his desk. He sat on it and pulled his legs up so that they were crossed.

“Forgive me, Rey,” he said. “But I need to meditate for a few moments. I need to know if the Masters know who has been speaking to you.”

Meditate? Was that something she could do, too? She didn’t get a chance to ask because Luke’s eyes fell closed and she didn’t miss the feeling that moved through the air. It was similar to what she’d felt during that short sparring match with Ben. The Force was moving through the room and gently brushing past her. She remembered when that would have frightened her, but now she felt nothing but comfort.

_Rey_.

She looked around the room, but she still only saw Luke, and he wasn’t reacting to the voice. It was definitely the same voice. She pulled her legs up into her chair and tried to sit in a pose as close to Luke’s as possible. She didn’t know what she was doing, but maybe if she just focused on the feeling of the Force moving through the room she might get somewhere.

She closed her eyes and listened. The room stayed silent for many long seconds, and just when Rey was ready to open her eyes and forget the whole thing, she felt something akin to a hand squeezing her shoulder.

_Remember the forest._

Her eyes flew open. That was it. That was where she’d heard it before. The voice that showed her she could use the Force, that gave her the tools she needed to save Poe from Phasma. How had she forgotten what it sounded like?

Hoping she wouldn’t look like a fool, she asked, “Who are you?”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Luke move and the pressure on her shoulder vanished. He hung his legs off the side of the ottoman and his eyes fell on her.

“Rey? Did you hear it again?”

She nodded, her heart suddenly pounding harder than it ever had. “I can’t believe it. I… _by the stars_.”

She let her feet touch the floor and leaned forward to hold her head in her hands. She heard Luke approach again and sit down.

“What is it, Rey?” he asked. “What did the voice tell you?”

She shook her head. “Nothing yet.”

He looked confused, so she had to explain everything to him. He listened with quiet contemplation on his face, and when she was finished, he looked as if he’d put the pieces of a puzzle together.

He took her hands again and said, “I spoke to everyone during my meditation, and none of them have been speaking to you. Nor do they know who is. That means, whoever is speaking to you is connected _only_ to you. That leaves only one option.”

A dead Jedi connected only to her. Why hadn’t it occurred to her before?

“Master Lor San Tekka.”

He nodded. “He’s speaking to you. He knows something about the traitor that we don’t and he’s trying to tell you.”

Excitement shot through her and she said, “Well, then how do I talk to him more? Maybe he knows who it is!”

Luke’s lips curled into a grin. “Slow down. The connection to the Force required to speak with the dead doesn’t come overnight. You still need more training.”

That wasn’t what she wanted to hear, and she didn’t try to hide her disappointment.

Luke took her shoulder. “It’s all right. Leia has people searching for the traitor 24-7 As long as they know they are being watched, they won’t make any sudden moves. We have time.”

She wasn’t entirely comforted by that, even if she wanted to be.

“I know it’s frustrating,” Luke said. “I’ll spare you the ‘patience’ lecture that Master Yoda gave me, but this really isn’t the sort of thing that can be rushed. And the fact that you can hear Master Tekka at all means your connection is already fairly strong. It shouldn’t take too long for you to be able to hear him more clearly.”

She still didn’t like the idea of having to wait, but if Luke said it couldn’t be helped, then she wasn’t about to try to argue. He knew far more than she ever could about the Force.

She got to her feet and said, “Well, let’s get to it, then.”

His smile grew. “That’s the spirit.”

He stood as well, and right as they exited the house, Luke halted in his tracks at the sound of his communicator beeping. He answered it, and Rey heard the voice of the General come through.

“Luke,” she said. “When Rey is finished with her training for the day, would you ask her to please come to my office? I have some information for her on the mission she suggested.”

Luke glanced up at her, so she answered, “Yes, General.”

“Thank you, Rey,” the General said before the call cut off.

Luke then walked to the center of the front yard and reached into the pocket of one of his robes. Rey had to raise her hand to quickly catch the lightsaber that was tossed at her. Luke drew his own saber and lit it up right away.

“I think it’s about time you became more familiar with these,” he said. “You can’t rely on blasters and hand-to-hand forever.”

She felt a rush of excitement as she took the stance Ben had taught her. She _had_ promised Jaben she would show him a lightsaber, and perhaps being able to show him some cool moves would smooth things over.

At this point, she’d take all the help she could get.

*****

When Rey exited the sky car, she was met with a face she hadn’t expected to see. Jemma was sitting on a bench nearby as if she’d been waiting for Rey to show up. When she noticed Rey approaching, she stood and approached with her hands nervously fidgeting.

“Hi, Jemma.”

“Hello, Rey,” Jemma said, sounding uneasy. “I know you know the way to the General’s office, but I was hoping you’d let me walk you there.”

Jemma held an arm out to Rey as Luke had, and Rey took it without hesitation. She allowed Jemma to lead her toward the door, and on the way, she noticed Jemma kept glancing at the ground.

She was about to ask Jemma what was wrong when Jemma suddenly said, “I owe you an apology, Rey.”

Rey’s brow furrowed. “Why? You haven’t done anything.”

Jemma shook her head. “I was very rude to you the last time we spoke. You were just trying to help, but I’m afraid my stubbornness is matched only by the General’s.”

Rey was momentarily taken aback. “Oh… You don’t have to worry about that. It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“Maybe not to you,” she said. “But it was hypocritical of me to chafe at being told what I needed to hear when that’s what I always do for others.”

What she needed to hear? Rey hadn’t the slightest idea what Jemma was talking about.

Jemma stopped when they made it to the front door and pushed it open. As they were stepping through, Rey glanced at Jemma and saw a smile on her face.

“I don’t think of myself enough,” Jemma said. “The General has been telling me that for years, but hearing it reaffirmed by someone else… You understand.”

Rey nodded, and Jemma released her arm. She took a few steps in the direction of her lab before she turned back to Rey.

“For what it’s worth, I think your idea for dealing with the Stormtroopers is a good one,” Jemma said. “I don’t think there’s a single person more suited to the job of helping them.”

Hearing Jemma say that made Rey feel better. She wasn’t under any illusions that it was going to be easy, but it was good to hear at least one person thought she could do it.

“Thanks, Jemma.”

Jemma gave an acknowledging nod and walked away, leaving Rey to walk the remaining few feet to the General’s office alone. When she reached the door, she went to knock on it only to be sent barreling to the floor when it was flung into her face, only barely missing her nose. Temporarily dazed, she didn’t register what had happened until she heard a male voice asking her if she was all right.

She looked up to see who it was, and her veins turned to ice. The last time she’d seen him, she’d disappeared for a whole day and left Poe a great worried mess. And she found she was having a similar desire right now. Even as he held his hand out to her and she took it on instinct, she could feel her every muscle shouting at her to run.

He pulled her to her feet and she saw the tears staining his cheeks when he said, “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

She wanted to answer him, but her throat had suddenly gone drier than it ever had before. So she just nodded at him right before he turned to leave. Once he was out of sight, she could breathe again, but she found she had very little strength left in her legs so she had to brace herself against the wall next to the door. As she was trying to catch her breath, she heard the sound of very light footsteps approaching.

She saw the greying hair of the General right before she turned to Rey, her eyes misted over and her cheeks red.

“Rey?” she said. “Are you all right?”

Rey took a deep breath and blew it out before she dared answer, “Yes?”

The General’s sympathetic expression was followed by her putting an arm around Rey and leading her into the office. She closed the door behind them and brought Rey to one of the chairs before she went to sit at her desk. She looked just as drained as Rey felt when she leaned forward to lean her head against her hands.

“I’m sorry, Rey,” she said. “He showed up unannounced and I couldn’t very well tell him to leave. What happened on Jakku was my fault.”

Rey shook her head. “No, it wasn’t.”

The General raised her head and her eyes were fully welled up. She sniffed and quickly wiped her eyes to keep the tears from leaking out.

“It was,” she said. “I told those people that Jakku would be safe, and I really did believe it would be. Even if I sent the fake map there, I thought the First Order would simply take the map and leave. Killing those people availed them nothing.”

Rey’s chest ached at the last sentence, not only because it was bringing back the memory of what happened but because the General didn’t realize how wrong she was.

“It was my unit’s first mission,” Rey explained, crossing her arms uncomfortably. “The First Order doesn’t know how well their conditioning has worked until you’re tested in the field.”

The General looked horrified. “You were meant to _cut your teeth_ on those people?”

Rey nodded, unable to answer verbally. It had become easier to live with the guilt, but she still hadn’t fully come to terms with it.

The General’s hands wound together so tightly Rey could see them turning white and her eyebrows ran almost completely together.

“The First Order needs to be stopped.”

Rey couldn’t have agreed more, but she still didn’t want to speak.

The General sighed and said, “And they added insult to injury by torching the bodies and the entire town, so we don’t even have so much as a keepsake from that man's family or anyone else who lived there.”

Keepsake. That word had Rey’s eyes widening, but before she could try to force out what she was thinking about, she saw the General wave her hand over her desk and bring up a projection.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes one more time before saying, “I can worry about my regrets later. For now, let’s talk about this mission of yours. If you can accomplish what you were talking about, it could potentially cripple the First Order, at least for a time.”

Rey nodded in agreement and watched as the General waved through a few pages of the projection until she found the one she wanted.

“Hux has been very forthcoming,” she said. “After R2 managed to hack into his ship, I suppose he figured trying to hide anything else was pointless. He has told us about a raid Phasma has planned for a small town on a planet not far from Jakku. Evidently, the First Order no longer cares about tricking slaves. They’re just going to start abducting people now.”

Rey couldn’t say she was surprised to hear that. The stronger the First Order became, the more confident they were going to be. She was only shocked it took them this long to start doing it.

“Phasma won’t be going on this mission,” she went on. “But she’ll be sending a handful of her high-ranking lieutenants. With the help of Luke and Ben, we should be able to defeat the lieutenants and trap the rest. That will be your cue to come in and speak to them.”

It sounded like a simple enough plan. Without Phasma there, it would go much more smoothly than it otherwise would have.

“This raid will happen three days from now,” the General told her. “So think very hard about what you’re going to say to the Stormtroopers in the meantime. If you mean to sway them, you need to be convincing.”

Rey gave the most encouraging smile she could. “I’ve already been thinking about it, General. What I’m going to say is the least of my worries.”

The General smiled back and swiped the projection away. “I think some of Poe’s confidence is rubbing off on you.”

Her cheeks heated up like they did every time someone alluded to her’s and Poe’s relationship. She wished she could hurry up and get used to it so that this would stop happening.

But now that the talk about the mission was pretty much over, she had to ask the General some questions. She needed to do it now because if she didn’t, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to later.

She shifted in her seat and said, “General? That man who just left… what’s his name?”

The General looked concerned, but she still answered, “Deacon Pine. His wife’s name was Agnes and his daughter’s name was Mildred, but he called her Millie.”

She hadn’t asked for his family’s names, but she was glad the General gave them. She leaned forward and wound her hands together, trying to stop her heart from pounding through her chest.

“Do you know where he’s staying while he’s here?”

She saw the questions behind the General’s eyes, but, thankfully, she didn’t ask them and simply said, “No. But my men have seen him spending a great deal of time at the park near the port.”

She remembered the park well. Quiet. Perfect for someone whose mind wouldn’t stop screaming at him.

“Is there anything else we need to talk about, General?”

“No,” she answered. “But what are you planning?”

Rey stood and answered, “I thought I might get him that keepsake.”

She went for the door, and she could hear the General get up from her chair.

“Wait, Rey,” she said. “At least let me send someone with you. You don’t know how he might react.”

Rey had to admit it was an attractive idea, but six words were ringing in her ears.

_Easier is not always better, Rey._

She glanced back at the General and shook her head. “Thank you, General, but I think I need to handle this on my own.”

She still looked worried, but the General didn’t argue anymore and simply nodded.

As Rey turned to leave the room, she heard the General say, “Good luck.”

*****

The cat weighed almost nothing, but it had never felt heavier when she’d plucked it off of her nightstand and shoved it into the pocket of her robes. And while she was carrying it toward the park, she felt as if it were a boulder weighing her down. She was the one who’d decided to do this, but now she was questioning what she’d been thinking. She knew what she was going to say to the Stormtroopers, but what was she going to say to Deacon? She could apologize, but what good would that do? His family was still going to be dead.

Those thoughts plagued her mind as she walked around the park looking for him, hoping she wouldn’t have to wait around for him to show up. The longer she waited, the more likely it was that she would fall back on old habits and run away. She didn’t want to. Even if he screamed at her, cursed at her, or tried to knock her teeth out, Deacon deserved to have his daughter’s stuffed cat. Just as Eva deserved the courtesy of Rey’s silence.

She walked and walked, and just as she was preparing to turn around and walk back to where she’d come to look again, she saw him.

He was sitting on a bench, alone, holding what looked like a pocket watch. He was gazing down at it with empty eyes, as if he were entranced. Her stealth skills hadn’t diminished, so she used them to silently approach so as to avoid startling him. When she reached his side, she was able to see why he was so focused on the watch. Inside the lid was taped a small photo of who Rey recognized as his wife and daughter.

The images were flashing through her mind before she could stop them. Agnes trying to use her body to shield Millie. Both of them going down. Millie’s empty eyes gaping up at the sky. The cat drenched in blood. It was making her chest wrench so tightly she thought she might crumple, but when she saw him look at her, she pushed it down. She had to. This wasn’t about her.

She saw the recognition come over his eyes as he said, “Oh. It’s you. Didn’t expect to run into you again.”

Her throat was wound up tightly, but she forced it to unwind and answered, “I’m not one for pretense, so I’m not gonna pretend that’s what this is. I came to find you because the General told me you might be here.”

His expression shifted to confusion. “Why?”

Her hand felt as if it were made of lead as she raised it to the pocket of her robes and reached inside. She felt the soft fur of the cat before she shakily gripped it and started pulling it out. The second moved so slow each one felt like an eternity, so when she finally managed to hold the cat out to him, she found her head spinning and her breath hitching.

He nearly dropped the watch at the sight of the cat, and he took it from her without hesitation. He looked back and forth between her and the cat several times, and his mouth hung agape.

“But this is…” he stammered. “How did you…?”

The shock fell from his face as she watched him put the pieces together in his mind. She thought she would be ready for it, but her whole body flinched when he stood up and stepped closer, his eyes alive with rage.

“You were there!” he snapped. “You’re one of them!”

A knot was forming in her throat and her every instinct was screaming at her to run, but she glued her feet to the ground. No matter what he did, she would take it.

“I was.”

His hand was on the collar of her robes, and she found he was leagues stronger than Eva because he picked her right up off of the ground and hauled her closer so that their faces were mere inches apart.

“That’s it?” he snarled. “You kill my family and that’s all you have to say?”

She shook her head, her desperation coming through in her voice when she said, “I didn’t kill them.”

“You expect me to believe that?” he roared, some of his spit flying into her face. “How else would you get Millie’s cat?”

“If I’d killed them, do you think I’d be here right now?”

A small amount of lucidity broke through his anger, and he backed her face away from his ever so slightly. This was going to be the harder part, and she knew it, but it had to be done.

“Put me down and I’ll tell you everything.”

She could see the lingering hesitation behind his eyes, but after a few long seconds, he began to slowly lower her until her feet were touching the ground. It took a few more seconds before she was able to coax him into letting go of her robes and sitting down, but she was patient even as her whole body was trembling and she was desperately fighting a knot in her throat.

She sat down next to him, keeping a bit of distance between them and waited for him to ask the first question. And then she answered it. Then another, and another. The only time he looked like he might break down was when she explained the reason Kylo Ren ordered them to kill his family and the rest of the town. His disgust matched the General’s, but the angry tears he shed made the knot in Rey’s throat threaten to push itself out. But he held himself together. Rey had to applaud his strength.

They sat on that bench for what felt like hours, and the longer they spoke, the less angry he sounded so that by the time they were finished, she was hearing only grief in his voice. After the last question was answered, he sat still, staring at the cat for several long moments and biting down on his bottom lip. Then he sat straight up and blew out a breath.

He looked at her. “And this plan of yours. Turning the other Stormtroopers. You really think it’ll work?”

She wanted to say yes, but she wasn’t going to lie to him.

“It’s no guarantee,” she answered honestly. “But it’s our best chance.”

He nodded. “All right.”

He stood and put the watch into his pocket. Then, to her utter shock, he handed the cat back to her. After she curled her fingers around it, she looked at him with a questioning gaze.

“I’m going to be asking the General to let me join the Republic’s military,” he said. “So why don’t you hold onto it, for now? If we’re both alive after the First Order is defeated, you can give it back to me then.”

The thought of him being killed by the First Order, too, left a bad taste in her mouth, but she said nothing about it and slid the cat back into her pocket. She jumped a little when she felt his hand on her shoulder, and she met his eyes in complete bafflement.

“You’re the only person who has told me the whole truth, no matter how hurtful or gruesome it was,” he said gently. “Thank you for that.”

She gave an acknowledging nod and he released her shoulder.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and said, “Now if you’ll excuse me, Rey. I have a lot to think about.”

She told him goodbye, but he didn’t answer and walked away. She didn’t miss how he stumbled a bit when he moved. It made her wonder how much he’d actually slept since he received the news.

She turned to leave, as well, and she was on her way to hail a sky car when she heard footsteps approaching from her right. When she looked to see who it was, she was almost knocked on her back.

“Poe?”

His eyes held a mixture of worry and pride when he approached and took her hands.

“The General called me.”

She shouldn’t have been surprised. The General had looked awfully worried, and Rey wasn’t exactly ungrateful. Speaking to Deacon had gone better than she thought it would, but she’d still never felt as drained as she did then. She stepped forward and into Poe’s arms, breathing out a sigh of relief.

She felt his cheek rest against the top of her head when he asked, “You okay?”

She’d expected to be conflicted about that question, but as she stood there, listening to Poe’s heartbeat, the answer came very easily.

“Yeah,” she said. “I think I am.”


	14. Chapter 14

“You’re dead,” came Luke’s ever-patient voice as he held his lightsaber’s beam mere inches from her neck.

She was less patient as she stepped back and lowered the saber she’d been using. They had been practicing every day, and though she had to go on the mission tomorrow, she hadn’t improved much. She couldn’t explain it, but there was something about using the lightsaber that felt unnatural to her.

She wiped the sweat from her forehead and took her stance, ready for another round, but Luke sheathed his saber and shook his head.

“We’re done for the day,” he said. “We go any longer and we’re both gonna collapse.”

She was frustrated, but she didn’t argue and put her saber away, too. The two of them went inside and Luke made two glasses of water for them. She chugged her whole glass in only a few seconds and fell into the chair she usually sat in, releasing a heavy breath in relief.

Luke sat in his own chair, and Rey looked at him when she asked, “Why am I not getting any better?”

Luke placed his own cup of water on his desk and answered, “You may have been trained in the past, but you had the First Order’s training poured into your head after that. It’s going to take time for you to overcome the muscle memory that’s telling you to fight like you’re holding a blaster, a taser, or a knife.”

She hadn’t thought of it that way, but it made sense. Even so, it was frustrating to be stuck in the same place when she knew she could get better.

Luke swiped his hand over his desk, bringing up a projection. She knew he was about to disappear into his research like he did every time they finished a training session, so she stood and returned her glass to the kitchen.

As she was passing his desk, Luke halted her and asked, “Have you heard anything more from Lor San Tekka?”

She wished she could say yes, but he hadn’t spoken to her once since the last time. She shook her head and Luke looked despondent when he returned his attention to the projection.

“It’s all right,” he said. “The connection will come.”

The way he spoke, it seemed like he was trying to convince himself as well as her. It made her stomach tighten with guilt. She had to try harder, in everything, not just the lightsaber combat. As confident as Luke was that the traitor wouldn’t make a move, Rey wasn’t so sure. She knew the First Order far better than he did, and they were not the type to let themselves be scared into sitting on their hands.

Her communicator ringing tore her from those thoughts, and when she saw the caller her eyes widened.

She answered and said, “Murna?”

“Hello, dear,” she responded. “I was just calling to let you know Jaben wants to see you whenever you have some free time.”

While she’d been wanting to speak to him again and try to clear the air, she couldn’t help the feeling of dread that also crept in.

“All right,” Rey answered. “I’ve just finished training, so I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

She disconnected the call and let her arms hand down at her sides. She could feel her hands clenched into fists and her heart pounded so hard she could feel it in her throat.

“You’ll be all right,” Luke said gently. “He’s a good kid.”

She looked at him. “You went to see him?”

“I did. I wanted to see if he was also Force-sensitive.”

She hadn’t even considered that. “Is he?”

Luke nodded. “Once he’s more adjusted, I thought to ask him if he wanted to join the academy. It’s not entirely necessary since you could teach him once you’re ready, but it’s an option.”

Teach Jaben about the Force? She thought the idea laughable considering how much trouble she was still having with it. He would be better off with Ben teaching him. Still, the idea of being able to one day train with a lightsaber would likely excite Jaben to no end.

“I’ll talk to him about it if everything goes well.”

“All right,” Luke said. “Let me know what he says so I can have Ben make sure a room is ready for him.”

She nodded and left the house, hailing a sky car on her way out.

*****

The car landed outside of the small house Murna and Jaben had been staying in, and as she approached the front door, she had to wipe her hands on her robes.

  
Calm down, Rey. Murna wouldn’t have called you if he wasn’t okay with seeing you.

She raised her hand and tapped on the front door. Murna was the one to open it, a bright smile on her face. She was draped in clothing more reminiscent of the Capital, and she’d even acquired some silver jewelry on her fingers, ears, and neck. After a quick greeting, Murna stood to the side to let Rey come inside, and it was only then that it occurred to Rey. She hadn’t yet told Murna she’d been hearing Master Tekka’s voice.

After Murna closed the door, Rey said, “Hey, Murna. There’s something I have to tell you.”

Murna shook her head. “It can wait. You need to speak to Jaben first. He has something important to say.”

What she had to tell Murna was hardly less important, but she kept her mouth shut and followed Murna through the entryway and into the small livingroom where Jaben was sitting on the couch wearing similar clothing to Murna’s. He was fidgetting with his hands and his eyes were glued to the floor. Murna motioned toward a chair across from Jaben and Rey took a seat while Murna moved to sit beside Jaben. She draped an arm over his shoulders and used her other hand to make him raise his head.

Jaben momentarily tried to fight it but settled when Murna said his name in a stern voice. She motioned toward Rey, and when he met her eyes, she saw genuine guilt. His eyes averted again, but he didn’t hang his head.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Rey,” he said quietly. “I shouldn’t have said those things.”

Rey’s mouth hung open. This wasn’t what she’d been expecting, mostly because he had nothing to apologize for.

“It’s okay, Jaben,” she answered. “Considering what’s happened, your reaction was understandable.”

He shook his head. “That’s not why I said it.”

His face contorted into an anguished scowl and he looked at the doorway to his left. She saw his eyes beginning to well up and her body moved of its own accord. She went to sit on the other side of him and Murna moved her arm so that Rey’s could replace it.

She pulled him a little closer and said, “Tell me.”

He sniffled a bit and leaned his head on her shoulder, which made all of her nerves from before melt away. She’d been fretting over nothing.

“When you said you were leaving,” Jaben answered, “I was scared you’d get hurt. So I… I asked Lio to go with you.”

Rey’s eyebrows raised as Jaben released a soft sob and covered his eyes with his hand.

His whole body was trembling when he said, “Then he died, and-”

She knew what he was about to say so she raised her other hand to cover his lips with a finger. She tilted his head up to make him look at her and used her sleeve to wipe the tears off his cheeks.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Rey said sternly. “So you get that out of your head right now. He would have followed me there whether you asked him to or not.”

Thinking about him naturally made his death flash through her mind, and she had to bite down on her lower lip for a moment to bring herself back to now.

“It’s the First Order’s fault,” she said. “Kylo Ren, Phasma and everyone else who helped them trick us into joining them.”

She then brought her hand up to lightly tap him on the nose.

“I don’t want you worrying about any of that,” she told him. “Especially when I’ve got some really good news.”

A little bit of the sadness dropped from his face. “You do?”

“Yeah, I do,” she answered with a smile. “I just finished talking to Master Luke and he said that you can use the Force, too.”

His eyes lit up and his mouth fell open. “The Force? You mean… like a Jedi?”

She nodded. “Exactly like a Jedi. You can even go to the Jedi academy if you want to.”

She had the air knocked out of her lungs when he suddenly flung himself forward and threw his arms around her neck.

“I always wanted to be a Jedi!”

She brought an arm around him and said, “Well, now you can.”

He was flashing a toothy smile when he pulled back, but after a couple of seconds it faded and he looked at his hands, which started fidgeting again.

She placed her hand on top of his. “Jaben?”

“I was right the first time,” he said. “You are Isha. Definitely.”

She’d already told him she wasn’t upset by his outburst, but she couldn’t deny that hearing him take it back was a relief. She flinched when he suddenly raised his hand and tapped her nose, just as she’d just done to him.

He smiled again and said, “You always did that when I was sad about something.”

She smiled back at him and tousled his hair. He responded by laughing and trying to push her hand away. She didn’t know where it came from, but she had the sudden urge to bring her arm around his neck and drag him into a playful headlock, so she did. He laughed harder and started pushing against her chest and stomach.

“Hey!” he said between laughs. “Lemme go, Rey! Knock it off!”

She found herself laughing, too, and when she glanced at Murna, she saw the old woman was sitting in the chair across from them and grinning from ear to ear. As much as she wanted to spend some more time with Jaben, she knew she needed to talk to Murna. She loosened her grip on Jaben and he escaped before rolling onto the floor.

“Just let me know when you’re ready to go to the academy, all right?” she told him. “Luke has to make sure there’s a room ready for you.”

He nodded his head wildly, and Rey saw Murna moving out of the corner of her eye. Murna moved to stand next to Jaben and placed a hand on his head.

“Why don’t you go and play with your TIE fighter for a bit?” she said gently. “Rey and I have something to talk about, I think.”

Jaben grumbled a little, but he did as he was told and Murna moved to sit beside her on the couch. Rey reached for her hand out of instinct, and Murna accepted it.

“What is it, dear?” she asked. “Has something happened?”

Rey blew out a breath. “Yeah. You could say that.”

Murna listened while Rey recanted everything she remembered, from the first time she heard Master Tekka’s voice, to the most recent time. As she spoke, she saw Murna’s expression go from shock to eventual acceptance and peace.

“I’m not surprised,” Murna said. “Lor San suspected that the First Order wasn’t what it claimed. It’s why he tried so hard to convince you not to go. This also may explain the timing of his death.”

Rey’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

Murna looked somewhere between melancholy and resigned when she explained, “My husband was old, but he was far from unhealthy. That much was obvious by how he was able to train you with a lightsaber. And yet, a mere two days after you and Lio went to the First Order, he died.”

Rey saw tears start to shine in her eyes before she went on, “It was a morning like any other. I got out of bed before Lor San and started cooking breakfast. But when I went to wake him, he sat up, kissed me, and told me now was the time for him to go. Then he laid back down, closed his eyes, and… I couldn’t believe it but he didn’t just die. His body vanished before my eyes.”

Rey’s eyes grew wider before she dipped her gaze to the floor and fell into her thoughts. After a few moments, Murna gripped her hand a little tighter, pulling Rey back.

“What is it?” Murna asked. “Have you remembered something?”

“No,” Rey answered. “But two days. That’s usually about the time it takes for the First Order to process you before they take you to the room and wipe your memories.”

She could see Murna putting the pieces together just as she had.

“He sensed it,” Murna said. “He knew something had happened to the two of you.”

Rey nodded. “Probably. Luke has said that Jedi who are really connected with the Force can sense major shifts. And I shifted about as far from the Force as I could have after that.”

Murna wound her hands together and placed them in her lap, an understanding look on her face.

“So he did the only thing he could do,” she speculated. “He gave himself over to the Force so that he could try to help you reconnect to it one day.”

The thought made her throat tighten. He went so far for her, and yet she wasn’t able to save his son. Even worse, it took the death of his son to even make it possible for her to connect to the Force again. Her eyes were stinging with tears, so she shook the thoughts from her head. This was supposed to be a good day.

“And he did,” Rey told her. “I couldn’t have saved Poe from Phasma without his help. I owe Master Tekka everything.”

Murna shook her head, a knowing grin on her face. “He never helped people expecting to get any sort of gratitude or payment from it. He’d be happy enough knowing that you’re doing well.”

That was more comforting than Rey had expected it to be. Now if only she could connect to the Force as strongly as he needed her to. The frustration with herself started bubbling to the surface again, so she decided to distract herself. She excused herself from Murna, intending to follow Jaben to his room, but her communicator beeping again drew her attention.

She answered it when she saw the caller. “Jemma?”

“Hello, Rey,” she said. “I’m so sorry to bother you, but I’m afraid I need to get some more information from Hux. I would like to have someone powerful with me just in case I need some help. Master Luke and Ben are both very busy, so…”

She tried not to feel too proud about Jemma thinking she was powerful, but her ego was inflating before she could stop it. She was disappointed at not being able to spend more time with Jaben, but she could always visit him again the day after the mission.

“All right, Jemma,” Rey answered. “I’ll head over to the prison right away.”

Rey hung up and after saying a couple of quick goodbyes to Jaben and Murna, she left for the prison.

*****

When she walked through the front doors of the prison, she was made to leave every weapon but her lightsaber at the front. It was standard procedure since she wasn’t on a special assignment for the General this time, but it still made her feel uneasy. She found Jemma waiting at the door of one of the interrogation rooms, and when she saw Rey, she approached quickly.

“Rey,” she said. “Thank you so much for coming. I must admit that I’ve been terribly worried about this situation.”

Rey glimpsed a holocron in one of Jemma’s hands right before she slid it into her pocket.

“As you know, R2 and I have been pulling information from Hux’s ship,” she went on. “Well, we’ve hit a wall so complex even R2 can’t crack it. So I was hoping I could persuade Hux to tell us how to get the wall down.”

The General mentioned Hux hadn’t been very resistant to giving information, so this sounded like an easy enough thing to accomplish.

“Is he inside?” Rey asked.

“Yes, they just dropped him off a few moments ago.”

Rey held a hand out toward the door. “All right, then let’s get this done.”

Jemma nodded and opened the door. As Rey followed her inside, she noted the room was completely dark apart from the dim light coming from the connecting interrogation room. She was about to start looking for a lightswitch when the lights suddenly came on and she saw Jemma smiling at her. But right as Rey went to smile back, Jemma’s expression contorted into fear.

And then Rey was face-down on the floor, having been roughly shoved to the side by Jemma. When Rey quickly rolled over, the sight before her had her breath hitching and her chest wrenching. Jemma was on the floor, groaning from a scalding shoulder wound, while a dark-clad, masked, and hooded figure stood over her. Shining in the person’s hand was a bright red lightsaber.

Rey’s first instinct was to reach for a blaster, but she was reminded all too quickly that all she had was her own lightsaber. It wasn’t ideal, but she drew it anyway right as the assailant was raising their saber to prepare another attack on Jemma. Rey caught their saber with her own on the downward swing and shoved the person back. During that brief exchange, Rey caught a glimpse of their eyes. Green, feminine-looking. Also a small frame, short. This was a woman.

The woman lunged forward for another attack, and Rey parried before attempting an attack of her own. The woman dodge-rolled out of the way, and Rey was forced to slice through a chair that the woman had Force launched in her direction. During that brief distraction, the woman closed on Rey and she was thrown backward by a powerful Force push that sent her barreling to the floor right next to Jemma.

She started trying to climb to her feet, but she had barely made it to her knees when she suddenly couldn’t breathe. She glanced up at the woman and saw her holding her hand out much like Kylo Ren did when he choked someone. But she’d long since learned how to counter that. She found the woman’s trigger point and pushed it, causing her to hiss and yank her hand back. Rey took that time to shoot to her feet, light her saber, and charge the woman again.

The red saber came up to block Rey’s blow, but she pushed back, hard. Rey’s arms shook from the strain, and after a few seconds, both sabers were mere inches from their faces. The green from Rey’s saber reflected off the green of the woman’s furious eyes right before Rey put all of her strength into shoving the woman’s saber down and kicking the weapon right out of her hand. Rey then used a Force push of her own to shove the woman against the opposite wall. Just as she closed in, she saw the woman raise her hand again, but Rey felt no constriction around her neck.

A pitiful whimper from behind her had Rey turning her head, and she saw the one being choked was Jemma. She was preparing to raise her saber and stop the assailant when her whole body was suddenly jolted and she lost control of all of her muscles at once. She flopped to the floor and couldn’t stop her body from twitching even if she’d wanted to. She’d been hit with one of the First Order’s tasers before, but she’d forgotten until now how painful it was.

The woman stepped over Rey and past Jemma, who Rey could now see was breathing properly again. That was a small relief, but it was quickly stamped out when the assailant opened the door to the interrogation room and strolled in. Rey heard Hux start to plead for his life, but he was cut off mid-sentence by the sound of a lightsaber lighting up and swinging.

Rey released an angry snarl, but she still couldn’t move. So even as the woman stepped out of the room and started digging through Jemma’s pocket, Rey couldn’t stop her. Nor could she stop her from pocketing the holocron and leaving the room.

It took mere moments before alarms started blaring, but Rey knew the woman was either already gone or just now escaping the building. She’d trained in infiltration. She knew the getaway had to be the fastest part lest you risk losing what you were looking for. If only that training had been of any help in this situation. As it was, all she could do was lie there and wait for help to arrive.

And that help came in the form of Luke, Ben, and the General all walking into the room. Luke went to Rey while Ben and the General went to Jemma. Luke placed a hand on the side of Rey’s head.

“Are you all right?” he asked frantically.

She wanted to shake her head, but she still couldn’t, so she said, “I failed.”

*****

The General had Rey and Jemma brought to the closest hospital, and while she was lying in the hospital bed, Rey was slowly regaining control of her muscles. She’d managed to push herself up into a sitting position by the time she heard a tap at her door.

“Come in,” she called out.

The door opened, and she wasn’t surprised to see Luke, the General, and Ben all walk inside. Ben closed the door behind them, and when Luke approached he still looked concerned.

“How’s Jemma?” Rey asked.

Luke pulled up a chair and sat down beside the bed. “She’ll be all right, but she’s still unconscious. The medical droids are going to have to perform corrective surgery on her shoulder.”

Rey’s eyes fell to the bed. She was trained by the First Order to recognize an ambush. As soon as she realized the room was dark, she should have pulled Jemma back and gone in first. That wasn’t even to mention her inability to sense it with the Force. For all of her progress, she was still leagues behind where she ought to be.

“Rey,” came the voice of the General. “I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to shelve your regrets for now because we need answers.”

Rey raised her head. “Yes, General.”

There was one other chair in the room, and Ben pushed it forward for the General to sit on. Rey told them everything she remembered about the encounter, in as much detail as possible. And the more she talked, the more her brain turned until she came to a terrifying conclusion that she wished she hadn’t.

But before she could tell them, the General’s communicator started beeping. When she answered it, a male voice came through and confirmed Rey’s fears.

“Hux’s ship is gone, General.”

The General’s face went pale, and she ended the call. She met Rey’s eyes, and Rey could see her reaching the same conclusion she had.

Rey nodded. “There’s more than one traitor. At least two, maybe more. I saw how heavily guarded the prison was the first time I went there. Even if that woman was the traitor, there’s no way she made it to Hux’s interrogation room without someone guiding her past the guards.”

Luke’s expression wilted. “I don’t want to think that one of our students could be the traitor, but…”

“It’s not them,” Ben said right away. “It can’t be. We trained them all ourselves. There’s no way we would’ve-”

“Use your head, Ben,” Luke interrupted. “There was a Sith Lord right under the noses of the entire Jedi Council for years. If they can all be fooled, so can we.”

Ben’s gaze fell, and Rey had to admit to being equally discomforted by the thought. She didn’t know very many of her fellow students, but she’d never gotten so much as a bad feeling from any of them. Although, after she so easily fell for an ambush, her own judgment was hardly an acceptable litmus test.

“Then what are we going to do, Father?” Ben asked. “Test them all?”

Luke shook his head. “If the traitor is among them, she might run. We will just have to pay closer attention to every female student. But don’t be conspicuous.”

The General sighed and got to her feet. “We have a lot to talk about, I suppose. Luke, Ben, meet me at the base when you can. I need to have a discussion with my lieutenants. I’m not about to let this traitor make fools of us again.”

Luke and Ben nodded before the General turned to leave. On her way out, she looked over her shoulder at Rey.

“Don’t blame yourself, Rey,” she said kindly. “Jemma is alive because of you. Never forget that.”

Was she? Rey wasn’t so sure. The General left the room without another word, and Ben followed closely behind her. Luke, however, stayed where he was and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

She wound her hands together uncomfortably. “I’m thinking she never intended to kill me or Jemma.”

Luke looked intrigued. “What makes you say that?”

“She had a First Order taser,” Rey said. “Which means she probably also had a blaster and a knife. If she’d wanted to kill us, she could have blasted us both in the back of the head as soon as we walked into the room. But she used a lightsaber. Why?”

Luke hummed and looked at the bed, his eyes darting about. “It’s possible she was testing you.”

“Testing me?”

He nodded. “You’re not fully trained yet, Rey, but you’re stronger than you realize. Even Phasma could see that. Perhaps they plan on trying to turn you back.”

The very thought made her stomach turn and her chest tighten up. Never. She would never go back to them. She’d sooner die.

No. Shut up, Rey. Don’t think like that. You’ve hurt Poe more than enough already.

“I’m afraid we’re going to have to increase your training, Rey,” he told her. “It seems I was wrong about the traitor. They are far more brazen than I thought they would be, and if we can find out who they are without risking anyone else getting hurt, that would be preferable.”

“I agree.”

Luke got to his feet and said, “Very well. The extra regiments will start after you return from your mission. We can only hope it will bear fruit.”

She nodded at him before he turned and headed for the door. But he stopped short of opening it and took a step back. The door flung open, and Poe rushed in, looking frantic with worry.

“Rey!” he said as he bypassed Luke without so much as a glance and went to Rey’s side. “Are you all right?”

“Don’t worry,” she said with a smile. “She just hit me with a taser.”

Poe moved to sit on the bed beside her, and Rey just barely caught a glimpse of Luke grinning before he left the room and closed the door. Poe took both of her hands and leaned in to kiss her. When he broke away, he pressed his forehead against hers and breathed out a heavy breath.

“Sometimes I think you enjoy making me sweat.”

She shrugged. “You _are_ kinda cute when you worry.”

He rolled his eyes and reached into the pocket of his jacket. He drew out a small holocron and held it out to her.

“Well, while you were busy getting into trouble, I was looking through BB-8’s recordings,” he said. “He’s programmed to record important information whenever he can, and he was recording when Phasma went on her rant about wanting to re-educate you. The footage isn’t great, but it’s clear enough that you can both hear and see Phasma.”

Her eyes widened as she reached out to take the holocron. She hadn’t told anyone since she didn’t want to make them nervous, but she’d been worried that the other troopers wouldn’t believe her. But with this, they’d have to. She found she had almost full use of her body again when she flung herself forward to hug him. He caught her with a laugh and she planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you,” she said. “This will really help.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he answered. “Thank me when you’re back.”

The anxiety was plain in his voice, so she pushed back slightly and cupped his face with her hands.

“I’ll be fine,” she told him. “Luke and Ben are gonna be with me.”

“I know,” he said, groaning in annoyance. “I’m turning into my mom. She’d get like this every time my dad went on a mission.”

She laughed and glanced down at the braces on his legs. “As if I’m gonna be any better once you’re back in a fighter. Especially if you pull a bunch of stunts like the one you pulled above Jakku.”

“Nah,” he said with a smirk. “I like my fighter too much to blow it up.”


	15. Chapter 15

She was more awake than she’d ever been right after climbing out of bed. She’d be leaving on the mission in only a few hours, and she was more than ready. Playing over what she was going to say over and over in her head had become almost second nature. After dressing, she headed downstairs to the cafeteria.

She found Dia and Farren already in line, and she was happy to see that she could recognize everything Farren was saying to her without help. The lessons had paid off. They filled their trays and went to the table.

“Today’s the day,” Dia said as she was sitting. “Are you ready?”

Rey shrugged. “I guess we’ll see.”

Farren’s hands moved and she signed, “_You’re not worried?_”

Rey felt a lightness in her chest when she answered, “Oddly enough, no. Ever since I came here, I’ve been wanting to do something to _really_ help. This is my chance.”

Rey heard Dia release a chuckle, and when she looked at her she was shaking her head.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Dia answered. “I was just thinking about how it used to be a struggle to get two words out of you.”

Rey grinned and picked up her glass of water. “Well, you might be wanting those days back before long. Poe’s smartassery is rubbing off on me more and more every day.

Both Dia and Farren started laughing, and as Rey was taking a drink of her water Dia said, “Yeah, I’m not gonna lie, some of the girls who shun you are probably doing it because of him. He’s a bit of a famous heartthrob around here.”

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d experienced anything close to jealousy or possessiveness, but she recognized the unpleasant feeling regardless. Ridiculous. It was nothing to worry about, and she knew it.

Dia snorted out another laugh and leaned back in her chair. “Your face. _Spirits above_, that’s priceless.”

Rey grumbled under her breath and let her head hang so that Dia wouldn’t be able to see her face anymore. She didn’t understand Dia’s incessant need to push her buttons, but she couldn’t be angry at her for it. She was about to pick up her fork and start eating when she heard her communicator beeping.

She answered it right away and said, “General?”

“Rey,” she said, sounding dejected. “Please come to the base right after you finish breakfast. There have been some complications with the mission.”

“Complications?”

“I’d rather not discuss it over communicators,” she said. “Not after what happened yesterday.”

Rey chaffed at the mention of it, but she still said, “I understand, General. I’ll be there soon.”

After a quick thank you, the General hung up, and Rey was left staring at a tray of food that no longer looked very appetizing. Complications were the last thing she needed.

*****

“Torched?” Rey said while her hands gripped the arms of her chair tightly. “Are you serious?”

The General nodded, her eyes focused on her desk. “The entire town. The traitor somehow managed to get the information to Phasma in time for her to reschedule the mission. And without the information we gathered from Hux, we have no way of figuring out when they are going on another mission.”

Poe was sitting in the chair next to Rey, and Han was standing beside the General’s desk, but neither of them said anything. They were back to square one, again. Of all of the things that could have happened, this was the worst. Rey couldn’t accept this. There had to be something else they could do. Some other way.

But nothing was coming to her. All that was running through her head was rage. Rage at the traitor. Rage at Phasma. No matter how long she was away from the First Order, Phasma remained a constant thorn in her side, as if she were still hearing her smug voice over those loudspeakers.

Her eyes widened and she perked back up. “Wait…”

Poe looked at her. “Rey? What is it?”

She glanced back and forth between Han and the General. “What if we could talk to the Stormtroopers without following them to a mission?”

The General wound her fingers together. “What are you suggesting?”

“There are these massive loudspeakers that are installed all over the First Order’s biggest Starship,” Rey explained. “Phasma always uses them whenever she’s making announcements. Do you think...? No, that won't work.”

"Finish your thought," the General said. "Then we'll decide it if will work or not."

Rey's hopes were low, but she said, "I was thinking maybe R2 and 3PO could hijack the speakers and play the message I recorded, but the First Order is always moving its ships. There's no telling where they are right now."

The General's lips curled into a smirk as she reached into the pocket of her white dress pants. When her hand emerged, it was gripping a small black box with a small screen. On the screen was a blinking green light. A tracking device?

"I've been around the bend a few times, Rey," she said. "I knew the First Order might try to take back Hux's ship, so I made sure to bug it."

Rey's relief was profound. It was lucky for her that the General had such foresight.

“What do you think Han?” the General asked. 

Han shrugged. “I think it’s risky, but if me and Luke could sneak aboard the Death Star without soldiers trained in infiltration, I think your soldiers can manage to sneak aboard a Starship.”

The General nodded. "Then it's settled."

“Good," Rey said with a smile on her face. "And I can help them navigate the ship.”

Han shook his head. “Not a chance, kid.”

“What?” Rey said, more snippy than she meant to. “I know that ship better than anyone else here.”

“And now that you're more intuned with the Force, Kylo Ren would sense you coming from five parsecs away,” Han responded. “Sorry, but you’re not going anywhere near that ship.”

As much as she knew he was probably right, that didn’t stop it from stinging.

“I know it’s frustrating,” the General said. “But you can help far more with your words than your infiltration skills right now. Go to a quiet room, do the recording, and splice it together with the audio from Poe’s footage.”

Frustrating was an understatement, but she didn’t complain and said, “Yes, General.”

She stood at the same time Poe did, and as they were both about to leave, the General called out, “Hang on, Poe. I need to talk to you about another mission.”

A mission? Poe hadn’t been cleared for those yet. Rey looked at the General before turning her gaze on Poe.

He handed her the holocron with the footage. “Meet me at my house when you’re done with your training?”

She nodded. That made her feel a little better. At least that would give her the chance to ask him about where the General was sending him. She left the office and closed the door behind her before heading toward the quietest room in the building.

When she reached Jacen’s room, she peeked inside and didn’t see anyone else within. This wasn’t the first time she’d visited him over the past few days. As little as she knew about the ways of the Force, she was intensely curious about what was keeping Jacen like this. There was also something about him that she couldn’t explain. Something that made her want to know him.

She pulled a chair up next to his bed and sat, running the words she was going to say through her head one more time before she drew out another holocron. She glanced up at Jacen and silently asked him to wish her luck before she activated the holocron.

“This is a message for every Stormtrooper within the First Order,” she began. “Most of you didn’t know me, but I was one of you once. My birth name was Isha Nakai, but I was given the number RA-2187. No doubt Phasma and Kylo Ren have filled your heads with lies about me. Lying is their best weapon. They lied to us when they took us from our families. They lied about the existence of the Resistance. And Phasma, at least, continues to lie to you every day.”

She took a moment to take a breath, knowing she could cut out the short pause. She blew the breath out and her pounding heart slowed ever so slightly.

“Phasma always made us believe that the only reason we would ever be sent for the second round of re-education was if we were disobedient or insubordinate,” Rey said, with a tinge of anger in her voice. “But that’s not true. She’s willing to send you there for the simple crime of being too strong. She made that very clear after I escaped.”

She decided that would be the point where she would add the audio from Poe’s footage, so she stayed silent for another moment to make the section easier to find.

Then she took another breath and went on, “Phasma made a group of you go on your mission early, right? That’s because someone informed her about my plan to tell some of you about all of this face-to-face. Now do what Phasma doesn’t want you to do, and think for yourselves for a minute. If she was willing to re-educate me simply because she thought I was too strong, what do you think she’s going to do when she realizes I’m trying to turn you from her?”

She paused one more time, preparing for the final push. This would be the make or break moment in her message to the troopers.

“If Phasma isn’t already secretly sending people off to re-education, she soon will be,” Rey warned. “But you don’t have to fall prey to that. I broke away. You can, too. Defect. Escape, and the Republic will not turn you away. You have my word. Take back your lives while you still can because I can promise you, once Phasma re-educates you, there won’t be any life left in you to take back.”

She ended the recording and got immediately to work splicing it with Poe’s audio and making sure everything sounded clear. She played it back once, and while she thought her voice sounded strange over the holocron, the message was as good as it was going to get. She slid the holocrons back into her pockets and looked over at Jacen on more time.

“We’ll beat them, Jacen,” she said, even though she knew he couldn’t hear her. “And maybe when we do, you’ll be able to wake up.”

She turned to leave, but out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw something move. Her eyes scanned over Jacen, but she saw nothing. She decided it had to be her imagination and left the room, heading back toward the General’s office.

She could only hope the recording would work.

*****

When Rey had returned to the General’s office, Poe and Han were already gone, but she’d dropped the holocron off with the General, who promised to have her best infiltrators leave on the mission immediately. While Rey still itched with the desire to go with them, she knew the General was right to keep her here. So she went to do the only other thing she felt she could do to help: train with Luke. If she could hear Master Tekka more clearly, she could find this traitor before they caused any more trouble.

She found Luke sitting at his desk like usual, and when he looked up, she could see in his eyes how little sleep he’d gotten the night before. He motioned toward two circular chairs back behind his desk, and while she went to one, he went to the other. He sat cross-legged, so she did, too.

Despite how exhausted he looked, he was patient when he said, “The most important part of meditation, Rey, is to try your best to clear your mind of everything but the Force. A difficult task considering the circumstances, I know, but it’s necessary.”

Difficult? More like impossible.

That thought must have come through in her expression because Luke said, “Don’t be daunted. I find what helps me is to focus my attention completely on the feeling of the Force moving around me. If you can do that, the other thoughts will more easily fade.”

She remembered doing that the last time she’d attempted to meditate, so if that was all she had to do, perhaps this wouldn’t be as bad as she thought. She nodded and closed her eyes.

The feeling of the Force didn’t come right away, which worried her. And without it, her head immediately swam with all of the thoughts she was supposed to be banishing. She told herself to stop thinking. Clear your mind. That’s what Luke said. But the harder she tried not to think, the more her worries plagued her.

“Calm down,” came Luke’s gentle voice. “Don’t try to rush or force it. If you need to, think of all of the times you’ve used the Force. Focus on the sensation of it moving through you and around you.”

All of the times. The forest. Pierce and Eva. The woman in the interrogation room. Her days of training alongside Luke. The sensation. Like a gentle yet firm pressure that came down on her whole body, both empowering and guarding her. The Force was safety, and all of Kylo Ren’s torments would never change that.

The feeling came then, far more intensely than she’d expected it to. The room felt both heavy and light at the same time, and it made her head spin. But she did as Luke said and focused on it. And, just as he said, once she could feel it, focusing only on it was easy. The quiet seconds passed, and she felt the tension in her body lessen more and more until she was fully relaxed.  
  
And it was only then that his voice started coming through.

_Rey._

Her breath hitched, but she didn’t let herself lose focus.

‘_Yes, Master. I’m here_.’

_You’v-… -ne well. But… -st lis-_

No. It’s not clear enough. Get it together, Rey. You’re not completely focused. Clear your mind. Clear it.

_-the traitor. -ma has… -ights… -en is J-_

She could feel her hands clench into fists and her teeth grind together. Not enough. Still not enough. Focus, focus, focus.

_Your e-… -rm… -ces… hea-… sabotaged._

A knot was forming in her throat. Not like this. She was so close. This couldn’t be as far as she could go. Listen, dammit. Stop being so useless.

“Rey,” came Luke’s voice. “That’s enough. Come back.”

She shook her head. She couldn’t pull back. She was too close. She just needed a little more clarity. Just a little more.

‘_Master_,’ she pleaded to Tekka. ‘_Who is it? Who’s the traitor. Tell me again_.’

Her head was spinning more and more, and while she could still hear him speaking, nothing was coming through even remotely clearly anymore. Her eye was beginning to sting with tears, and she felt Luke’s hands on the sides of her head.

“Rey!” he exclaimed. “Enough!”

The tears started leaking from her eyes, and she shook her head again. She had to know. Everyone was counting on her to figure it out.

‘_Master_!’ she said one more time. ‘_Who_?’

She thought for sure she was going to hear nothing more than a jumbled mess, but one thing came through, clear as a cloudless sky.

_RA-2187_.

She didn’t have time to be confused by it, because she felt Luke’s hand on her forehead before she was suddenly knocked out of her meditation and sent falling onto her back behind the chair. But before she could even think about trying to get up, she was being yanked to her feet by a hand on the collar of her robes. She was met with Luke’s absolutely furious eyes, and she was momentarily stunned by it. She’d never seen him like that.

“You damned fool!” he snapped. “When I tell you to stop, you stop!”

She found her voice and bit back, “We need to find out who the traitor is, Luke! Who knows who they might target next?”

“And how do you plan on finding out who it is if you strain your mind to the point of breaking?”

She felt as if he’d dumped a bucket of ice water on her and her eyes dipped to the floor. She heard him sigh before he released his hold on her robes.

“You’re strong, Rey,” he told her, “but you’re not unbreakable. And I seem to recall telling you I’m in no hurry to lose another student. So, please don’t be reckless.”

There was a pained sorrow in his voice that cut through her like glass and made her feel more foolish than she’d ever felt before. She backed into the wall behind her, keeping her eyes trained on the floor.

“I’m sorry.”

Luke stepped up to her again and made her raise her head. “It’s all right. I stopped you before you did any damage. You just need to understand that the Force is more powerful than you can possibly imagine. It’s not to be taken lightly.”

He dropped his hand to her shoulder. “And besides, I am partially to blame. When I said we needed to increase your training, I put pressure on you that I shouldn’t have. I never meant for you to hurt yourself for the sake of finding the answers we need.”

He then motioned for her to follow and he took her to the chair she usually sat in. He made the chair behind his desk come to him and he sat down in front of her.

“Now, you need to tell me what you did hear,” he said. “Even if it seemed insignificant, it might give us a clue.”

She sighed and shook her head. “Only three things came through clearly. Traitor. Sabotaged. And…”

“Rey?”

She leaned forward and wound her fingers together. “RA-2187. He’s never called me that before. I don’t see why he would.”

Luke hummed, and she realized how much she’d strained herself when the mere act of trying to speculate about Tekka’s reasoning made her head throb.

“We’re not likely to come up with the answer right now,” he said. “But there is something significant about that number, otherwise he wouldn’t have said it.”

“I wish I had your patience.”

Luke grinned and got to his feet. “I learned it the hard way, believe me.”

He motioned for her to follow again, and he led her outside. They walked to the spot in the yard that they usually used for lightsaber training. She was about to reach for the saber at her waist when he held a hand up to stop her.

“Before we begin,” he said. “I had something made for you.”

He pulled what looked like a smaller saber from his belt and held it out to her. The handle was only about as large as the handle of the knife the First Order had given her. When she activated the beam, she found it was only dagger-length.

She looked up at Luke with a questioning stare and he said, “I’ve been watching the way you move, and I think the dual-wielding style of combat may be more suited to you.”

She wanted to protest. She was already struggling enough with a single lightsaber, but now he wanted her to basically start from scratch and learn an entirely new style? But she’d learned only moments ago how pointless it was to argue with him. So she drew her her long saber and followed his directions as he told her how to stand and hold both.

Once she was in place, an odd feeling moved through her, something akin to familiarity. Then, when Luke drew his own saber to begin the lesson, her body moved as if by instinct rather than her own commands. She still followed his directions, but the unnatural feeling she had felt while wielding only the single saber was nowhere to be seen.

He still bested her, of course, but it took him longer and longer to do so every time. The more she moved, the more confident she felt until she was no longer worrying about anything. Not the traitor. Not the First Order. Not the lost mission. They all melted into the adrenaline rush she was feeling from this invigorating style of combat.

After the latest round of him besting her, be blew out a breath and held a hand up to stop her, a bright smile on his face.

“Well done,” he said, sheathing his saber. “It seems I was right.”

He moved over to the stairs in front of his door and sat down, but she was far too pumped up to sit. So she sheathed her own sabers and stood in front of him.

“What was that?” she asked him. “How can I possibly be that good at something I’ve never done?”

“Who says you’ve never done it?” he said with a smirk. “This is likely the style Master Tekka was teaching you before you went to the First Order.”

She hadn’t even considered that. She should have since Murna mentioned Master Tekka had trained her with a lightsaber.

“I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me sooner,” Luke went on. “I trained in this style quite a bit when I was young and it’s the style Jacen and Jaina preferred to use when they were working together.”

His expression wilted a bit at the mention of the twins, but he quickly covered it by getting back to his feet. He drew his lightsaber back out and she found her heart picking up again as she followed him back to the training ground.

“So how about we work on it some more?” he asked with a sly grin on his face.

She held her arms out to her sides and made the sabers float into her hands before she lit them both and readied her stance.

He chuckled and drew his own saber. “Flashy. Let’s see if I can teach you how to back it up.”

*****

Once Luke became too tired to carry on, he told Rey to go and spend some time with Poe since he would likely be on his mission for quite a while. And that was the point she became very worried about where he was going. She hailed a sky car right away and had it bring her to Poe’s house. When the car landed, she was confused to see not one but two sky cars sitting out front. Poe hadn’t mentioned that someone else was going to be here.

When she went inside, she was hit immediately with a smell that made her realize how hungry she was. The door closed behind her, and when she went into the living room, she was met with Poe stepping out of the kitchen.

“Hey,” she said. “Is someone else here? I saw two cars outside.”

“Nah,” he answered as he walked up to her. “I think the General’s exact words were, ‘Since I keep making her run around so much, I figured I could at least get her a sky car of her own.’”

She smiled as he slid his arm around her waist and started leading her toward the kitchen.

“Good thing, too,” he said. “I’ve seen the way you drive. Not about to leave my car in your hands while I’m on my mission.”

She laughed at his joke, but the mention of his mission kept the laugh from being as cheerful as it otherwise might have been.

They stepped into the kitchen, and Rey’s stomach growled when she saw the food he’d prepared. She would have to remember to stop eating such small lunches.

“I didn’t know you could cook.”

“Yeah, well,” he said as he stepped around the counter to turn off the stove. “Some of us don’t live in an academy where we get all of our meals cooked for us.”

She laughed again and followed him so that they could both make their plates. Poe’s house wasn’t big enough for an actual dining room, so they both went to the living room to sit on the sofa. One bite of the food left her head spinning for all the right reasons. The cafeteria food was gonna taste like cardboard after this.

She took another bite right away, and after she swallowed it, she heard him laugh.

She looked at him and asked, “What?”

“I guess I don’t need to ask if you like it.”

She rolled her eyes and went to take another bite, but she put her fork down. Now was as good a time as any.

“So what’s this mission the General is sending you on?”

He was half-way through taking a bite of his own food when he stopped and put his fork on his plate.

He glanced at her and said, “Gonna be honest, I was hoping you wouldn’t ask.”

Despite the food tasting so good, those words stripped her of her appetite. She put both her fork and her plate on the coffee table in front of them before winding her hands together and letting them rest in her lap.

“It’s gonna be really dangerous, isn’t it?”

“It could be,” he answered as he put his plate down next to hers. “After Hux’s murder, the General is worried about the real map. She wants us to take it to a group of Mandalorians.”

“Mandalorians?” she said, her mouth hanging open. “I thought they were extinct.”

“So did I, but I guess we shouldn’t be surprised,” he said. “Mandalorians have always been good at staying hidden, and they’ve got no love for the Empire. There’s no way they’ll let the First Order get their hands on that map.”

It made sense, but the idea of Poe having to travel with the actual map still twisted her stomach into a knot.

“But why do _you_ have to go?” Rey asked. “She already has Han and Chewie. If the Millennium Falcon is as fast as Han claims, they shouldn’t have any trouble without you.”

He draped his hand over both of hers. “Yeah, Han and Chewie are going, but if something happens to Han, they need a backup pilot.”

“And who better than ‘the best pilot in the Republic,’ right?” she answered with more worry than sarcasm.

“Something like that.”

Her anxiety was reaching a head, so she sounded more desperate when she said, “Poe, you can’t even walk without braces, yet.”

“That’s why Jemma’s coming,” he said, “Just in case something goes wrong and these things need to be repaired. It’s gonna be all right, Rey.”

“You don’t know that!” she exclaimed suddenly. “I saw what the First Order did to you when they thought you had the map! And now you really _are_ gonna have it! If they find out somehow…”

She had to look away. The thought was too painful. But a hand on her cheek had her turning back. To her absolute annoyance, he was smiling.

“You weren’t exaggerating, were you?” he said with a more jovial tone. “You’re giving my mom a run for her money.”

She huffed and turned away again. This was one of those times she needed him to stop being so overly carefree.

He scooted closer to her and she felt his arm slide around her waist again. He pulled her against him and said, “Rey.”

She wanted to keep her eyes averted, but she couldn’t resist him now any more than she ever could. When she looked at him, he brought his hand up and into the back of her hair.

“I get it,” he said gently. “You already know, if the roles were reversed, I’d be worried too. But I’m a soldier. You’re gonna be a Jedi. The two of us going off on dangerous missions is gonna be a pretty common thing, so we’re both gonna have to learn to live with it.”

She exhaled a breath. “You make it sound so easy.”

“Who said anything about _easy_?” he said, sounding slightly annoyed. “I know better than most people how hard it is, but worrying ourselves to death isn’t helping anyone, is it?”

“Then what do you suggest, Poe?” she asked. “I can’t exactly turn my emotions off anymore.”

She felt him tense like he did almost every time she referenced her life with the First Order. She’d thought, one day, he might get past it, but it hadn’t happened yet.

“Yeah, and I don’t want you to,” he answered. “I just need you to believe that I can take care of myself.”

She was mildly offended. “I do believe that.”

“Do you?” he asked. “Rey, you said that Luke told you to find a purpose separate from being a Jedi and ‘protecting _me_.’ If you think I need protection, can you_ really_ say you believe that I can take care of myself?”

She closed her mouth before any words tried to escape because she didn’t have a response to that. She’d truly never looked at it that way, and she should have. When she told Poe she would be okay on her mission, he was worried, but he believed her. Why couldn’t she do the same for him? When did she start infantalizing him so much in her mind?

“I can’t use a fancy lightsaber or move things with my mind, but I’m not a pushover,” he said with a tinge of hurt in his voice. “So could you maybe not treat me like one?”

She had to swallow before her throat decided to tighten up. The last time she’d felt this guilty about hurting him, she’d hugged him, so she decided she’d go ahead and do it again. She flung herself into his lap just like last time, except this time she didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing them.

She felt his arms come around her before she said, “I’m sorry, Poe. You’re right. You’re right about everything, as usual.”

His hands came around to cup her face, like last time, and he gently nudged her back.

“Come on, don’t say it like that,” he said. “It’s not a big deal.”

She shook her head. “Maybe not, but I was being stupid. I don’t know why I was acting like you’re weak when I know for a fact you’re not. I never saw a single other prisoner bear through the First Order’s torture like you did. All of them broke within minutes.”

“Hey,” he said, pulling her face closer. “I don’t want you thinking about that, right now. I said it’s not a big deal, so leave it at that.”

She naturally moved in to close the remaining gap between them, and she didn’t know if it was the atmosphere or the fact that they were alone, but the headiness that came from that kiss was far more potent than any of the other ones she’d given him. She grabbed the front of his shirt, and she almost sighed at the feeling of his hands running down her sides and to her hips. Her head was so high in the clouds that when he broke away, it took everything she had not to pull him right back in, especially when she saw how his eyes were burning.

But he reigned himself in just as quickly as he had the last time and said, “By the way. I got a question for you.”

“Oh, you do?”

He nodded and took a quick look around the room. “What do you think of this place?”

She followed his lead and looked around as well, before shrugging. “It’s nice, I guess. But I also spent months living in the barracks of the First Order’s starship, so I might not be the best judge.”

She saw that same embarrassed look on his face that she’d seen after they left her hometown. She cocked her head to the side and didn’t try to hide her amusement.

“Poe?”

He cleared his throat and said, “Look, I know we’re not there yet, but I just wanted to know if this is maybe a place you think you could live one day.”

After hearing that, she naturally started looking around again, but she already knew the answer.

She let her arms drape over his shoulders and muttered, “Yeah. It is.”


	16. Chapter 16

Staying the night at Poe’s house hadn’t been her intention, but it was what wound up happening. After they’d finished eating their dinner, she hadn’t been in any hurry to leave, so the hours passed without either of them caring much about how many were passing. By the time the sun had set and it was time for bed, she didn’t feel like returning to the academy, and it wasn’t as if they’d never slept in a bed together before.

He was up before she was since he needed to be at the port early, and she awoke to him gently shaking her.

“Hey,” he said. “I don’t have time to cook you breakfast, too, so you’d better get going if you wanna get back to the academy in time.”

She groaned and dragged herself out of bed, quickly straightening out the mess her hair had turned into while she was sleeping. She met him at the bedroom doorway where he was waiting and holding what she recognized as a starter for a sky car. He held it out to her and when she reached out to take it, he dragged her closer and into a kiss. She’d mostly banished her massive anxiety from the night before, but she couldn’t help still worrying a little. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him a little closer before they broke away.

Her first instinct was to tell him to be careful, but after the scene she made the night before, she couldn’t bring herself to pester him like that. So she gave him an encouraging smile and said, “I’ll see you soon.”

He smirked at her and said, “I changed my mind. I think I like it better when you worry.”

She rolled her eyes and slapped him lightly on the chest before she turned to head for the front door. He caught her by her left wrist before she could get far, and when she turned back she saw him holding out a thin, black device about the same size as the car-starter.

“If you wanna be able to get into the house while I’m gone you’re gonna need this,” he said, pressing the device into her hand. “Just wave it in front of the scanner next to the door and it’ll open.”

She closed her hand around it and slid it into her pocket next to the starter.

“All right,” she said with a smirk. “But when you can’t get rid of me, remember it was your own fault.”

He grinned and shook his head. “Get going, will you?”

She did what he said, but the worries pricked at her even as she climbed into her sky car and flew to the academy. Of all of the missions, why did _this_ have to be the first one she had to see him go on?

She parked her car next to the academy and climbed out, pleased to see that breakfast had started only half an hour ago. She went straight to the cafeteria and got in line. She looked over at her usual table and found Dia and Farren already sitting and eating their food. After preparing her tray she went to sit with them, and they both had scheming looks on their faces.

She looked back and forth between them before asking, “What?”

Farren was the first to answer when she signed, “_Did you have fun_?”

Rey raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Huh?”

Dia giggled and clarified, “Well, you spent the night with the hot pilot didn’t you?”

Rey averted her eyes when she realized what they were implying.

“That’s not…” Rey stammered. “We didn’t…”

They both started laughing at her, and she had half a mind to make their trays fly into their faces. But she just kept her eyes on her food and started eating, content to ignore them as well as she could.

“Oh, come on,” Dia said, a laugh still in her voice. “If we didn’t tease you, you’d think we didn’t like you anymore.”

Rey’s first thought was to argue against that, but the thought died right away because she knew Dia was right. If there was one thing Rey could count on with these two it was their ability to treat almost every situation with levity.

Farren’s hands moved again and she signed, “_So are you gonna be staying at his house from now on_?”

Rey shrugged and started pushing her food around with her fork. “Maybe? I don’t know. We’ll probably talk about it when he gets back from his mission.”

Dia put her fork down. “He’s going on a mission while he’s still stuck wearing leg braces?”

Rey nodded. “I said the same thing, but there was no talking him out of it. He’s a soldier through and through. He’s not gonna refuse the General.”

Dia smirked and asked, “So how badly did you freak out on him?”

Rey groaned in annoyance and immediately wished she’d never said anything. Dia was snickering when she stood up and stretched her arms over her head.

Rey caught a glimpse of Farren signing, “_What’s up_?”

“Nothing,” Dia answered sarcastically. “Can’t a girl go to the bathroom without getting interrogated?”

Farren chuckled and turned her attention back to her food. Dia walked out of the cafeteria, and Rey’s eyes naturally followed her. But her throat tightened when Dia walked right past Eva and Pierce, who were sitting at the table next to the door. Before she could avert her eyes again, they met Eva’s, and she was surprised to see none of the hatred and anger she usually saw behind them.

She looked away and back to her tray of food. While she wasn’t going to get too ahead of herself, she thought maybe she’d at least put a crack in that shell around Eva. She picked up her fork to take a bite of her food when something ran through her head that made her immediately drop it.

_RA-2187_.

They knew. Somehow, Pierce and Eva knew what it was even though Poe had never told anyone. So who told them?

She bolted away from the table and right toward Pierce and Eva. Eva looked up at her with a confused expression while Pierce maintained his usual scowl.

“What do you want, Stormtrooper?” Pierce asked flatly.

“Pierce, stop being an ass for five seconds and listen,” Rey said frantically. “You two knew my number, RA-2187. How?”

Pierce’s angry gaze only burned hotter. “What do you mean, _how_?”

“Who told it to you?” Rey snapped, getting annoyed. “Someone did and it sure as hell wasn’t me.”

Eva placed a hand on Pierce’s forearm and that seemed to calm him a little. She then looked up at Rey and said, “No one told us. We heard it from Jemma.”

Rey was momentarily taken aback. “Jemma?”

Eva nodded. “That first night when she brought you to the medical wing. It was pretty quiet inside, so we overheard the two of you talking.”

Rey’s eyes darted about the floor as she tried to remember. When did Jemma say it? Her hands clenched and her eyes flew open wider.

‘_I can’t imagine living my life being called RA-2187_.’

She found her legs had almost no strength and she stumbled into the wall next to the doorway. Her breathing became heavy and her head started spinning as pieces to a puzzle she never wanted to complete started falling into place.

‘_For what it’s worth, I think your idea for dealing with the Stormtroopers is a good one_.’

She knew about the mission. She was the one who warned Phasma. And Hux. The information Jemma had gathered from his ship. Rey had thought it was strange that the assailant didn’t kill her or Jemma, but it had never once crossed her mind that Jemma was involved. It made too much sense in the worst way, and her heart pounded so hard she thought it would explode from her chest.

“Hey,” came Eva’s worried voice. “What’s gotten into you?”

She met Eva’s eyes and her voice shook terribly when she said, “Jemma’s the traitor.”

Eva’s mouth fell open. “What did you say?”

Rey’s voice came out louder than she’d meant it to when she repeated, “Jemma’s the traitor! Eva, there’s no other explanation! No one knew my number! Poe never told-”

Every ounce of air left her lungs in an instant.

‘_That’s why Jemma’s coming_.’

Rey almost choked when she mumbled, “Poe.”

She didn’t wait another instant and shot out of the cafeteria and straight toward the front door, only barely hearing Eva call out her name. She jumped in her sky car and sped off toward the port faster than she’d ever driven before.

*****

She’d never thought much about the size of the Millennium Falcon, but as she sped around the port looking for it, she wished more than anything that it was bigger. Her eyes zeroed in but the longer she went without seeing it, the more terrified she became until she was having to fight back a knot in her throat the size of BB-8.

_Be calm, Rey._

She stopped the car.

“Master?”

_Use the Force._

“The Force? How?”

_Remember the forest._

She almost wished he wasn’t dead just so she could slap him for continuing to be so vague at a time like this. What about the forest? Nothing that happened there could possibly help her now. She’d only-

‘_Kylo Ren is coming. Get to the ship_.’

Jedi senses. Luke could sense Kylo Ren coming from miles away. He could sense her thoughts from the planet’s atmosphere. And that day in the hospital, Luke had stepped out of the way of the door. That meant he'd sensed Poe coming. Surely that meant _she_ could sense Poe, too. She closed her eyes and did her best to do what Luke taught her.

Stay calm. Clear your mind. You’re never gonna find him in time if you keep zipping around like an idiot. She inhaled a deep breath and blew it out slowly. You can do this, Rey. Concentrate. You know what he feels like. Find him.

She felt the light pressure of the Force moving around her, and she followed it, letting it guide her as she reached out toward the port. The ships appeared to her as clearly as if she were seeing them with her eyes, and she could feel the presence of every person inside of them.

He’s not there. Stretch out. Look further. He’s down there somewhere.

As if she were looking through a telescope, she moved her sights around the port until she’d searched this entire side. He wasn’t there, so she moved her search to the back, somehow keeping her concentration despite the fact that tears were now streaming freely down her face.

The feeling came so suddenly it almost stole all of her breath again. There it was. She couldn’t describe it, but every part of her knew it. It was him.

She opened her eyes and shot the car in the direction the feeling had come from. If she could still sense him, he was still alive. She wasn’t too late. The Millennium Falcon came into view within a few moments, and her relief was profound. She didn’t bother parking the car properly before she hopped out and drew both of her sabers.

She rushed up the Falcon’s ramp and toward Poe, who she could tell was in the cockpit. When she looked through the cockpit's doorway, she launched herself inside right away, bringing her dagger saber up to slice right through the blaster that Jemma had pointed at the back of Poe’s head. She didn’t want to give Jemma even a moment to compose herself, so she sent a massive Force push in her direction, which slammed her into the wall behind her and left her stunned.

In the next few seconds, Rey dragged Poe behind her with a Force pull and readied her second saber, keeping her eyes trained on Jemma the whole time.

“Rey?” came Poe’s confused voice. “What are you…? What the hell is going on?”

Another tear leaked from Rey’s eye when she answered, “She’s the traitor, Poe. She was about to shoot you in the back of the head and take the map.”

She felt Poe’s devastation right away, and it was almost as strong as hers had been.

“Are you serious?”

Rey nodded. “Believe me, I wish I wasn’t.”

Jemma had managed to regain her composure, and when Rey met her eyes, she knew she wasn’t looking upon the woman she’d come to know. It was as if Jemma had been wearing a mask all of this time and Rey had just seen it fall away.

But part of her still didn’t want to accept this, so she found herself asking, “Why?”

Jemma scoffed and crossed her arms. “Explaining would be useless. You’ll never understand. Had you remained with the First Order, I might have been able to steer you on the correct path, but Skywalker has already tainted you beyond repair.”

Rey was disgusted. “The ‘correct path?’ There is no universe where torturing children is the ‘correct path.’”

Jemma snickered and answered, “That’s the problem with Jedi. You can’t see two inches past your faces. It’s why Darth Sidious was able to rise to power right under the noses of the Jedi Council, and it’s why I was able to hide within Skywalker’s very own family for decades. Honestly, it’s all very ironic.”

She took a step closer to Rey, and Rey reacted by getting into her battle stance.

“My master didn’t think me worthy to inherit his power,” Jemma said with a demented grin on her face. “He saw me as little more than a womb he could use to breed a perfect apprentice. Yet, I’ve accomplished things he never could.”

Rey’s attention was piqued when Jemma slid her hand into the pocket of her beige trousers.

Before Rey could order her to raise her hands, Jemma sneered, “And I will accomplish even more.”

Rey heard a beep, and then she was on her knees, a pain more stomach-turning than any she’d ever felt surging through her entire body. It was as if someone had powered up one of the First Order’s tasers and stabbed it right into her head.

Her head. The eye. Jemma had sabotaged it. That’s what Master Tekka had been trying to warn her about.

Another wave of pain came over her, causing her to lose grip on both of her lightsabers and press her hands into the sides of her head. She could feel the vibrations in her throat, so she knew she was screaming, but she couldn’t hear it. The pain was dulling everything else.

And then it stopped all at once. During those precious few seconds, she realized Poe was knelt down next to her and trying to help her, but there was nothing he could do. Jemma was far smarter than Rey had ever given her credit for.

“Now, Poe,” Jemma snarled. “Give me the map.”

Rey couldn’t move well yet, but she was able to choke out, “Don’t you dare.”

Poe shakily got to his feet, and when Rey glanced up at him, she saw the same defiance in his eyes she’d seen when he was facing down Kylo Ren on Jakku.

“Don’t test me, Poe,” Jemma said sternly. “That was the lowest setting. If you think for one second I won’t fry her brain, you’re sorely mistaken.”

Rey wasn’t able to hear if Poe responded because the pain came back, far more intense this time. She flopped completely to the floor and started clawing at the fake eye, trying desperately to remove it. But she couldn’t get a grip on it while Jemma was electrocuting her so severely.

Somehow, through her own screaming and the pain, Rey was able to hear Poe’s desperate voice call out, “All right, stop!”

She might have been relieved when the pain stopped if she didn’t know what it meant. She shakily pushed her hands into the floor in an attempt to raise her upper body.

“Poe,” she said weakly. “Don’t.”

But he was already holding a small holocron out to Jemma, and Rey was just about to try to intercept when the pain returned, just as badly as last time. She caught a glimpse of Jemma snatching the holocron with her left hand and immediately holding her right hand out toward Poe. Poe’s hands flew to his own throat, and then Rey knew. Since she felt the need to stun Rey with the eye, Jemma obviously wasn’t very powerful with the Force, but she didn’t need to be when facing down a normal person like Poe.

The next wave of pain tore through Rey as if someone was slicing her head in half with a molten laser. She couldn’t even raise her hand to try clawing at the eye again. It was too much. Every muscle in her body was failing her, and she could feel the last shreds of her consciousness falling away.

_Save him._

The voice was like a massive shot of adrenaline straight into her veins. Her previously closed eyes flew open and she held her hand out toward the dagger lightsaber she’d dropped before. She made it come to her, lit it, and forced her hand to remain still as she raised it to the fake eye and drove the beam right into the center of it. The pain immediately stopped as the eye short-circuited and went dark, but she didn’t need that eye to see anymore.

She shot to her feet and drew her other saber back to her, flinging it up and slicing right through the arm Jemma was using to choke Poe. The cut landed right below the elbow. Jemma’s face paled and she stumbled back, but Rey wasn’t taking any more chances. She used a Force pull to drag Jemma to her and chopped her in the back of the neck. She fell unconscious, and Rey let her drop to the floor at her feet.

Rey heard Poe gasping for air, but she didn’t have time to help him because she could sense another presence was fast approaching from her blind side. She turned and raised her long saber just in time to catch a blow that had come from what Rey could now see was a red lightsaber. She remembered a time when that mask would have frightened her, but not now. Not ever again.

She flung her arms forward to make Kylo Ren stumble backward and took her stance. She couldn’t see his eyes, but she knew Ren’s expression was smug as he took a far more lazy stance.

“Poe,” Rey said. “Take Jemma and get out of here.”

His voice was hoarse when he answered, “Rey, you-”

“Shut up and go!” she snapped. “Now!”

She was relieved when he didn’t try to argue again and grabbed Jemma by her remaining arm. She thought Kylo Ren might try to stop him, but he just stood by, which meant Poe’s actions wouldn’t affect whatever plan he and Jemma had concocted. But Rey couldn’t be bothered to care.

Poe stopped right at the doorway of the cockpit and peeked over his shoulder. "You stay alive, you hear me?"

She wanted to answer him, but she couldn't. She didn't dare let any of her attention be pulled away from Ren, especially since he was beginning to pace back and forth in front of her.

“You must know you don’t have a chance, RA-2187.”

She wasn’t going to give him the courtesy of acknowledging that number.

“I don’t need to defeat you,” Rey answered. “I just need to hold you off until Luke gets here.”

Ren scoffed. “Pathetic. He won’t always be around to save you.”

“Who said anything about saving me?”

She didn’t give Ren time to respond and lunged forward, putting her training to use as she forced him to guard once, and then again, and again. But he quickly reminded her of how powerful he was when he made her float in the air and threw her straight through the cockpit’s doorway. She managed to shift while in midair so that she could land on her feet, but she knew the fight couldn’t continue like this. Not enough space.

So she leaped backward and straight down the ramp that led outside. As she expected, Ren followed right away, and while Rey momentarily considered trying to ambush him, she knew it wouldn’t work. She wasn’t dealing with a normal human. She met him face to face when he stepped off the bottom of the ramp, and with the extra space, she was able to cut loose completely.

She wasn’t able to harm him. He caught every one of her blows, but he hadn't managed to hurt her, either. Their stalemate continued for many long moments until Ren suddenly jumped backward and behind a stack of crates. Rey knew what he was about to do. It was the same trick the masked assassin had used on her and she wasn’t about to fall for it a second time.

So when Ren launched the crates in her direction, Rey leaped and flipped over them before falling straight toward Ren. She landed a mere foot in front of him and sliced her dagger saber straight up. She’d been aiming for his face, but his mask took the blow instead and split right in two.

The mask fell away, and as soon as Rey glimpsed the face underneath, all of the anger and adrenaline seemed to instantly fade from her. She looked exactly as she’d looked in Han’s projection save for one thing. Her eyes shone orange and burned with more hatred than Rey had ever seen.

“Jaina?”

She didn’t answer and Rey felt the consequences of getting so distracted when she suddenly couldn’t breathe. She managed to keep hold of both of her sabers, but she was quickly thrown backward and onto her back. Before she could even start trying to get up, Jaina was upon her, pinning both of her wrists to the ground with a knee and a foot.

Jaina’s hateful eyes peered down at Rey as she raised her lightsaber over her head.

“I told you that you didn’t stand a chance.”

Rey flinched and her eyes fell closed when Jaina swung her saber straight down. But the sound of two sabers clashing had Rey opening her eyes right back up. A green lightsaber had caught Jaina’s and stopped it mere inches in front of Rey’s face. When Rey raised her eyes, her mouth hung open when she saw that Eva was the one holding the green saber. Eva slowly pulled her lightsaber up, forcing Jaina’s away from Rey before she flung her arms forward and sent Jaina stumbling backward.

Rey heard the sound of several more lightsabers lighting up, and when she looked around she saw almost every older student from the Jedi academy. Standing in the middle of them was Luke, Ben, and Han. Then, at the very end of the line of Jedi trainees was a group of at least a half-dozen Republic soldiers, spear-headed by Chewie and General Leia.

“Get up, Rey,” Eva said, holding a hand out to her.

Rey could scarcely believe it was happening, but she took Eva’s hand anyway and shakily climbed to her feet. After she made her sabers float back to her, she started wildly looking around, searching for Poe. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw him standing near the General, holding Jemma’s remaining arm behind her back.

Jaina took a quick look around her before she slowly lowered her saber and deactivated it. But, despite being surrounded, she appeared perfectly indifferent, even as she looked at her completely stunned family members.

Ben was the first to step forward, and the devastation was plain on his face when he said, “Jaina?”

She looked at him, but her expression didn’t change. Nor did it change when the rest of her family approached alongside him. They all stopped a few feet away except for Han, who kept walking until he was standing right in front of her. His eyes held a mixture of anguish and relief when he held a hand out to her.

“Jaina,” he said gently. “I don’t know what happened to turn you to this, but you know as well as I do that it’s not too late. You can still come back.”

Jaina smirked at him and slapped his hand away. “Who says I want to?”

Rey could see the tears shining in Han’s eyes when he responded, “Sweetheart, there’s nothing but death and pain down this road. Think of your grandfather.”

“I do,” Jaina spat. “Have you?”

“All the time,” Han answered. “Why do you think I had you train with Luke? I never wanted this for you.”

She scoffed. “Worked out really well, didn’t it?”

Han visibly flinched at her words, and she stepped closer. Rey had to admire Han’s nerve when he didn’t back away from her.

“I’ve seen the future, _Daddy_,” she sneered. “The Jedi will destroy themselves again, just like they did when Palpatine was in power. I’m not going to let them destroy me.”

Han didn’t look remotely fazed and said, “So what’s your plan, kid? Kill all of the Jedi? Luke, Ben… Jacen?”

At the mention of Jacen, Rey saw a tiny sliver of vulnerability leak through Jaina’s stone expression. But it vanished quickly enough and she started to raise her lightsaber.

“If I have to,” she answered with a twinge of anger in her voice. “Grandfather gave Luke a chance to turn. I will, too.”

“I think you know me better than that, Jaina,” Luke responded.

Jaina looked at him with disgust. “I suppose I do.”

Her lightsaber raised a little more, and Rey sucked in a breath when she saw Han reach out and place his hand over top of Jaina’s, stopping the lightsaber right in front of his chest.

“Don’t do this, Jaina,” Han pleaded. “You’re surrounded. If you won’t budge, then at least come quietly. None of us want to hurt you.”

A sadistic smile curled on Jaina’s lips. “The biggest mistake any of you will ever make.”

Rey audibly gasped and Chewie released a guttural wail when Jaina activated her saber, sending the beam straight through Han’s chest. His eyes bugged and his whole body tensed up before he reached a hand out to place against Jaina’s cheek. Rey saw him mouth something, but it was drowned out by Jemma yelling at the top of her lungs.

“Knights of Ren!”

A significant number of the green and blue sabers around Rey vanished only to be immediately replaced with red ones. Before she could even take another breath, those red sabers were driven straight through the backs of just as many students, among them Pierce. And when Rey turned to see the owner of the saber that was poking out of Pierce’s chest, tears immediately welled in her eye.

Dia brought a foot up and kicked Pierce in the lower back as she yanked her saber from his back and turned on Farren. Rey’s body moved on instinct. She shoved Farren away and activated her larger saber at the same time, catching Dia’s saber on the downswing. She immediately activated her dagger saber as well, but as she looked at Dia, she couldn’t bring herself to swing it.

Dis smirked at her and used a Force push to knock her back. Rey could tell by the noises that a full-blown battle had broken out, but she couldn’t focus on it. All she could feel was the gut-wrenching betrayal that was making her want to crumple.

“What’s wrong, Rey?” Dia asked in a voice dripping with fake sweetness. “Not gonna ask me why?”

Rey readied her stance. “Is there a point?”

Dia shrugged and readied her own stance. “I guess not. But I hope you don’t think this is gonna go any better than last time just because you have another saber.”

The words ‘last time’ made this whole situation cut even deeper, but Rey shoved down the pain as much as she could.

“At least you have the guts to show your face this time.”

Dia released a sarcastic laugh and lunged toward Rey. Without a mask impeding her vision, Dia moved much faster, but Rey met her, blow for blow. She had to. If she let Dia cut her down, Farren would definitely be her next target. She wasn’t about to let that happen.

Dia was good, but it became readily apparent that she was nowhere near as good as Jaina because while Rey had been the one on the defensive against Jaina, she was quickly forcing Dia into a cycle of blocking and dodging. She wanted more than anything to keep her there because, despite everything, she still didn’t want to hurt her.

But you have to. She’s probably killed Pierce. She’ll kill Farren, Eva, and anyone else she can get her hands on. You have to protect them.

She allowed herself to shed one more tear before she let go of all of her inhibitions and swung at Dia as if they’d never been friends. Because they hadn’t. Not really. Rey had been closer to loving Dia than she wanted to think about, but Dia never loved her. Or Farren.

Dia’s expression turned to one of frustration and eventually desperation as Rey drove her back further and further. And then Dia’s hand slipped. It wasn’t by much, but it was just enough for Rey to knock her lightsaber from her hand and drive a quick punch into her face, stunning her for a few precious seconds. Rey took advantage of it and wrestled her into a sleeper hold, hoping she could end this by knocking her out rather than killing her.

But now that Rey wasn’t having to focus on fighting, she had time to notice what was happening around her. Luke was on his knees, his whole body being wracked by waves of electricity coming out of his prosthetic arm. Ben stood by him, desperately trying to protect him from Jaina while the surviving Jedi students were fighting off their former classmates to the best of their ability. The General, Chewie, and her men were firing off shots where they could, but the ones that didn’t miss were mostly being deflected. And then she saw Poe.

He was lying on the ground with the same waves of electricity coming out of his leg braces. And Jemma, she was knelt over him, digging through his pockets. She didn’t feel it happen, but she must have unconsciously loosened her grip on Dia because Dia slipped out and called her lightsaber back to her.

Before Rey could react, Dia activated her saber and swung it straight up. Rey felt a deep, painful burn right before her long saber hit the ground along with the bottom half of her left arm. Her head spun, but she managed to raise her dagger saber to block another blow. It wasn’t enough. She was too light-headed. Dia swiftly kicked Rey in the chest, sending her falling onto her back.

Just as Dia raised her saber again, Rey heard the sound of dozens of blasters all firing at the same time. Dia turned to look behind her, and Rey followed her eyes. Her vision was becoming wobbly, but she was able to recognize four First Order transports sitting right next to the Millennium Falcon. Stormtroopers were pouring out of them in large groups and running straight toward the battle.

Rey might have taken a moment to be terrified if she hadn’t noticed one unbelievable thing. The Stormtroopers weren’t firing at the Jedi. They were firing at Jemma, Jaina, and the Knights of Ren.

She vaguely recognized Jemma’s voice calling out, “Retreat!” but she couldn’t hold onto consciousness and shut her eyes.


	17. Chapter 17

_Rey._

She could hear him, but she couldn’t see him. She couldn’t see anything, only inky blackness all around her.

_Rey. Can you hear me?_

She wasn’t sure if she was nodding, but she tried to and answered, ‘_Yes, Master_.’

_Good, if you can hear me clearly now, it means you’ve finally fully connected with the Force. You’ve done well._

She released a pained laugh. ‘Well? _Master, I failed… again_.’

_You’re far from the only one. No one saw Jemma for what she was._

She released a frustrated groan. ‘_But I knew! Ages ago, I found out that Poe never told anyone my number! It should have occurred to me right then_!’

_Hmm. Poe. I seem to recall a wise piece of advice he gave you. Something about you not being a god?_

She didn’t have a response to that, so she didn’t say anything. There was a short pause wherein she felt something touch her shoulder.

_Rey, if you’re willing to pick yourself back up and keep going, you’ll soon leave those failures in the dust. And you need to pick yourself back up. For all of your efforts, Jemma did escape with the map._

She’d been under no delusions that they managed to capture Jemma, but that didn’t make it easy to hear. So close. They’d been so close to ending the First Order.

No. Stop it. Remember what the General said. Shelve your regrets. They’re not doing you any good. You have a job to do, so do it.

‘_I understand, Master_,’ she said. ‘_I’ll stop her_.’

She felt a gentle constriction on her shoulder.

_I know you will. Now wake up, Rey. I’ll see you soon._

She was about to ask what he meant, but she was suddenly aware of a bright light bearing down on her eyelids. It was completely quiet around her aside from the repetitive beeping of a heart rate monitor. She peeled her eyelids, or rather eyelid, open. It had been a while since she’d felt it, but there was no way she could forget the feeling of her eyesocket being empty.

She moved to feel around for the bandage on her head when she was given a stark reminder of what had happened to her right before she fainted. She glanced down at her left arm with her remaining eye and saw a stump wrapped in white bandages. When Jemma found out, she’d likely see it as poetic comeuppance.

She raised her only remaining hand up to her forehead and blew out a breath. She could say one thing for herself. When she failed, she failed spectacularly. After running her hand down her face, she let it drop back onto the bed next to her. She was ready to let herself fall back asleep when she felt a slight movement on the bed next to her.

She turned her head completely so she could see better and felt like she’d breathe out a lung at the sight of Poe, head resting on his arms as he slept. Her right hand shook wildly as she reached out to slide it into his hair, and the contact had tears welling in her eye.

And then he moved, so she pulled her hand back and waited for him to raise his head. It took him a few seconds to blink the sleep from his eyes, but once he did, he looked right at her. She didn’t have time to utter a single word before he reached out to grab onto the back of her head and pull her up into the most consuming kiss he’d ever given her.

_Thank the stars above_. He was here, and he was okay. She didn’t want to think of what would have happened to her if he wasn’t. She wanted him closer, so she grasped the collar of his shirt and pulled at him. He answered her silent plea right after he took off what she could now see were different leg braces than the ones he’d been wearing before.

Once he was on the bed with her, she buried her face in his chest as his arm came up to wrap around her. She felt him leave another kiss on her forehead, and she loved how it immediately calmed her down. Compared to this, losing an arm was little more than a mild inconvenience.

“What happened after I passed out?” she asked him, somewhat afraid of the answer.

He sighed. “Well, apparently Jemma had ordered one of those transports to show up so that it could pick up the Knights of Ren, but a whole lot of Stormtroopers defected and hijacked that transport and three others. Looks like your plan to hack the speakers worked.”

That was a small mercy, but it wasn’t enough to stop more tears from falling. Jemma being a traitor hurt far more than she could say but it paled in comparison to Dia. That fake persona of Dia's had been so much like Finn. Joking around and giving her a hard time almost every second of the day. Rey had become so comfortable with it, too comfortable. She reached up to wipe the tears from her eyes. No more. She wouldn’t cry for her anymore. She wasn’t worth it.

“Where’s Farren?”

His other hand moved through her hair when he told her, “Down the hall in another room. Eva’s with her.”

That was all she needed to hear. She started pushing herself up in an attempt to climb out of the bed. She needed to go see Farren. She needed to make sure she was okay.

“What are you doing?” he said as he firmly pulled her back. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“I want to see Farren,” she answered. “Let me go.”

“No way,” he said sternly. “You need to rest if you’re gonna make it to the funeral tomorrow.”

Funeral. That word killed any motivation she had to be anywhere but in his arms. She’d known people were dead, but she really hadn’t wanted it confirmed.

“How many died?”

His pained expression made her chest sting. “Every person who took a lightsaber in the back died. And… Han. Pretty sure he died before he even hit the ground.”

This was the part where she was supposed to start crying harder, but she found the only thing she could feel was an overwhelming numbness. So many people. As she draped her arm over Poe, one question plagued her mind.

How did this happen?

*****

With her only major injury being her arm, Rey had been allowed to leave the hospital later that same evening. She couldn’t bear to be at the academy, so Poe took her to his house. The pain of mourning hung over them the entire night, so even when Poe cooked dinner, neither of them managed to eat very much. When they went to bed, sleep was fleeting for both of them.

So climbing out of bed the next day to get ready for the funeral was nothing less than a chore. But they managed to make their way out to Poe’s sky car. They had only one stop to make before the funeral: the academy. Rey had to get some black robes to put on. It was completely silent when she stepped inside, as she’d expected. Even if there were a few people who didn’t attend the funeral, it wasn’t likely they would carry out their day normally.

She went up to her room and changed into the black robes quickly. But as she went to leave, she caught a glimpse of the stuffed cat, still sitting where she’d left it. She took it and shoved it into her pocket. She needed all of the extra support she could get today, and the cat had come to feel like something of a good luck charm.

Once she was back in the car, Poe took off. They didn’t speak. There was nothing either of them could say right now. The car came upon what appeared to be a temple with a large hole carved into the roof. After they parked, she followed Poe inside.

She might have taken a moment to observe the majesty of the building if she hadn’t been distracted by several rows of pyres stretching across the room. Near each pyre stood a Republic soldier holding a lit torch. The bodies of the deceased were positioned on the very top of the pyres, and Rey swallowed as Poe led her to the front of the room where the Skywalker family was waiting.

Luke and the General stood side by side, the General gripping onto Luke’s left arm, while Ben, Lando, and Chewie stood nearby. All save Chewie had tears painting their faces. The Wookie was simply staring at the floor looking completely despondent. She noticed that Luke had either cut off or detached the prosthetic so his right sleeve was blowing in the light breeze that was passing through the room. Rey looked past him and saw, a few rows down, Eva and Farren both standing next to Pierce’s body. While Eva was visibly crying, her face showed nothing but anger.

Rey couldn’t bear to look at her, so she turned her attention back to the Skywalkers. Luke noticed her first and nodded his greeting. She took that as permission to approach, and while she wanted to say something, the typical condolences felt too empty. She’d never done this before, but this was definitely a moment that called for it. She stepped forward and wrapped the only arm she had left around Luke. He returned her embrace as best he could without a hand and with only one free arm, but she hadn't expected him to take his other arm away from the General.

It was in those few seconds that Rey realized words weren’t needed. She could sense his feelings as if they were her own, so she was positive he could sense hers too. She pulled back from him and met his eyes right before kissing him on the cheek below his left eye. Her lips came away wet with his tears, but she was beyond caring.

A melancholy smile curled on his lips and he said, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

She attempted to smile back, but she wasn’t sure if she’d managed it. He turned his attention back to Han’s body, and Rey saw the General finally break from Luke and approach the pyre. Her shaky hand reached out toward Han, and tears dripped off of her chin as she ran that hand through his grey hair. She leaned forward, and Rey thought she might shed tears of her own when she saw the General place a kiss on Han’s forehead. She could see the General’s lips moving, but she spoke too quietly for the words to be heard.

The General wiped the tears from her face as she stepped back to stand next to Luke again. Luke provided his arm, and she grasped it again before turning to the soldier standing nearby. She met his eyes and nodded at him. He nodded back and walked forward to light Han’s pyre. The next soldier followed his lead and the next.

Rey’s attention was dragged away from the soldiers when she heard Chewie release an anguished cry that made her eyes immediately well up. Ben and Lando both moved to comfort him, but he continued to wail as the pyre beneath Han was lit. Luke and the General turned to Chewie, as well, and it didn’t take long for their combined efforts to calm Chewie enough to turn his wails into mere whimpers.

But Chewie’s voice was quickly replaced by another as Rey heard someone shout, “No!”

She turned, only to see Eva shoving the soldier that was trying to light Pierce’s pyre. Her sobs had Rey moving before she’d even stopped to think. She approached Eva and took her by her shoulder.

“Eva, stop,” Rey pleaded.

Eva shook her head and continued to block the soldier’s path even as every other pyre in the room was lit. Rey lowered her hand to Eva’s bicep and pulled at her.

“Eva, please,” she tried again. “Let him go.”

Eva released a pained grunt as she turned on Rey and shoved her back with both hands. Rey stumbled and fell to the ground, looking up in confusion as Eva approached.

“Shut up, Rey!” Eva shouted. “You have no idea what this feels like! You didn’t lose anyone!”

Rey didn’t miss Eva glancing up and in Poe’s direction before she returned her angry gaze to Rey. Farren stepped up to Eva and put one hand on her shoulder and the other on her bicep. Eva looked in Farren’s direction and Farren’s expression was one of pleading when she shook her head. Eva’s eyes stayed locked on Farren for the next few seconds until she broke into another sob. Farren draped an arm over Eva’s shoulders and led her back to stand in front of the pyre. After Farren nodded at him, the soldier stepped forward again and lit Pierce’s pyre.

Rey’s eyes dipped to the ground as a stab of guilt shot through her chest. Eva was right. She had no business trying to comfort anyone at this funeral.

A hand touched her right shoulder, followed by Poe’s voice saying, “Rey. You okay?”

She nodded and let him help her stand, but she kept her eyes as far from Eva as she could. She naturally moved away from Pierce’s body and back toward the Skywalkers, who were now watching the pyre. Ben just looked numb, but the twins were both staring at the flames with the exact same look of righteous anger and determination.

Rey’s eyes moved to Han’s pyre as well. She hadn’t known him well, but her heart broke for him, regardless. He’d wanted so badly for Jaina to come home, but Rey wasn’t sure if she ever would, now.

_Rey_.

Rey’s eyes raised in attention, but she kept her response in her thoughts. ‘_Master_?’

_Go to the military base._

Her eyebrows ran slightly together. ‘_The military base. Why?_’

_Take off Jacen’s hearing aid._

Her eyes grew wider and her mouth hung open. The hearing aid. She’d watched Jemma working on it. A tune-up she’d called it. More like a cruel joke.

She didn’t have the presence of mind to explain anything to Poe and bolted toward the car. He was close behind her, and when they made it to the car, he grabbed her by her shoulder.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” he asked, sounding out of breath.

She climbed into the car and said, “We’re going to wake up Jacen.”

“What?”

She motioned toward the driver’s seat and said, “Just drive. I’ll explain on the way.”

He still looked baffled, but he didn’t argue and climbed into the seat beside her. As promised, she explained everything so that by the time they reached the base, he jumped out of the car even before she did. They both ran inside, past several confused soldiers and made their way to Jacen’s room.

As soon as they were inside, Poe went straight to Jacen’s side and turned his head to get a better look at the hearing aid. Rey watched closely as Poe carefully switched off the hearing aid and removed it. He placed it to the side and Rey stared down at Jacen’s face, waiting for him to open his eyes. But he remained just as still as usual. She was concerned, but she didn’t need to wait for Master Tekka’s direction this time. Her hand rested on his forehead and she closed her eyes.

She concentrated hard, just as she’d done when she was searching for Poe. The Force felt much heavier around him, and that was a blessing because that made it much easier to focus.

‘_Jacen_?’ she called out in her mind. ‘_Can you hear me_?’

The silence that followed seemed to drag out for ages, but she eventually heard a quiet voice answer her.

‘_Yes. I hear you_.’

She felt a smile curl on her lips. ‘_Good. Now, I think it’s high time you woke up, don’t you_?’

There was another pause, but it was shorter than the last.

‘_Yes_,’ he answered. ‘_I agree_.’

A large wave of Force energy washed gently over her, and when she opened her eyes, she was met with Jacen staring up at her. Without his hearing aid, she knew he wouldn’t be able to hear her, so she tapped into the signs Farren had taught her.

_Welcome back._

He took a quick glance around the room, briefly pausing when he noticed Poe. Then he turned back to Rey and raised his hands to sign back.

_Who are you?_

She let out a laugh that surprised even her.

_It’s kind of a long story._

*****

It took time to get Jacen walking again after he’d been bed-ridden for so long, but after he was able to move on his own, Poe and Rey took him to the sky car. She felt terrible about not being able to answer any of his questions, but it wasn’t her place to answer them. The things he needed to be told… it would be better to hear them from his family than a stranger.

Poe parked the car at the temple, where people were just starting to file out. Rey caught a glimpse of Eva leaving with Farren before she saw Jacen’s family coming up behind them. As soon as the General laid eyes on Jacen, Rey saw her wobble as if she were going to faint, but Luke and Lando were quick enough to help steady her. Ben, on the other hand, bolted from his father’s side and went to Jacen without hesitation.

He very nearly tackle-hugged Jacen to the ground, and it wasn’t long before the rest of the family was surrounding him. The funeral had dampened Rey’s spirits, but watching Luke and his family smile so brightly was raising them more than she could have possibly described. It was also making her feel sentimental, so she turned to leave the family to their reunion.

She asked Poe to take her to visit Jaben. On top of wanting to see him, they had some things to talk about. When they arrived at the house, she had to take a moment to compose herself. She and Jaben were okay now, but the events from the previous day were still fresh, too fresh. She had to make sure not to worry him by getting too emotional.

Poe’s hand on her shoulder calmed her a little and his encouraging smile calmed her even more. So after blowing out another breath, she went to the door and let herself in without knocking, remembering that Murna had told her she could do that the last time she was here.

She heard Murna’s heavy footsteps approaching and the old woman met Rey in the entryway. Her already wide eyes widened more at the sight of Rey, and she raised a hand to cover her mouth.

“_By the stars_,” Murna said as she stepped up to Rey and hugged her. “The news said that several Jedi were killed, but there were no names given. Jaben and I were so worried about you, Rey.”

Rey gently hugged Murna as well and said, “Where is he?”

Murna backed away and motioned toward the living room, so Rey went inside. She found him sitting on the living room floor, with a toy TIE fighter floating above his head. Cold fear shot through her and she swiftly drew her dagger saber before making the toy come to her. Right as Jaben turned around, Rey swung the saber up and sliced the toy right in two.

Jaben looked devastated as he shouted, “Rey, why did you-?”

And then he noticed. His little eyes welled up with tears and he ran to her, stepping right over the pieces of the now-forgotten toy. She sheathed the saber and knelt to his level, catching him in a hug. He buried his face into the crook of her neck and she heard him start to cry.

“Rey, your arm,” he choked out through his tears. “What happened?”

She tightened her grip on him and nuzzled her head against his before she answered, “Jemma lied, too.”

Murna stepped up beside them and placed a hand on the back of Jaban’s head. “Come on, Jaben. Let’s get off the floor, and then Rey can explain.”

Rey heard Jaben sniffle before he pulled back and took her hand. She let him lead her to the couch, where he sat between her and Poe. Murna moved to the nearby chair and Rey told them everything that happened before she blacked out yesterday. The more she told, the heavier her chest became, and when she finished, she found she was light-headed.

When she leaned forward to hold her head in her hand, Jaben placed both of his hands on her thigh and asked, “Are you okay?”

She nodded. “Don’t worry about me. We need to worry about you right now.”

He looked confused. “Me? But you’re the one who got hurt.”

“I know,” she answered before she placed her hand on his cheek. “And I wanna make sure you don’t get hurt, too. So I’m gonna ask the General if she can secretly move you two to a different house in another part of the city. Jemma definitely knows about this place, and we’re not taking any chances.”

She’d expected he might be frightened, but when she looked at Jaben she saw no sign of it anywhere on his features. Both of his hands reached up to grab onto hers and he squeezed tightly.

“Move Murna to another house,” he said, resolve flaring in his eyes. “I’m gonna go to the academy.”

Rey gave him a concerned look. “Are you sure?”

He answered right away, “I’m sure. A bunch of Jedi died, right? Then Master Luke needs more, and I wanna help you fight the bad guys.”

She didn’t like that answer.

After firmly grasping his chin, she said, “Now listen. Jedi only fight when they have to, not because they want to. So if you’re only saying you want to go to the academy because you want to fight, then you’re not going.”

His expression wilted. “But, Rey-”

“But nothing,” she interrupted. “Master Luke would tell you the same thing. If you’re gonna go, it’s got to be because you want to protect and defend, not because you want to fight.”

His eyes dipped, so she let go of his chin. He folded his hands in his lap and she could see his whole body trembling. She reached her hand back out and ran it through his hair.

“It’s okay, Jaben,” she said. “You’re not in trouble, you just need to understand. When you go to the academy, they’re gonna teach you discipline first, second, and third. You’ll learn combat along with it, but discipline is gonna be a huge focus. Because a Jedi who throws away discipline can too easily become one of the bad guys.”

His hands fidgeted before he asked, “Like Master Luke’s niece?”

The mention of Jaina stung, but she did her best to ignore it and answered, “Yes.”

His little hands clenched into fists and he looked up at her again. The resolve from before had returned to his eyes.

“Okay, Rey,” he said. “I’ll go to the academy to learn how to protect people.”

She smiled at him and left a kiss on his forehead. “That’s better. Don’t ever lose sight of that. Protect and defend. Never attack.”

He smiled back and leaned forward to hug her again. She saw Murna move out of the corner of her eye, and she turned to see Murna dabbing at her tear-filled eyes with a tissue.

“Murna?” Rey said. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “Nothing at all, my dear. You just sounded exactly like Lor San just now. He’d be proud of you.”

Rey smiled again, brighter this time, and hugged Jaben just a little tighter.

The moment was interrupted when Rey’s communicator started beeping loudly, and she had to push Jaben back. She saw the call was coming from Luke, so she answered it quickly.  
  
”Luke?” she said. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing yet,” he answered. “But would you mind coming over to my house? I’ll explain more when you get here.”

She didn’t want to leave Jaben yet, but nor was she about to refuse Luke at a time like this.

“All right,” she said. “I’ll be there soon.”

Luke hung up without saying goodbye, but she wasn’t offended. He was allowed to ignore common manners right now.

She reached into her pocket to feel around for the stuffed cat before she drew it out and held it out toward Jaben.

She pressed it into his hand and said, “This cat is really important. It was one of the things that helped me get away from the bad guys. Do you think you can hold onto it for me?”

He clasped it between both of his hands. “How did a fake cat help you get away from the bad guys?”

She wanted to answer him, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him the truth yet. It was too morbid and too painful.

“I’ll tell you about it one day,” she promised. “But for right now, can you promise to take good care of it?”

He hugged it to his chest. “I promise. I’ll never let anything happen to it.”

She smiled and wrapped her arm around him one more time before leaving another kiss on his cheek.

“I’ll hold you to it.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, everyone. These chapters have been coming out at supersonic speed because I had all of them heavily planned out. Unfortunately, I only have a broad idea of where I want to go from here. So I'm afraid the updates are gonna come A LOT slower until I can get the inspiration I need to connect the dots. The struggles of a writer.

Rey couldn’t say that she was particularly crazy about the idea of going to Luke’s house. This day had already been draining, and she knew Luke probably wanted to talk to her about their next move. She wasn’t sure she was up for it, but she went regardless. Poe was behind her when she opened Luke’s door, and it was a good thing he was because the sight within very nearly made her fall over from shock.

Ben and Luke were both sitting cross-legged on two of those circular ottomans, but to Luke’s left were four slightly blue-toned, ghostly figures wearing Jedi robes. She felt Poe’s hands tighten on her shoulders.

“Hey,” he said. “You okay? What’s going on?”

Poe couldn’t see them. Of course, he couldn’t. He wasn’t even Force-sensitive, much less trained in the Force. She cleared her throat and glanced back at him.

“I’m fine,” she answered, “but if you’re sticking around, I’m afraid you’re only gonna be hearing half of the conversation.”

Luke climbed off of his ottoman and approached, holding his arm out toward the four figures.

“Rey,” he said. “Thank you for coming. I’ve been communing with my father and the Masters in order to try to figure out Jemma’s true identity.”

He then went down the line, starting with the closest man, who had a brown beard, long brown hair, and stood with his hands clasped behind his back. He was Master Qui-Gon Jin. Next in line was a short green creature with pointed ears and a wrinkled face. He held a cane and sat with his legs crossed. Master Yoda.

The next man had white hair with a matching white beard, and when she met his eyes he gave her a gentle smile. Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. And the last in line, he had a much more serious expression, a full head of brown hair, and he wore darker robes. Rey had to do a double-take when Luke introduced him as Anakin Skywalker because he looked decades younger than Luke.

The serious look on Anakin’s face turned into a smile and he said, “We can choose how we appear to the living. I choose to appear as I did before I fell.”

She was far too blown away to question him, so she just moved toward an empty third ottoman while Poe stepped back to the door.

“All right, yeah,” Poe said. “I think I’ll just wait in the car.”

Despite the day she’d had, she found a laugh escaping her and she said, “All right. I’ll update you afterward.”

The door closed behind him, and she got into a comfortable position on the ottoman. She had a feeling she was going to be here for a while.

After Luke was back on his own ottoman, he looked at Rey and said, “Now, you were the one who figured out Jemma was the traitor and you were the first to confront her. Did she tell you anything about herself that might give us a clue as to who she is?”

She remembered almost every conversation she’d ever had with Jemma, but two things stood out in her mind: the conversation about her son and her assertion she’d been used as a broodmare for her former master who hadn’t found her worthy. So she told him about those things. Everyone present listened intently, but even after she was finished, none of them looked like they were any more the wiser about Jemma’s identity.

Luke folded his hands in his lap. “It seems I have more research to do.”

Master Obi-Wan was the next to speak and said, “If you haven’t found any mention of her in your research thus far, Luke, I doubt there is any information to be found.”

Rey didn’t like the sound of that. Jemma was already a terrifying enough enemy. Going against her with absolutely no information would not be ideal.

_Perhaps I can be of assistance?_

Rey raised her eyes to look around. “Master?”

Her gaze was drawn to the sight of a figure slowly forming between Ben and Luke. When it fully formed, she saw that he had a balding head with white hair in the back and a clean-shaven, wrinkled pale face. She couldn’t remember his appearance, but she knew it was Master Tekka.

Luke and Ben both looked at him, too, and Luke said, “Master Tekka. It’s good to finally meet you.”

Master Tekka bowed his head slightly. “Likewise, but there is no need for you to call me ‘Master.’ Rey has always called me that as a sign of respect, but I never earned the rank.”

Yoda spoke up and said, “I should think not. Knew your father I did, Tekka. Expelled from the Jedi Order he was, for dancing too close to the Dark Side.”

Rey was shocked by this revelation, but Master Tekka didn’t look even remotely fazed by it.

He crossed his arms and replied, “What your council called ‘dancing too close to the Dark Side’ my father called ‘important research.’ He didn’t agree with the Jedi Council’s insistence on keeping Jedi in the dark about the inner workings and history of the Sith. He believed in order to best combat an enemy, you had to understand them.”

Yoda released a light grunt. “Such research, lead you quickly down the path of the Dark Side, it can.”

A slight grin formed on Tekka’s face before he motioned toward Anakin. “That may be so, Master Yoda, but consider the fall of Anakin Skywalker. Had the Jedi Council properly educated the lad on the inner workings of the Sith, he might have been able to recognize he was being manipulated by Darth Sidious.”

Yoda’s wrinkled brow furrowed and when Rey glanced in Anakin’s direction, he looked more agreeable than annoyed at his mention.

Yoda sighed and said, “Wisdom there is in what you say, Tekka. What information have you?”

Master Tekka’s expression turned more serious before he said, “While my father was banished, he still kept a close eye on everything that was happening both with the Sith and the Jedi right up until Order 66 was executed and he was forced into hiding. He even suspected Sheev Palpatine was Darth Sidious, but, after his banishment, he was not allowed to bring his suspicions before the Jedi Council.”

Master Obi-Wan hummed and said, “The council likely would not have believed him even if he had been granted an audience. Master Windu was far from the only Master who had hubris enough to believe the Council could not be tricked in such a way.”

Rey noticed Yoda nod out of the corner of her eye, and Master Tekka’s eyes brightened a bit.

“Too few are willing to own up to their mistakes, Master Obi-Wan,” Master Tekka praised. “But fortunately for us, my father managed to uncover a great deal about Sidious’ history before he ‘vanished’ and reappeared as Sheev Palpatine.”

Master Tekka took a step closer to the center of the room and began, “It all started with a Sith Lord named Darth Tenebrous. Tenebrous was very much like most Sith before him. He desired both great power and immortality. He would discover the latter through his decades of research in the Force, and he planned to achieve the former by keeping himself alive until the foreseen Chosen One was born.”

Rey saw Anakin perk up, and he slid his arms into his sleeves. “You mean he planned to somehow gain control of my body?”

Master Tekka nodded. “That was precisely his plan. Tenebrous’ ‘immortality’… I suppose you could almost call it a bastardization of what we are doing right now. Except instead of lingering as a ghost-like being, Tenebrous learned how to transfer himself into the bodies of others, whether they were willing or not. And he could bring his own Force power with him, so if he’d added his own power to yours, you can imagine the havoc he could have caused across the galaxy.”

Ben broke his own silence and said, “But he obviously didn’t, so what stopped him?”

Tekka glanced at Ben when he answered, “I’m not certain, but I don’t know that what became of him is even relevant. What is relevant is his female apprentice. Father never found a mention of her name, but she was to be Tenebrous’ new host until he realized she wasn’t strong enough with the Force. So he made sure she became pregnant by the correct man and gave birth to a child much more powerful than she was. That child would go on to be called Darth Plagueis the Wise.”

Anakin’s arms dropped to his sides. “Darth Plagueis the Wise?”

Master Tekka nodded and Anakin’s eyes fell to the floor.

“Darth Sidious spoke of him,” Anakin said, “when he was first trying to turn me to the Dark Side.”

“I’m not surprised," Master Tekka responded, "since Sidious was Plagueis’ apprentice… and his murderer.”

Rey’s eyes bugged. “Murderer?”

Master Tekka nodded again.

“Then, that story Jemma told about her son,” Rey said. “That was true? She’s Darth Tenebrous’ apprentice?”

“That is my theory,” he answered. “Even if Tenebrous didn’t think her to be a worthy host, it’s entirely possible she learned his body-hopping ability simply by aiding with his research. With such an ability, she could easily have kept herself alive for this long. And if she still maintains her Master’s will, she will stop at nothing until the Sith rule the galaxy again.”

The room went completely silent for a few moments, and Rey saw every other person in the room, apart from Master Tekka, become lost in their own thoughts. She wasn’t surprised. He’d just dropped a lot of information on them, and she had to admit even her head was spinning from it.

The silence was eventually broken by Luke asking, “So there is something in that cave on Bal’demnic that will help her accomplish that?”

Master Tekka looked mildly concerned when he answered, “That I’m not sure about. There was only a single mention of Bal’demnic in my father’s research. Evidently, Plagueis and Tenebrous went on some sort of mission there, but that was all Father was able to find out.”

Then his expression shifted as if he’d had a sudden realization. “Come to think of it, that mission on Bal’demnic was the last mention of Tenebrous in all of my father’s research.”

Another short silence fell over the room, but it didn’t last near as long, and Ben was the one to break it.

“What if it’s Tenebrous?”

Every pair of eyes in the room fell on him, but it was Luke who said, “What do you mean, Ben?”

Ben wound his fingers together and clarified, “Master Tekka said that Darth Tenebrous was able to remove his ‘spirit’ from his body and transfer it into other people. What if he died in that cave, tried to take over Darth Plagueis’ body, and failed somehow. Is it possible that he could still be stuck at his own corpse all of these years later?”

Rey knew she was able to sense feelings now, but the wave of harsh discomfort that flowed through the room after that made her hair stand on end.

Master Yoda shifted his position slightly and said, “Bring back Darth Tenebrous she will, when she reaches this cave. Easily become his host now, she could. After so many years in isolation, less picky will he be, I am certain.”

A conversation she’d had with Jemma popped into Rey’s mind and she felt the need to say, “No… I don’t think she will. At least, not the way we’re all thinking.”

Everyone turned to her, looking intrigued. She cleared her throat and went on, “What I mean is, I spoke to Jemma recently and she told me that she ‘didn’t think of herself enough.’ It’s possible she was just blowing smoke, but she _did_ tell me the truth about her son. And if she truly plans on being more selfish from now on, I don’t think she’ll let Tenebrous take over if she can avoid it.”

Anakin spoke up again and asked, “But would she be able to keep control of her body while also obtaining Tenebrous’ power?”

Rey shrugged. “I don’t know. If anyone can figure out how it would be her.”

Yoda nodded. “Agree, I do. And with such power, just as dangerous as Darth Tenebrous would she be. Perhaps more so. Survived the centuries with her wits, she did, not power.”

Master Obi-Wan cut in. “And after Palpatine, we’ve seen the results of mixing great power with such fierce intelligence. If she is allowed to have her way, she would likely have little trouble raising another Empire.”

The thought made Rey’s veins turn to ice. Never. She would never let it happen. She’d just rescued Jaben from slavery. She wasn’t about to let him be enslaved again by the First Order’s new empire.

“Then we should waste no time,” Luke said sternly. “We will have to increase our efforts in training our remaining students in order to prepare them for what they may face.”

After Jaben had just asked to join the academy, she wasn’t sure she liked hearing that, but she also knew Luke was right. It was necessary, no matter how much it might bother her.

“Rey, just training with me will no longer be enough,” Luke told her. “You should also train under one of the Masters.”

Her eyes naturally made their way to Master Tekka, but he grinned and shook his head.

“No, Rey,” he said. “Remember, I was never truly a Master. I learned only what my father was able to teach me before he died, and I’ve already taught you all of that. There’s little more you can learn from me, but I will be here if you ever need counsel, at least until the First Order is stopped.”

She couldn’t deny being a bit disappointed, but she didn’t argue. She turned to Luke, hoping he would have some advice on who should teach her. Even if they were all Masters, she didn’t truly know them.

Master Qui-Gon, who Rey noted hadn’t spoken even once so far, stepped forward and glanced in Luke’s direction.

“If you have no objections, Luke,” he said, “I would be happy to aid with Rey’s training. I sense a familiar presence in her.”

She hadn’t expected any of the Masters to request her, so she was momentarily stunned. And what did he mean by ‘familiar?’ She decided against asking him about it at this moment. She was certain he would elaborate later.

After Ben chose to train under Master Yoda, Luke climbed off of his ottoman.

“We’ll each have arms ready for us by tomorrow, Rey,” Luke said. “So be sure you’re ready. Training starts after your arm is attached.”

Rey swallowed heavily at the prospect and said, “Luke, come on. No one is gonna be able to focus on training right now. Han and the others _just_ died. Give it more than a day, at least.”

A regretful look flashed over Luke’s face when he answered, “I’m sorry, Rey. I want to be understanding, but there isn’t time for sensitivity.”

Master Yoda released a quiet laugh and shook his head. “Counseled the young Rey in patience very recently you did, my old Padawan. Forgotten your own advice already, have you?”

“Master Yoda is right,” Master Obi-Wan interjected. “Even should Jemma gain the power of Darth Tenebrous, they will not raise the Empire overnight. Take the time to let your students mourn so that they will be ready when they are needed.”

Luke still appeared to be hesitant as his eyes made their way to Anakin. A small grin curled on Anakin’s lips and he nodded at Luke. Luke smiled back at him before glancing at both Rey and Ben.

“You will have a week,” he said. “Rest well. And in the meantime, I will work with Leia to come up with a plan.”

“Yes, Father,” Ben answered. “But please don’t work yourself to death or you’ll be in no shape to train anyone once this week is up.”

Luke placed a hand on Ben’s shoulder and grinned at him. Rey took that as her cue to leave and climbed off of the ottoman. She said her goodbyes and headed for the door.

She and Poe were certainly going to have a lot to talk about.

*****

After updating Poe on the situation, which took far longer than she thought it would, she made herself ask him if she could spend the next week at his house. He agreed so enthusiastically it made her cheeks burn, and he started driving immediately toward the academy so she could gather some clothes and the flower he’d bought for her.

As soon as she stepped inside, she found it was almost as quiet as it had been when she stopped by earlier today. The soft sounds of crying were coming from every direction, and it gave her a stark reminder. Farren. She hadn’t been able to actually talk to her yet.

She went straight to Farren’s door and right as she was about to knock, she started hearing loud banging, followed immediately by several things shattering. Her heart raced as she opened the door right away, afraid for Farren’s safety. When she saw her, tears welled in her eye. Farren was standing in the middle of her bedroom, holding the leg of a chair and smashing several picture frames as well as glass figurines that she’d thrown in a pile.

When Farren raised the leg again, Rey stepped up and grabbed it to stop her. Farren peeked over her shoulder and started struggling to get out of Rey’s grip, but Rey yanked the leg away and tossed it aside. Farren’s face was so soaked with tears that it shone under the dim light of the room.

Without another thought, Rey made her turn around and hugged her so tightly she momentarily feared Farren wouldn’t be able to breathe. But Farren just held on just as tightly, and sobbed into Rey’s shoulder, soaking her robes. It was difficult, but Rey didn’t let herself make a sound even as she was crying, as well. Farren needed her to be strong for her, and that’s what she would be.

It was only then that Rey noticed that all of the picture frames Farren had been smashing were photos of her and Dia, and she could only assume the figurines were gifts Dia had given her in the past. All of that time, never knowing she was living a lie. She couldn’t even imagine how Farren felt right now.

It took several more agonizing seconds, but Farren eventually pulled back and started cleaning her face with her sleeve. Her hands were shaking wildly, but she still managed to sign.

_I don’t know what to do, Rey. I… I was ready to marry her, and now… How am I supposed to move on from this?_

She wanted to give her an answer, but nothing she came up with sounded even remotely helpful. That fact was hurting her almost as much as Farren’s tears. What good was she if she couldn’t even help her best friend?

Rey’s eyes fell to the floor and she said, “I’d give anything to be able to answer that for you.”

Farren sniffed and shook her head before signing again.

_No. It’s okay. There’s no way anyone could answer it. It’s enough that you stopped by. I was afraid you wouldn’t after what Eva said._

Rey attempted a smile and cupped Farren’s face. “I was an easy target, that’s all. And she’s allowed to yell at me at least once under these circumstances.”

Farren reached up to take hold of Rey’s wrists before gently tugging them away so that she would have room to sign.

_Well, regardless, I think _I’d_ better be the one to check on her. She’ll probably slam the door in your face if you try._

Rey pushed out a short laugh. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Farren turned to look back at the mess she made and sighed. Rey knew she was planning on cleaning it up before she went to see Eva, but she didn’t need to be worrying about that right now.

Rey put a hand on her shoulder and said, “Go see Eva. I’ll clean this up.”

She saw Farren about to sign an argument, but she caught both of her wrists before she could.

"Stop,” Rey said. “I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure this is what friends are for.”

Farren still looked like she wanted to resist, but she just nodded. After Rey released her wrists she signed a quick thank you before heading out of the door. And as Rey was picking up the mess, she thought that it was really for the best. Despite the speech barriers, she was sure Farren would be able to help Eva a lot better than she would.

Once the room was presentable, she went to her room to grab the few things she needed and headed back out to the car. When she sat in the passenger’s seat, she saw Poe was smirking at her.

“You enjoy making me wait, don’t you?”

She smiled and snuggled up next to him. “Sorry.”

He wrapped an arm around her and asked, “How’s she doing?”

“How do you think?”

He sighed and started the car. “Yeah…”

He drove them back to his house quickly, and Rey was more than relieved when she stepped inside. Despite the reasons being horrible, it was going to be nice to have a whole week of not having to worry about anything besides being here with him. After dropping off her things, she went to the bedroom and collapsed on the bed, covering her eyes with the back of her hand.

She heard him step into the room before the bed shifted from his weight. She took her hand away from her eyes and started to roll onto her side, only to release a surprised gasp when he pulled her against him with an arm around her waist. She was hardly bothered and settled right in. That conversation in Luke’s house had worn her out far more than she thought it would.

He pressed his lips into her forehead before he asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Apart from the obvious?”

His other hand ran through her hair. “Yeah, apart from that.”

She sighed heavily and took a moment to bury her face in his chest, just because she could; because_ he_ was still here.

“It’s just, so many people died,” she said. “Everyone lost someone… everyone but me.”

He tightened his grip on her a little. “Is this about what Eva said earlier?”

She’d made light of it while she was talking to Farren, but doing that now was pointless, so she nodded.

“I’m happy,” she said with a slight sob in her voice. “And I know I shouldn’t be, right now. So many people are in so much pain, and I’m just… so damn happy that you’re okay.”

He slid his hand down to take her by her chin and make her raise her head.

“Who says you shouldn’t be?” he asked. “Rey, I found you lying on the ground without an arm and looking like a corpse. Do you really think I wasn’t happy when I found out you were gonna be okay?”

She didn’t answer. She didn’t know what to say.

“We got lucky,” he said. “I know a lot of other people didn’t, but we don’t help them by making ourselves just as miserable as they are right now. We help them by stopping Jemma and the First Order.”

He let his hand rest against her cheek and pressed his forehead against hers.

“And I don’t know about you,” he said with fire in his voice, “but I’ve never been more motivated.”

She looked up and met his confident eyes as he pulled his head back slightly. He brought a smile back to her face the way he always did, and she moved in to hug him again. He was right like he always was. Rey had all of the motivation she would ever need because if Jemma managed to raise another Empire, she and Poe might not get so lucky a second time. The thought made her feel like crying again, but she forced it down.

No more tears today, Rey. You’ve cried enough.

“All right, let me up,” he said, tapping her on the shoulder. “I’m gonna cook something before I starve.”

She was hungry, too, but she only tightened her grip on him as he tried to get up. Her heart was pounding so hard it was painful, and she knew her voice was gonna shake, but she had the nerve right now, so she decided she may as well use it.

“I love you.”

He froze, much like he had the first time she kissed him, and it was equally as charming now as it was then.

“All right,” he said with a laugh in his voice. “You caught me off guard, there.”

She shrugged. “Someone’s gotta keep you on your toes.”

He let out another laugh and pulled her against him again. He stayed quiet for a few more seconds, but she didn’t need him to say anything. She never would again. His feelings were just as clear as Luke’s had been.

“I love you, too, Rey.”

She smiled before leaving a kiss on his cheek. “Yeah, I know.”


	19. Chapter 19

What remained of her arm was burning as the droid attached the metal prosthetic. Jemma had known Rey was strong-willed. Phasma had made that very clear. But she never thought Rey would have the strength to withstand that trap she’d put in her eye, much less the ability to keep her hand steady enough to deactivate it. She’d obviously underestimated Rey, a mistake she would not make a second time.

The First Order’s medical droids were not as advanced as the ones from the Republic, but it hardly mattered. This pain was inconsequential as long as the new arm functioned. She heard heavy footsteps approaching from the hallway right outside of the medical wing, and she knew it could only be Phasma.

She found she was right when Phasma stepped into the room with a worried look on her sweat-covered face. She held her silver helmet down at her side as she approached the bed, her blonde hair not moving since the sweat had glued it to her forehead.

“Mother!” Phasma said frantically. “Are you all right?”

_Mother_. Jemma remembered a time when one of her children called her that and she actually felt something, but not anymore. None of them had been able to fill the void he’d left, and Phasma was no exception.

“I’m fine, Phasma,” Jemma answered. “It’s just an arm. Trivial in the grand scheme of things.”

She winced at the jolt of the arm being connected, and once the droid backed away, she raised the arm to test it. There was no skin, only black metal, but she was hardly concerned about appearances, only functionality. The fingers moved properly, so that was good enough. She climbed off of the bed, and when she wobbled slightly, Phasma was quick enough to take her normal arm to steady her.

“It’s not trivial, Mother,” Phasma said sternly. “And RA-2187 will pay.”

Jemma threw on the same fake smile she always used when speaking to Phasma. She wasn’t sure she remembered what a real smile was anymore.

“Don’t waste any of your focus on revenge, my love,” Jemma told her. “You will have your chance to face RA-2187 again. For now, we need to move on with the next step of the plan.”

Phasma nodded and went with her as she headed toward the conference room. Dia and Kylo Ren were supposed to already be waiting there for her.

“The ship is already en route to Bal’demnic,” Phasma said. “We should arrive within the next two hours.”

“Very good,” Jemma responded. “Once I am finished there, you will set a course for Coruscant. The General was unwise to insist that the seat of the Republic be moved to her mother’s home planet. So far away on Naboo, she will have little chance of discovering what I mean to do.”

Phasma glanced at her and asked, “And what do you plan to do?”

Jemma smirked. “Replenish our lost forces and add more. You may continue your raids of small, rural villages, of course, but after I’m finished, that will no longer be our only means of obtaining soldiers.”

Phasma’s grip on her arm tightened. “We’re so close to achieving your goals, Mother. I can scarcely believe it.”

The naive adoration in her voice made Jemma sick, but she had long since learned not to let it show. Phasma was weak, just like all of the others. It seemed she would never again have child as strong as _he_ was.

My boy. Don’t worry. The Sith will rule again, and it will be without the aid of that bastard Sidious.

They made it to the conference room, and both Dia and Kylo Ren were waiting there, as instructed. Ren stood beside the table, her helmet sitting nearby, and Dia sat leaned back in one of the chairs with her feet propped on the table. Jemma flashed her an irritated glare.

“Put your feet down, Dia,” she snapped. “This is a conference room, not your personal bedchamber.”

Dia scoffed and lowered her feet. “As if I have a personal bedchamber on this pile of junk.”

Jemma rolled her eyes and approached the head of the table. “Phasma will see to it that you have a room of your own before the end of the day. You’ve earned it, just as you’ve both earned your Sith names. Would you have me name you or choose your own?”

She looked back and forth between both of her apprentices, and while Dia looked nonchalant, Ren’s expression was serious.

“I would keep the name Kylo Ren, Master” Ren said. “I believe it suits me better than any other name ever could.”

Jemma had had an inkling she might say that and simply responded, “As you wish. And what about you, Dia?”

Dia shrugged. “You can pick it. That’s how this is supposed to work, right? The Master names the apprentice?”

Jemma was pleased when she answered, “Indeed. Then cast off your birth name, my young apprentice, and rise as Darth Janus.”

Something akin to pride flashed across her face as Darth Janus got to her feet and saluted. Jemma gave her an acknowledging nod before taking a seat in her chair, and they both followed suit.

Kylo Ren turned to her and asked, “What about you, Master? Will you not take a name?”

Jemma grinned. “Soon. I would take what is mine, first. But before that, I must leave you both with a single order.”

Darth Janus and Kylo Ren both sat at attention, and while she knew they weren’t going to like this order, it had to be given.

“I don’t intend to let my former Master take my mind,” she explained. “I will speak to Darth Tenebrous, and I will make him believe that you two will strike me down should he take control away from me.”

On top of Phasma’s utterly devastated expression, Jemma saw Kylo Ren’s eyes widened.

“Strike you down?” Ren repeated. “Master, surely you don’t mean-”

“Yes, Kylo Ren, I do,” Jemma interrupted. “You must be prepared to do it, and you must not have any doubts. If you do, Darth Tenebrous will sense it, and he will take my mind. After how he used me, do you want such a man as your new Master?”

Ren shook her head. “No.”

“Then you will do as I say, both of you,” Jemma ordered. “Think of how miserable he would make your lives if you were forced to serve him. That should be more than sufficient to erase any and all doubts.”

She looked at both of them, and she saw them both nod. And that was enough. She’d trained them well. They would not fail her.

*****

The cave was cold, damp, and smelled just as musty as Jemma had expected it to. What she hadn’t expected was how little space remained within it. Decades worth of cave-ins had left the cave little more than a hole in the side of a mountain, but she knew as soon as she set foot inside of it that her former Master was near. There was no way she could ever forget what his presence felt like.

“Stand by my apprentices,” she said. “I will meditate for a time. Just be ready.”

“Yes, my Master,” Kylo Ren responded.

Darth Janus didn’t offer a verbal response and simply nodded, but that was good enough. Jemma sat cross-legged on the floor of the folded her hands in her lap before closing her eyes and blowing out a slow breath. She honed her concentration, focusing solely on the feeling of her old Master’s presence. It was just as oppressive as she remembered it being, but she would never be held back by him again. She would show him how wrong he was to think her unworthy.

It took a few more seconds, but she felt a strong wave of Force energy crash into her. Despite knowing it was him, she felt exhilarated by the amount of power.

_Who’s there?_

She recognized his voice, even all of these years later.

‘_I’ve changed my name many times over the years, my old Master, but you knew me as Eris_.’

_Eris? You still live? Impossible._

‘_The centuries have not changed you, I see_,’ she said. ‘_You took one look at my Force power and decided I was too inept to be anything but a broodmare. It never once occurred to you that I might have been studying your research and learning.’_

He didn’t answer, not that she’d expected him to. As long as she’d known him, he had never once admitted he was wrong about anything.

‘_Fortunately for you, I hold no grudge_,’ she told him. ‘_So I will save you from this perpetual isolation, but on my terms, not yours_.’

_Hmm. The centuries have certainly changed _you_, Eris. They’ve made you arrogant. Did you truly think I would be desperate enough to take your body?_

He was bluffing. It couldn’t have been more obvious. Decades in isolation had dulled his ability to disguise his emotions.

‘_Do _you_ truly think I came here with the intention of handing myself over to you_?’ she answered. ‘_No, my old Master. If you wish to be free of this cave, you _will_ inhabit my body, but you will hold no control over me. The days of you giving the orders are over_.’

He scoffed. _You want the impossible. _

She chuckled and rebutted, ‘_Do dispense with the pretense. I have taken far more bodies than you ever did. I know that you can inhabit my body, give me your power, and still keep your mind separate from mine_.’

He remained silent, but she could feel his frustration as if it were coming from her own mind.

_But you’re forgetting one thing, my old apprentice. You have no control once I’m inside. I could take your mind whenever I desired. What’s to stop me from taking control as soon as I’m in your body?_

She motioned behind her. ‘_They will_.’

She couldn’t see him, but she knew he could see both Kylo Ren and Darth Janus.

‘_Neither of them wish to be led by you_,’ she said spitefully. ‘_They are under orders to strike me down immediately should you get any bright ideas_.’

He released an arrogant chuckle_. And what if I should decide to take one of them after they kill you? How would they stop me?_

‘_They couldn’t stop you,_’ she answered_, _‘_but why would you want either of them when the children of The Chosen One are well within our grasp_?’

The pause was short, but within it she felt his excitement. This was the third time she’d been able to easily feel his emotions. She could scarcely believe this was the man who had taught her to hide hers.

_The Chosen One has children?_

She nodded. ‘_And his son surpassed him decades ago_.’

His ambitions. They’d been his greatest weakness in life, and it seemed they were going to be his greatest weakness after death, as well. For his excitement only grew, and she was surprised at how easily he was letting himself be manipulated.

Or was he?

_Very well, my old apprentice. We’ll do it your way. _

She held her arms out to the side, inviting him in, just as she’d planned to. She felt the heavy pressure of him moving through her, into her. His very essence flowed through her veins as sure as her blood did, and she felt the Force far more completely than she ever had before. This was it. This was how she was meant to feel. The feeling had always been denied her by her natural weakness in the Force, but now that she’d felt it, she was determined to never lose it.

So when she felt the pain of her old Master trying to close his hands around her mind, she shot to her feet. She’d suspected he was trying to outwit her when he didn’t disguise his emotions, but it was clear after how easily he’d agreed to her terms, too easily. It was unfortunate that she would be unable to draw from his knowledge, but she’d survived this long without it. And with his power, she would do far more than survive.

She’d crushed the mind of every person whose body she’d stolen. It was no more difficult than crushing a grape between her fingers. So as her old Master tried to steal her mind, she put everything in place to crush his.

He released a pained grunt. _My old apprentice. Perhaps I misjudged you._

She felt something close to the fondness she used to feel for him, but it was by no means enough to stay her hand.

‘_You did, my old Master_,’ she said calmly. ‘_The most costly mistake of your entire life_.’

She tightened the vice-grip around his mind and as she felt it begin to crack, his voice echoed with a simple sentence.

_I name you Darth Vellian._

And then he was silent, as he should have been, as he would always be. She opened her eyes, and she felt a rush of adrenaline when she found several large stones had lifted off of the ground and were floating around her. She would have struggled to pick even one of these up before, and now…

She turned to both of her apprentices, and when she stepped forward, both of them dropped to one knee. She held her hands out to rest on the back of both of their heads.

“I must apologize to you both, my young apprentices,” she said. “I was never truly in any danger of Darth Tenebrous taking my mind.”

When she pulled her hands away, Kylo Ren was the first to raise her head and said, “You knew how to destroy him and keep his power all along?”

“I did,” she answered. “But I needed him to believe I didn’t so that he would become arrogant and lower his guard. Consider this another lesson that I will teach you. Don’t be too proud to let your enemy believe you are weaker than you are. My old Master continued to underestimate me until the bitter end, and it cost him.”

They both lowered their heads again, and this time Darth Janus spoke, “Yes, my Master.”

“Rise, Kylo Ren, Darth Janus,” she said. “Your Master will henceforth be called Darth Vellian.”

*****

Landing one of their transports on Coruscant without being seen was easier than it had ever been. With her old Master’s Force power, Darth Vellian was able to work together with Kylo Ren, Darth Janus, and the Knights of Ren to avoid any and all Republic officials who were stationed in the city. And once they were on the ground, moving without drawing attention was as easy as slipping into the crowd.

She remembered the location of the old Jedi Temple well. She’d attempted to infiltrate it on more than one occasion after stealing the body of a small child. She knew at the time that if anyone would have the last known location of Darth Tenebrous, it would be the Jedi. It was funny to think of it now.

But she also knew of one more thing that was hidden underneath that temple: a gift created by Darth Sidious himself. She only had to gain access to it. After they made it to the exact location where the building used to stand, she looked on in disgust at a memorial plaque that had been erected to replace the statue of Sidious which had sat in that spot for years after his Empire took over. Honoring all of the Jedi who had died in the temple. Worthless.

Behind the plaque was another statue, this one of five young Jedi posing in various ways with their pathetic lightsabers. If only she could destroy it and the plaque without drawing attention to herself and her followers.

She ordered her followers to stand guard as she looked down at the concrete squares that made up the ground beneath her feet. She began to count carefully. If she didn’t, she would press the wrong square. Her counting led her to a square that was directly behind the gaudy statue. That would prove useful.

“Knights of Ren, to me,” she said quietly. “You, as well, my apprentices.”

They all came when called, and once they were all close enough for her to whisper she went on, “You must keep me obscured so that no one in the crowd around us sees what I am going to do. We cannot allow the Republic to know of this.”

All of them nodded, and she was impressed when they fell into the act of pretending to be tourists, even going so far as to draw holocrons from their pockets to record their surroundings. They stood in a natural-looking half-circle, obscuring her completely.

She placed her foot on the proper square and tapped her foot on it the proper number of times and at the correct beat. As she knew they would, several of the other tiles around her feet began to silently shift and move to the side. When the ladder was revealed to her, it was clear that no one had used it in decades because it was rusted and falling completely apart. But she didn’t need a ladder.

She called for Kylo Ren and Darth Janus before she leaped into the revealed entrance and landed on her feet in front of a short hallway with a door at the end. She heard her apprentices land behind her as she walked up to the door and held her hand out toward the sensor to the right of it. After she swiped the correct shape, the red light above the door turned green and it slid open.

There it was, exactly as Sidious always said: the beacon. The console on the front of it was still alive, powered by Kyber crystals. She would never forgive Sidious, but he was perhaps one of the only Sith she saw as an equal. She could only imagine what they could have accomplished had he ever seen her the same way.

She activated the console, and while she quickly found a pre-recorded message left there by Darth Sidious, she quickly erased it. This was not to be his Empire, but hers, so the message would be hers as well. As soon as she knew the beacon was sending out the signal, she began her message.

“I am Darth Vellian, Supreme Leader of the First Order,” she began. “If you’re receiving this, then you were among Darth Sidious’ most loyal followers.”

Pride swelled in her chest as she went on, “Darth Sidious may be gone, but his legacy is not. The Sith are destined to rule the galaxy, and should you wish to see our Empire return to its former glory, find me where your Emperor died.”

She ended the message. If they were as loyal as Sidious always claimed, that short message would be more than enough to motivate them.

She blew out a breath, feeling completely relaxed for the first time in ages.

“Master?” Kylo Ren said. “Do you believe many will come?”

Darth Vellian smiled. “Yes, my young apprentice. I know they will.”


	20. Chapter 20

Rey received a call from Luke the next day asking her to meet him at the academy so they could both be fitted with their new arms. He also said that Jemma left behind her blueprints for the eye, so the engineers have created another one, minus the sabotage. Had someone not already taken the time to make the eye, she’d have refused it. She hardly needed it anymore, but she wasn’t about to let the hard work of the engineers go to waste.

After she and Poe ate breakfast, she left him with a kiss and a promise she’d be back later before heading to her sky car. She was thankful that the route to the academy wasn’t normally busy because flying the car with only one arm was infinitely more difficult. After she clumsily parked, she went straight through the front door. Breakfast was in progress, but when she passed by the cafeteria, the room was almost empty. She averted her eyes right away and continued on to the medical wing.

She found Luke already waiting inside along with two of the activated medical droids.

He looked up when she started walking into the room and said, “Good morning, Rey.”

She nodded a greeting before approaching the bed next to the one he was sitting on.

He was busy prepping his arm for the replacement prosthetic, so Rey decided she’d better do the same. As soon as she was finished removing the bandage around her stump, one of the medical droids rolled up to her, holding a silver tray with both the arm and the eye as well as a small container of lubricant. The eye was almost identical to the one she’d had before, but the arm was covered in fake skin the same shade of brown as hers, so it almost looked real.

She briefly remembered the horrible feeling of the eye connecting and felt a little bit of dread as the droid picked up the eye first and rolled it around in the lubricant. She blew out a breath and removed the bandage that had been covering her eye socket up to this point. As she’d expected, the attachment was just as unpleasant as it had been the last time, but she didn’t double over, so that was something.

The droid then asked her to lean back so it could work on attaching the arm, and Luke glanced over at her as he did the same.

“Attaching the arm won’t be anywhere near as uncomfortable,” he promised.

She could only hope he was right as the droid picked up a syringe. It injected her arm with something that quickly numbed the entire area before it got to work. She didn’t want to watch what it was doing, so she looked at Luke instead. She’d remembered this morning that she had something to talk to him about.

“Jaben said he wants to join the academy,” she told him. “I had to lecture him a little about discipline, but I think he’ll be all right.”

Luke hummed. “I’ll make sure there’s a room ready for him. Plenty available now, I suppose.”

He spoke that last sentence with an anguish that made Rey’s eye mist over. A question formed on her tongue, one that had been plaguing her all night. She remembered their first conversation very well and he’d asked her straight out if she’d ever seen Kylo Ren’s face. It had seemed such a meaningless thing then, but now…

“Did you know?” she asked. “About Jaina, I mean.”

He didn’t look at her when he answered, “After that night on Jakku, I suspected, but I wanted to believe I was wrong. Naive, I suppose, but I didn’t want to break my family’s hearts unless I had to.”

The beds were close enough together that she could reach his other hand, so she grasped it firmly. He momentarily glanced at her before he gripped back and gently ran his thumb over the back of her hand.

“I never thought I was a perfect teacher,” he said. “But I thought I’d at least taught them well enough to keep them from the Dark Side.”

She squeezed his hand once. “There’s no telling what sort of things Jemma was whispering in their ears.”

Luke shook his head. “And I was more than happy to let Ben, Jacen, and Jaina take over my duties. I told myself I’d earned it. But if I’d been there, teaching all of the students myself, I might have noticed what was going on before it was too late.”

As if his words hadn’t told her enough, she felt the intense guilt coming from him as he tightened his grip on her hand.

“Luke…”

He let go of her hand and pulled away. “Forgive me, Rey. These are my troubles, not yours.”

She snatched his hand back before he could pull it too far and said, “You’re my Master. Your troubles _are_ my troubles, and if you think I’m gonna sit here and let you rip yourself apart like this, you’re wrong.”

He glanced in her direction, but he didn’t answer, and the guilt he was feeling only grew.

“Luke,” she said. “I may not remember doing it, but I let the First Order lead me into an obvious trap. I let the guy I was in love with follow me, and I left my little brother behind in the hands of a man who scarred him as badly as he scarred me. And then, I dragged Poe right into _another_ trap, one that you had to rescue us from.”

She tugged at his arm to make him look at her, and she sternly asked, “How many times have you blamed me for any of that?”

It wasn’t by much, but the oppressive guilt that had been pushing down on him lessened. She squeezed his hand again and gave him a soft smile.

“Someone told me once, _you’re not a god_,” she said. “Last I checked, _you’re_ not either.”

His eyes lit up, if only a little, and a small grin curled on his lips. She then realized the droid had finished its work on him when he brought his other hand over to place over the top of hers.

“You get to be as old as me and you start forgetting that your students can teach you things, too.”

He patted the back of her hand twice before climbing off of the bed and taking a step closer to her. She was about to ask him what was going on when he leaned forward, placed a hand on the back of her head, and kissed her in the middle of her forehead. Her cheeks might have burned if she didn’t immediately feel the jolt of the new arm being attached. He was right. It wasn’t as bad as the eye attaching, but it still hurt like a son-of-a-bitch.

He laughed and said, “I’m off to see Leia. Hopefully, we’ll be able to come up with something akin to a plan before the end of the week.”

She raised her new arm to wave goodbye and found that it felt no different from her original arm. She curled the fingers a few times just to be sure, but it moved perfectly.

“By the way,” Luke said after he reached the doorway. “Stop by my house sometime tomorrow. I think you’re just about ready to put down those training sabers and learn to build your own.”

“Build my own? Really?”

He nodded. “But it won’t be a quick process. It can take up to three days. So make sure you’re ready for that.”

She was far too excited by the prospect of building her own lightsabers to be concerned about the time frame.

“All right,” she said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Luke gave a quick wave before he disappeared past the doorway. With her arm and eye finished, she figured she may as well get going, too. She would have to let Poe know that she wouldn’t be home much for the next few days.

On the way out of the academy, she saw someone she hadn’t expected to see walking out of the cafeteria. Her red hair was unkempt and her face paler than normal. She walked slowly and with a wobble to her step, making Rey think she hadn’t slept much at all since the funeral. Rey stepped up to her, not exactly sure what she was gonna say.

Eva noticed her and stopped in her tracks, a nervous expression coming over her exhausted face.

“Rey?”

Rey smiled gently at her. “Hey, Eva.”

Eva’s eyes averted again and her hands clenched into fists. Rey could feel her emotions shifting toward a mixture of guilt and embarrassment.

“At the funeral,” Eva said. “I never should have… I didn’t…”

She sighed, seemingly unable to say any more.

Rey took another step closer and said, “It’s okay. You don’t need to apologize.”

Eva shook her head. “I do. I need to apologize for a lot.”

“Eva, it’s-”

“Just shut up and listen, okay?” Eva interrupted.

She released a heavy breath and crossed her arms. “Before you came here, all I knew about Stormtroopers was that one of them shot my brother when the First Order raided our town. They’d have shot me, too, if Pierce hadn’t fought them off.”

At the mention of Pierce, she tensed up, but she impressed Rey when she kept it together.

“But Ben told me,” Eva said. “He told me everything.”

“Everything?”

“How they tricked you,” Eva explained. “The memory-wiping. The re-education. All of it.”

Rey wasn’t exactly bothered by Eva knowing about those things, but she couldn’t understand why Ben had gone out of his way to tell her. She’d certainly never asked him to.

“That’s what I was trying to deal with when you strolled into that damn closet,” Eva said. “Knowing the First Order’s Stormtroopers weren’t given a choice… it opened a lot of doors I didn’t want opened, and I’m sure you’ve noticed that I don’t deal with things well.”

Rey smiled a little when she remembered when Eva tried to hit her.

Eva cleared her throat awkwardly and said, “Anyway, the point is… I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did, and you deserve to hear me say it.”

Rey’s mouth hung open at that last statement, and she was forced to close it before she started fidgetting with her hands.

“Wow, I… Damn, Eva.”

Eva let out a short laugh. “I’m just as shocked as you are, believe me.”

Rey laughed, too, and with the laugh came a comfort she hadn’t expected to feel. She hadn’t thought it possible before, but maybe she and Eva _could_ be friends.

“I guess I need to apologize to Farren, too,” she said solemnly. “She didn’t even care that I was so awful to her before. She’s just…”

She looked away, the guilt from before returning to her face. Rey took another step closer and put a hand on Eva’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna be off making lightsabers with Luke for a few days,” Rey said. “But when I get done, I can teach you how to sign if you want.”

Eva’s head cocked slightly to the side. “You’re starting your lightsaber construction tomorrow, too? I thought it was just gonna be me and Farren.”

Luke hadn’t mentioned Eva or Farren, either. Not that it bothered her. If anything, having other students around would make her feel better.

“Well, I guess you’re gonna have some extra company,” Rey said with a smirk. “I’ll try not to show you up.”

Eva scoffed playfully. “I’d rather you try not to get your ass in a fire. I don’t want to have to pull you out again.”

Rey laughed again. Yes. They could _definitely_ be friends.

“Well,” Eva said with a sigh in her voice. “I guess I’d better go make that apology before I lose my nerve. I’ll see you tomorrow, Rey.”

“Bye, Eva.”

After a quick wave, Eva disappeared down the hallway that led to Farren’s room. As unexpected as it was, Rey had to admit to being glad that Eva and Farren were becoming friends, too. The betrayal had made it clear how precious real friends were.

Rey went to leave the academy, and as she was walking toward her sky car, she heard what sounded like loud thumping. It was coming from the direction of the spot where Ben had been practicing the first night she came here. She rounded the corner of the building and as she walked further along the wall, she eventually reached what appeared to be a small training area. She’d done all of her training with Luke, so she never even knew this place existed.

There were obstacles as well as training dummies, and she quickly found that the thumping was coming from one of those dummies being viciously beaten. Her eyes widened and she took a step closer, at first not believing he was well enough to be doing this.

“Jacen?”

After landing another punch to the dummy, he stopped. He was breathing very heavily, and upon closer inspection, she could see sweat dripping off of his hair. He turned to her, and she saw more sweat sliding down his face and neck in beads.

“Rey,” he replied. “You look a lot better than you did the last time I saw you.”

She took a few steps closer. “I wish I could say the same to you.”

He blew out a laugh through his nose. “Uncle Luke mentioned that you’re not one for mincing words.”

She remembered the conversation she had with Deacon and answered, “People seem to appreciate it when I don’t.”

He hummed and she saw him about to take a step when he wobbled and had to lean on the training dummy to keep from falling over. She was at his side in an instant, and she took his other arm.

“I’m fine,” he said, trying to pull his arm away.

She held fast and answered, “Like hell you are. Come on.”

She noticed the benches near the obstacle course when she first rounded the corner, so she ignored his further protests and led him over to them. Right as he sat on the bench, she heard his stomach growl, loudly.

She crossed her arms and asked, “How long has it been since you ate anything?”

He shrugged and kept his eyes averted. Stubborn. Just like every other Skywalker and Solo.

After a quick sigh, she said, “Don’t move. I’ll bring you some food.”

She could feel his irritation, but he didn’t argue, so she went inside to the cafeteria and made him up a plate of food as well as a glass of water. When she carried it all back outside, she was annoyed to see him hanging from one of the bars on the obstacle course, doing slow pull-ups. She put the food on the bench and walked up to him.

“Really?” she said with her hands on her hips.

“Look,” he said in between grunts. “I’m grateful that you woke me up, but that doesn’t mean you get to tell me what to do. I don’t know you, and you don’t know me.”

“I know you’re gonna pass out if you keep this up,” she rebutted. “At least eat something and drink some water.”

“I told you,” he said, his face going slightly red, “that I’m _fine_.”

Nevermind. The_ most_ stubborn out of the Skywalkers and Solos. His arms were trembling, and it was clear how close he was to falling down, but he just kept going. She had to get him to eat before she was forced to drag him back to the hospital.

Then it came to her. She looked up at him and said, “Luke tells me that you’re a dual-wielder.”

“Yeah,” he answered. “And?”

“I am, too,” she told him. “Eat something and I’ll spar with you for as long as you want.”

He hung straight down and looked at her. “As long as I want? You sure about that?”

She had a smirk on her face when she shrugged and said, “Unless you think you’re not up for it.”

He let go of the bar and turned to look at her when he touched the ground. The irritation from before was gone from his expression.

“I guess there was a reason Uncle Luke told me I’m supposed to start training with you.”

She cocked her head to the side. “He didn’t say anything about that to me.”

He motioned for her to follow and as they were walking to the bench, he said, “He was probably gonna tell you tomorrow. I have to go with you guys to make another lightsaber.”

They both sat down and she asked, “Why’s that?”

He picked up the plate and put it in his lap before answering, “Because Jaina stole mine when she… well, you already know.”

She felt the sorrow start radiating off of him and immediately regretted asking the question. Luke had mentioned to Rey that Sith lightsabers were created by corrupting a Jedi’s lightsaber, but it had never crossed Rey’s mind that Jaina’s was originally Jacen’s. She was scrambling her brain to think of something else to talk about when Jacen broke the silence himself.

“Did you visit me a few times?” he asked. “You know… when I was still in the coma?”

She looked at him and didn’t try to hide her confusion. She’d never told anyone about her visits to Jacen’s room, not even Poe.

“Yeah,” she answered. “How did you know?”

He swallowed a bite of his food and said, “I think I remember hearing your voice.”

Now she was even more confused.

“Mine?” she asked. “Your family visited you all the time. Why would _my_ voice be the one that got through to you?”

He shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

She leaned forward and wound her fingers together as she thought about the strange feeling she kept getting when she was around Jacen, like she already knew him even when they’d never met. She’d chalked that up to him being Jaina’s twin and her knowing Jaina as Kylo Ren, but maybe there was more to it than that.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t notice he’d finished his food until she heard the clinking of him putting down his plate. She glanced over at him in time to see him chug the entire cup of water and put it down next to the plate. He got to his feet and turned to her, his eyes alight with excitement.

“All right, Rey,” he said. “I held up my end.”

It was an odd feeling, but it was almost as if his excitement was leaking over into her because she got to her feet just as quickly. She followed him to the open area where she’d first tried to spar with Ben and they both drew their training sabers.

As his sabers lit up, he said, “I’m not gonna go easy on you just because you’re less experienced.”

She smirked at him as she lit her own sabers and readied her stance.

“Promises, promises.”

Then he lunged, and she quickly discovered how much different it was to be facing an opponent who used the same style as her. Having to keep track of one of her opponent’s sabers was challenging enough, but two was a completely different beast. It didn’t take him long to best her the first time and knock her onto her butt, but she was far from disappointed. Her enjoyment of challenges wasn’t something the First Order had ever been able to take from her.

He held a hand out to her, and when she took it, he pulled her up as if she weighed nothing. Then they were at it again, their sabers clashing, waving, and dancing around each other until they were both breathing heavily and sweating puddles. With every passing second, she was learning more and more, as if she were pulling the knowledge directly from Jacen’s head.

At the end of their last round, she managed to not only block him entirely but shove him back and immediately force him to dodge, something she hadn’t managed even once before that point. He shoved her quickly enough and managed to swing his hand down to knock away her dagger saber, but that mild disappointment didn’t come close to overpowering the pride she felt at making such progress, however small it might have been. So even as he bested her again, she only smiled contentedly.

He smiled back at her and said, “Never seen someone be so damn happy about losing over and over.”

“Why wouldn’t I be happy?” she asked slyly. “The more you beat me, the more you show me how to win.”

He laughed and lowered his sabers before blowing out a breath. She noticed him putting his sabers away as she was kneeling down to pick up the one he’d made her drop. After she put her sabers back on her belt, she looked at him.

“Feel better now?” she asked, more as a courtesy than anything. She already knew the answer.

“A little,” he said genuinely. “Thanks… Thanks for not asking me to spill my guts. Mom has done that more than enough already.”

She smiled and answered, “You’ll find I’m a member of the _talk about it when you’re ready_ camp.”

He laughed lightly and sat right down on the ground where he was. “Well, I appreciate that.”

She didn’t really have anything else she needed to do, so she decided to go ahead and sit down next to him. He was looking out over the city, and while he was still calm on the outside, she could feel the inner turmoil. He still had a lot to work through, and she wished more than anything that she could help him.

“So you never knew?” he asked. “That Kylo Ren was Jaina, I mean.”

She was momentarily shocked that he was asking such a question, but she still answered, “No. I had no idea. She always kept that mask on and she used a voice modifier. In hindsight, I suppose the frame should have given it away, but she was almost always standing next to Phasma. Everyone looks tiny compared to her.”

His eyes fell to the ground. “I can’t help thinking I could have done something if I’d been there. Maybe I could have gotten through to her before she…”

_Killed Dad_. He didn’t say it, but he didn’t have to. Her hand naturally moved over to lay on top of his, and while he didn’t externally react, she felt the storm raging inside of him slow slightly.

“That’s why Jemma couldn’t let you be there,” Rey told him. “She knew you’d be the one person who might break Jaina out of it. And you still might be.”

He shook his head. “I doubt it.”

“She faltered, Jacen,” she rebutted, remembering how Jaina’s expression had softened slightly at the mention of Jacen’s name. “When she thought about having to kill you, her face changed. I don’t think she’s completely lost, yet.”

“Yeah, well, that was before she stuck a lightsaber through Dad’s chest.”

She’d already had her mouth open to answer, but she closed it. She hadn’t thought of it that way, and she should have. Luke was the one who told her that you pave the path to the Dark Side by severing connections. Even if Han wasn’t the one she loved the most, it was possible killing him might have damaged her enough.

She brought her knees up to her chest and said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be trying to give you blind hope.”

He shook his head again. “It’s okay. I was the one who brought it up.”

He turned his hand over, and when he gripped hers back, she felt it again, the sensation of his emotions pouring over into her. This time it was contentment. She didn’t know why it was happening, but it was mildly discomforting. She’d have to talk to Luke about this.

“We’re gonna have to do this again sometime, Rey,” he said with a grin. “You up for it?”

She grinned back and without a hint of hesitation answered, “Hell yeah.”


	21. Chapter 21

When Poe had first shown up at the academy, Rey had been excited to see him, but after he told her that the General needed to see them both right away, her excitement was quickly replaced with worry. Jacen tagged along with them, and when they arrived, they found Luke, Ben, Chewie, and Lando all inside of the General’s office. The General was sitting at her desk while Luke and Lando were sitting in the two chairs across from her.

The General noticed Jacen and her eyes grew wider, “Jacen? You’re supposed to be taking it easy.”

Rey stole a glance back at him, and she could see him asking her with his eyes not to say anything. She hadn’t planned on it, anyway, but seeing him squirm a little was entertaining.

“Walking to the car is hardly difficult, Mom,” he said.

She crossed her arms. “Don’t even try it. You and Rey are both covered in sweat, and even if you weren’t, I’m just as Force-sensitive as you are. Count yourself lucky that I don’t have time to be giving lectures right now.”

He raised a hand to scratch the back of his head, and while Rey held in her laugh, she could tell by his annoyed expression that he knew she was amused. He moved away from her to go stand next to Ben while Rey led Poe over to stand with Chewie.

The General then waved her hand over her desk to activate a projection of a planet. Underneath it was the word Coruscant. Rey had heard of the planet from Phasma. She’d called it the former seat of the Republic.

“Yesterday, a signal went out from Coruscant,” the General began. “It only stayed live for a few moments, so we weren’t able to get the actual contents of the message. But the signal’s encryptions are ones we haven’t seen since before the fall of the Empire.”

Luke leaned forward in his chair. “Jemma.”

The General nodded. “Most likely. I’d wager she’s trying to gather allies by tapping into whoever remains of Emperor Palpatine’s old contacts. Many of them are dead, but we don’t know how many held on to their loyalty to the Empire and passed that loyalty on to their children.”

Rey hadn’t even considered that, but there were still people left alive who remembered life under the Empire, and those whose lives were better under it would definitely still hold a grudge against the new Republic. If Jemma could get them on her side… the thought made Rey’s stomach turn.

“So we have to prepare for that possibility,” the General said. “Rey, I was going to let you wait until after you get back from building your new lightsabers, but I’m afraid this can no longer be delayed. As you can imagine, the defected Stormtroopers are having difficulty adjusting.”

She didn’t need to imagine. “You need me to talk to them.”

The General nodded. “As regrettable as it is, we may need them if the worst comes to pass. Their military value aside, I can’t overstate how important their knowledge of the First Order might be to us.”

She wasn’t sure that any of them would know any more than she did, but she _did_ know she was the only one who could really help them.

“Yes, General,” Rey told her. “I’ll go see them right away. Where are they?”

The General sounded relieved when she said, “We had to clear out the warehouse across from the military barracks in order to set up temporary housing until we can find places for all of them. Poe knows where it is. Thank you, Rey.”

After saying a quick goodbye, Poe led Rey out of the room and back to the car. The warehouse was close by, so the trip was short. When Rey approached the door of the warehouse, she could hear the loud chatter coming from inside. There was also another voice, one that was much louder and being projected through a loudspeaker. She recognized the voice right away and opened the door to find exactly what the General had described.  
  
Beds with metal frames lined the room, and all of the defectors were standing at the back of the room in front of a small stage and podium. Standing at the podium, with a microphone in his hand and a stern yet understanding expression on his face, was Deacon Pine. He’d mentioned his plans on joining the Republic’s military, but this was the last place she’d expected to find him.

He was right in the middle of attempting to calm the defectors when he noticed her coming and stopped mid-sentence.

He then held an arm out to her and said, “And here she is.”

Rey’s heart thumped a little faster when every defector in the crowd turned to her, but the thumping turned to sinking when she saw their expressions. She saw that exact expression on her own face the night she looked into that mirror for the first time. Lost. Confused. Afraid. Overwhelmed. But behind it all was the silent expectation that she would be the one to calm that storm for them.

She couldn’t let them down.

She didn’t even realize she’d grabbed Poe’s hand until she had to let go of it and step toward the stage. It was surreal the way the crowd parted and let her pass, all the while keeping their eyes trained on her. She swallowed heavily as she made it to the stage, but just as she went to step up onto it, she stopped.

She momentarily glanced over her shoulder and met the eyes of one of the many women in the crowd. She had the same expression as everyone else around her, and after breaking eye contact, Rey reached her hand up toward Deacon, asking him to hand the mic down to her.

He looked confused, but he didn’t say anything and passed it down to her. As soon as she wrapped her shaky fingers around it, her throat dried and every single word she’d planned on saying to them since she volunteered to take on this responsibility disappeared from her mind. It wasn’t until this moment that she realized how colossal of an undertaking this was. She was supposed to help these people, and she wasn’t sure she even knew how.

A hand came down on her shoulder, and she turned to see Poe looking at her, his eyes as gentle and encouraging as they always were. He motioned toward the crowd and squeezed her shoulder lightly, and while it didn’t calm her entirely, it was enough to help her blow out a breath and turn to face her brothers and sisters. That’s what they were. All of them were in this together.

She held the mic up and said, “I, um… I thought for a long time about what I was going to say to you if any of you decided to escape. Lots of pretty words of encouragement passed through my head, but now that I’m here I don’t think I can say those things.”

She stepped forward and back into the crowd, and she didn’t miss the fact that Poe stayed where he was. Once she was surrounded on all sides, she stopped again and looked around, seeing faces and eyes of various colors. They were looking at her as if she had all of the answers, and she wished she did, for their sakes.

“I’m not going to give you the impression that any of this is gonna be easy,” she said. “You’re gonna encounter a lot of people who have lost loved ones to Stormtroopers, and there’s a good chance many of them won’t be as understanding as Deacon was. You’re probably going to find out that your families are nothing like the ones you’ve been picturing. But the hardest thing is going to be trying to find a way to move forward.”

The faces around her had wilted more and more with each passing second, and one of the men nearby was looking at the floor, his black hair falling over his eyes like a veil. She reached a hand out to place it on his shoulder, and he slowly raised his eyes to look at her. She flashed him the best smile she could and looked around again.

“But you do have one advantage I didn’t have when I came here,” she told them. “You have each other. No one is going to understand what you are going through better than the people standing around you right now. And as much as I’d like to personally help every single one of you through this, I’m just one person. All I can do is tell you how to get started. You _have_ to help each other.”

Rey turned to one of the women standing nearby. She had black hair, slanted eyes, and round cheeks.

“You,” Rey said to her. “What’s your name?”

The woman looked confused when she fumbled out, “RS-2201.”

Rey shook her head and took a step closer. “That’s not a name. It’s the number they gave you to stop you from having any sense of self. You can’t start to move on until you have a real name, one you chose, or one you were given.”

She heard a male voice from her right ask, “Did you choose your name?”

She looked toward the voice and saw the dark-haired man whose shoulder she’d touched.

She cleared her throat and answered, “Um… no. It was given to me.”

Her eyes naturally moved in the direction she knew Poe was in, even though she couldn’t see him through the crowd.

“Then,” came the voice of the woman, “could you give me my name?”

Rey looked at her again, and her expression, as well as those of the people around her, were closer to hopeful than hopeless. She didn’t know the woman well enough to choose a name based on her personality, but there was an easier way.  
  
”RS?” Rey asked. “Then how about Rose?”

She stared blankly at Rey for a few seconds, like the name was some sort of foreign word she’d never heard before.

“Rose.”

Her eyes slowly gained some luster and a smile curled on her lips. It was as if hearing the name in her own voice somehow made it more real and more hers. Then Rey turned to the young man she’d spoken to before.

“What’s your name?”

His blue eyes lit up before he answered, “KT-4…”

He shook his head and corrected, “Kent. My name is Kent.”

Rey smiled at him and said, “Nice to meet you.”

She turned again, this time toward another younger woman with blonde hair and brown eyes. She was fidgetting with her hands, so Rey stepped closer and gently laid her hand over hers to stop them.

“And you?” Rey said. “What’s your name?”

The woman met Rey’s eyes, and as soon as she did, Rey’s heart thumped. Since becoming more connected to the Force, she’d felt many feelings, but hatred was one she’d only felt a few times. As such, it was very easy to recognize. So when the woman dropped her hand to her waist, Rey knew what was coming and went for her dagger saber just as the woman pulled a hidden knife from her trousers.

The woman was too slow, and Rey easily caught her wrist with one hand and held the dagger saber to her throat with the other.

The crowd around her gasped, and several of them backed away. From behind the woman, Rey heard Poe’s grunts as he started pushing his way through the crowd and toward her. The crowd parted for him and when he approached, his eyes were wide.

“Rey?” he said. “What’s going on?”

She met the woman’s eyes again. “I was just about to find out.”

The woman’s eyes were frighteningly empty, and when she spoke, it sent chills through Rey’s body.

“_HR-5231_.”

Her voice wasn’t just monotone, it was robotic. That was when Rey finally noticed the small wound in the middle of the woman’s neck. Judging by the still-red stitching, it was healed, but relatively fresh.

“Did Phasma send you?” Rey asked.

“_HR-5231_.”

Rey’s eyebrows ran together. “Is that all you’re going to say?”

“_HR-5231_.”

Every time the woman said it, Rey’s discomfort rose because she knew as well as every other Trooper in the room what this meant. This woman had gone through the second round of re-education. There was no way they would get another word out of her.

“Poe,” Rey said. “Contact the General. It looks like we have more to talk about.”

She didn’t wait for Poe to answer and sheathed her dagger saber. Trying to be as gentle as possible, she waved her hand in front of the woman’s face and used the Force to put her to sleep. The woman’s body fell limp, and as she started to fall, Rey caught her. She was heavier than Rey thought she would be.

Poe’s communicator connected to the General’s and Rey heard her voice come through.

“Poe? What’s going on?”

Poe glanced in Rey’s direction as Rey was shifting the woman onto her back.

“We’ve got a problem, General.”

The woman’s weight seemed to press down on Rey as she started walking toward the exit of the building. She’d planned on staying with the defected Stormtroopers for much longer than this, but now she wasn’t sure how many of them she could even trust.

This was the absolute worst thing that could have happened today.

*****

The General and Luke met Rey and Poe at the prison when they dropped off HR-5231. She awoke as soon as Rey left her cell and closed the door. She sat up on the cell’s single bed and stared at Rey through the thick glass separating them, but the hatred Rey felt before was gone. It was replaced with a feeling far more discomforting: nothingness. It was as if the woman’s soul had been scooped out.

The General, Luke, and Poe were all behind her, talking about what just happened, but Rey’s arms were raising to wrap around herself as she continued to look at the woman. Apart from how chilling it was to think of how easily this could have been her, something else was bothering Rey. Why would the First Order go out of their way to get this particular Trooper a voice modifier so she could speak? Why would they not just execute her for the disability as they’d done for every other Trooper who had become crippled in some way?

She had to know. She hadn’t ever tried this herself, but she remembered what it felt like when Luke had done it to her, so she thought she could figure it out based on that. She closed her eyes and held her hand out to rest it on the glass. Search her mind. There has to be something there.

She followed the feeling of the Force moving around her and reached out toward the woman, still trying to be gentle because she didn’t want to hurt her. She felt the woman’s emptiness as if it were coming from her own head, and she bit down on her lower lip. Don’t get distracted. Concentrate.

She reached further, and as soon as she started seeing blurred images, she knew she’d succeeded. The blurring slowly ebbed, and when the images were fully in focus, she recognized where she was right away. This was the last room she and Poe had set foot into before they escaped the First Order. Fighters and storage crates surrounded her, and when she glanced around the room, she thought she saw movement. She honed in on her surroundings, but whatever she’d seen seemed to have vanished.

Then her ears were assaulted by a loud screeching and the entire room was bathed in red light. An alarm? Why. What was-?

‘_Red alert. A prisoner has escaped. Lock down all doors and close the hangar.’_

Wait, what? This was-  
  
And then she was moving, her body seemingly not under her control, and when she ran toward one of the nearby fighters, deep nausea took root in Rey’s stomach. She was looking at the back of her own head, seeing her own hands unhooking the fuel line from a fighter while Poe was climbing the ladder to enter the ship. She saw herself drop the fuel line and turn to follow him, but a voice echoed.

“Stop!”

She saw herself let go of the ladder as a blaster shot flew past her head, and she saw herself turn. Her hand was on her own blaster, but before she could fire it, Rey was suddenly yanked out of the woman’s mind and straight back into the prison.

She felt hands on her shoulders, and when she opened her eyes, she was surprised by the face she saw. His brown hair was blown backward and his breathing was slightly labored.

“Jacen?” she said weakly.

“What the hell are you doing, Rey?” he asked, sounding far more worried than she’d expected.

She was so taken aback by his appearance that her mouth hung open for a few seconds before she was able to say, “I should be asking you that. Why’d you suddenly show up here?”

“Good question,” came Luke’s concerned voice.

Rey and Jacen both turned, and every pair of eyes in the room were on them. Jacen took his hands off of her shoulders and backed away, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. Luke turned his gaze specifically to Jacen as he took a step toward them.

“Why _did_ you come here, Jacen?” he asked. “It seems rather random.”

Jacen’s discomfort radiated off of him as he crossed his arms and said, “Honestly… I’m not completely sure. I just had a feeling, like something was leading me.”

Luke’s brow furrowed. “Leading you _here_, or leading you to Rey?”

Rey felt Jacen’s discomfort rise even more before answered, “To Rey, I think.”

Rey looked at Jacen with wide eyes and asked, “Why?”

Jacen shrugged. “You think I know? I can’t explain it, but it was like I knew you were in trouble.”

Luke’s eyes turned to Rey. “In trouble? Just what were you doing before Jacen came in here, Rey?”

That was when Rey remembered what she’d seen inside that woman’s mind, and she found her throat was suddenly very dry. She turned from Luke and back toward the cell. The woman was still sitting on the bed, but her eyes were now on the floor instead of Rey.

“She was looking into that woman’s mind,” Jacen answered for her.

Luke’s voice dripped with annoyance when he asked, “What possible reason could you have for doing that?”

Rey knew Luke wouldn’t tolerate silence, but the woman was looking at her again and knowing what she knew now made that empty gaze feel much heavier than it had before. Her arms instinctively came up to wrap around herself and she made herself take a breath.

“That wound on her neck,” Rey answered shakily. “I did that. It was when me and Poe were escaping from the First Order. She tried to stop me, and I…”

She didn’t want to say it. It was already painful enough having to remember it. She’d thought for sure the woman had died, but now…

A hand was on her shoulder again, but when she turned this time, it was Poe. She instinctively moved closer to him and tore her eyes away from the woman, but the guilt didn’t stop eating at her.

“Don’t tear yourself apart over this, Rey,” Poe said softly. “You just reacted. I’d have done the same thing.”

As much as she knew he was right, it didn’t help. This woman was still broken, and there was no way Rey could help her like she wanted to help the other Stormtroopers. She’d never felt more useless.

But there was no sense dwelling on it. There was a far more pressing matter to attend to.  
  
She turned to Luke and the General before asking, “Do we have a plan for checking for other assassins?”

The General nodded. “I was going to send some people to interview each Trooper individually. If there are more assassins, we’ll find them.”

That was a small weight off of Rey’s shoulders but not enough to ease the exhaustion that was pressing down on her. She needed to be away from this prison, away from that woman.

“Is there anything else you need of me, General?” Rey asked.

“No, Rey,” she answered. “Go and get some rest. You’re going to need it.”

Rey wasn’t sure what she meant at first, but then she remembered. The lightsaber. Right. She still needed to tell Poe about it, but she decided she’d do it when they got back to his house. It would be better for her to stay the night at the academy so that she could more easily meet up with Farren and the others, but she wasn’t about to spend her day there if she didn’t have to.

Poe tugged at her hand, silently asking her to follow, so she did. But as she was passing by Jacen, she felt another tug, this one not physical. She glanced at him, and he met her eyes for only a fleeting second, but in that second, Rey felt something familiar. It was that feeling she would get when she would visit him while he was still in the coma. She’d meant to speak to Luke about these strange feelings she kept getting around Jacen, but the further she got away from that woman in the cell, the better she felt. She would see Luke tomorrow, anyway.  
  
For now, she just wanted to be with Poe.

*****

The house was warm when Rey and Poe arrived, and permeating all through it was a heavenly smell Rey didn’t recognize. She took a few steps into the living room and breathed deeply, only to realize the smell was coming from the kitchen. She glanced behind her, at Poe, who was lightly smirking.

He shrugged and said, “Thought you might be hungry when you came back.”

Indeed, she was starving. Nevermind how long it had been since she ate breakfast, her workout with Jacen likely burned off everything she’d eaten, anyway. She followed him into the kitchen and found a covered pot on the stove with some sort of soup lightly bubbling within.

When Poe approached and removed the lid, more of that meaty, spicy smell wafted through the small kitchen. He went to make both of them bowls and they carried them to the couch as they always did with their food. Only this time, waiting for the food to cool was absolute torture.

“All these things the Force can do,” Rey said as she looked at her bowl steaming on the coffee table. “But it can’t manage to cool off a bowl of food.”

Poe laughed and slid his arm over her shoulders as she leaned against the back of the couch. Well, if she had to wait for her food to cool off, anyway, she decided now was the best time to update him.

“So I need to talk to you about something,” she said.

“What’s that?”

She tried to keep from sounding overly excited when she answered, “I know Luke is giving us a week before we have to start training, but tomorrow he’s gonna be taking me, Jacen, Farren, and Eva to make lightsabers.”

Poe’s eyes widened. “_Make_ lightsabers?”

She nodded. “And he said it can take up to three days.”

She could see a small amount of disappointment flash across his features, but he covered it quickly enough with a grin.

“Well, look at you,” he said jovially. “Moving up in the world.”

Rey smiled back before stealing a glance at her food. Obviously it was still steaming, but she held back from grumbling about it and started trying to think of something else to talk about to pass the time. But during that silence, she felt a twinge of discomfort, maybe even nervousness. And it wasn’t coming from herself.

She turned her eyes on Poe and asked, “Poe? Are you all right?”

A pensive half-smile curled on his lips and he answered, “Never gonna be able to keep my thoughts to myself again, am I?”

She averted her eyes, feeling mildly guilty for prying. It wasn’t as if she was actively trying to invade his privacy. Even if she wanted to, she couldn’t turn off her connection to the Force, so without a distraction, her mind would naturally pick up on the feelings of those around her.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

His arm tightened around her and he answered, “Hey, come on. I was only joking.”

He wasn’t, not completely. She could feel that, easily, but she didn’t want to push him on it. Not after the day she’d just had. And besides, it was only natural that he’d be slightly discomforted by her ability to feel what he felt.

“It’s just something I was thinking about when I was getting the food ready earlier,” he said, sounding even more nervous now.

She cocked her head to the side, and he met her eyes for only a second before he faced them forward again. While his nerves were growing with every passing second, hers were melting away at the endearing sight of Poe looking flustered. It would never get old, no matter how many times she saw it.

“I know you said you _could_ live here,” he said softly. “I wanna know if, when you get back… do you _want_ to?”

Well, now her nerves were back. She hadn’t exactly forgotten that conversation, but it had slid to the back of her mind. And in the light of the past week’s insanity, it was about as far from her thoughts as it could be.

“Do_ you_ want me to?”

It came out with an eagerness she hadn’t meant to voice, and while it made her cheeks burn, it was obvious by Poe’s smug grin that it made him feel better.

“Yeah,” he answered. “I do.”

Her heart thumped as she instinctively looked around the room. A home. A _real_ home, one not tainted by the ghosts of a past she’d long forgotten. The very idea… it felt good. And it felt even better to know that it was a home she would share with Poe.

Her empty stomach and her food were forgotten in those moments as she climbed into his lap. This was becoming a ritual, one she’d long decided she enjoyed to no end. She dropped her elbows on his shoulders and leaned in as his hands slid up to rest on her waist.

Right before their lips could touch, she muttered, “Okay.”

The kiss deepened right away when she let herself fall completely against him, and she immediately felt the effect it had on him. Even if it wasn’t manifesting physically yet, his mind was practically screaming it. Arousal. Blazing brighter than every star in the universe. A few weeks ago, that might have frightened her, but not now. Now she wanted those hands that were staying frozen at her back to move to places they’d never been before.

She broke their lips apart and saw that Poe’s eyes were telling her the exact same thing his mind was. But there was something else there, too; a familiar expression that let her know he was about to reign himself in again. Take it slow, he said. A promise he’d painstakingly kept. Well, she decided things had been progressing slowly for just about long enough.

“You don’t have to stop, Poe,” she said, barely above a whisper.

The fire in his eyes died right away and was replaced with shock. With their chests still pressed together, she felt it clearly when his heart began to race faster.

“Rey… are you…?” he stammered, his voice betraying his excitement as much as the stiffness she was beginning to feel against her thigh.

She brought a finger up to press against his lips while her other hand moved slowly up the middle of his chest. _By the stars_, he was all heat and muscle. And when her hand reached the opening at the collar of his shirt, she felt the tickle of chest hair against her palm. Another more intense wave of Poe’s arousal washed over her, and whatever lingering doubts she might have had vanished in an instant. She couldn’t have foreseen how amazing it would feel to be wanted this desperately.

“You’ve waited long enough,” she told him, her own arousal coming through in her voice. “And so have I.”

She dragged her finger across his lower lip as she pulled it away and breathed, “So you’re not allowed to be a gentleman for the rest of the night.”

She’d suspected he would react strongly, but she let out a surprised gasp when he suddenly threw both arms around her, easily supporting her weight as he shot to his feet. Her legs hooked around him on instinct, and when she met his eyes, she swallowed. She’d thought his eyes were burning before, but only now, with him looking like he was ready to take her right where he stood, did she realize just how much he’d been holding back.

The voice that drifted from those lips was so husky that it very nearly made her lose her grip on him, “You don’t need to worry about that one bit.”

How he moved so quickly while holding all of her weight, she had no idea, but they were in the bedroom before she could even take another breath. Then she was on the bed, staring up at Poe as he was peeling the shirt off of his back, and she was suddenly glad she wasn’t standing. The sight likely would have made her knees buckle.

When he started to crawl onto the bed with her, she scooted back so that she would be even with the pillows. Once he was hovering over her, one arm on either side of her head, she reached up to cup his face. She should have been nervous. She couldn’t remember if she’d ever even done this before. But the fraught tenderness present in his gaze wouldn’t allow her to feel anything but unfiltered adoration.

So when his lips came down on her forehead, she said on instinct, “I love you, Poe.”

The sound of his name disappeared into the kiss he planted on her lips, one that was immediately followed by him letting his body weight come down onto her completely. It felt good. It felt _too_ good. She’d slept beside him, let him hold her, but she’d never been this engulfed by him before. 

The kiss broke, and she felt his hand sliding up her side when he answered, “I love you, too, Rey.”


End file.
